One could only take some much of a certain thing. Like a song on repeat you can only listen to it so many times before you finally change it. A daily routine that you finally get sick of and change. To Yamamoto that wasn't baseball, or the sushi his dad made everyday before he returned from practice. It was something he had dealt with the day he met the short half Italian boy that was Hayato Gokudera.
Gokudera's comments never really bothered him, no, he saw them as the teens way of affection. There relationship formed before the incident with Chikusa, they grew closer waiting for Tsuna after school, and the times they walked home together. It was Gokudera who actually made the first move.
Yamamoto wasn't sure what he was doing at the time but when pale arms wrapped around him saying the confession quickly and sharply. But at that moment he knew he loved him. They kept it from Tsuna as much as possible meeting secretly on weekends, and so on.
Tsuna had found out after Gokudera almost died. Yamamoto was lost sitting on the roof of the school, not wanting to hear if Gokudera didn't pull though. The wounds were bad and laced with poison. He knew it was a slim chance that his boyfriend would pull though. Tsuna found him on the roof, Yamamoto thought he knew nothing of there relationship, Gokudera made sure of that with the calls of 'Idiot' and other words.
He was wrong. Tsuna was smarter then a lot of people seem to credit him for. He saw some of the signs and had his suspicious and that day confirmed it.
Gokudera had pulled though they defeated Mukuro and life returned as if almost nothing happened. Gokudera knew his boss knew about the two of them, he still felt the need to call him 'idiot' 'bastard' and what not. Yamamoto brushed it off with his smiles and laughs, which just annoyed Gokudera even more.
Yamamoto always took those words as affection, but deep down he finally began to wounder. Maybe they weren't suppose to be? Maybe it was a hint that Gokudera couldn't admit he wasn't sure himself. He knew he loved the teen. Though all the names, and the yelling, all on Gokuderas part.
Yet he couldn't help but wounder. It scared him. It was a day like all the others the two of them sitting on the roof, Gokudera was smoking looking out though the fence onto the small town.
"Hey baseball idiot" Gokudera waved the hand not holding the stick. "You ok in there?" Yamamoto shook his head finally ready to voice his mind.
"Yamamoto" He said. Gokudera looked at him confused.
"Have you gone insane or something?"
"My name is Takeshi, or Yamaoto not Idoit or baseball idoit...why don't you ever use it?"
Gokudera froze the cigarette on his lips. He looked down eyes on his shoes.
"Nothing? So you have no reason!" He snapped and Gokudera drooped the cigarette, stepping back slightly. Yamamoto yelling, in anger, wasn't what he was used to. "Urgh! We've been together for almost a year Gokudera! We've been though so much and were not even on a first name bases your not even on a name bases!" He yelled finally venting.
"Why dose it matter?!" Gokudera finally yelled
"Why dose it matter? Why dose it matter?! Gokudera I love you! I always have I tell you all the time, all I get from you is 'Idiot' or 'stupid bastard'! Dose our relationship mean nothing?!"
"It means something!" Gokudera yelled
"Then why don't you show it?! For once show you care! Show you actually feel something!"
"I'm not emotionless!" Gokudera's face was flushed slightly from anger. His hand griped into a fist against his chest.
"Then act like it! All you do is show affection for Tsuna, and thats not even affection thats just weird sometimes!"
"Why is this all coming up now?!" Gokudera yelled back.
Yamamoto stopped breathing deeply.
"Because, I think.....we should break up..."
"But you just said....you loved-" Gokudera whispered panicked. Yamamoto turned away from him looking down.
"But you didn't, and you never will, not until you grow up, one of us has to do it, and you never will..." He began to walk away "I'm sorry....Hayato......." He whispered the door closing behind him with a loud bang.
Gokudera dropped to his knees, covering his mouth with his hand he sobbed. His fingers scratched against the concrete roof into a fist. His shoulders shook with each sob, he wasn't going to stop this time, he couldn't cover up that didn't effect him.
Because he loved Yamamoto to....and he ruined it all. He destroyed Yamamotos love for him, he became that song on repeat. Yamamoto was finally changing him, by breaking up with him getting rid of the thing that bothered him. The one thing that finally made him feel wanted, like he belonged somewhere for once. He wasn't a mistake, one of the few people in his life to show him love. He lost it and he lost the last part of himself that would ever be happy.
He felt the wind shift. Which meant Hibari, who remained silent. Gokudera didn't stop crying, it felt to him he never would. He didn't care someone knew, nothing really matter to him anymore. He lost, the love of his life.
XSXSXSXSX(WOOTXANXUSSQUALOOMFG)XSXSXSXSXSXSXS
Tsuna noticed something was wrong instantly the next day. The first thing was Yamamoto, Gokudera, and Bianchi were all no where to be seen in the mourning. Tsuna walked to the school, Reborn on his shoulder, hoping they were just running late. No show. He entered the school he saw the faces on some of the students a lot looked worried. Nothing happened, right? If one of them were hurt he would of heard...right?
He saw a group of girls pointing over to the benches. Black spikes, Tsuna recognized instantly. Yamamoto...so he was fine where was Gokudera. Before he could go over to ask the bell rang.
"Hey Reborn..." Tsuna started "Something feels wrong...." The boy muttered sure of the feeling.
Yamamoto brushed past him saying nothing, there was no smile just an empty face. Tsuna wished to say something but the teacher came in. When Gokudera's seat next to his remained empty all the class. Tsuna knew something was wrong.
Each time Tsuna got close Yamaoto avoided him, his questions, anything. Three days, still no Gokudera, Yamamoto was still not talking. Tsuna heard that he wasn't going to baseball practice, and that worried him even more.
He also noticed Bianchi failed to make an appearance the past three days. Something was wrong. The fourth day came and Tsuna had enough.
He saw Yamamoto go up to the roof and followed him, Reborn had left and he knew he could trap the teen, forcing him to tell. Opening the door carefully he saw Yamamoto back to the door facing the city. Tsuna moved taping his shoulder. Yamamoto spun around.
"...Oh hi Tsuna" He muttered avoiding the orange/brown eyes.
"Yamamoto, whats wrong with you and Gokudera?" Tsuna asked looking up at Yamamoto.
"Its nothing Tsuna" He muttered going to leave, Tsuna reached out fingers wrapping tightly around the silky black fabric of his long sleeve shirt.
"Don't say that! Gokudera hasn't been here for three days! You told me you loved him....what happened?!" Tsuna yelled. Yamamoto looked away he swiftly pulled his sleeve out of Tsuna's grasp.
"Its none of you business Tsuna, and it wont ever be" He stormed away "Stupid silver haired bastard wont even face me..." And the door slammed shut. Tsuna fell back, covering his face with his hand sighing. That plan was a complete failure, he just made Yamamoto even more mad. He felt the wind shift and froze. Now wasn't the time.
"Hm....the silver haired one was up here four days ago" Tsuna turned looking up to Hibari. "They were fighting, baseball kid stormed off and your friend broke down. He didn't leave until his sister dragged him off the roof." Hibari said looking down at Tsuna.
"Why...why are you telling me this?" Tsuna finally stuttered out as Hibari began to leave also. Hibari turned to him wind blowing the black hair and jacket up revealing the silver tonfas, flower petals swished by.
"Cloud and storm....go together right?" And he was gone. Tsuna smiled softly. Hibari may act as though he hated all of them but these moments proved other wise. Getting up, Tsuna brushed the dirt from his pants, he went back to class not wanting to get in trouble. He sat not paying attention the whole class. He was worried now about his friends. Four days....Yamamoto seemed to think Gokudera was just mad or something. According to Hibari, Gokudera wasn't even functioning.
The bell rang, finally. Ignoring Yamamoto for once he rushed out. Stopping in front of the nurses room.
"" He knocked. No answer. Knocking again. "!" The door flung open.
"Oh its you...Listen kid I do-"
"Somethings wrong with Gokudera, I need your help I don't know where he lives" Tsuna rushed out before Shamal could finish.
"He sick or something?" Shamal muttered, leaning against the door frame.
"Him and Yamamoto broke up...he hasn't been to school the past four days..." Tsuna said looking to the floor. Shamal looked at him then shrugged.
"Here, let me write it down, I'll give you a key to. Knowing him he most likely is in his bedroom, he wont hear you" Shamal disappeared for a moment then came out handing Tsuna a piece of paper and a small key.
"Thank you !" He turned to leave.
"Hey kid" Tsuna turned. "...take care of him for me ok?" Tsuna smiled sadly nodding softly before taking off. Shamal sighed running his fingers though his hair.
"One day ill quit this god forsaken job." He muttered to himself smiling as two girls walked by. "Or not."
D18D18D18D18D18(No there is not a point)D18D18D18D59D18D18D18
Tsuna ran to the given address, his bag still on his shoulder. Stopping he looked up it was a small house, somewhat old. There were no lights on no sounds coming from the house. Taking a deep breath he walked up carefully unlocking the door he set his bag and removed his shoes.
It was complex a lower and upper half, doors all around. He wasn't sure to which Gokudera was behind. He ruled the second story out by looking at the stairs, dirt and dust gathered on them, no one had gone up there since the house had been moved into. The kitchen was to the left so he moved to the right. Opening the first door he found an room with the walls covered in drawings. Blinking to looked more closely. Prototype dynamite? Gokudera was working on different types of dynamite....Shaking his head he closed the door. The next one was empty except a window. He moved to the next one, a bathroom.
The final door had a small ray of light coming from it, smiling he opened it slower.
"Goku..." The name died on his lips seeing Gokudera asleep in the bed. His face had the dry remains of tears and his pillow still wet. Tsuna looked down, he wasn't avoiding Yamamoto, he was trying to recover. Looking around the room he saw a vase of roses. Each older then the other all the way to one completely and utterly beyond dead, almost....a year old. They were most likely from Yamamoto. Pictures of the three of them littered a bulletin board next to the roses. There was a small electric key board on a stand against the wall music lyrics littered the area around it. There was a small bookshelf, books in Italian, Japanese, and English varying in size and thickness. A small desk next to it another bulletin board above it. This time photos of Yamamoto and Gokudera were all over it. Some seemed the two had no idea photos were being taken, others they were smiling. A Necklace, bracelet, and key were also tacked to the board. Then the drawings. Tsuna was amazed by them, some of him, some of his sister, then a lot of Yamamoto. They looked so delicate and drawn with time like each drawing took Gokudera years when in reality it could be hours. Tsuna smiled sadly, he really didn't know much about Gokudera. Looking over to his friend he saw the plate of uneaten food with a note in Italian. Walking over to Gokudera, he kneeled shaking his friend gently. Gokudera's green eyes opened slowly after a minute.
"Ju-Juudime?" He whispered, his voice was hoarse eyes bloodshot. Tsuna felt horrible, Gokudera was here for four days alone.
"Hey Gokudera..." He muttered "Shamal told me where I could find you..." Gokudera pushed himself up from the bed leaning against the wall.
"I take it you know...?" He whispered looking out the window. Tsuna looked at his arms he carefully took a chance placing his hand on Gokudera's.
"I know a little no the whole story...." Gokudera leaned back more closing his eyes.
"We broke up.....I take it you know that....He said he loved me, but I would never love him back......I....all the times I called him idiot and bastard...finally showed him I didn't love him..." He choked out using his free hand to scrub at his eyes.
"But you do...don't you? I mean you wouldn't have all this stuff..."
"I do...so much..." He squeezed Tsuna's hand. "Every time I tell someone I love them....I loose them...my mother, my friend, everyone I have ever told those words leaves me..." He sobbed out "I don't want to loose him! And I did the opposite!" Tsuna stood, still holding Gokudera's hand.
"Then tell him Gokudera....tell him how you feel..."
"I cant....I'm so scared!" Tsuna kneeled, the bed shifting slightly under his weight and pulled Gokudera from the wall hugging him to his chest. Gokudera froze then broke down crying again, wrapping his arms around Tsuna. Tsuna just sat there letting him cry, he wasn't sure what he could say, there wasn't much you could say anyway. He wasn't sure how long he had sat there, how long Gokudera's pure heartbroken cries filled the roof. But when Gokudera had stopped moving, asleep Tsuna guessed, Tsuna finally thought of what he had to do. Removing Gokudera's arms he pushed himself away covering Gokudera, he wrote a note quickly, turned the light off and went to grab his bag, orange eyes glowing in the dark.
It was dark when he reached the house he was looking for. Knocking he waited. Footsteps were heard and the door opened. Yamamoto stood in black sweatpants and a white shirt, he looked down at Tsuna then he sighed looking away.
"What do you want?" He asked
"A rose, every week since you two got together." Tsuna said not taking his eyes off Yamamoto, golden brown eyes met his orange, shock showing on his face.
"I never told anyone that he...wouldn't either."
"He kept them, in a vase every single one of them, the necklace and bracelet to, and the key to your house" Tsuna said, voice not faltering, it was fierce.
"How....he kept it all...." Yamamoto whispered. Tsuna grabbed his arm, dragging him out of the house. "Wait, wait! Tsuna!"
"Shut up!" Tsuna growled "Follow me." He said, Yamamoto, shocked by the change in personality, followed silently closing his door.
They walked to Gokudera's house, Tsuna knew better to take him inside instead he choose the window.
"Look!" Yamamoto looked at Tsuna then into the window. Yamamoto froze seeing Gokudera sleeping, just as Tsuna left him. But the room, every gift, every little thing, weather it be the baseball from the game they won, or a little note with a heart on it, he had it all. Yamamoto always thought he threw it away or something, but it was the opposite.
"I....made a mistake didn't I...." Yamamoto muttered, not realizing he was crying. "I broke his heart for a stupid idiotic reason."
"He dose love you, hes just afraid what will happen if he shows it." Tsuna said softly, the orange dying down in his eyes, he looked at Gokudera. "You should...talk to him....it will be hard...but he needs it"
Yamamoto smiled, placing his hand on the window. "I plan on it." He froze when the bed sheets shifted and Gokudera sat up. Tsuna jumped back and Yamamoto's hand fell from the window. Gokudera looked up going wide eyed.
"Yamamoto." Tsuna whispered, the black haired boy snapped out of his daze jumping away, as Gokudera looked up the second time. Both froze when there was a scream and a bang, silence then crying. Tsuna looked at Yamamoto who was looking down at his feet.
"Lets go..." Tsuna whispered. Yamamoto looked over, determined.
"You go Tsuna...I'll see you tomarrow" Tsuna smiled, handing him the key and turning carefully he ran. Looking down Yamamoto took a deep breath counting to 10, then walked to the door, feet squishing into the grass. He wasn't sure if walking in though the front door was the smartest thing in the world so he settled for knocking. There was silence, he knocked again. Waited, more silence. Once more, and finally he heard foot steps.
"What do yo-" He stopped freezing. Yamamoto waved.
"I'm sorry its late..."
"Bullshit." Gokudera mumbled "Why are you here?" He whispered.
"Because....because gokudera I was wrong" He said softly. Gokudera looked up, shocked. "I was wrong to ever doubt your love, you just show it differently then others. I'm sorry, I really am, and if you don't want to get back together I completely understand, but I still love you and I was really stu-" He was cut off when Gokudera pulled him down and kissed him.
"Your such and idiot" He whispered breathless.
"Your crying..." Yamamoto said, his breath mixed with Gokudera's. His hand moved to whip the tears.
"You are to." Gokudera said back, Yamamoto laughed leaning forward. They kissed again.
"I take i'm forgiven?"
"Hell no." Gokudera growled. "Far from it this is only the top Takeshi." Yamamoto nearly died hearing his name the first time from Gokudera.
"I love you know..." Gokudera smiled, tugging him into the house.
"I love you to....idiot" It was Gokudera's way, and he knew it now. Love wasn't always easy to admit, and for it Yamamoto could live with an endless song.
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I think I just died writing this, yes I know
utter crap
yes I know
I'm a failure as an author
And yes I know
its long and pointless and totally would never happen
goooooo ahead and tell me this...I know....
-Ringo-
I LOVE MY BETA KIGICHI SHES AMAZING