A Day at the Beach
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Hey again! :) I'm still Queen Lucy of Awesomeness, with a name change! ;D I got inspired to write this little one-shot when I was at the beach earlier today, and I thought about that commercial with the little girl on the beach telling her dad about why the sky is blue. For some strange reason, that made me think about Homer and Lisa. I thought it'd be funny if they had the same discussion, with different results. XD
Summary: Homer takes Lisa and Maggie to the beach, and a lot of stuff happens, even a little "discussion" between Homer and Lisa about why the sky is blue. XD
Disclaimer: I don't own The Simpsons. Matt Groening does.
Enjoy! ;D
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It was a typical summer morning. The kids of Springfield had just gotten out of school a week ago, so now they were on summer break.
One family in particular, the Simpson family, was ready to celebrate another glorious day of vacation. Bart was going to Milhouse's to play video games and to watch Itchy and Scratchy, and Lisa was going over to her friend Janey's house to play with dolls. Homer was off work from the Nuclear Power Plant today, so he was just gonna stay home and watch as much TV and eat as much as he possibly could, then go to Moe's Tavern later on.
Those were the plans, until Marge said something at breakfast.
"Attention, everyone! May I have your attention, please?" Marge asked. Everyone ignored her until she said the same thing louder.
"Thank you," Marge said when everyone looked up at her. "Now, today's going to be a different day. It'll be a Father/Daughter and a Mother/Son Day."
"Aww!" Everyone else (except Maggie) whined. Everyone, even Homer and Maggie, knew that these "bonding times" never ended well.
"Bart's going with me today to do some shopping at the mall," Marge continued, "Homer, you take Lisa and Maggie out with you."
"AWW!" Bart and Homer whined again.
"But Mom, I was gonna go play at Milhouse's today!" Bart cried.
"Sorry, honey," said Marge, "you can go play at Milhouse's tomorrow. But you need some new clothes besides that one outfit you always wear."
"And I was gonna watch TV and pig out and go to Moe's!" Homer whined. Then he smiled dreamily. "Mmm...pig."
"No sir, you're taking the girls out and that's final!" Marge said. "Bart, Lisa, you kids go get dressed."
Lisa and Bart unwillingly obeyed, and came back down a few minutes later wearing their usual everyday outfits.
Another few minutes later, Bart and Marge left to go to the mall.
"You'd better take them out somewhere, Homer!" Marge called before leading a grumbling Bart out the door.
Homer sat on the couch, but he didn't turn on the TV. He sat there grumbling with Maggie on his lap.
Just then, Lisa came in. "Dad, since we're all going out today, I figured that we could go to the library or something," she suggested.
"Sweetheart, you know Daddy doesn't read or like to read," Homer said, rubbing his middle child's spiky hair.
Lisa frowned. "I'll take that as the 'or something,'" she said. "Hmm, how about we let Maggie choose what we do today?"
"Maggie's a baby, she can't choose what we do today," said Homer.
"She's a smart baby," said Lisa. "She can point to something or use body launguage." Then she turned to her little one-year-old sister and smiled at her. "So, what do you think, Maggie? What should we do today?"
Maggie answered that instantly by pointing to one of the paintings by the TV and letting out a few sucks on her trademark pacifier. The painting showed a couple on the beach.
"You want to go to the beach?" Lisa asked.
Maggie nodded.
"The beach?" Homer asked. "Okay! Let's go change. And do me a favor and change Maggie, she's starting to stink up the whole room." He held his nose.
Lisa rolled her eyes and took Maggie upstairs to change her diaper and into her bathing suit.
Homer put on his bathing suit and waited for Lisa and Maggie.
"LISA! Hurry up!" Homer yelled from downstairs.
"I'm going as fast as I can, Dad!" Lisa replied from upstairs. A few minutes later she was ready. She was wearing her purple bathing suit, and Maggie was wearing her pink one.
"Hi-diddly-ho, neighborito!" Ned Flanders called from the window outside. "Are you ready for another God-tastical day?"
"Shut up, Flanders," Homer said, and Ned waved and left.
In the car, Homer was being his usual idiot self. He passed the beach and thought he was on his way to Moe's for a beer.
"Dad, you just passed the beach," Lisa said.
"Oh, is that what we're in our bathing suits for?" asked Homer. "I thought we were going to Moe's to run around in a beer sprinkler."
"No, Dad, we're going to the beach," said Lisa. From the backseat, Maggie rolled her eyes.
Homer paused for a moment, then remembered. "D'OH!"
He swirled the car around and was in the direction for the beach.
At the beach, Lisa took a couple of towels out of a bag and laid them on the sand. She also took out a pair of sunglasses and put them on.
"Cowabunga!" Homer said, running into the ocean and splashed all around at almost every person he saw.
He did a lot of splashing and fooling around, until he felt something biting his hand and lower arm. He lifted the creature out of the water only to reveal a baby shark.
Homer started screaming awfully loud and stared shaking his arm to get the shark off, but with no success.
Maggie turned to Lisa, who smacked herself in the forehead.
Homer ran over to his daughters. "Lisa! Get this shark off of me!" Homer screamed.
"Okay, Dad, calm down," said Lisa. "I'll help you."
Lisa gently got the shark off of her father, and threw it back into the water.
Then she reached into her bag again. "Good thing I brought my emergency First-Aid kit," she said.
Lisa had Homer sit down on one of the towels so she could bandage his arm.
"Alright, no more swimming for a little while," Lisa said to her father. "Got that?"
"Yes, dear," Homer said a little sadly.
"Let's all just relax with a little music," said Lisa. She got out her saxophone and started playing a tune on it.
Homer got annoyed, as usual. Then he said to Lisa, "Lisa, this is a beach, not a band class, now put that thing away."
Lisa rolled her eyes and obeyed him. Then she sat down on the towel and thought of something.
"Hey Dad, do you know why the sky is blue?" she asked.
Homer thought for a moment, then he got an idea. "Um, 'cause of your mom's hair?" he asked.
Lisa shook her head. "Nope, not even close," she said. "Well, you see, Dad, all colors have wavelengths that are diffused by nitrogen and hydrogen. And since blue is the shortest of the wavelengths, it's diffused up to ten times more. It's the spectrum of light."
Homer looked confused. "No, it's not," he said. "It's because it's the color of the icing off a doughnut that I had yesterday at work!" Then he got his dreamy face again. "Mmm...doughnuts."
"Dad, I just explained it to you," said Lisa.
"No, you're right...wait," said Homer. "It's the color of...it's the color of Bart's shorts! And...and...it's the color of Maggie's PJ's and ribbon! And the color of...of...oh, I know! It's the color of those gas prices at K-Mart!"
"Um, Dad, don't you mean Circle K?" Lisa asked.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Homer said. Then he went on and on and on with false reasons why the sky is blue.
Lisa got annoyed. "I'm going for a walk," she said, exasperated.
Homer stopped and watched her go. Then he turned to Maggie.
"Come on, Maggie. We don't need her and her smartness to have fun!" Homer said, picking her up and carrying her over to the water.
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Later that night, Homer and Marge were about to go to bed. Marge asked Homer a question.
"So, Homie, how was your time with Lisa and Maggie?" she asked. "What'd you do?"
"We went to the beach," said Homer. Then he paused for a moment. "Hey, Marge. Why's the sky blue?"
"I dunno, ask Lisa. She'll tell you," said Marge, turning over to go to sleep.
Homer let out a few chuckles, thinking about why he thought the sky was blue.
THE END
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Well, there's my first COMPLETED Simpsons fanfic! XD Review of you want some of Homer doughnuts! XD
Well, until next time...
STAY GOLD! ;D
*Lucy Elizabeth*
:D