Just Friends
Her breath dances lightly across the base of my neck, pulling me from a fitful slumber. As I open my eyes I notice her arm thrown haphazardly over my midsection, her face buried in the crook of my neck. I know I should retract myself from her hold, but I can't. I run my hand up and down her back, my hand coming into contact with the soft caramel skin at the base of her back. I let out a deep sigh. This is heaven to me. I may not ever get the chance to have Calliope wrapped around me like this again, so I savor the moment, wishing it to never end.
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. I notice Callie starting to stir as she huffs gently into my neck. Worries run rampant through my mind as I think about our current situation. We've cuddled before, just never like this. In all of our years of friendship we've never once woken up wrapped around each other in such an intimate embrace. Because "just friends" didn't touch like this. "Just friends" didn't hold each other while they slept. No, we've crossed the line for "just friends."
That's what Callie had called us when one of our classmates asked if we were dating. She had laughed it off like it was absurd; she said we're "just friends." I didn't realize exactly how much I wanted to be more than Callie's friend until that very moment, until the sting of her words finally hit me full force. I realized that I didn't have any right to feel this way, she was speaking the truth, we are "just friends."
Flashback:
The bell rang to signal the end of third period and leapt out of my chair in a rush to meet Callie. I fast walked to the gym entrance as per usual and waited for Callie. I felt a warm pair of hands wrap around my face, covering my eyes.
"Guess who." The sing-songy voice of Callie rang behind me.
"Could it possibly be my best friend?" I giggled.
"And who would that be?" She teased lightly.
"April?" I joked.
"Heeeey…" She whined, smacking my arm. "That's not funny." She faked a pout and it took everything in my willpower to not kiss the pout off her sweet lips.
"I'm kidding, Calliope. April doesn't hold a candle to you. Now come on, we're going to be late to Webber's class." I grabbed her hand to drag her to biology. When I was no longer pulling her and she was making pace beside me, I didn't release her hand, I just couldn't. It felt too good in my own. Her hand was warm and soft, and it just felt right. Usually, we don't hold hands, actually we never hold hands, it just wasn't something that friends did. Fortunately, if she noticed the change, she didn't mind, or at least didn't mention it. That is, until one of our stupid classmates pointed it out.
"So." I heard from the right of Callie. It was then that I looked over and saw Mark Sloan, one of Callie's friends walking beside us. "Are you guys like, a thing?"
"WHAT?" Callie nearly yelled down the hall, dropping my hand immediately. She started to laugh nervously, a habit of hers. "Psshh no, that's… that's ridiculous is what that is. We're just friends." She crossed her arms defensively.
I'm not sure if they continued to talk after that, but I wasn't listening, the only sound I could hear was the blood rushing through my head and Callie's voice saying "ridiculous" like a mantra. "Just friends," she said. Like growing up together since we were five, spending almost every waking moment that we could together meant nothing.
For me, Callie was my everything.
End Flashback.
For me, I knew "just friends" wasn't going to cut it much longer, I wanted—no needed—more from Callie. The only problem was that I didn't think Callie felt the same way. In my head we were meant to be together, this just felt right, like she was made to fit perfectly in my arms. I took the hand that as lying across my stomach and intertwined our fingers. Perfect. Her dark complexion complimented my pale skin tone just perfectly.
It was then that I noticed that her breathing had changed; she was awake. I glanced down at the chocolate brown orbs staring quizzically up at me. She blinked a few times, trying to clear the sleep from her eyes, probably confused as to why she was basically spooning me.
"Hey," I said awkwardly, not quite sure how to act normal in this situation.
"Hey," Her voice was raspy with sleep and her eyes darted about the room, refusing to make contact with my own. And I was worried this was going to be awkward. I make a move to remove my hand from her own, trying to slowly rid myself of this uncomfortable place that Calliope and I have found ourselves in. She squeezes my hand tightly, forbidding me to untangle our hands. I look down at her questioningly and am met with the dark brown that I have learned to love so much.
"Don't…" She whispers, the desperation in her eyes seemingly pleading with me to not release her hand. I gently squeeze her hand in reassurance, reassurance of what exactly I don't know.
"Never," I rasped out, rubbing my thumb lightly over the back of her hand. And so started our unspoken agreement that whatever this was between Callie and me, it would never again be "just friends."