Tonks left the hospital room with a heavy heart. She couldn't explain her love to Remus. Fat teardrops slid from her brown eyes, she had reached the ultimate low of her depression. As she let the teardrops fall, she realized that torturing herself like this wasn't going to help her, she took a deep breath and let the tears rest on her cheek, like the hand of a loved one.
"Remus why don't you understand?" she called up to the twinkling heavens in earnest.
"Tonks," a voice from behind startled her, "would you like to talk?"
"R- Remus?" she dared to hope, and as she turned around, a small thrill opened up in her chest.
"Yes, it is me," Remus came from within the dark shadows of the night, into the silver light of the crescent moon.
"Please come with me to my house, this night has been too depressing, I cant discuss this here of all places. Where Dumbledore---" her voice squeaked.
"I would be happy too," Remus held out the crook of his elbow, "shall we?"
The pair arrived at Tonk's flat after the uncomfortable experience of Apparation.
"Remus, what do you want to talk, I mean to say, I.." she broke off hardly daring to believe that Remus might love her back. She wanted him to whisper the sweet poetic words of love that so often dripped from the lips of fools. She wanted to be able to decipher whether he was being honest with her or not. She wanted this moment to weave in and out of her dreams in years to come.
"Tonks, about the hospital," Remus took one of Tonks's delicate hands, and began to massage it between the two of his. When he realized what he was doing he let go, but his fingertips lingered for a moment on the space in-between her index and middle finger.
"What about the hospital?" Tonks asked after a very pregnant pause.
"Tonks, I truly do have feelings for you, more than you will ever imagine," Remus stopped talking and stared at the corner of Tonks's fraying comforter.
A hopeful fire began to burn somewhere inside of Tonks. She wanted to kiss the man before her, and she felt herself subconsciously leaning towards him, her face was inches from his. She caught herself just in time, and pretended to be staring at a scuff mark on her shoe.
"But, Tonks, and yes, love there is a but. As I have said many, many times before, I am too old, too poor, and too dangerous. Do you know how many times I could slip and bite you? Do you know that I can barely support myself, let a lone a wife, and possibly children." Remus swallowed, as if every word he said was a puncture to his heart, and soul, and his stature seemed to shrink before Tonks. A wave of pity surged through her, as she stared at Remus, shriveled and unhappy.
"But I don't care, I don't care, I don't care! I can make some of the money you know, I do have a pretty nice job at the Ministry. I will make you the Wolfsbane potion, every month before the full moon, and I will take care of you when you are at your weakest, as long as you take care of me when I am at my weakest," she touched his arm for a moment, her soft flesh brushing his weathered flesh, a butterfly landing on a peak of sand, "you aren't so old."
Remus felt his heart racing at her slight touch.
"So why do you want to fight it?" Tonks said as softly as the snow, "we balance each other, you and I. You need a little joy in your life, and I need someone to ground me, and catch me when I fall. You need to dance in the rain once in a while, and run across a beach. I need to spend more time at home reading. Most importantly," her face was so close to his, she could almost see into his soul, "I love you so much, I would die for you, I hope you feel the same way."
"I do feel the same way, but Tonks! Granted, I need a little color in my life, my life is pretty much a gray frontier with nothing to see but small dots of color too far away to see, and Lord knows you could use some gravity in your life, but Tonks—Nymphadora, you are much too good for me. As I have said before, you deserve someone young, and whole, I am not young, and I am no longer whole."
"I am not too good for you! We are both people, we could make each other whole!"
Remus looked at her with such ferocity, that Tonks backed away slightly.
"People!" He exclaimed, "you say that we are both people? Do you know what I become every month? Do you? I am vermin, I should not even try to associate with wizards and witches, especially beautiful ones like you. Don't you see Tonks? I am persecuted and judged, people will always associate me with the wicked werewolves who bite innocent children. Nymphadora-"
"Do you despise yourself that much? You have a family of friends who love you! Remus, Harry, Ron, and Hermione are three of your most devoted students who still love you after discovering your secret. You are a member of the Order of the Phoenix, fighting for good and not evil. You could have sought refuge with Voldemort, but Remus you chose to be good. You chose the Order. You are the bravest man that I know, Remus. You are kind, humble, funny, and—" she paused for a moment to look deep in his eyes, which were tenderly gazing at her.
"Sexy." She said quietly as she finallyleaned towards him and kissed his lips softly. As she was about to pull back, Remus took her face in his hands and began to kiss her tenderly all over her face. He kissed her forehead, her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, and finally the place where he accelerated his passion—her mouth. She fell backwards as Remus gently pushed her onto the couch. Elation soared through her, This is better than I ever imagined. She thought as she ran a hand through his hair.
"Tonks," Remus broke away from her.
"mmm?" she mumbled
"Are you prepared for a parade of prejudice and hatred coming towards you very quickly?"
Tonks sat up and snuggled very closely to Remus, cupped her hands over his ear, and whispered, "If it means being with you, then none of it matters." Remus smiled broadly, and kissed her cheek. The two recently proclaimed lovers fell asleep in each others arms, knowing that whatever tomorrow brought, it would be a brighter day.