Jun Pyo's POV
It's always a nice feeling to get woken up to the sound of birds singing or an orchestra playing right outside your window; something sweet and melodic to take you out of your trance. So what was the need for the person sounding the alarm to put it so close to my head? Did they want me to get a headache? Did they want to die?
I tried to figure out who it was that I was going to strangle and why they thought it was such a good idea to stand so close to my bed.
"Master... Time to wake up now, sir."
The voice was sing-songy and obnoxious. She didn't mean a word she said and accentuated the sir in order to make it sound as out of place as possible. She was MOCKING me. At such an early hour, too! She continued her call for me to wake up as I flopped back onto my mattress, wanting only to tangle back up in the sheets.
"Master, Master! You have to wake up."
She kept talking and all I wanted to do was to get her to shut up. Ever since the day I met her, all she did was talk. She defied me and spat on my reputation by releasing the nonsense that came from her mouth.
I reached up in a swift motion and placed the blankets over my head. Maybe by putting something in between us her words would become more distant and her incessant noise would finally die. Of course, I found immediate resistance as she latched onto the sheets.
Fed up, I tossed the sheets to the other side of the bed and she went along with them, gripping onto them tightly. I flung my arms around her as she fell and pulled her flush against me. She squirmed uncomfortably for a moment, making me only want to pull her tighter against me.
"Five more minutes. Let's stay like this… just five more minutes."
My eyes were closed but I could feel her on me. I was hyperaware of the positioning. I could feel the bunched up fabric against my chest and her exasperated breath on my neck. She seemed aggravated at first; her hands were pressed on my abdomen, ready to push off me at any moment and the grinding of her teeth was low and made something tick inside of me. But I could feel her body relax; her arms reclined and she seemed to sink further onto my body, her chin even resting momentarily on my shoulder.
I held her, constraining her movements, mumbling about dreams and Jan Di. I turned my head to look directly at her. Our faces were so close and it would be all too easy to place my lips against hers and be whisked away to a fantasy. A place where I could love her openly and nothing would get in the way. Not the monkey, not the witch.
Her deep brown eyes put me in a trance, boring into my soul. In that moment, she knew my darkest desires and deepest wishes. She knew how desperately I wanted to go back a few months when our lives were intact and I wasn't relied on to run the Shinhwa Group and support 700,000 families. She knew how much I missed her, Jan Di, just by looking into my eyes.
As soon as she was there, she was gone. She bolted from my arms and I looked after her, my eyes searching. As the clacking grew louder and the monkey rounded the corner, I couldn't help but roll my eyes before closing them once more. Maybe if I wished hard enough she would be gone and Jan Di would be back in my arms.
Five More Minutes
I mumbled into your shoulder
As you rested on top of me
I may have pulled you down
But you made no move to escape
Five More Minutes
For us to pretend
This is not the way it has to be
For us to pretend
We were still together
Five More Minutes
I wished to continue sleeping
Because I discovered
My dreams involved you and I
But my reality was her
Five More Minutes
I could pretend you were mine
As I pressed you into my chest
That your still breath on my neck
Was from you sleeping beside me
Five More Minutes
Living in a fantasy
Just five more minutes
To remember your love of me
Jan Di's POV
I was surprised as I found myself falling, falling back into his arms. In a rush, my feet were taken from the ground and I was placed tightly against his chest. I squirmed, moving to get away. It was hard enough being his maid and personal servant every day without having to be reminded that we used to be more. It was hard to remember that those days were over when he was still trying to keep me close.
I made to say, "What are you doing?" but was cut off halfway for his plea of five more minutes. I twitched in his arms and he held me tighter, pressing against me into his chest. I had my hands in between our bodies, making so that I could push away. It also helped from giving a full embrace.
"Even though I am holding you like this, I still can't believe you are here in front of me." He spoke in a low voice, barely above a whisper. The latent desire stirred his low voice. It sent a wave over me and couldn't help but relax into his shoulder, thinking over what he said. All those memories of us together were vivid and present in my mind. There wasn't a day when I didn't think of when we were dating and how everything was so different now. I still got to be near him, but not the way I wanted, not like this.
My thoughts of escape were muddled and then completely forgotten.
I could feel his body shift and I turned to face him, our eyes meeting in an ambivalent way. They blinked lazily at me and I could feel my barriers lowering the longer I stared into his brown eyes. I had missed this face with his agitating, curly hair and elongated nose. I had missed the sweet look in his eyes and the way the wrinkles appeared with his good mood. Gazing down at his lips, I realized how much I had missed him and the way his lips felt against mine.
My mind lingered on kissing him, even when my gaze retreated back to his eyes. I could see that he was watching me through a sleep-filled daze and it was beginning to cloud my head as well. I was filled with the sentiment of being free and letting go, letting myself fall back into his arms no matter what the repercussions.
As soon as the moment came it was gone. The footfalls were incapable of penetrating my thoughts, but the voice charged through clearly. Jae Kyung had arrived, calling out to her fiancé. Fearful, I jumped up, pushing myself far away from Gu Jun Pyo while pressing down my apron.
I stared straight ahead, my heart beating wildly as I glanced to the side. Just a glimpse of her was enough to speed my heart into overdrive. My mind raced with what I was going to do and what I was going to say. How could I explain this in a way that didn't exploit either of us?
"Jan Di... How did this happen?" her voice was sweet and inquisitive, almost afraid of the answer. What was I to say?
My mouth twitched as I thought through my answers. One corner pulled up to smile to defuse the situation while the other would tug down in order to speak. I began stuttering out words, tripping over my own tongue to get my point across, but what point exactly? I had no way to justify myself and again I was caught on the side of trouble because I didn't want to cause problems for Gu Jun Pyo.
So I smiled, barely showing teeth, and folded my hands in front of my apron. Her baffled look sent me back, reminding me once again that my distance with him was because he was going to get married. He specifically was going to get married to her, my self-appointed sister. So I returned to being obedient and docile, if only to show respect for her.
Silenced by expectations
Silenced by duty
Silenced by superiors
How am I to ever speak out?
Silenced by parents
Silenced by friends
Silenced by relations
How am I to express myself?
Fed up with the weight
Fed up with the struggle
Fed up with the cycle
How am I to restrain my voice?
Fed up with the uniform
Fed up with the smiles
Fed up with the act
How am I to explore my identity?
So for a moment
I let it all go
I will let you hold me
I will not say no
So for a moment
I'll let myself fall
Back into your embrace
Back into it all
Jae Kyung's POV
I came in the front doors and flew by the maids standing at the entrance. They seemed to stand in a line, the jealousy clear. I glanced past them, eager to get to my fiancé. My Jun. I walked towards the stairs and was stopped by the woman that offered up the engagement.
His mother stood at the end of the hall. She was done up like she was most mornings: hair pinned in neat curls, jet black and regal-looking. She had black earrings dotting her earlobes and a charmed smile hung from her mouth. She seemed pleased to see me, happy even. She didn't smile often, but I think the light dress helped her appear brighter.
"Why don't you go and wake him? I'm sure he would be happy to see you as the first thing to his day." She spoke with such elegance and confidence, I could feel my shoulders roll back and my spine stand up straighter. My smile grew as I thanked her before leaving. I strolled up the staircase, paying no mind to my surroundings. I walked down the hallway, only one thing on my mind: Jun.
I called out to him, "Hey, Jun! I'm here!" Maybe my voice would awake him, giving him a reason to smile. Well, the idea of him waking up smiling was a bit of a stretch, but there were so many places for us to go as dates today. We could explore the city and eat vendor food or go skating downtown. And maybe he would fall in love with me. My hopes rose the closer I got to his room. The thought of him being soundless and sleeping, waking up with his brown eyes full of sleep and his curled hair pressed lop-sided against the back of his head. The image of him waking up, seeing me while in his dream state, and immediately placing me in the context of his dreams. Maybe he even dreamt of me the night before. It was wistful, but possible.
As I entered the room and stepped on the tiled floor, I couldn't help but continue, excited, "Let's go..."
The remainder of the sentence froze in my mouth. A maid was clumsily moving herself off the bed and putting her skirt in order. JunPyo closed his eyes and placed his left arm in front of his face, shielding himself from my gaze. I turned from the lazy occupant of the bed to the girl straightening her headpiece. She glanced at me momentarily and I recognized her face.
"Jan Di..." It was the girl that I had met in Macau. The girl that was friends with my fiancé. The girl that was apparently his maid. "How did this happen?"
She looked nervous and frightened, barely able to stutter out a, "That.. I..." before fumbling her hands over the other, attempting to depict an explanation without having to use the words.
My eyes clouded over with the overwhelming sensation of hurt and confusion. I placed all the pieces together as another person entered the room. As I glanced between the two of them, I realized that I would not be done fighting for my love. There was competition that I was so blind to because I wanted to disbelieve any notion that he would be untrue. That he could possibly love someone beside me.
"Jae Kyung? It's not easy to wake up our Jun Pyo." The voice of my future mother-in-law filled the suite, taking up where Jan Di's voice drifted off, "But it seems like you've already..."
Her emptiness seemed to match the room. I didn't turn to her because I knew her expression would be similar to mine. I was sure she looked at Jan Di in the maid's uniform, surprised by the awkwardness of her rigidity. I was also sure that she looked at her son, whom had sprung upright in his bed. He stared past me, eyes straight on her. How could someone give so much attention to one person, but so little to another? I stared directly at Jun Pyo as his mother berated Jan Di.
"What? You!"
Maybe I was in denial
From the moment we met
I assumed you too sweet
To ruin my life
Maybe I was in denial
From your appearance
The tentative smile soon
Enchanted my soul
Maybe I was in denial
From your naivety
The small girl visiting America
Couldn't take my love away
Maybe I was in denial
From when we were reunited
I swore you up and down
To be my long lost sister
Maybe I was in denial
From the necklace
I handled it gently
Mesmerized by the J 3 J
Maybe I was in denial
From the glittering stones
I assumed you and he
Were never together
Maybe I was in denial
From when he took my hand
I trudged behind him dutifully
Yelling only when he glared at me
Maybe I was in denial
From the moment we met
I assumed myself too great
To lose my love
That's why
I gave him
To you