Prologue
"What do you think you're doing you imbecile?" Kanda really wants to shout and thump furiously on the door with the flat of his palm. He merely gives way to thinking it furiously in capitals. Grief tears at him and he wants to break something but pragmatism stops him. "Open UP!" He growls – although again he does want to yell. He raises his hand to rap roughly – when he really does want to bang at the door.
"If I could I would kill him." The toneless voice greets him, and the man who comes to the door has only dead eyes. "If I could, I would turn back time and I should have killed him the first time I saw him," is the emphatic declaration.
"You can't and you didn't." With a huge effort he points this out gently, "and I am glad you didn't."
"How dare they – he," the man wants to finish but sputters softly into the quiet, "do this to me?" He seems that he cannot go on. All the 'oomph' goes out of him and he sinks slowly back into the corner of the sofa he was brooding in.
:¬:¬:¬:
"Yuu – "a soft tentative voice comes from without. With a start, Kanda remembers the others outside.
"Uh, yeah come on in you guys."
"I'll go make some tea," Bak Chang heads towards the kitchen.
"I'll watch him," Alma offers and pointing up, "you go and do what you need to do."
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He confers with Miranda and receives instructions, and further instructions to call her if the need arises. She is still jittery around him, even after all this time, but she has come to terms with his idiosyncrasies and he her foibles to have an understanding of sorts. Especially here and under the circumstances he appreciates her presence more than he is willing to say really, but he has an inkling that she knows, by the firm touch of her hand over his and the soft, "All will be well, I know it."
"I've tidied up around a bit," She says in an attempt at lightheartedness. "All her things are in the drawers and everything that you might need are labeled." She indicates the storage tidies atop the chest.
"Thanks so much Miranda," Kanda waves her off, "go, go home. You're needed there too."
"Ahahaha," she laughs demurely behind her hand, "I doubt so. They're probably hoping I will stay away longer, so I don't nag at them too much."
"I bet their dad is the worst of them," Kanda states succinctly.
"Still, you're right, I'll head off home," she smiles at him stressing to call her anytime. "She's sleeping now, and should sleep till about four in the afternoon."
Kanda exhales long and gathers himself, willing for some inner peace and strength. He treads lightly to the cot and watches over the sleeping child briefly before just as silently as he can leaving the room to go downstairs, to deal with, in his eyes the bigger child.
Author's Note:
The story is inspired by a series of prompts ganked from fictionisthefactdottumblrdotcom 35 ways to say I love you. Except I wen't off on a tangent with it. I hope someone out there enjoys it anyway. Happy May Day - Love - Zan
The prompts
As a hello
With a hoarse voice, under the blankets
A scream
Over a cup of tea
Over a beer bottle
On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, the late sunlight glowing in your hair
As a thank you
As an apology
When baking chocolate chip cookies
Not said to me
With a shuddering gasp
When we lay together on the fresh spring grass
In a letter
A whisper in the ear
Loud, so everyone can hear
Over and over again, till it's nothing but a senseless babble
When the broken glass litters the floor
From very far away
With no space left between us
As we huddle together, the storm raging outside
Over your shoulder
Muffled, from the other side of the door
Through a song
Without really meaning it
In a blissful sigh as you fall asleep
Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave
With a taunt, with one eyebrow raised and a grin bubbling at your lips
When I am dead
Slowly, the words dripping from your tongue like honey
Too quick, mumbled into your scarf
In awe, the first time you realised it
In a way I can't return
On a post-it note
Before we jump
As a goodbye