ONE DAY EDWARD CULLEN WAS WALKING ALONG WHEN A GAP APPEARED UNDER HIS FEET. AFTER FALLING FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS HE LANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF A DARK FOREST. HE HEARD THOUGHTS OF STRANGE CREATURES AROUND HIM, CHILDISH THOUGHTS WITHOUT MALICE.

SUDDENLY A FEW FAIRIES POPPED OUT OF THE BUSHES AND STARTLED HIM. HE STARED AT THEM AND THEY STARTED FLYING AROUND HIM AND TAUNTING HIM. "LOOK LOOK, ANOTHER HUMAN LOST IN THE WOODS!"

"LET'S MAKE HIM CRY!"

"YOU GUYS, THIS IS STUPID."

IGNORING THE FAIRIES ENTIRELY, HE RAN OUT OF THE FOREST REALLY FAST AND FOUND HIMSELF NEAR A LAKE WITH A GIANT MANOR ON THE OPPOSITE BANK. TWO MORE FAIRIES SHOWED UP, LOOKING DIFFERENT FROM THE LAST FEW.

"WOAH, LOOK AT ALL THE SPARKLES!"

"ARE YOU SOME KIND OF FAIRY, MISTER?"

AS MUCH AS HE LIKED TO BE THE STOIC SERIOUS GUY, BEING MISTAKEN FOR A FAIRY WAS A BIT INSULTING.

"I'M NOT A FAIRY. I'M A VAMPIRE." HE INSISTED, BUT THE FAIRIES LOOKED HIM OVER INCREDULOUSLY.

"YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A VAMPIRE! YOU'RE ALL SPARKLY AND OUT IN THE SUN!"

"HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A VAMPIRE BEFORE TO KNOW THAT?" AS HE SAID THIS, IT DAWNED ON HIM THAT SOMETHING REALLY WEIRD MUST BE GOING ON, BECAUSE HE WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH A REAL LIFE FAIRY IN A STRANGE PLACE HE DIDN'T RECOGNIZE. HE CHIDED HIMSELF MENTALLY FOR BEING SLOW.

"WELL, THERE ARE TWO VAMPIRES IN THE MANSION ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LAKE, BUT THEY'RE SCARY AND CAN'T GO OUT IN THE SUN."

'CAN'T GO OUT INTO THE SUN?' EDWARD THOUGHT TO HIMSELF. EITHER THESE TWO WERE HIDING THEIR SECRET, OR THEY WERE JUST A COUPLE OF VAMPIRE POSEURS WHO BASED ALL THEIR CHARACTERIZATION OFF OF ANNE RICE NOVELS (PLEASE DON'T SUE ME ANNE RICE)

WHILE HE WAS THINKING TO HIMSELF, ONE OF THE TWO FAIRIES STARTED FREEZING HIM TO THE GROUND UP TO HIS KNEES. WHEN HE TRIED MOVING, HE SIMPLY FELL OVER, CAUSING HER TO LAUGH. HE GROWLED A BIT AT THIS AND PUNCHED THE ICE, CAUSING IT TO SHATTER INSTANTLY. THE FAIRIES WERE SOMEWHAT PUT OFF BY THIS AND DECIDE TO RETREAT TO PLAY WITH FROGS INSTEAD OF THIS STRANGE NEWCOMER. 'I SUPPOSE I SHOULD GO SEE WHAT IS UP WITH THOSE VAMPIRES IN THE MANSION. AT LEAST THAT WAY I CAN FIGURE OUT WHERE I AM AND WHERE I NEED TO GO.' EDWARD REASONED.

AS HE APPROACHED THE FRONT GATE TO THE MANOR, HE STARTED TO CALL OUT TO A RED-HEADED WOMAN WHO WAS SLEEPING IN FRONT OF THE GATE, BUT BEFORE HE COULD, A GIANT LASER BEAM PUMMELED HIM INTO THE GROUND, TEARING THROUGH THE GATE AND THE FRONT WALL OF THE MANSION. HE QUICKLY LOST CONSCIOUSNESS FROM THE HEAT AND CONCUSSIVE FORCE.

ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES LATER, A MAID CAME OUT OF THE MANSION, FLANKED BY A SMALL PURPLE WITCH WHO WAS DRAGGING A BAG TIED AT THE TOP AND FULL OF MARISA. THEY THREW THE BAG INTO THE LAKE, THEN CAME BACK, ONLY TO TRIP OVER THE BODY IN THE GROUND.

"WHAT IS IT? AND WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?" SAKUYA ASKED.

"IT'S SOME KIND OF MYTHICAL CREATURE, OBVIOUSLY" REMARKED PATCHOULI. "AND IT LOOKS LIKE A MASTER-SPARK-AND-RUN. THAT'S ILLEGAL, YOU KNOW. ANYWAY, LET'S DRAG IT INSIDE, MAYBE I CAN FIND A BOOK ABOUT IT OR SOMETHING." SO THE TWO PULLED THE CULLEN INSIDE TO THE LIBRARY, UNBEKNOWNST TO THE SCARLET SISTERS THEMSELVES, WHO WERE HAVING THEIR AFTERNOON NAP.

WILL THE SCARLET DEVIL MANOR TREAT OUR HUNDRED YEARS YOUNG HERO WELL? WILL MARISA ESCAPE FROM THAT BAG BEFORE SHE DROWNS? WILL SUWAKO SHOW UP AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF CIRNO? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF A VAMPIRE STORY!