Surrender

Surrender

By Christine

Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King aren't mine. I don't own them. I'm not making money off of them. I just borrowed them to have a little fun. I'll give them back, I promise.

Author's notes: OK, in response to all the feedback, I've had Lee play things a lot closer to the vest. And I've toned down Amanda's sexuality just a pinch. I consider their make-out session to be barely second base. But this far into their relationship, I believe they are beginning to be a lot more open with each other. I can see Lee being very vulnerable and pouring out his feelings to Amanda, and I can see her being sexually assertive with him. They have admitted their love to each other at this point, and neither of them takes that kind of thing lightly. Lee is already contemplating marriage. And I see this contemplation not as an option in their relationship, but as an inevitable expression of their love. To me, they were already committed for the "long haul" when they admitted their feelings for each other. And I have no doubt that if Stemwinder turned out differently, Amanda would have followed Lee to Russia and sent for Mother and the boys when things settled down a bit. Thanks for all the feedback. It has really helped me put this story (and some of my own perceptions of L&A) into perspective.

Scene: Lee's apartment, late Friday night, between Stemwinder and Nightcrawler. Dinner is done. The movie is over. Now what?

Lee looked over at his partner. "Oh, man, Lee, she's beautiful," he thought to himself as he watched her watching the ending credits of the movie, ARSENIC AND OLD LACE. Amanda had never seen it before, and he loved watching her reactions to the absurd comedy. A half-hour into the movie, she had kicked off her shoes and untucked her shirt. It wasn't too much later that she lay down on the sofa with her arm behind her head and her bare feet flung up into his lap. She looked very relaxed and contented, completely at ease. Lee felt a deep intimacy with her, something that had absolutely nothing to do with sex. It went much deeper than that. Sure, he thought about making love to her, especially at night when he was alone in his bed. He pictured her as the shy, demure type who came running out of the bathroom and scooted under the covers in her embarrassment over her nakedness and his. He fantasized about slowly and gently coaxing her out from under the covers until she lay timid but unashamed in his arms. He dreamed of tenderly teaching her about the sensual responses of her body, quieting any protests with gentle kisses. He dreamed about guiding her hands over his body, letting her explore him and at the same time instructing her on how and where to touch him for his greatest pleasure. He liked to think of her as a sexual innocent, not really having very attentive partners in the past. He pictured Joe as the "slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am type", who never took time to cultivate Amanda's desires. Yes, he saw her as something of a Sleeping Beauty, and fantasized nightly of how to awaken her slumbering sensuality.

He was torn from his reverie by the sudden appearance of Amanda on top of him! What? She had moved quickly and stealthily to straddle him as he sat on the sofa, with her knees on either side of his hips, facing him as she sat on his lap. Her hands were on her hips and her head was cocked to one side, "Stetson!! Earth to Stetson!!" She was saying. When did she learn to move that fast? Those lessons with Dr. Pain were obviously paying off. He had the briefest of impulses to body slam her back onto the sofa and cover her body with his, but he resisted when he saw the merry twinkle in her warm brown eyes. Whatever was behind that twinkle might prove to be even more fun.

"Hello, Stetson! Where are you? I'm cold and I want my shoes back. I know you hid them from me the last time I went to the bathroom! Now where are they?"

He smiled as he realized he had been caught. They had paused the movie a short time ago for them both to have a break. Amanda had gone to the bathroom and Lee decided to use this time to raid the refrigerator. He had been very happy all night but was now beginning to get "bummed". The movie would be over soon and Amanda would have to go. He didn't want her to go, not yet...not ever. As he came back to the living room with a beer and a bowl of chips, he spied Amanda's tennis shoes beside the sofa, and a wicked little plan formed in his mind. He would hide her shoes from her and pretend to help her look for them when she discovered their disappearance. If he played things carefully, it would delay her departure by an hour, at least. While Amanda was still in the bathroom, he hid her little shoes in the bottom of his closet, beside his big ones. They looked like they belonged there all along. He liked what he saw. "Someday," his heart whispered, "I just may ask her to let her shoes come and live with mine permanently."

"Lee, my shoes, where are they?" She had leaned back slightly in order to study him more carefully, and he felt her little tush resting on his knees. It was driving him crazy, but he fought for composure and prepared to play the hand that had been dealt to him.

Lee Stetson put on his best innocent face, spread his arms out wide and replied, "Search me." He grinned at the "Oh, Please" look Amanda shot him as she caught his double entendre.

Amanda heaved a deep sigh and replied, "Lee, it's late. My feet are cold. And I need to go home. Do you know what time it is?" She asked in obvious exasperation.

"Well," Lee answered slowly and deliberately, his eyes dark and smoldering, "I believe it's negotiation time."

"Negotiate? I don't negotiate with terrorists, Stetson, you know that."

"Terrorist? My dear Mrs. King, I'll have you know I'm no terrorist. Just an innocent man protecting his interests."

"And, sir, does protecting your interests involve the kidnap and wrongful imprisonment of a defenseless pair of shoes?"

"Shoes? Madam, I have seen no shoes. All this evening, I have only seen bare feet. I am not convinced there ever were any shoes at all, just an attempt by you, my dear, to gain an advantage over me." Lee grinned from ear to ear, knowing he had gotten the best of her in this verbal sparring match. "Checkmate," he thought to himself.

He watched as Amanda crossed her arms over her chest and eyed him warily, "What do you want?" she asked.

And to the victor belongs the spoils: "What have you got?" He asked nonchalantly.

He watched wide-eyed as Amanda slowly leaned closer, closer, and closer still until her face was mere millimeters from his. She was intoxicating. He could feel her warm breath on his face, smell her perfume, and watch her hair move as she shook her head. He thought he might get lost in her eyes, and then an electric current jumped through him as her lips barely grazed his. She looked like a tigress, playing with her prey before moving in for the kill. "Oh, I've got all kinds of things," she drawled slowly and sensuously, " it just all depends on what you want." Lee closed his eyes and swallowed hard as he felt his whole body respond to her words. She was so close to him that her lips occasionally brushed against his as she spoke. He had many sex partners before, and even considered himself to be in love a time or two, but he found himself ill prepared to face the intense emotions now coursing through his body. He wondered if she knew he was at her mercy. He didn't know how to respond to her now, and he feared anything he might say would shatter the moment. So he waited in agony for her to take the lead.

"Well, I'll tell you what," she said as she cradled his head in her hands, "I'll just start with a few little things, and you can tell me when we've negotiated enough."

And with that, she pulled his head toward her and captured his lips with hers. She began gently gliding her lips across his, letting him feel their velvety softness. Then she deepened the kiss, teasingly trailing her tongue across his top lip, and then gently sucking on his full lower lip. He shyly opened his mouth to her and offered her his tongue. She took it willingly and danced it around wildly with hers, all the while holding his head firmly in her hands.

As they explored each other's mouths, Lee's hands left their place on her waist and timidly began to explore her bare back under her shirt. He began slowly and cautiously; afraid that every liberty he took would be one step too far. So he tried his best to contain himself, letting her take the lead. He would follow wherever she led him, and stop exactly where she wanted. This was way too good to mess up by moving too fast. Lee had never understood the concept of "making out". He had never really enjoyed foreplay, preferring instead to get straight to business. But he had never felt the sensations he felt now, not even in the heat of passion. Only Amanda could call forth the feelings in him, reaching deep into his soul and conjuring them up seemingly out of nowhere. And he planned to revel in the sweet agony Amanda was currently inflicting on him for as long as he could. "Oh, God, she feels so good," he thought to himself as he caressed the warm velvet of her back. Because of her position straddling his lap, he could feel her whole body, the whole body of the woman he loved more than life itself. Now he began to understand the power in lovemaking, and wondered who was the real Sleeping Beauty after all.

Lee gasped as Amanda tore her mouth from his. He opened his eyes and tried to focus as she trailed kisses down his jaw. The torture she had inflicted on his lips had left them swollen and tingling, but begging for more. But that was nothing compared to the assault she began on his ear. Her teeth gently biting his earlobe made him groan loudly, and he shivered uncontrollably as her tongue traced the outline of his ear. He was powerless against her, and could only hold on for dear life as she began to ravage his neck.

His hands, however, had a mind of their own and they began to explore her rear end through her jeans. He rubbed and caressed her bottom as he thought of the many times he had wanted to touch her like he was touching her now. And he thought back to the Lee Stetson he had been in the beginning, about the many times he had pushed Amanda away. He would have liked the opportunity to go back in time, to tell the old Lee that meeting Amanda would end his loneliness and bring peace to his troubled heart. He thought back to the sad and empty man he had been, and how he had been so angry with Amanda. Back then he saw her as the epitome of everything he would never know, everything he ever wanted but would never have. And it irritated him that he found himself drawn to her, like a moth to a flame, longing to be close to her lightness and warmth. As she continued to work her magic on his neck, he thought of all the times he had watched her from the shadows, needing desperately to be near her but so very afraid of coming too close.

Lee sighed appreciatively as he continued to massage her backside, enjoying the heady sensations she was still causing in him. "What are you doing?" he could feel Amanda grinning against his neck as she asked.

"Just feeling very grateful to have your love in my life, to have you tonight in my apartment, and to have your tiny hiney in my hands," Lee answered with a randy chuckle.

And he was grateful for everything she had given to him, and knew he would be lost without her. That last thought brought to mind a nagging doubt he had, and he felt he had to get it cleared up now, before he let his heart go any further. He now felt certain enough of the answer that he was brave enough to ask the question: "Amanda?"

"Had enough?" she asked as she pulled her face up to look into his eyes.

Lee didn't think he could ever have enough, but he had to get this question settled before the doubts ate him alive. "Um, do you remember a few months ago when you and Lisa from accounting went shopping together?" He switched into Agent mode, and turned to watch her every nuance as she responded to his questions.

"Where did that come from?" Amanda asked, clearly amazed. It was obvious that this was the last question she ever expected from Lee.

But Lee pushed on, needing to hear reassurances from her, hoping against hope that what he saw was not really what happened, "I saw your agenda for your shopping trip on your desk. I saw that you two planned on going to that lingerie shop, Victoria's." Lee watched her carefully as he spoke.

"Well," Amanda replied with a small smile teasing the corners of her mouth, "they did have a pretty big sale." Lee saw nothing but amusement in her eyes, and it gave him the courage to continue.

"Um, Amanda, I have been wondering, you know, all this time, just exactly what you bought there and who you bought it for." He hurried through the last half of the sentence, forcing it out of his mouth before he lost his courage. He held his breath waiting for her to answer. She stared at him like she really didn't believe what he had just asked her, then she shook her head slowly.

But her eyes stayed soft and her expression remained bemused, "Well," she answered quietly and gently, "I bought some underwear..."

"Sexy underwear?" Lee interrogated.

"No," she replied patiently, "just regular, you know, nice underwear. Nothing sexy. And a few short satin gowns to sleep in." Her hands still cradled his head as they continued to talk, and she massaged his scalp lovingly. Everything she did to him felt so good.

But he was so afraid that Joe King was making an appearance back in her life. It seemed that every time he drove by Amanda's, no matter how late it was, Joe's car was in the driveway. Shortly after Amanda and Lisa had gone shopping, Lee drove by to find Joe's car in the driveway at 3am. All the lights were out in the house, and he knew from experience that everyone was asleep. He felt mortally wounded as he put two and two together and came up with visions of Amanda in a sexy nightie curled up in Joe King's arms. Lee didn't like the thought that Joe used to make love to Amanda, and he could barely stand it when he thought of Joe making love to her again. He had tried to fish for information about her shopping trip with Lisa and why Joe's car was in her driveway so often, but he dared not get too detailed lest she read too much into it. But then things between them had started to click. They began to date and soon he found himself telling her of his love. In his joy, he had shoved the incident to the back of his mind. But now, close to total surrender to her, doubt reared its ugly head and he had to be sure.

"Oh, no. I've made her angry." He thought as he felt her move off of him. He watched her stand up and his fear turned to complete shock as he watched her pull her shirt over her head and discard it on the floor directly at his feet. "Amanda! What are you doing?" he asked incredulously.

"I thought you wanted to know what I bought from Victoria's," she answered slyly as she stood facing him in a champagne beige bra. It wasn't lacy or daring, but it was pretty in its simplicity, and she looked absolutely fabulous in it.

Lee wanted desperately to envelope himself in her body, in her love, but something stopped him. Lee began to wonder if she had recently stood like this in front of Joe King. He KNEW that Joe had wanted Amanda back, and he was so terribly afraid of being on the losing end, again. Lee saw a Joe and Amanda reunion as a definite possibility. Amanda had told him herself that she would always love Joe. Joe King always came in through the front door and kissed Amanda on the lips and she often called him "Sweetheart." And it frightened Lee terribly. His fear made him stupid. "Who else has seen you in that?"

"Hm..." Amanda looked thoughtful as she delicately lowered herself down to straddle his lap again, " let's see, there's Lisa, of course, and the saleslady. Oh, and I think Mother caught a glimpse of me today as I was getting ready." He was so grateful to her for not being angry at his little interrogation. She was being extra-gentle with him, as if she knew instinctively how vulnerable he was at this moment.

Her left hand lightly stroked his face as she asked soothingly, "Lee, what's bothering you? Just ask me whatever it is you want to. I'll answer any question you have." Her voice was so tender and her eyes were so warm that he felt secure enough to voice his deepest fear.

"It's just that I heard you and Lisa laughing about men and sexy lingerie, and then I happened to be in your neighborhood late one night and saw Joe's car still in the driveway." Lee stopped short and eyed Amanda warily, watching for any change in demeanor, no matter how subtle. His face remained neutral, and he forced his body to stay relaxed beneath her, but his heart cried, "Amanda, I'm so afraid of losing you to him. Please, Amanda, stay with me. I won't leave you, ever. Not after all the hell I've been through in my lifetime."

Lee watched Amanda sigh a deep sigh and then frown ever so slightly. He could tell she was weighing his words, and was carefully choosing her own. "Don't you trust me, Lee? Don't you know me better than that?" she asked slowly and softly.

"Yes, Amanda, I trust you. I trust you with my life. But I don't trust him. I know men, Amanda, believe me, I know men. And I know a desperate man when I see one. He wants you badly."

"Well, I don't want him. Yes, he has been spending a lot of time at the house lately. He's been in Africa all this time, and he's got a lot of catching up to do with the boys. But that's all. I've made it very plain to him that he's welcome in his boy's home anytime he wants to come, but it's not a package deal. I remember what it was like being married to Joe King, and I'm in no hurry to go anywhere near there again. He just up and walked out on me because it wasn't what he wanted to do anymore. That hurt me so badly."

"But you two get along so well together. You two have a history together, and you have children together. I just keep wondering how long it will be before you find yourself in his arms, intentional or not."

Amanda shook her head and put her hands up in front of her, "OK, Lee, I've had enough. Don't you know me better than that by now? If I was having any doubts at all, do you really think I would be here in your apartment, in your lap, in my underwear? Is that how you think love goes? Is that what I can expect from you one day?" She shot him an angry look as she climbed off of him and reached for her jeans.

Lee knew he had seriously messed up. He realized that his doubts had made her more than angry; they had hurt her. And they had caused her to begin to doubt him. She got up and began to pull on her shirt. He knew he had to stop her before she left angry. He was at a loss of where to begin or how to proceed, but he knew he had to make things right. So he did the only thing he knew to do, he reached out for her and grasped her arm in his hand, "Amanda..."

But she was not willing to be touched. She jerked her arm away from him and stood glaring at him. "Do you really think I would do that to you after all the time we've spent together and after knowing how long it took to get where we are now? Do you really think that love is so callous and fickle?" she asked shakily. He could tell she was close to tears, but wasn't sure if they were tears of anger or of pain. The sight of her as upset as she was crushed him. And he answered very quietly, "No, Amanda, I have no idea how love is supposed to go. I only know it hasn't gone well at all for me. I know next to nothing about love, and I'm constantly in awe that love comes so easily to you. Everything I know about it I've learned from you. I'm sorry I failed this lesson. I'm sorry I hurt you and messed up the precious gift you tried to give me tonight. I love you Amanda, please believe in that."

By the time she pulled on her shirt and sat down by him, he could see that her expression had softened considerably. "OK, Lee, I forgive you. This time. But we've got to talk about trust. If we're gonna be in love, we're gonna have to trust each other completely. Otherwise, it won't work, and it won't be forever. Lee, I can't stay with you if I don't trust you. I can't love like that. That's not love, not in my book, anyway. So when I hear you talking to all your old girlfriends on the phone, I trust that you aren't making dates with them and aren't encouraging them to call back. And I trust that you haven't thumbed through any of your black books since you told me you love me. Now, when you drive by my house at 3am and you see Joe's car in the driveway, you're just gonna have to trust that he's sleeping on the sofa because he's taking the boys fishing at 5am. And you're gonna have to trust that I DON'T want him back in my life because I know him and I know what he is. He's hanging around us now because he's lonely and the boys amuse him and Mother fusses over him and he's trying to catch my attention. But as soon as something else comes along, he'll be out the door without a backward glance. And that's OK by me. But it's going to kill the boys. Oh, well, at least they've had his attention for a while. I love you, Lee Stetson, and I want you to be secure in that."

"I love you, Amanda, and I'm sorry. You're right, we do need to trust each other completely. I promise not to be so suspicious anymore. If you'll promise me something?" Lee looked at Amanda with a barely controlled twinkle in his eyes.

"What?" Amanda asked warily.

"That next time you go shopping at Victoria's you'll show me what you bought. I really liked what I saw, and I can't wait for another sale," Lee grinned suggestively.

"Oh, you!" Amanda answered with a sofa pillow to the side of his head. She never could stay mad at him for long.

And that night, alone in his bed, he played the events of the evening over and over in his head; wondering how far things would have gone if he had not been so stupid. But he was still glad to have been able to erase all of his doubts. And he fell asleep dreaming of the next time he hid her shoes, and how he was sure it would lead to total surrender.