A/N: Hi! Here is the new and improved How to Seduce a Harem of Monsters! Some parts are now rewritten, revised, etc. The story is going to be mostly the same, but Tsukune will be appearing in the story, and Moka, Kurumu and Yukari will be fighting over him. Yes, it's still a self-insert, and I've made some changes. First of all, Zach is now a mage-a boundary monster, like the witches are. And everyone (except for Gin) are older than they originally are, with the average age being about 16-17. One more thing, Ruby shows up right at the beginning, and Kokoa also joins her dear older sister a year earlier. There are also two Moka'; the Inner and Outer Mokas are separate. Moka's parents are both alive and will be showing up in later chapters, as will her elder sisters. The parents of everyone else will also make an appearance, even if it is only brief. So, without any further ado, here's the story!

Disclaimer: Rosario + Vampire does not belong to me.

Chapter One: Yokai Academy

You know, monsters really aren't as bad as humans make them out to be. Or at least, that's how I see it. Then again, I'm a monster, so I guess that kinda makes me biased. Anyway, my name is Zach. As I mentioned before, I am a monster. A mage, actually. I've lived a good life in the human world so far, for about 18 years. I managed to graduate human high school without much of a problem, so I thought that my life was set. I mean, I could already blend in with humans easily as it is. Apparently, my parents had other ideas. For one thing, they were sending to a school for monsters. Come on, you have to agree with me that the last sentence is just ridiculous. I mean, how can you teach a monster…to be a monster? Aren't they like that naturally? That's what I thought. However, it turned out that the school was for "blending in with humans". Yeah, and I've lived my whole 18 years in the human world and never had a problem. So why should I go? …Come to think of it, my parents never DID give me a answer to that question…or at least a good enough one.

In any case, I ended up getting on this bus to head to that school. The bus driver was creepy enough as it was (I mean, his eyes were glowing. And he was in his human form, too.), and there was no one else on the bus, either. So, I guessed that meant that I was late or something. But after a hour or so, we entered this tunnel, and suddenly lights surrounded the bus. I was momentarily startled, but I quickly regained my cool. About that time, we had reached the end of the tunnel. Alright, I'll be honest with you; I was creeped out by the school, just because it looked like one of those haunted mansions you see in a horror movie, complete with a graveyard outside filled to the brim with tombstones and skulls. And the water was a reddish color. Yeah, that's not healthy. But I got off the bus, and after the bus driver gave me a cryptic warning about how dangerous the school was, he departed (to go do more creepy-bus-driver-type-things, I suppose) and I started the trek towards the school.

Overall, the walk to the school wasn't so bad. I mean, there weren't any crazy hot vampire chicks almost running me over with her bicycle or anything. No succubus trying to seduce me with her rather large assets. No prankster witch trying to get me and the aforementioned hot vampire chick in the bed together. No masochist witch trying to get me to do BDSM-type stuff with her. No crazy sister of the aforementioned hot vampire chick trying to kill me in order to bring her older sister back with her. No stalker snow girl…stalking me. Ok, I wasn't so sure about that last one. I did have a feeling I was being watched, but I just shrugged it off. Or at least I did until I happened to look up and see a…young woman. Clearly stalking me. Staring straight at me. And…oh my god she is pretty damn hot…ahem. Hormones aside, I was kinda creeped out. In a good way. I guess. Don't judge me.

So, I decided to be nice. I went up to her and said "Hello". Nice, short and sweet and simple. She just stared back at me with a very strange look on her face. She was smiling and blushing. It was rather cute, not that I was going to mention that to her. Didn't want to give off the wrong impression, right? After a rather awkward silence, I decided to try again.

"My name is Zach. I'm going to be a student at Yokai Academy. And you are…?"

"…Stare…"

"…" I inwardly frowned at the lack of response, but waited patiently.

"…Mizore…Shirayuki…" Whew, she actually answered…

"It's very nice to meet you, Mizore." I said, smiling.

"…The pleasure's…mine…" she responded, still staring and smiling at me. It was almost adorable. Almost.

"Soooo…I take it you're going to the Academy as well?" Another brave attempt at conversation. Huzzah.

"…Yes, I am." She replied dreamily.

"What kind of monster are you? I'm a mage," I said, glad to keep the conversation flowing.

"I'm a snow girl…" Oh. That explained a lot. No wonder she was staring at me like that. Well, I guess I can't blame her. You see, the snow people are in danger of dying out, and their birth rate is terribly low. So all females must be married by 17 and must have children as soon as possible (and as many as possible). One of my dad's friends is married to a snow girl, so that's how I know all of this. (On a side note, mages live typically a bit longer than humans, around 150-200 years, and have a decent birth rate. So hah. I win.)

"Mm, I see." Just then, I looked at my watch. "Ah, blast it all. We're gonna be late for the opening ceremony. Come on!" And with that, I grabbed her hand and started dragging her toward the school. If I had bothered to look back, I would've noticed how red her face was, and that her smile had gotten even dreamier, if that was possible.

~Insert Line Break Here~

We made it just in time to the school, after having to deal with a crazy hot vampire chick damn near running us over (I swear, the nerve of hot vampire chicks these days…). We also happened upon a young man who called himself Tsukune. He had also happened to be in the path of that crazy vampire; he had been less lucky than us, however, and had been hit. Poor guy. It took me awhile, but I noticed that I was still holding Mizore's hand. I let go quickly, mumbling a quick apology. She didn't seem to mind, however, and we didn't pursue the subject any further.

At the opening ceremony, we were at the back of the crowd. Tsukune quickly met up with that vampire from earlier, and after listening to the opening speech, we made our way to our destined classroom.

And that's what began the wheels of fate...