Disclaimer: Every character belongs to their respective owner.

A/N: Not much to say but this is a crackfic, nothing to take seriously. I lost a bet and I ended up with a challenge with this idea from a meme. It's crazy but it's meant to be. But I hope you enjoy it.

"Repeat that again, you want me to kill who?"

"I want you to kill Kirby!" A fat, blue, penguin-like creature who wore a royal, red robe, a round red cap with yellow rimming and a white ball at the top, bellowed at his potential employee.

"Okay, first off all, how do I know you're not bullshitting me?" The reply belonged to a burned man who wore a red and green striped sweater, brown pants and shoes; and a beat up fedora hat for his head and a razor glove, with four blades on his fingers with the exception of his thumb, on his right hand.

Both were in the burned man's usual place, a boiler room complete with the dream demon himself sitting in front of a flaming boiler complete with his own desk.

"Krueger, I'm hiring you because I heard you're the best at killing anyone. Teenagers, adults, you name it!" The fat penguin said to him.

"Alright," Freddy said, as he stood up from his chair. "I'll take care of this pink fuzz ball, whatever he is."

He took a personal assistant journal from his desk drawer and flipped through a few pages before pointing at a section on one page with his bladed index finger.

"Let's see…" The blade browsed through each line on his set of schedules until he stopped at a particular one in between the following.

9:35 – TRAUMATIC FLASHBACKS FOR HEERO YUY

10:00 - ?

10:15 – GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE SEQUEL FOR THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC

"I can take care of Kirby at 10:15 on my schedule." Freddy confirmed, closing his journal.

"Alright, we got a deal!" Both the man and creature shook hands.

An hour later….

A blur of pink struck Freddy in the chest, which sent him flying to a pile of boxes.

"Damn it!" Freddy groaned in irritation. He stood up, pushing away the empty cardboard boxes and he darted his eyes back and forth to catch his pink opponent in anticipation.

"Where are you-"

He was abruptly cut off by a punch in the face by the same blur of pink.

Freddy took one good look at his assailant now that he has revealed his true form, a simple round pink ball shaped figure with tiny arms and red feet with a face.

"You messed with the wrong guy, asshole!"

"How did you loose!" The penguin shouted, banging his fists on Krueger's desk.

Freddy remained unresponsive to the fist banging, the same look of anger had not left his face since he lost to Kirby.

"Bastard caught me off guard." Freddy gritted his teeth.

"Well, you're not good to me now!" The penguin creature shouted in anger as he stood and began to leave. "I'll just contact Rouge the Bat, she'll do the job right!"

As he left, the dream demon breathed heavily. Fury was building up inside of him; he had lost to a pink ball with a face. Logically, Freddy should have won due to exploiting the fear of his victims. But none of the less, Kirby had gotten the best him and won. As hate grew inside of him, he had to take it on something.

Middleton

A red headed teenage girl, 17 years of age, strolled along her new surroundings. One moment she slept in her bed, in her own room but then at the next moment, she felt sweat pouring down her face and found herself in some sort of boiler room. She stopped in her tracks, her gut instinct informing her of a possible sneak attack. Where was the new assailant going to strike?

A red and green blur tackled her fast and the girl's face was soon bashed into a wall as soon as the blur revealed itself to be Freddy Krueger himself. He bashed her head in fury, the frustration after loosing to Kirby. He pictured her as the round pink combatant, which angered him more than he already was. The girl's eyesight turned to fog, while she had physical problems with her eyes, Freddy on the other seethed through his teeth. He still had problems with his former opponent.

He then dragged her against her own will, battered and beaten, the girl was somehow restrained despite that she had been in worse situations and won. Finally, the dream demon grabbed a knob on a metal door and it slid open.

"Get in there!" He shouted.

He threw her into some sort of chamber with her pajama pants torn off by accident. He threw it aside and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

Pixel Palace

"Another shot, please!"

The voice belonged to a portly fellow with red hair dressed in a tuxedo, wearing a top hat and a monocle in his eye and his most notable feature was a long beak like nose. He was speaking to Freddy whilst both drunk.

"Now," A drunken Freddy began. "This is how you should work; find a kid that's thrice your age, younger than you. Stalk her if you want!"

"Uh-huh." The red haired man chorused.

"And then, kill her." Freddy suggested before he rambled on. "And then, find a teenage girl like seventeen of her age, seventeen and blow her brains out!"

He laughed at the last part he said, as the portly fellow laughed along with his apparent new friend.

"And," he continued on, "If you come across a dude, take a knife and slash it across his chest! If he screams, he's begging for more!"

The child killer laughed heartily, drunk out of his mind. Him and the portly fellow laughed as the rest of the customers of the bar simply ignored them, dismissing their drunken antics.

"You know what?" The redhead portly man drunkenly declared. "I'm gonna try those out right now, thanks!"

He left, shaking Freddy's bare left hand but as he left the bar, the dream demon looked depressed.

"Wait, don't go!" Freddy begged, with his arms open. "Come back buddy! Don't leave me!"

He slumped onto the bar counter and sighed in depression, with his arms crossed, covering his face.

"Oy, what's the problem Krueger?" A man behind the counter asked with a British accent.

"My problem?" The dream demon lifted his head, staring right at a bearded man with a white shirt and black vest, the bartender of the Pixel Palace.

"Yes." The bartender replied before he added, "You know, I never thought you'd come to this place."

"My first time Dominick," Freddy replied as he held the tiny glass wrapped around his razor gloved hand. "I lost it… I lost my edge. I've been killing big time since the 80's and I lost to Kirby of all things, who's been messing with my mojo?"

The glass broke when the slasher villain shouted at the last word leaving Dominick annoyed.

"You have to pay for that-" Dominick said before being cut off.

"I know, I know." Freddy said without any care, "Put it on my tab."

"Oy, Link's back. Better go see what's wrong." The bartender walked away to attend to a possible problem leaving the child molester.

"Fine, go, leave!" He then slumped his head onto the counter, drooling.

"Stupid British bartender!" The child killer slurred his words.

Not too long after, another customer jumped onto the bar stool next to the child killer but this new consumer was not human. The most notable features being a long brown hat with the tip hanging loose, a blue coat, white cufflinks with red outlines, green and white striped pants, red gloves and red shoes. Other notable features were the yellow eyes and the completely dark face.

Other than that, Freddy didn't even bother looking up.

"Aren't you a bit young to be here?" Freddy said with his voice muffed by his arms.

"I use a fake ID then again I'm a mage," The young mage replied before he introduced himself. "I'm Vivi."

He offered his hand to shake with his new companion but again, the child killer did not bother to look up nor did he bother to shake the mage's hand.

"What's wrong?" Vivi asked.

"Why do you care?" Freddy mumbled.

"I'm just curious."

"Well if must you know," Freddy lifted his head facing the mage. "I was the greatest, people feared me and were afraid to sleep, and then this pink fuckball named Kirby came and kicked my ass. Suddenly, I lost mojo, I lost my edge! What have I been doing in my life?"

"Well, first off," Vivi began to explain. "Drinking's not going to solve anything. Second, you can't really give up what you've been doing over one incident. Your mojo is just your personality and no one can't really take it away unless you change it and make it disappear yourself. You are your own person, no one can take away who you are."

Freddy stared blankly at the mage with no emotion, the words entered his ears but his brain was having trouble processing but suddenly, he experienced an epiphany.

"You're right…" Freddy said. "I'm Freddy fucking Krueger! What am' I doing whiny about my problems?"

He stood up and crouched on the stool with his own feet, surprisingly keeping a good balance, all while facing Vivi.

"I've killed dozens, I know what people are afraid of, exploit their strengths and weaknesses! So what a pink thing kicked my ass? I come back, I always come back! I can kill again!"

"Wait, kill? Wait a second, I-" Vivi's protests were abruptly cut off when the child killer pulled him up by his collar. Krueger stood up on the stool, still keeping a good balance.

"Thank you, dude!" Freddy said to the mage before plunging his razor glove into his chest killing him.

This did not went unnoticed by the other customers and the bartender himself, the music abruptly halted and they turned their heads to face the pedophilic child murderer caught in the act.

"Yeah that's right," Freddy tossed aside Vivi noticing the crowd's eyes on him. "I'm the bad guy!"

He leaped off the bar stool and landed in front of a couple, aged around their 20's; a male with brown hair, a green t-shirt, jeans and sneakers and a blue haired girl with colored tops, a Merge Records shirt, sport hoodies, roller derby-esque running shorts, knee socks, short-shorts, and blue canvas sneakers.

He jumped right in front of them shouting, "You may kiss the bride!" And head butted the together knocking them down. He laughed with glee and went straight for a pigtailed boy wearing a red Chinese shirt, black pants and shoes. He went to his table, grabbed his face by his cheeks.

"Want to go gay?" Freddy mockingly asked before he pressed his lips against his for a good five seconds and shoved him down.

He then turned around to slice a bum's neck open who was just asking for change. Freddy cackled with excitement, he had the energy and enthusiasm to kill again. He danced around the bar with glee with his arms in the air, triumphant. Just as he was near the doors, he shouted,

"I'm back! And I'm badder than ever!"

With that, he kicked the doors opened and went into the night.

Marzipan City

In the boiler room, Freddy grabbed a pair of long hairs that belonged to a young pink female anthropomorphic rabbit. He stared at the rabbit in front of him as her eyes stared at him fear of the burned flesh. He grabbed her neck just as he sliced her eyes off.

"Tick-Tac-Toe!" He sliced his finger blades across her face before he poked through her eyes. He promptly dropped her lifeless body into the ground. He smiled in satisfaction.

"I'm back!" Freddy said. "Your ass is mine, Kirby."

Later, a high pitched scream and evil laughter were heard, along with the screams of an obnoxious fat penguin-like creature. The last thing written on the walls with blood said,

I KILLED KIRBY

A/N: Yeah, I did use this challenge as an excuse to glorify Freddy since he's cool in my book. But again, hope you enjoyed what you read and forgive me if there are any grammar or spelling mistakes.