I strongly suggest that you listen to the song Echo by Sweetbox as you read this fic. :) Tell me if you fall in love with the song! ;D
Echo
Chapter 1:
Emptiness
The chiffon skirt of the strapless white dress whooshed around Karin's legs, and she shifted from toe to toe, fighting the urge to smooth her dress. As the beginning chords of a haunting piano melody sounded across the club, she exhaled deeply and stepped out onto the stage in her sister's strappy heels. She had dressed carefully tonight, taking her time to brush out her long ebony colored locks and unhurriedly patting on minimal make up. After all, this was the end of some of the most beautiful times in her life, as well as the beginning of something new. It was a gift to herself, and Karin was determined to walk away from everything with her pride intact.
Taking a deep breath, she gave the attentive crowd the smallest of smiles and began to sing, her breathy voice resonating through the club.
"Like a call across the ocean,
did I hear you say my name?
Is my mind just playing games?
I can feel you when I'm dreaming,
See your face in every crowd,
Until they turn around."
Karin swallowed back the growing lump in her throat, and clutched the microphone tensely.
"Every night going out with the girls,
don't know what to do with myself.
Trying almost everything to forget,
Nothing helps.
And my heart's torn in between
Letting go and hoping you'll see
You belong with me-"
She sang on, everything feeling fuzzy, unreal, like a dream that she would wake up from very soon.
"Maybe I'm blind,
maybe it's over.
Maybe they're right,
maybe you're gone this time.
Telling my heart,
It's going to be harder,
When it hears you every sigh.
Like an echo-
Like an echo-"
And Karin couldn't help it as images flashed through her mind- memories she held onto like a lifeline, yet still buried deep into the recesses of heart. Scenes of her in a scratchy chicken suit and him ambling out of his car and offering her his hand; scenes of her and her silver-haired companion racing to the top of the peak; using their bare hands to catch stray tadpoles, his expensive suit ruined uncaringly; and sitting together in companionable silence on his spacious balcony, staring up at the stars…
She ignored the sharp stab of pain in her chest; she was used to it, and she knew exactly what a broken, shattered heart felt like. It'll be gone soon, the pain- and leave another hollow space in her chest. Then she will feel nothing.
Absolute emptiness.
No more hurt, no pain, no more little bits of hope, no joy- and that's what she needed.
"Like a star over the desert,
Like a light across the fog
Can't keep this hope from burning
Like a signal to come home.
And I know that you might be further,
Than you've ever been before."
And her mind cuts to the part when he left her there, she herself calling desperately after his steadily retreating back, her staring after him, a stupid hope still in her heart…even though her mind knew perfectly well…
"Like an echo-"
She shut her eyes tightly, because she couldn't fight back these memories anymore, couldn't fight back the moisture they brought to her eyes. She hated to cry. She hated looking like a little girl once more, as if she had innocent, crystal stars dripping down her face; and so confused, so alone…
"My friends don't understand
It's not like I am choosing
To do this to myself.
They say just don't look back,
They don't hear the echo that you left.
And my heart's torn in between
Letting go and hoping you'll see,
You belong right here
And trying almost everything to forget,
Nothing helps."
And it was all right.
Karin closed her eyes again, turning away from the audience, hands white-knuckling the microphone once more.
Because even if it was for the lifetime of a song, she could still finger her scars, lick her new wounds, and bask in the pain of betrayal, broken trust, and broken hearts. For the lifetime of a song, she refused to lie to herself.
"Maybe I'm blind,
maybe it's over
I'm telling my heart,
It's going to be harder
Because you're still here inside.
Like an echo-"
Karin wasn't stupid. She wanted to forget; it was constructive to forget. Fingering her skirt, she paused. But she also knew it was destructive to pretend.
"Like an echo-"
And it was there and then, as she finished the last song, that she made her choice. She promised herself –many times- that after this one last song, one last letter to him, that she would say goodbye and go on her own merry way.
She stepped back from the stage, tottering off the edge, everything a blur. Two icy, cold tears dripped down her face, landing splat on the floor, trampled on by feet, so many feet- too many people, too crowded- she had to leave, she had to be by herself and scream, cry- whatever she wanted- but there would be plenty of time for both later.
A hand caught her wrist, and she looked up woozily.
"Rangiku-san?" she murmured.
The woman stared down at her, almost disbelievingly.
"Oh Karin-chan," Matsumoto's wide blue eyes filled with tears. "Oh, I'm sorry, Karin-chan. I'm so sorry." And there was something in her eyes that let Karin know that Matsumoto understood.
Hot tears running down her cheeks, Matsumoto pulled her into a hug. "I didn't know, Karin-chan. I honestly didn't know."
Karin looked up at the ceiling. What was left to say? What hadn't she said before? What was left to do?
"It's all right now, Rangiku-san. It's over. This time, it's really over," she said quietly, as if she were comforting the older woman, and not herself. "It's done."
I don't own Bleach, or Echo, by Sweetbox. It's a bittersweet song, and I found it one day while surfing through my Asian music program. xD
This is a companion to Chicken Princess, and this is where I'm collecting some new ideas. But don't expect these stories to end the same way. Because they will NOT-and I repeat, NOT relate to each other in any way (other than the songs I'm still trying to pick ;D).
REVIEW! And tell me, should I make it a one-shot, two-shot, long chapter story, what? It's all up to you! :D