Her mind was astonishingly quiet. On any other day she would have been thankful for the moments of peace that she got from the torrent of thoughts that she processed all the time; almost like a need. However now, it didn't matter. Momentary peace couldn't fill the void that her body had become. The little thoughts that did manage to seep in offered a way to end it all. Before the pain could register. Before she had to face the music. On their own accord, her legs guided her to the elevator.
She stepped inside, pressing 27 on the panel, and waited for the elevator to take her to the top. She quietly watched the numbers change on the display. The ride was thankfully uninterrupted. Not many were out and about at 3 A.M. Broken like a trance, her solitude was short lived. The elevator stopped at the 10th floor, and Elsa prepared herself to ignore whoever stepped inside. Her mind was fixated on one purpose alone; unwilling to let anything come between her and her quietness. As the doors parted, she wasn't prepared for what she got. Nothing. Relieved, she watched the doors close to the brightly lit floor. Darkness engulfing her, inviting her back to her emptiness.
"Hold it please!"
Elsa heard the voice at the same time she saw the girl's face. While she wasn't keen on sharing the space with her, the girl held Elsa's gaze with earnest eyes, running towards the elevator. Unable to figure out how she could keep her solitude without being blatantly impolite, Elsa pressed the button to reopen the doors. Rushing inside, the girl greeted her with an enthusiastic "Thank you!" and a grateful smile. Everything about the intruder, her smile, her voice, her shining waves of auburn hair and her body language screamed extrovert. Elsa resisted the urge to cringe. She was so caught up in her effort to remain stoic; she realized after a few moments that she never acknowledged what the girl said.
'Should've been impolite the first chance I got' she thought to herself. The girl seemed unaffected though. Elsa caught her staring, a shy smile gracing her lips now instead of the beaming one that adorned them earlier. As her eyes rose to meet the girl's, she saw recognition in them. She quickly turned away. A stranger she could deal with, but an acquaintance, especially one she couldn't bother to remember, was not someone she wanted to share her last moments with. "You're Elsa right." The voice was soft, hesitant. Its owner gazed at Elsa's fingers instead of her face, and silently Elsa was thankful for it. Elsa looked at the display. Still 10 floors left. She tested her voice in her head, unwilling to give away her state of mind by her prosody. Then quietly, so softly, but firmly replied,-"Yes." By the corner of her eyes, she saw the girl's smile widen. She averted them again, as the girl looked up to her side, spurred into conversation by her dry response.
"You defeated my brother in the state championship, in 12." It was quiet again; a different kind of quiet, as they watched 26 pass over the display. "I tried to be a loyal sister, but the Sonata…. You played so beautifully." The girl's voice had grown softer and softer, in a cadence so similar to the music piece that she referred to. The elevator broke the silence, as 27 flashed on the display. Elsa stepped out, and despite the cold logic in her head that dictated otherwise, turned to face the girl. She looked directly into her eyes now, a faint smile lingering on her lips, simply refusing to leave the girl in peace. "I rooted for you in the nationals. Both of us did." Elsa gave her a little nod, not sure how she felt about the information. Not sure if she felt at all; but she couldn't leave the girl unacknowledged as the doors of the elevator closed between them, and she held her gaze till the very end.
Elsa stared at the door for about a minute, feeling the pull of the cool night breeze from the open hallway wash on her back. She turned and fell to the ground, her back sliding down the cool metal of the elevator as she sat on the marble and buried her head in her hands and knees. She almost wished her legs would take charge again, her brain would freeze so she couldn't think again, her heart would stop so she couldn't feel; again. But she did feel. Anger ignited inside her; on herself, on fate, on the girl. For it was too late to do what she had been about to do, but too early to wish to do anything else.
She stood up and went to the railing, breathing deeply in the night air, her eyes wide as she looked at the city below her. Each moment counted heavily, changed something in her; answered some questions, asked some new ones. Maybe not today, but if Elsa knew something in her bones, it was that someday in the future she would be glad for what had happened; be glad that there would be a someday to look back at today. She walked back to the elevator, her labored steps in sharp contrast to the ones that had led her to it before. Her hands shook, with fear or cold, she knew not, as she pressed the button and held herself together till the elevator arrived. She stepped inside, and as soon as the doors closed, tears rolled down her face while she stared at the display. Maybe fate bore witness, for she heard the soft hum of Moonlight Sonata emanating from the speakers, something that she had been oblivious to on the ride up. She wiped away her tears and stepped off the elevator, perhaps in a state more tempestuous than the one before. Heading to her future on an uphill climb, she held on to the sound of that music, and made a promise to herself, to root for herself.