"5…4…3…2…1…HAPPY NEW YE-"

"RED'S A DUMBASS!"

The only sound that occurred in the room was the sound of the people on TV cheering. The Foreman household was probably the only house in all of America notcheering or anything. Instead, they were fearing for their lives.

"Oh my God, did he actually…?" Donna whispered to Eric. Eric wrapped his arms around her even tighter.

"I think he did…" Eric felt his heart pounding out of his chest.

Everyone slowly rotated their bodies to look at Red. His face had bloomed into a magnificent color of red. Was this really going to be the first time Red was actually going to kick someone's ass?

Kitty was ready to pull Red off of Kelso. Kelso was ready to take off running out that front door like his life depended on it (Actually, his life DID depend on it, so… even more the reason to run). Hyde was ready to trip Kelso's feet. Donna was ready to clutch to Eric for support while they cried they would laugh so much, and Fez was going to kiss Jackie happy New Years.

Wait, what is Red doing? What is he laughing at? Is Red… is he really… laughing at Kelso? My God he is!

Everyone laughed and raised their Champaign glasses. That was the first Dumbass of the decade. It was New Year's Day 1980.

When I woke up that morning I was on the Foreman's couch, not to mention that my head FELT LIKE IT WAS GOING TO EXPLODE. It was pounding like the drums in the school marching band did while I cheered for the Viking's at Football games. Plus, everything was spinning- Oh my God MAKE IT STOP!

No one else had fallen asleep on the couch. It was just me, myself, and I. On the Pea Soup colored chair Donna had fallen asleep on Eric. Fez had cleared everything off the coffee table and had crashed on that (Let me tell you that was a lovely picture), and Michael had fallen asleep on the floor in front of the couch. On the stairs was Steven; it was just him and his stripper- looking moustache. Ugh, that was one nasty moustache.

I climbed over Michael and made my way to the kitchen. On the way there I couldn't help but wonder Whatever happened to Randy? I didn't really care though, because I never did like him. He was Creepy, with a capitol C.

Seriously? The Foreman's didn't have Fruity Pebbles? I know that's a little kids cereal, but when you live with Fez, you learn to cherish Fruity Pebbles. They weren't that bad!

I jumped ten feet in the air when I turned around to see Fez staring right at me.

"What the Hell! You scared the crap out of me Fez!" I punched him in the shoulder and he let out "Aye" And gripped his shoulder in pain. I felt pretty tough when I punched Fez and he screamed like a little girl. I couldn't help but giggle.

"Hey, look, mistletoe!" Fez pointed at the ceiling. I went ahead and looked, and sure enough there was one.

"Fez, it's after Christmas, so its not-" I didn't finish my sentence before he kissed me. It wasn't just like a peck, but it was like… tongue- in- mouth. And let me tell you, it was pretty hot!

But I pushed him away just in time when the Kitchen door flew open to reveal Steven. I ignored him and continued to look for something healthy, or at least some fun cereal.

"What are you two doing?" Steven pushed through us and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator.

"Looking for something to eat." Fez said for me, but after he said that Steven reached behind me in the cabinets and pulled out a box of Fruity Pebbles. I gave him a kiss on the cheek (not too close to that moustache though) and ran to the table.

"Don't tell Foreman though, cause he has to go get his own box." Steven snapped as he left the room.

"Fez, get the bowls and milk." I sneezed. He just stared at me. "Please?" He smiled and happily grabbed both of them without a fight. I took the liberty and made Fez's bowl for him.

"Thanks honey." He said in his cute foreign accent.

"No problem cupcake!" I gave him an Eskimo kiss, which for you non- romantics is when two deeply in loved people rub their noses together. Where do Eskimos live anyway? Tennessee?

"GUYS! I HAVE THE BEST IDEA EVER!"

Fez jumped like six feet in the air, and took his cereal bowl with him and sent it crashing to the floor, Fruity Pebbles and all.

"What the hell was that for you sonofabitch!" Fez cried out, looking at the remains of the cereal.

"No, I'm cereal- I mean serious." Donna started to crack up. That was pretty hysterical though.

"We all need to just get out of Point Place for a while, you know?" She asked as she sat next to Fez at the table.

"That's what this was all about? I'm having to clean up a cereal mess because you're asking if we should get out of Point Place? You lazy sonofabitch!" Fez snarled under the table as he finished cleaning up the cereal and milk.

"No, what I'm saying is… where should we go? I'll get a van we can take so we aren't so cramped."

"We could go to my home country of-"

"No, Fez, there's probably a disease that could kill all of us. How about California to Donnas' mom's place? So then we don't have to get a hotel room, plus we can tan as much as we want!" I said. I am such a genius.

"Hey, that's not such a bad idea Jackie!" Donna gave me a high- five and started to think of all the places we could hang out.

"But… when does Eric have to go back to Africa?" Fez asked, his smile vanished like a box of chocolates does when they cross Fez's path.

Donnas' did too. "Oh yeah… well this sucks! This whole trip was supposed to be about the whole gang together, and then Kelso will have to leave too! Growing up sucks." Donna cried out.

"Hey, you just leave those two to me. Now you go figure everything out for the trip girl, cause we're leaving tomorrow morning." I smiled at Donna.

"Jackie… what are you going to do?"

"You'll see… you'll see." This was going to be the best vacation… ever.

"Hey Eric, are you in there?"

Damn, how'd she find me?

"Um… no, it's just Kitty. I'm cleaning his room. Ahahaha!" I tried my best to imitate Kitty, but… it's just too hard!

"You better not be naked, cause I'm coming in."

Sure enough she strutted in like she owned the place. She looked around the walls before smiling at me. "Soooo, whatcha doin?" She asked nonchalantly.

"Getting ready to go back to Africa…" I said like it was a question. How could she not see the bags I was packing up?

"Oh, but didn't you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"That your plane got delayed. You're leaving tomorrow morning at six instead." She looked at my bags and tried to hide her frown at all the clothes she thought were ugly.

But really? I'm leaving tomorrow morning? This was perfect, I could stay another day with Donna and get to know each other better and what not. I didn't really want to leave so soon, but hey, I get another day in Point Place!

"Really?" I stopped packing my clothes and looked at Jackie. She looked really sincere; no funny business was going on. She nodded her head and gave me a smile. Plus, why would she be lying? Since when does she like me enough to lie about me leaving later?

"Yeah, so what are you going to do in your spare time? Catch up with Donna?" She asked like a five year old, then giggled.

"Get out of here." I snapped, and she immediately backed out of my room.

Wow, I could probably take her out to dinner, or make dinner, or go out on a romantic picnic tonight and freeze our butts off or…

The neighborhood looked a lot different at the top of the Foreman's house. It looked… whiter.

"Hey Kelso, before you jump off of the roof, Jackie wants to talk to you!" Hyde yelled at me from below. Hyde and Fez also looked a lot different at the top of the Foreman's house.

"Oooooh Michael." She said. I still had the hots for her and all that, but she was with Fez. I had to give my buddy a chance with her before I tried to move in on Jackie. Oh Kelso, shut up, you got a kid and you just got back together with Brooke. You are taken. Damn, Jackie looked a lot hotter at the top of the Foreman's house! Hey, I can see down her shirt!

"Hello Jackie." I said in my sexy voice. I knew she secretly liked when I did my sexy voice.

"Oh shut up Michael!" She yelled at me. "Besides, your boss just called. He said you don't have to leave for your job for another week!"

"Really?" Cool, I can hang out with the gang for another week!

"Yep! He said you've been working hard and so he went ahead and said to take another week off!"

"Well this is awesome! Hey, Jackie! Before you leave, watch this!"

"Hehe, I cut a hole in his blanket." Fez whispered to me.

I looked over at Fez and giggled. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we watched Michael put on his blue goggles. He launched himself in the air and spread the blanket above him, and sure enough, there was a huge hole in the center of the blanket. Michael hit the ground like he was holding an anvil instead of… oh my God, Eric's spider man sheets!

"OW! MY EYE!" Michael yelled when he hit the ground.

"That's what you get for stealing my Tootsie rolls you sonofabitch!" Fez yelled at him. Steven high- fived Fez in accomplishment then laughed together. I couldn't help but laugh anyway.

Donna came running out of the house with Eric following her around like a lost puppy (like he usually did) then looked at the ground.

"What the hell just happened?" She asked as Michael brushed off his pants.

"I just flew." Michael said. I had to keep laughing.

"Right into the ground!" I screamed in hysterics. Steven and Fez laughed at my joke. I looked up at Michael and saw him looking at the Spider- Man sheets.

"Oh, here's your sheets." He stuffed them into Eric's hands.

"What the hell man! These were available for a limited time!" He yelled at Michael. Donna laughed and high- fived Michael.

"So guys, who's pumped for Ca-"

I gave Donna the hardest Frog on her arm I would ever accomplish in my life. She snapped her head and stared at me. "Well OW!" She yelled, and then she punched me. I gave her my shut- up look, and she immediately got it.

"Pumped for what?" Eric asked, and then he saw me staring at Donna. Something in his head must've clicked because a great big smile grew on his face.

"Oh, you found out that my flight leaves tomorrow morning instead of tonight?" He gave Donna a great, big hug. She was looking at me while she was in Eric's skinny boy embrace.

"Oh my God you told him the flight was tomorrow?" She mouthed to me. I shrugged, and by the look on her face it looked like she was going to snap me in half, but I guess she remembered that we'd all be cruising to California tomorrow morning because of me. So she smiled and have me a thumbs up. I gave her a thumb up back.

Michael ran over to Eric and put his hands on his shoulders.

"You're leaving tomorrow instead? Well that's great! Because I found out my boss said I can leave next week instead of tomorrow! Dude, that's awesome! Hey, you're light enough… have you ever thought about flying?" Eric shook his head no while laughing, but when Michael saw that he shrugged and stated "Oh well, your loss."

Donna strutted over to me and dragged me into the garage while the guys played basketball. "Jackie, you're throwing their careers away! Kelso has a kid and Eric… well he's just gonna be screwed!"

"Donna, it's okay. There's probably a scholarship for skinny, dweeby guys out there." I said. Donna tried to hit me again but I grabbed her wrist. "Hey, we're all going to Cali because of me, so just… shut up."

Donna sighed but gave me a smirk. "You do know Kelso and Brooke are dating again, right?"

Oh crap. I had TOTALLY forgotten about Brooke and Kelso. Well, she should totally understand anyway. Right? Right.

We were all in a circle. Me, Kelso, Fez, and Hyde. It was the first circle of the decade. I think I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

"I am so glad I don't have to leave 'til tomorrow. Or else I'd be on a plane right now instead of bein' with you guys!" I cheered. I raised my Popsicle into the air; influencing the gang to raise theirs.

"Yeah, and being able to stay another full week is just so freakin' awesome!" Kelso screamed.

"Yeah, we can see Kelso jump off the roof seven more times." Hyde laughed.

"No, probably a lot more than that. Hey Eric, got anymore Spider- Man sheets?" Kelso asked me.

"No you dilhole, you used my limited edition ones!" I yelled at him.

"Well, we won't have to worry about that, because Kelso can jump off the roof at Midge's house when we get there and use her sheets." Fez said.

"Whoa, when were you guys going to California?" I asked.

"Ummmm, I don't know. Don't look at me."

"But Fez-"

"I said don't look at me!"

"Fez, what are you talking about?" I yelled at him.

"OKAY FINE JUST STOP YELLING AT ME!" He screamed. For a few seconds it was really quiet in the basement. It was probably the first time it was quiet in the circle.

"This morning Donna and Jackie and I were talking, and we decided to get the whole gang to California, so we could all be together. Donna went and rented a van for us too. And your flight back to Africa really was tonight." Fez sighed. He snuck a chocolate candy into his mouth.

So… I was supposed to be on my way to Africa? My. Whole. Career. Is. Gone. Are you kidding me? Jackie lied to me so we could just go to freaking California? I was going to kick her ass! The whole point for me teaching in Africa was so I could go to college for free and support Donna!

I got up from the table and started to pace around the room.

"Hey Eric, you just got screwed!" I heard Kelso laugh.

"Oh really? Well didn't Jackie tell you that your boss said you could stay for another week?"

"Yeah, but… AW CRAP!"

We were sitting on the couch watching TV with Mrs. Foreman, and by we I mean Jackie and I. Back in 1976 I wouldn't dream watching TV with Jackie, but now… we're like sisters. I actually enjoy watching TV with her.

"WHAT THE HELL JACKIE?"

My heart skipped a beat, and I'm sure Jackie's did too. Eric (and I'm sure Kelso) found out. Oh no.

"Oh crap." I whispered to Jackie.

She looked at me like it wasn't a big deal. Eric, Fez, Hyde, and Kelso came busting through that kitchen door like it was this great, big, heavy thing. Eric stood above Jackie and started to rat her out.

"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT MY FLIGHT WAS IN THE MORNING?"

"So we could go to California." Jackie said it like Eric was stupid. Well, he kind of was. Didn't Fez tell him?

"Well I'm glad you're happy! My whole career and education is down the freaking toilet! I spent more than half a year in Africa for nothing! The whole point of me teaching in Africa was so I could support Donna when we got married!"

Whoa. Too much. I guess I knew he went to Africa so we could get married and have money and all that.

"I'm happy." I said, sticking up for Jackie.

Everyone looked over at me. I'm sure Kitty was having a heart attack next to me, but I wasn't going to look at her right now.

"The whole point of going to California was so we could all catch up on old times and get to know each other again."

Since that came out of my mouth I'm sure Eric wasn't going to scream at me, but instead I was going to get one of his little lectures.

"But Donna," He pulled me off from the couch. I put my finger on his mouth so he could shut up and let me finish.

"We can just go to a community college for a year or two, then if we really want to we can go to Wisconsin State. Okay? Let's not get into a great, big, hissy fit right now. The big picture is we're going to get out of all this snow and spend a month in California. Or something like that." I smiled, and I could tell Eric was going to say something, but I wasn't really in the mood to keep talking, so I gave him a great big kiss on the lips. I always loved kissing Eric.

I heard Kitty get off the couch and go upstairs, but I didn't let go of Eric at all. He was going to sit here and kiss me until he learned to shut up!

"Hey, question. Am I going to California?"

I let go of Eric and looked at Hyde. I went over to him and lightly slapped his face. "Duh, Hyde! The whole point of the trip was so the gang, that includes you, could just hang out on the beach."

He kind of smiled, but I put my finger up. "But- only if you shave off that moustache. You'll look like a creeper in Cali."

"OH THANK GOD!"

I looked at Jackie who was laughing her butt off on the couch. Fez came over to Hyde and placed his arm around his neck. "Yes, please do."

Kelso and Eric just shook their heads, probably thanking Jackie and me for coming up for this marvelous plan. Now, all we need to do is to put this plan into action.