Hey, I wrote yet another angsty, one-shot fic. I again got writers block on all my on going fics, so when that happens, I write these angst fics to try to relieve my writers block. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't.
I don't own DBZ, or the song "Song for a Mix Tape". The Ataris sing that song.
This is for Valentines Day. I decided to post it a little early, because I don't think anyone's going to want to read this on Valentines Day.
I personally don't really like Valentines Day…that's part of the reason why I wrote this…
Anyway, enjoy!
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Song For A Mix Tape
February fourteenth. God, I hate this day. Valentines Day is evil, plain and simple. The day where people confess their "love" to each other with candy, flowers and other ridiculous gifts is sickening to me. Yes, I have definitely hated this day since the day I was born.
I feel different today though. Maybe today I won't feel lonely and miserable. Maybe someone actually cares about me.
Maybe someone will care about the person and not the image. Maybe people will care about Videl Satan as a regular girl, and not as the "daughter of Hercule Satan".
There is always hope.
I quickly make my way down the streets of Satan City. Brushing past many people, I run across the street without looking. Hopefully, I won't be late for school.
I hear the deep sound of a truck horn. Looking to my right, I see an eighteen-wheeler come speeding towards me. What the heck? Why can't I move? Get out of the way—now! It's going to kill you! MOVE YOU STUPID PERSON! Why am I so paralyzed? That truck won't be able to slow down for me…I know it will hit me head on right now…
Oh well…my life has been worthless anyway.
How am I so calm? Have I secretly wanted this? I feel my back split into two—goodbye world; maybe you'll forget me…
Wait…my letter…he has to read it.
~*~
Today I made you a mix tape
And I decorated it with lots of stars.
It had all my favorite songs.
There was Jawbreaker and Armchair Martian,
Built to Spill and The Descendants.
Hell I even put one of ours on it.
I walk slowly into the classroom today. I've never really experienced Valentines Day before, this being my first time with kids my age. Today I am going to admit everything to her though. I look in the usual spot to find her smiling face, but her seat is empty. This is strange. Maybe she found something on the streets that I missed.
But then again, I have this sick feeling in my stomach…
Falling for you was the easy thing to do.
If only I could make you hang around.
"Son Gohan" The intercom booms, "Will you please come down to the office. Thank you" It clicks, and there is silence.
I wonder what I have done. I'm the perfect student, I never do anything wrong!
That sick feeling I have gets worst. So nauseous…my head is killing me. What's wrong with me? Why hasn't Videl come into school yet? Why do I care so much? God…why do I care? She was only a friend…nothing more, never to be anything else…she didn't want anyone that close to her. She told me so.
Then why do I still care so much?
Today I made you a mix tape,
To say exactly how I feel inside
And make you feel it too.
These are the songs that make me smile
And cry myself to sleep at night
When I'm lying without you.
I walk into the principal office. He looks so sad. Panic suddenly strikes me. What if something happened to mom or Goten? What if they were hurt, or even worst, killed? I won't be able to deal with that. I'd go crazy if something happened to them…to lose another person I love, I can't deal with that.
"Gohan," He says slowly, as if trying to find the right words. "Videl, she's…"
He stops for a second. Videl? What about Videl? I don't care about her…I really don't.
Then why am I so scared about his words? He sighs deeply, and continues.
"Videl was killed in a car accident today. A car hit her. They found this letter in her pocket…it was addressed to you." He puts the paper on his desk, and slides it over to me.
I read it carefully, absorbing every word.
Gohan,
I hate this holiday, don't you? I'm always alone on it. I just wish someone could see me as me, and not as some famous person. God, I hate the spotlight. You're so lucky to be you.
Actually, that's why I wrote this. I figured this would be the day I tell you the truth.
Gohan…I…I love you. I love you so much. I'm sorry for never letting you know. I'm terrified of rejection—heck, I don't even know if you feel the same way. If you don't, please don't laugh at me. If you do, please talk to me.
I hope you care…god; I hope you love me back. I don't know what I'll do if you don't.
I need someone to love me. No one else seems to care except you. I probably need you more than you need me.
Great, now I sound pathetic. I'm going to stop before I say something even dumber. This day does strange things to people.
Bye
~Videl
I love you more than I ever loved anyone before.
Hey silly girl I'm begging you.
I collapse into a chair. Kuso! Gohan, you idiot! Why didn't you say something before? Why did you wait so long to tell her?
I reach into one of my pockets, and pull out a tape of mixed songs. It decorated with stars, and says her name on it. Everything I feel is in this tape. Now she will never know…you idiot, you waited too long. You were afraid of rejection, afraid of her not letting you in.
All of these songs they remind me of you.
I hope you like this song.
These songs…I'll cry when I hear these songs I taped. They were for you Videl, but I waited. I'm a stupid, idiotic person. Why did I not see through your mask, and see that you needed someone?
I bury my face into my hands like a small child. The announcement now comes over the intercom for the whole school to hear—and I'm stuck in the principal's office crying. I can feel his gaze upon me as if I were somehow different.
I am different in a way—they all see her as an icon—I love her for who she is.
Did you ever listen to the words and melody?
Do you feel the pain inside?
The way that it hurts me?
When you're in your room at night,
I hope you'll be singing along,
And make me a tape of your favorite songs.
"I'm sorry Gohan." The principal says. "I understand what you're going through."
How dare he talk to me? I look up at him with cold eyes. "No you don't. You will never understand." I abruptly stand up and walk out of his office.
As I walk through the corridors of the school, some random person is making a speech about how great Videl is. Her words echo through the hall, but they are empty to me. They do not know Videl. They never saw her like I saw her.
Falling for you was the easy thing to do. Now if you only stayed around, maybe you would know that.
Maybe this is my fault. She had talked about how she hated her life sometimes. Maybe she ran into the middle of the street purposely, so she could die. Maybe I could have prevented this from happening…if only I told her how I felt sooner.
Another person I could have saved. Another person I love gone forever…
I can't take this. I can't stand to know that I lost her. I throw open the doors to the school and walk out. I don't care if I get into any trouble. I just need to leave, and go far, far away, and possibly never come back…
~*~
A year later
Valentines Day…again. God, I hate this day. A reminder to me…I can't stand it. I found the location where they buried her. I never went to the funeral.
Walking to her grave, I reach into my pocket, and take out a tape.
Today I made you a mix tape
And I decorated it with lots of stars.
It had all my favorite songs.
There was Jawbreaker and Armchair Martian,
Built to Spill and The Descendants.
Hell I even put one of ours on it.
It still has all the stars on it, and it still says her name. Even after a year, I kept the tape. The tape of mixed songs I had made especially for her, to tell her how I feel. Even after a year, I still love her.
I slowly bend down and lean the tape up again the tombstone. I still wonder why I never told her that I love her. She needed me, and I wasn't there. I could have saved her, and I will never forgive myself for letting this happen.
"I'm sorry Videl." I say quietly. "I never told you that I love you. Here's my tape of mixed songs, hope you like them." I wipe a few tears from my eyes. How long I had been crying for, I do not know, but the ground is already damp. I look up—it's raining.
Falling for you was the easy thing to do
If only somehow I could make you stay around
I stand up and walk slowly through the rain. It's dark out—the darkness is good. I turn and take one last look at the grave, and I silently say goodbye
I'll never come back.
End is Forever
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The ending sucks. I hope you don't hate me for making the ending sad. I'm on a writing streak with sad fics, and people seem to like them. If you did like this, please check out some of my other fics. Thanks!
Please, review!