Sweet revenge
A/N: I wanted to write a fic about taking revenge on Edge. Because I don't quite like him. Enjoy, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Disclaimer: If I owned Final Fantasy, Kain and Rydia would take over the world. Since they don't, I don't own anything, except for the story.
"EDGE! You killed my spear!" Kain yelled. "I didn't kill anything! Spears don't live! Besides, I was practicing with my shurikens. If you didn't place it there, I wouldn't have hit it." Edge replied as he turned around and walked away to find another place to train. "I'll get you for this, you arrogant asshole…" Kain mumbled. "You bet I do…" He walked away to get another spear.
"EDGE! How could you!?" Rydia cried. "I haven't done anything!" Edge yelled back. Rydia held up the shredded remains of a green dress. "No, my dress shredded itself, you mean!? Watch out with those damn shurikens! I don't wash clothes so you can use them for target practice!" Edge looked down. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, "But you shouldn't hang them there…" Rydia fumed: "If you want to be a girl, just say so. I'll gladly turn you into one." Edge gulped and ran away from Rydia before she could turn him into a girl. "I have to find a place to practice…" he mumbled.
"Are you trying to kill me, Edge!?" Cecil snarled as he hung to the wall by his cape. Rosa ran towards him and removed the shurikens. "Ooh, you ruined my cape! Now I have to buy new one. And I don't know where they sell capes like this." "You could've killed him!" Rosa added. "I'm sorry, but you shouldn't walk in if I'm busy with shurikens." Edge apologised. "I can't look through doors and walls, so I didn't know." Cecil replied coldly. "My poor cape…" He started to cry. "It was so young! WHY!?" Edge and Rosa both stared at Cecil like he was crazy, with wasn't very surprising since he was a grown man. "Uh… Is it that late already!? I gotta go!" Edge said while looking at his wrist. "You don't even have a watch…" Edge didn't hear it since he was already gone.
"Okay," Kain said as he closed the door. "What should we do about Edge? Before he demolishes us, our stuff and the ship?" Rydia raised her hand. "I have an idea. What about turning him into a girl?" Rosa, Cecil and Kain stared at her. "I thought it was a good idea…" Rydia said. "Am I glad she's on our side…" Cecil whispered into Kain's ear. Kain nodded. "We could also…" Rosa looked down when everyone looked at her. "You know, hurt him on the inside." Rydia looked puzzled. "You mean we feed him hydrochloric acid?" "No, we should hurt his feelings and humiliate him." Cecil said. "Anyone got an idea?" Kain asked. Rosa answered. "Well… Who of us does he like the most?" Everyone stared at Rydia. "What? What did I do, what did I do?" An evil grin slid across Cecil's face. "He doesn't like Kain very much, so…" Rydia and Kain looked at each other. "You mean we should let them…" Rosa replied in shock. "They just have to kiss in front of his face." Rydia and Kain nodded. "If it really works…" "Sweet revenge…"
Edge was walking around the Lunar Whale, whistling. "Here he comes… Kain don't forget to take of your helmet…" "Oh, yeah…" Kain and Rydia grinned evilly as Edge walked around the corner.
"Rydia, I can't take it anymore…" Rydia mock gasped. "What do you mean, Kain?" Kain pushed her against the wall. "I want to kiss you…" Rydia smiled. "Are you mind-reading, Kain? I wanted that since I saw you at Dwarven Castle…" Their faces came closer together. Their lips touched and they kissed. Edge watched them in horror. "No…" he whispered. "How can they…" He ran away crying. "We have our revenge…" "Sweet revenge…"
"I feel bad…" Rosa said. "Maybe we were too hard on him…" "I can't take his sobbing anymore. It's annoying! How can I focus on summoning like this!?" Rydia added. "Go talk with him, Rydia and Kain." Cecil said. "What the fuck!? This was your idea!" Kain yelled. "Maybe it's better if we should talk with him about it…" "Fine!" Rydia yelled at Rosa. "Come on, then."
Cecil knocked on Edge's door. "Edge?" "Go away!" Edge said between sobs. "I have no reason to live anymore! Why is fate so cruel!? WHY!?" Rydia got angry. "If you don't open the door, I'm gonna burn it down with a fire spell." The door opened and Edge appeared. His eyes were very red. "What do you want? Hurt me even more?" "Shut up and let us in." Kain said.
"We, uh, gotta confess something to you…" Cecil started. "What do you mean!?" "We, uh, wanted to hurt you… The kissing in front of your face was planned. Though Kain kisses very well, I must say…" Rydia said. Kain blushed. Edge exploded. "WHAT!? YOU PLANNED ON HURTING MY FEELINGS!? YOU LET RYDIA KISS KAIN!? JUST TO HURT ME!?" "Uh, well, yes." Kain said. His cheeks were still red. "But that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy kissing Rydia…" "But why? What have I done to deserve this?" "…" "Oh, I get it…" He pulled something out of his closet. "I bought you guys this…" He gave Kain a new spear, Rydia a new dress and Cecil a new cape. "YAY! A NEW CAPE! THANK YOU!" Cecil yelled as he started to hug Edge. "But this doesn't mean we're done yet…" Edge looked stunned. "What do you mean?" The rest grinned evilly. "I hope you like dressing up…" Rosa said.
"I hate my life…" Edge said while he put on the costume. "Okay, I'm coming out!" He walked into the room, and his friends burst into laughter. He was wearing a pink bunny suit. "Do the dance, Edge." Edge started to hop around. "I'm a pink, pink bunny. Lalalalala. A pink, pink bunny, lalalalala." Cecil grabbed his camera. "I gotta put this on Youtube…"