Ah! My Lumbago!
(Never eat too many Twinkies)
'The Soul Purpose of Pokemon'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
As our story begins, Ash Ketchum and his friends Brock and Misty were walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking to another Johto town which they won't get to for a couple of episodes. Meanwhile, Delia Ketchum was working with Mimey in her garden again. "Oh Mimey. I've been feeling so down lately!" She said. "Mime?" "Yes. It's because of Ash being gone all the time. I don't how I can deal with it any longer!" "Mime Mime." "Hmmm. Maybe you're right. I'll go and visit Professor Oak."
Oh no! Delia is going to visit Professor Oak! The pokemon researcher that has a secret crush on her! Nooooooooooo!
"Oh! Mrs. Ketchum!" Tracy said as he opened the door. "Hello Tracy, is Professor Oak here?" she asked. "Yes. I'll take you to him because I'm gay." He said and led her around the house to the lab. Ever since Tracy got his chance to work with Professor Oak, he had been freely expressing his gay-ness. "Delia! How pleasant to see you!" Professor Oak said, deliberately dropping whatever he was doing to welcome her into the lab. "Would you like a cup of tea?" he asked, as he helped her into a chair. "Yes, thank you." She said. "I'll get it Professor!" Tracy said and ran off. "So.. Um.. What brings you here?" Oak asked, going red and pretending to be checking the status of the Magicarp in the tank next to his desk. "Oh, I was feeling lonely again. It's been so hard with Ash gone all the time. All I do is work in my garden." "Well, you DO have lovely Tomatoes." Professor Oak said. "What do you mean? I don't have any tomatoes yet! They haven't grown!" "Er..." Professor Oak said, taking his eyes off her chest. "Silly me." "I'm back!" said Tracy and handed the tea to Professor Oak who handed the tea to Delia. "Thank you. I don't know how you can stand having Gary leave." "Well, he can take care of himself." "All Ash cares about is becoming a Pokemon Master." "Well. If it makes you feel better, I do consider myself a Master of Masterba-" "Oh! I almost forgot! I have to go shopping today! Thank you for the Tea, Professor, but I have to go." And with that, she left the lab. Professor Oak groaned and began to bang his head against the wall. "Women are always hard to get. That's why I decided to go for the guys." Tracy said, beginning to rub Professor Oak's back in a loving way. "Have you fed the rock pokemon yet?" Oak asked, siding away from Tracy. "Yes." "Well.. Do it again." He said. "Your wish is my command." Said Tracy.
***************
When Delia got back from shopping, she and Mimey began to make dinner. "I think I'll give a call to Ash." She said as she let the puttenesca sauce and the lasagna cool down. She dialed the phone.
"Mom?" Ash said as he picked up his cell phone. "Hello Honey." Mrs. Ketchum said. "What's wrong Mom?" Ash asked. "Oh nothing. I was just waiting for dinner to cool so I decided to call you. Where are you now?" "We're staying at the Pokemon Center." "Assssh!!!!" Whined Misty in the background. "Come to bed with me!!!" "Just a second!" Ash said. "Well, I have to go." He said to his mom. "Who was that in the background?" "Uh. Just. It was. Pikachu! Yeah, Pikachu." "Oh. Okay dear. Bye bye now!" Mrs. Ketchum hung up the phone.
**************
"ASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Misty yelled. "I'm coming! I'm coming!" Ash said, running into their bedroom at the Pokemon center. "What?" "Pikachu's humping my leg!" Misty wailed. "Pikachu! No! Bad pokemon!" Ash said, trying to pull Pikachu off of Misty's leg. "Pika Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" he wailed. "Let. Go. NOW!!!!!!" Ash yelled through clenched teeth.
Outside:
"James! You're standing on my foot!" Jessie yelled. "Sorry Jessie." Said James. "Shut up you guys. If I get this window open they'll hear you!" Meowth said. "Well." Huffed Jessie. "You wouldn't have to be worried about us being loud if we weren't having to catch Pikachu because you refuse to fulfill your purpose as a hump buddie." "It's not my fault you're the ones that are in need of a hump buddie." Meowth muttered under his breath. "You're the one who has the soul purpose to be a hump buddie. That's the soul purpose of every Pokemon." James said. Meowth ignored him as he inched the pokemon center window open. "What the---" Meowth said. "What?" asked Jessie and James. "The twerps Pikachu is humping the twerp's girlfriend's leg." "Yuck! Can't she get her own hump buddie? Geez!" James said. "You should talk." Meowth told him. The human Team Rocket members shut up.
Inside:
"Maybe we should get Nurse Joy to help us." Misty said, trying to wrench Pikachu free of her leg. The yellow Pokemon was beginning to drool on it. "Good idea." Ash let out his Pokemon. "You guys try to help Misty get Pikachu off her while I run to get Nurse Joy." "Bulba!" "Chika!" "Cyndaquil!" "Totodile!" "Hooot Hoot!" So Ash ran out of the room and went to find Nurse Joy. It wasn't hard to find her. Her and Brock were making out behind the Pokemon Center lobby counter. "Nurse Joy!" Ash said. "I need your help! Pikachu won't stop humping Misty's leg and we need you to get him off." "All right." Nurse Joy said, straightening her apron. "Ash!!!!!!!!" wailed Brock. "You ruined my fun!" "Sorry." Ash said as he and Brock followed Nurse Joy down to their room. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Misty screamed. The three broke into a run and ran into the room. "Oh my!" Nurse Joy said. All of Ash's male pokemon had begun to hump Misty. Chikorita ran straight towards Ash and began to hump his leg. "Aw man!" he said. "Somebody help!" Misty screamed, kicking her legs and sending Pikachu and Cyndaquil soaring through the air. "I have the perfect remedy!" Nurse Joy said. She left the room and returned with a tranquilizer gun. She shot all the Pokemon surrounding Misty and they all fell to the floor in a deep slumber. "We've been having numerous accounts of this strange Pokemon behavior lately. We don't know what is forcing the Pokemon to do it. Maybe you should talk to Professor Oak and see if he can do some research." Nurse Joy told the Pokemon Trainers. She left the room with Brock following her out. "I'm going to bed. That was the scariest thing I've ever experienced in my entire life." Misty said. She threw the covers over her and quickly dozed off. "Can someone please help me!???!!!???" Ash wailed, Chikorita still stuck to his leg.
******************
The next day, Delia was feeling lonely again. "Maybe I should visit Professor Oak again." She said to herself. So she told Mimey to mop the kitchen and scrub the toilet and left the house. "Hello, Mrs. Ketchum. Are you feeling lonely again?" "Yes, Tracy. Is the Professor here?" "Yes. I will take you to him because I'm gay." Tracy said his usual line and took Mrs. Ketchum to the lab. "Hello Professor Oak." Delia said. "Ack! Delia! I mean, Mrs. Oak! I mean, Mrs. Ketchum!" Professor Oak said, spilling his coffee on his pants. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Hot! Hot! HOT!!!!" the Professor yelled, hopping up and down. "Oh! Here! Let me help!" Mrs. Ketchum said, grabbing a lab coat hanging over the back of a chair and pressed it against Professor Oak's pants. "Thank you." Professor Oak said, going as red as.. Well, going red. "You're welcome." Suddenly the video phone rang. "I'll get that." Mrs. Ketchum said. She picked up the radio phone. "Hey Professor Oak. Mom?" Said Ash on the other line. "Hi Honey!" "What are you doing at Professor Oak's mom?" "Visiting." "Oh. Well, can I talk to him?" "Hold on. We had a little accident." "Accident? Is everyone okay?" Ash asked. "I'm okay, because I'm gay!" Tracy said, waving to Ash over Mrs. Ketchum's shoulder. "Oh. Hi." Ash said. "Is the Professor okay mom?" "See for yourself!" Mrs. Ketchum said turning the video phone so Ash could see Professor Oak and his stained pants, which were wet in a very inconvenient area. "Mom!!!!!!!! What did you do?" Ash said, horrified. "Nothing. It was the Professor's fault that the spill happened, but he's okay." Ash was silent, not wanting to know what kind of 'spill' happened. "Professor Oak? Can you talk to Ash?" "Ash? Oh sure." Professor Oak hobbled over to the video phone with the lab coat placed around his waist. "What is it Ash. Did you catch another Pokemon?" "No. But last night, Pikachu started humping Misty's leg and then I got out my other pokemon to help her get Pikachu off while I went to get Nurse Joy, and the rest joined in!" "Hmmm. Odd behavior. What did Nurse Joy do?" "Well, she shot the Pokemon with tranquilizers and they fell off Misty. But." "But what?" asked Professor Oak. "She ran out of darts." Ash said, holding up his leg with his free hand, showing Chikorita still stuck to his leg, cooing with delight. "I see.." "Nurse Joy asked me if you could do some research." "Well, I'm afraid in order to do research with your Pokemon, you'll have to come to my lab. "Come to the lab? But we're too far away! It'll take months!!!!!!!!!" Ash said. "You're right. Well, after you finish getting your badges at the Johto gyms, which will take a good 3 to 4 months considering the airing dates of the new Johto League Champions episodes, I'll come and meet you at the Indigo Plateau for the Johto League Finals. Then you and your friends can come to my lab and I'll examine your Pokemon then." "But that's too long. Usually we're always broke so we can't rent bikes or take taxi's or buses so we have to walk." "Hmmm. How about you send Pikachu to me overnight and I'll have him back by tomorrow and you can get your butts moving." "All right." Ash said, sighing. "So let me get this straight. You get Pikachu for one day, get the info you need, and send him back." "Right." "And then me, Misty, and Brock go to the rest of the Johto Gyms, and then head back to Indigo Plateau for the Johto League." "Right again." "Then we go to the lab and you will do the rest of the research." "You got it. That gives us. about 9 months." "That's a long time." "Well you always find excuses to stop your traveling for a day or two." Professor Oak said, sounding annoyed. "Yeah.. Well. Okay then. I'll send Pikachu to you tonight. Bye! "Bye honey!" Mrs. Ketchum said, leaning over Professor Oak's shoulder to waved good-bye to her son. Professor Oak went very red.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'What up with Pikachu, Yo?'
'The Soul Purpose of Pokemon'
By Lauren (RowlingIdol) and Nicole C.
As our story begins, Ash Ketchum and his friends Brock and Misty were walking and walking and walking and walking and walking and walking to another Johto town which they won't get to for a couple of episodes. Meanwhile, Delia Ketchum was working with Mimey in her garden again. "Oh Mimey. I've been feeling so down lately!" She said. "Mime?" "Yes. It's because of Ash being gone all the time. I don't how I can deal with it any longer!" "Mime Mime." "Hmmm. Maybe you're right. I'll go and visit Professor Oak."
Oh no! Delia is going to visit Professor Oak! The pokemon researcher that has a secret crush on her! Nooooooooooo!
"Oh! Mrs. Ketchum!" Tracy said as he opened the door. "Hello Tracy, is Professor Oak here?" she asked. "Yes. I'll take you to him because I'm gay." He said and led her around the house to the lab. Ever since Tracy got his chance to work with Professor Oak, he had been freely expressing his gay-ness. "Delia! How pleasant to see you!" Professor Oak said, deliberately dropping whatever he was doing to welcome her into the lab. "Would you like a cup of tea?" he asked, as he helped her into a chair. "Yes, thank you." She said. "I'll get it Professor!" Tracy said and ran off. "So.. Um.. What brings you here?" Oak asked, going red and pretending to be checking the status of the Magicarp in the tank next to his desk. "Oh, I was feeling lonely again. It's been so hard with Ash gone all the time. All I do is work in my garden." "Well, you DO have lovely Tomatoes." Professor Oak said. "What do you mean? I don't have any tomatoes yet! They haven't grown!" "Er..." Professor Oak said, taking his eyes off her chest. "Silly me." "I'm back!" said Tracy and handed the tea to Professor Oak who handed the tea to Delia. "Thank you. I don't know how you can stand having Gary leave." "Well, he can take care of himself." "All Ash cares about is becoming a Pokemon Master." "Well. If it makes you feel better, I do consider myself a Master of Masterba-" "Oh! I almost forgot! I have to go shopping today! Thank you for the Tea, Professor, but I have to go." And with that, she left the lab. Professor Oak groaned and began to bang his head against the wall. "Women are always hard to get. That's why I decided to go for the guys." Tracy said, beginning to rub Professor Oak's back in a loving way. "Have you fed the rock pokemon yet?" Oak asked, siding away from Tracy. "Yes." "Well.. Do it again." He said. "Your wish is my command." Said Tracy.
***************
When Delia got back from shopping, she and Mimey began to make dinner. "I think I'll give a call to Ash." She said as she let the puttenesca sauce and the lasagna cool down. She dialed the phone.
"Mom?" Ash said as he picked up his cell phone. "Hello Honey." Mrs. Ketchum said. "What's wrong Mom?" Ash asked. "Oh nothing. I was just waiting for dinner to cool so I decided to call you. Where are you now?" "We're staying at the Pokemon Center." "Assssh!!!!" Whined Misty in the background. "Come to bed with me!!!" "Just a second!" Ash said. "Well, I have to go." He said to his mom. "Who was that in the background?" "Uh. Just. It was. Pikachu! Yeah, Pikachu." "Oh. Okay dear. Bye bye now!" Mrs. Ketchum hung up the phone.
**************
"ASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Misty yelled. "I'm coming! I'm coming!" Ash said, running into their bedroom at the Pokemon center. "What?" "Pikachu's humping my leg!" Misty wailed. "Pikachu! No! Bad pokemon!" Ash said, trying to pull Pikachu off of Misty's leg. "Pika Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" he wailed. "Let. Go. NOW!!!!!!" Ash yelled through clenched teeth.
Outside:
"James! You're standing on my foot!" Jessie yelled. "Sorry Jessie." Said James. "Shut up you guys. If I get this window open they'll hear you!" Meowth said. "Well." Huffed Jessie. "You wouldn't have to be worried about us being loud if we weren't having to catch Pikachu because you refuse to fulfill your purpose as a hump buddie." "It's not my fault you're the ones that are in need of a hump buddie." Meowth muttered under his breath. "You're the one who has the soul purpose to be a hump buddie. That's the soul purpose of every Pokemon." James said. Meowth ignored him as he inched the pokemon center window open. "What the---" Meowth said. "What?" asked Jessie and James. "The twerps Pikachu is humping the twerp's girlfriend's leg." "Yuck! Can't she get her own hump buddie? Geez!" James said. "You should talk." Meowth told him. The human Team Rocket members shut up.
Inside:
"Maybe we should get Nurse Joy to help us." Misty said, trying to wrench Pikachu free of her leg. The yellow Pokemon was beginning to drool on it. "Good idea." Ash let out his Pokemon. "You guys try to help Misty get Pikachu off her while I run to get Nurse Joy." "Bulba!" "Chika!" "Cyndaquil!" "Totodile!" "Hooot Hoot!" So Ash ran out of the room and went to find Nurse Joy. It wasn't hard to find her. Her and Brock were making out behind the Pokemon Center lobby counter. "Nurse Joy!" Ash said. "I need your help! Pikachu won't stop humping Misty's leg and we need you to get him off." "All right." Nurse Joy said, straightening her apron. "Ash!!!!!!!!" wailed Brock. "You ruined my fun!" "Sorry." Ash said as he and Brock followed Nurse Joy down to their room. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Misty screamed. The three broke into a run and ran into the room. "Oh my!" Nurse Joy said. All of Ash's male pokemon had begun to hump Misty. Chikorita ran straight towards Ash and began to hump his leg. "Aw man!" he said. "Somebody help!" Misty screamed, kicking her legs and sending Pikachu and Cyndaquil soaring through the air. "I have the perfect remedy!" Nurse Joy said. She left the room and returned with a tranquilizer gun. She shot all the Pokemon surrounding Misty and they all fell to the floor in a deep slumber. "We've been having numerous accounts of this strange Pokemon behavior lately. We don't know what is forcing the Pokemon to do it. Maybe you should talk to Professor Oak and see if he can do some research." Nurse Joy told the Pokemon Trainers. She left the room with Brock following her out. "I'm going to bed. That was the scariest thing I've ever experienced in my entire life." Misty said. She threw the covers over her and quickly dozed off. "Can someone please help me!???!!!???" Ash wailed, Chikorita still stuck to his leg.
******************
The next day, Delia was feeling lonely again. "Maybe I should visit Professor Oak again." She said to herself. So she told Mimey to mop the kitchen and scrub the toilet and left the house. "Hello, Mrs. Ketchum. Are you feeling lonely again?" "Yes, Tracy. Is the Professor here?" "Yes. I will take you to him because I'm gay." Tracy said his usual line and took Mrs. Ketchum to the lab. "Hello Professor Oak." Delia said. "Ack! Delia! I mean, Mrs. Oak! I mean, Mrs. Ketchum!" Professor Oak said, spilling his coffee on his pants. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Hot! Hot! HOT!!!!" the Professor yelled, hopping up and down. "Oh! Here! Let me help!" Mrs. Ketchum said, grabbing a lab coat hanging over the back of a chair and pressed it against Professor Oak's pants. "Thank you." Professor Oak said, going as red as.. Well, going red. "You're welcome." Suddenly the video phone rang. "I'll get that." Mrs. Ketchum said. She picked up the radio phone. "Hey Professor Oak. Mom?" Said Ash on the other line. "Hi Honey!" "What are you doing at Professor Oak's mom?" "Visiting." "Oh. Well, can I talk to him?" "Hold on. We had a little accident." "Accident? Is everyone okay?" Ash asked. "I'm okay, because I'm gay!" Tracy said, waving to Ash over Mrs. Ketchum's shoulder. "Oh. Hi." Ash said. "Is the Professor okay mom?" "See for yourself!" Mrs. Ketchum said turning the video phone so Ash could see Professor Oak and his stained pants, which were wet in a very inconvenient area. "Mom!!!!!!!! What did you do?" Ash said, horrified. "Nothing. It was the Professor's fault that the spill happened, but he's okay." Ash was silent, not wanting to know what kind of 'spill' happened. "Professor Oak? Can you talk to Ash?" "Ash? Oh sure." Professor Oak hobbled over to the video phone with the lab coat placed around his waist. "What is it Ash. Did you catch another Pokemon?" "No. But last night, Pikachu started humping Misty's leg and then I got out my other pokemon to help her get Pikachu off while I went to get Nurse Joy, and the rest joined in!" "Hmmm. Odd behavior. What did Nurse Joy do?" "Well, she shot the Pokemon with tranquilizers and they fell off Misty. But." "But what?" asked Professor Oak. "She ran out of darts." Ash said, holding up his leg with his free hand, showing Chikorita still stuck to his leg, cooing with delight. "I see.." "Nurse Joy asked me if you could do some research." "Well, I'm afraid in order to do research with your Pokemon, you'll have to come to my lab. "Come to the lab? But we're too far away! It'll take months!!!!!!!!!" Ash said. "You're right. Well, after you finish getting your badges at the Johto gyms, which will take a good 3 to 4 months considering the airing dates of the new Johto League Champions episodes, I'll come and meet you at the Indigo Plateau for the Johto League Finals. Then you and your friends can come to my lab and I'll examine your Pokemon then." "But that's too long. Usually we're always broke so we can't rent bikes or take taxi's or buses so we have to walk." "Hmmm. How about you send Pikachu to me overnight and I'll have him back by tomorrow and you can get your butts moving." "All right." Ash said, sighing. "So let me get this straight. You get Pikachu for one day, get the info you need, and send him back." "Right." "And then me, Misty, and Brock go to the rest of the Johto Gyms, and then head back to Indigo Plateau for the Johto League." "Right again." "Then we go to the lab and you will do the rest of the research." "You got it. That gives us. about 9 months." "That's a long time." "Well you always find excuses to stop your traveling for a day or two." Professor Oak said, sounding annoyed. "Yeah.. Well. Okay then. I'll send Pikachu to you tonight. Bye! "Bye honey!" Mrs. Ketchum said, leaning over Professor Oak's shoulder to waved good-bye to her son. Professor Oak went very red.
To Be Continued in the thrilling conclusion to 'Ah! My Lumbago!'
'What up with Pikachu, Yo?'