Title: Optical Problems

Author: Kate - sky_fly1@hotmail.com I want to know if this is any good, so pease send feedback! (

Genre: Well I suppose there's a bit of humor, and one of Jack O'Neill's phobias!

OK, I don't own them, would like to though! I'm not getting paid for this, I just want to write some fanfic so people can have a laugh, at me or the fanfic! : P



Optical Problems



"Damn these papers, the print's gettin smaller every day!" Colonel Jack O'Neill of Sg1 complained, as he squinted at the newspaper in front of him.

His second-in-command Major Carter hid a smile. The team was lounging in the Rec room, after being given a week of downtime because of an outbreak of the flu at the base. As Hammond said, they couldn't risk taking the contagious virus off-world, and infecting another race. Daniel looked up from a book of known Earth languages. "Er, Jack, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but maybe you need glasses." O'Neill looked ready to retort with one of his wisecracks, but stopped short. "ACHOOOO!!!" Carter passed him the tissue box. "Tissue sir?" He nodded. "Fanks Carter." He blew loudly. "Daniel I do NOT need glasses! My eyesight is perfect thank you!" "Well actually sir, when we were heading to that meeting...." "Carter, I said then, and I'll say it now. That sign distinctly said left to Florida!" "Oh and that time when you mixed up the salt and the sugar when you were making us coffee, sir." Daniel winced at the memory. "There was that time when we on the way to O'Malley's and-" "Aw fer crying out loud! I'll get my eyes tested, ok! Right now, in fact!" O'Neill strode out of the room and down the corridoor. Daniel cleared his throat. "Ah, Jack? The infirmary's that way." Jack stalked back and shot Daniel an extremely dirty look. " I know that Daniel!" He stormed off towards the infirmary. Sam and Daniel both grinned. Sam started down the corridor after her commanding officer. "This could be interesting Daniel..."



Jack O'Neill strode down the base hallways, on the way to the infirmary. Why on earth was he doing this? He didn't need glasses! No sirree... He started as he realised he'd reached the infirmary. He cautiously edged in the door. "Colonel!" O'Neill jumped. Dr Fraisier walked over to him. "What can I do for you?" she enquired, looking slightly puzzled and amused at his behavior. "I, uh, need my eyes tested Doctor, but of course if you're busy..." He edged towards the door. "No, no. Take a seat," she collected her equipment up and brought it to the examination bench. "Open your eyes nice and wide...good....tilt your head a little to the left...ok." she peered into his eyes through her instrument. "Ok, now let's test what your vision's like," she said, grabbing a board with letters of various sizes all over it. "Just say them one by one, ok?" "Ok...ah, A, Q, B, G, Y, um....U? J, P, er.....um........" "I think it's a C sir." Jack jumped and glared at his two friends who stood grinning in the doorway. "Ever heard of privacy?" Janet coughed. "Colonel, I think I have a verdict. You are going to need a pair of glasses." O'Neill's jaw dropped, and Carter and Daniel sniggered. "Only for reading, and objects up-close, like road signs. Ok, let's get you a pair of glasses..... ah! These should suit you," she held up a pair of fine gold rimmed glasses, and approached O'Neill with them. He unconciously took several steps back, until he was trapped against the wall...

4 weeks later.... Jack O'Neill stood studying his face in the small Rec room mirror. Daniel wandered in. "Hi Jack." He took a seat on the couch, and shot a curious glance at O'Neill. "What're you doing?" " You know I think these glasses bring out my strong jawline..." he looked closer, as Sam, who had just walked in, rolled her eyes. "Of course, I was happy to get them, kept saying I needed them." he strolled out smugly, leaving Daniel and Sam gaping after him.

This is dedicated to my friend Pamela, who watches Stargate with me, and my other buddies Claire, Danielle and Nicole, none of whom wear glasses! : P