Title: Shore Leave

Author: stella_pegasi

Rating: K +

Genres: Humor

Word Count: 997

Spoilers: None

Warnings: Minor Language

Characters: John Sheppard, Richard Woolsey, Chuck Campbell

Summary: Some Atlantis Expedition members go off-world for a couple of days leave. What could go wrong?

Disclaimer: I do not own them; I would have treated them better.

Author's Notes: Written for a last author standing challenge, (made it through this round! Whew…), this is intended for fun only. The prompt was "What the hell was I thinking?" There was also a word limit of 1000 words; I really hate 1000 word limits. Too limiting; however, it is what it is. A short little look at life on Atlantis, intended hopefully, to make you laugh, or at least chuckle…or smile, maybe…

Shore Leave

by stella_pegasi

"Woolsey, what were you thinking?"

Woolsey glanced up from his laptop to see Colonel John Sheppard striding into his office.

"You authorized leave for four people, who have never been off-world. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Calm down, colonel. Three of them are military; you always tell me your military can handle anything."

"My highly trained SO's can handle anything; these three are not highly trained. It's Sergeant Chuck Campbell, senior gate technician, Sergeant Niko Ballas, maintenance supervisor, and Sergeant Peter Price, chief baker."

"Campbell and Price are Air Force."

"Price bakes pies and corn muffins. Chuck is Canadian Air Force. What about the other one? Jeff Marks is one of McKay's geeks, he fixes laptops all day. At least, Ballas is a Marine. Look, these guys shouldn't have gone off-world without security. They don't know how to deal with what can happen out there."

"Precisely their argument, colonel, they have never been off-world. Besides, you signed their leave requests. I simply authorized their gate travel to the Pegasus Fair on Latira. They are going to Latira City, the site of Pegasus Coalition government. It's probably the most civilized place in the galaxy. They will be fine; you worry too much."

Sheppard turned to leave, tossing his last comment over his shoulder, "I sure hope you're right."

The door chime woke him with a start. Disoriented, he thought the bedside lamp on; glancing at his watch, he saw that it was 0337 hours. He opened the door to find Richard Woolsey, dressed in pajamas, his uniform pants pulled on over them.

"Richard? Wha...?"

"What the hell was I thinking, colonel?"

Sheppard swallowed, "Tell me they're OK."

"They are fine; just in, well, they are in custody."

"Custody; you mean they're in jail?"

Woolsey nodded yes.

Tapping his radio, Sheppard contacted the Officer of the Day, "Deiks, who's assigned on-call duty?" He paused, then said, "Tell them to gear-up and meet me in the gate room in fifteen minutes."

Grabbing his BDU pants, he told Woolsey gruffly, "I'll go get them."

The gate was engaged and SGA-3, Captain Stackhouse's team, was waiting when Sheppard bounded off the transporter.

Stackhouse grinned, "Been quite a while, since I've impersonated an MP, sir."

Sheppard shook his head, "I hear you, captain." Looking up at Woolsey, standing on the balcony, he yelled, "If we need bail money, we'll call."

Sheppard led the team through the event horizon. Exiting in Latira City, they discovered a government vehicle waiting to take them to the detention center where Constable Traenor greeted them.

"Colonel Sheppard, I was looking forward to meeting you. I imagine you would have preferred different circumstances."

"Yes, I definitely would have. What happen?"

"Your guys had a good time, colonel. What landed them here, wasn't exactly their fault. Some disgruntled card players started a fight in a local bar. These guys ended up caught in the melee. However, from the looks of them, they need to return to Atlantis."

"That bad?"

Traenor nodded. Sheppard sighed, "Thanks."

The four detainees were sitting in a holding cell. As Sheppard caught his first glimpse of them, he struggled to stifle a laugh. Chuck was sporting a black eye, split lip, his shirt torn nearly in half. Barras was holding an ice pack to his head, Marks appeared in shock, and Price was suffering from dry heaves.

Sheppard was silent as Chuck walked toward him. Barras attempted to get up, but was apparently too dizzy. Sheppard waved him down.

Chuck looked sheepish, "Uh, colonel, uh, yeah, well, we had a little trouble, sir."

"I see that, sergeant. Would you care to elaborate?"

"Well, we went to the fair and had a great time, sir…played games, ate, you know, fair stuff." He paused as Price was sick once again. "Then we found a place to s-stay, had dinner, then went to the b-bar across the street." He paused again, swaying slightly.

"We drank a bit, then we heard about a card game similar to p-poker going on. So Barras and I decided to play. Price was talking to some former Genii solder, and they got into a "drink until you drop' contest."

"I take it Price lost?"

"Uh, n-no sir; well, technically, he won, uh, Price started getting sick. The Genii kept drinking, then sort of passed out with his eyes open." Sheppard heard one of SG-3 team members snicker.

"What about Marks? He looks shell-shocked."

"Uh, well, uh, he started talking to this girl and well, she was from Verdna."

Sheppard sputtered, "Verdna, Marks and one of the Verdna dancing girls?"

As Chuck nodded yes, the snickers became louder. He turned, flashing his steeliest stare at Corporal Rodriquez, "You got something to say, Rodriguez?"

"No, sir, I…"

"You know about Verdna dancing girls, corporal?" From the vibrant shade of red that Rodriquez flushed, Sheppard decided there must be an interesting story behind the embarrassment. He turned back to Chuck.

"How did you and Barras get hurt?"

"A buddy of the Genii's was cheating, someone caught him. Since Price was drinking with him, they thought we were in on the scam. We were l-losing badly, the others thought it was a con. They attacked us, and w-well, I decked one of them, Barras took out two others. Then I woke up here." Chuck was turning slightly green, weaving on his feet.

Sheppard motioned to Stackhouse to assist the four to the transport. They had to carry Price, but they made it back to Atlantis. Woolsey was watching from his office as they came through the gate.

Sheppard laughed to himself. These four guys just had a night they would never forget. Woolsey had been thinking correctly; everyone should have the chance to go off-world to safe areas like Latira. But for the moment, he decided to let Woolsey continue to wonder 'what the hell he was thinking'. Meanwhile, he intended to have a chat with Rodriguez about Verdna dancing girls.

The end…

Told you it was short…hopefully, sweet, but short. Poor Chuck, I think he needs some stories of his own. Hope you enjoyed! Let me know.

Thanks for reading!