Day One

Spike watched all of them gather around her, discussing what to do. They hadn't included him or Dawn but he didn't care. He didn't want to be part of any discussion that involved dealing with the dead body of his beloved. Plus, he was in no state to speak.

When he felt he couldn't cry anymore he looked around again – still unable to take it all in. Feeling a soft hand on his shoulder, he turned to find Dawn crouching by his side; her eyes as dead as his; her mouth as silent. They held each other and together they found more tears. After a while Willow came and ushered Dawn away. Arms interlinked they, along with Tara, walked away from the base of the tower. Xander followed, carrying Anya, and Giles followed carrying Buffy, leaving Spike completely alone aside from Ben's corpse off to the side.

Glory's minions and mental patients all scarpered long ago.

The sun was getting up, and there wasn't much shadow left where Spike had been sitting. He contemplated staying put – letting the beams of light wash over him and take him away – but the promise he made to her kept re-playing in his head; strengthening his resolve. He knew he had to stay alive for Dawn. He had to keep the slayer's sister safe. So he peeled himself up and made for the nearest sewer entrance; letting out a piercing scream as he jumped down into it.

He walked for hours; paced back and forth within the tunnels until he couldn't stand being on his feet any longer.

Upon getting back to his crypt he opened a bottle of bourbon and drank its contents down in one go before smashing it against the wall. It didn't take long for the cocktail of grief, exhaustion and intoxication to take full effect. Soon he was curled in tight ball in the corner – head in hands – out for the count.

He dreamt of Woodstock and all the surreal memories he had of it, but even while dreaming part of him knew something wasn't right; that he shouldn't be strolling down memory lane when his life – his reason for living, so to speak – had been ripped from him. Just as he was about to punch his dream self in the head to end the flashback he saw a glimmer out of the corner of his eye. Something was glowing in the darkness. He turned his head towards the source of the light – dancing among the lighters being held up by hippies. Immediately he knew it was her. It didn't matter that she'd lost her form and was essentially a floating orb of energy; he recognized her essence and was drawn towards it.

He felt his legs shake beneath him as he made his way to disembodied Buffy. The distance seemed to take a lifetime to cross but eventually he found himself before her; kneeling, he closed his eyes and felt her warmth pass through him.

"No!" he begged, with fresh tears in his eyes. "Don't leave me. Stay. Please."

"William," she whispered, so gently.

"Yes, Buffy. I'm here. You're with me. Don't go."

Despite his pleading he felt the warmth ebb away from him, but again she whispered his name as she went. From there he fell into senseless trance that lasted hours. When he finally did wake – late in the night – he found Dawn sitting atop the tomb in the centre of his crypt.

"Niblet," he said.

"Spike," she said, not looking at him. "I couldn't sleep. Everyone's talking about funeral plans. I had to get away. Please don't throw me out."

"It's okay," he sighed, "I won't."

His dream of Buffy left him with a strange feeling of peace that remained with him while awake. It helped him to function. He offered Dawn a drink before remembering the only thing he had left in stock was 0+. Instead they walked the cemetery, back in the general direction of her house but in no particular rush.

"As much as I like you around," he said, "The others would sooner put a stake in my chest than to see me take care of you. Now that Buffy's not here I guess there's no-one to stop them."

Dawn let out a cry; unable to hold it in any longer.

"People need to stop dying!" she screamed. "They need to stop! Don't you dare die!"

Holding her in a tight embrace Spike promised that he'd be around, that he'd always be there for her, even though he didn't know if it were true.

He swore to himself that as long as Buffy's friends would let him, he would watch over her sister; secretly hoping that doing so meant she'd continue to watch over him; to visit him in his dreams.

To be continued...