Title: Feverish
Author: Stephanie (AKA Damara)
Rating: K
Disclaimer: The characters herein are NOT mine. They belong to the CBS Television Network, as well as to the creators of Moonlight. NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED BY THEIR USE.
Spoilers: For "Fever" (Season One -- Episode 4)
Summary: (Alternate scene for Mick & Beth's exchange at the motel) – Beth knew that saving him meant only one solution. But she also knew Mick well enough to know that he'd never ask her for it.
Clamoring about the room urgently, Mick rushed toward the cold water faucet. Turning the knob to full capacity he moved desperately to fill the tub as quickly as possible. He sensed the urgency in his own body, and without any effort to remove his clothing, Mick fell into the basin and let the cold water clash in waves around him.
But even still he knew that the water wasn't frigid enough to stave off his body's distress.
He didn't know how long he'd laid there in the tub; he only knew that it seemed like an eternity before he finally heard Beth's voice break through the din that rang like thunder in his head.
"Mick, stay with me!" he heard her calling at him, though she sounded so far away. His mind remained faded from consciousness as she forced his body back up to the surface. When finally he regained awareness of his surroundings, he was comforted to find her hovering at his side.
"Mick, what's happening to you?" Beth couldn't help the fear that crept into her tone, nor could she hide the overwhelming relief she felt upon seeing that he was alive with her own two eyes.
"Beth...," he uttered her name as though the sound of it alone could save him.
"Mick...what's wrong?"
"It's the sunlight. The longer I'm exposed to it the weaker I become. I can't heal like this," he explained.
"But eventually you will right? I mean your body will recover or find some way to compensate?"
His silence and long meaningful stare were answer enough. And then she knew...he wouldn't heal.
He'd die out here before much longer.
"Okay, so what...what do I do? What do you need to get your strength back?" She frantically asked the question somehow sensing that she already knew the answer.
Until now he'd made every effort to squelch the growing blood lust that his body instinctively craved. But as his eyes met hers he easily read her concern, and against his better judgment he found it impossible to lie to her.
"Blood," he told her with a hint of embarrassment and perhaps shame, "I need to feed."
Staring back at him intensely Beth knew that being where they were, out in the middle of nowhere, their options for finding blood were extremely limited.
She knew that saving him meant only one solution. But she also knew him well enough to know that he'd never ask her for it.
Damn his pride! She was not prepared to lose him!
"Then drink mine," she told him boldly.
"What? No!"
Determinedly she began unbuttoning her sleeve as she continued, "You need blood right?"
His disbelief was written all over his face when he answered vehemently, "Not yours! Not like this!"
Not like this? Under calmer circumstances she'd have been compelled to prod further and find out what he'd meant by that, but she would not be derailed from the current issue at hand. She understood the urgency in convincing him that she would not take 'no' for an answer.
"Look," she started forcefully as she reached forward and held his head firmly between her hands, "I don't see that we have any other option here."
Then softening her hold on him, she let her fingertips aimlessly graze along the sides of his face and pass over his lips. The physical contact captivated them both; and in his eyes she watched as his resistance slowly began to ebb.
"You have to let me do this...," she half pleaded but was also deliberate in her request, "I need to do this for you Mick. I'm not going to lose you this way...not when I can save you."
The unharnessed tension that engulfed them seemed to charge the air between them.
"Please...," she nearly begged. Her hands fell away from his face then and came to gently rest atop his chest.
With his gaze still fixed on hers, he reached up and reverently took ahold of her forearm where it rested against his chest.
Sitting up slightly he moved to settle his back firmly against the porcelain behind him.
He found himself wondering how he could rightfully deny her this; he knew that put in the same position there would be nothing he himself wouldn't do to save her. He'd happily drain every drop of his own blood if that was what it took.
"Beth...," there was so much he wanted to say to her then. So much that words alone could never express. But now would not be the time nor the place to drown in his affections for her.
Though logically he knew there was no other way, he accepted the likelihood that he'd hate himself later for what he was about to do.
"...at some point...you're going to have to stop me."
Nodding her understanding, but also finding it impossible to hide the twinge of fear she felt come over her, Beth watched transfixed as his richly colored orbs turned pale and sharp fangs descended. Within another instant she watched him lunge forward and take her forearm into his mouth.
The initial puncture was jolting; but aside from the sharp sting she felt when his teeth tore into her flesh, the last thing she'd ever expected was the onslaught of emotions that suddenly washed over her.
The way she felt was strangely and immediately intoxicating as warmth gushed over and through her entire body. In that instant any discomfort she'd felt when his fangs pierced her skin was forgotten. The intimacy of the moment enveloped her when she instinctively succumbed, closed her eyes and fell forward to rest against his shoulder.
Before too much longer the pressure on her arm began to lessen, and the ferocity with which he'd fed on her blood began to fade. With the hold he had on her beginning to ease, Beth sensed the importance of breaking them apart.
"Mick...," she weakly attempted, but when she elicited no response from him she remembered what he'd told her.
...at some point...you're going to have to stop me.
Crazy though it sounded she was almost sorry to have to force him away. The sensations he was arousing within her were exhilarating, and the bond that she felt with him was more intense than anything she'd ever felt before. But she felt her body growing weaker and she worried that if she didn't break their connection now, she might not have to strength to do it later.So reaching forward, and channeling all of her remaining energy, Beth shoved Mick away from her with as much strength as she could muster. The force of her movement threw her backwards and away from him, and she landed in a heavy heap on the floor next to the tub.
Shifting her body up to look at him she could tell that she'd quenched his blood lust; his vampire eyes and teeth had apparently retracted. As well any disorientation he'd been experiencing appeared to have subsided, though it took him a moment to regain his bearings.
With his energy replenished, Mick returned his attention to where she lay; the move he made to bridge the distance from the tub to her side seemed effortless.
He sat beside her, and when she peered up at him the guilt that marred his beautifully colorful eyes was easily discernible.
"Beth...did I...?" his worried voice didn't know how to phrase the question. Had he hurt her? Would she ever be able to forgive him? Had he frightened her past the point of any reconciliation?
"...How do you feel?" he asked instead, but didn't wait for a response before quickly locating a towel and wrapping it tightly around her arm in an effort to stop her bleeding.
"I'm cold," Beth told him as her body began to quiver. Reaching beneath her body Mick lifted her as he sat up against the wall. It was both torturing and humbling at the same time he recognized; that it was his fault that she was in this condition and yet she came to him so willingly.
Her trust in him was unchanged.
He didn't deserve her he told himself, and not for the first time.
Cradling her shivering body he pressed her tightly into his chest as he sat on the ground with her in his arms. This woman he held meant everything to him. For more years than she even knew, she'd been his touchstone...his last remaining link to his own humanity.
Without her he'd be broken...and worse, useless to those that needed him most.
"Better?" he spoke quietly.
Unable to part their gazes she was unsure if her rise in body temperature was more a result of his efforts to keep her warm or just his tantalizing proximity.
"A little," she responded even more quietly.
"This is the second time you've saved my life," his voice held a quality of sadness as it fell on her ears.
"Why do you say it like that?"
Tilting his head as if in askance, "Like what?"
"Like you wish that I hadn't," she told him sadly, her eyes softly searching his.
She swore that he could see straight through her when he looked at her that deeply.
"You put yourself in danger. Again! You could have been hurt Beth...," the pained look in his eyes as he considered the alternative was unmistakable, "...or worse."
"But I wasn't," she said as though it could somehow erase his fear.
Shaking his head he told her softly, "That doesn't change the issue. I'm not willing to risk your life Beth...mine's not worth it."
In her eyes he was amazed to find that she was upset with him.
"Yes it is!" she answered emphatically. When he turned his head away in an effort to avoid her gaze she reached out, turned it back and told him softly, "To me you are worth it Mick."
"Forever is a long time to live with guilt Beth," he heard the pleading in his own voice. He needed her to be safe. He wouldn't be able to live with himself otherwise.
But then suddenly recalling how devastated she'd been when she'd been told he was dead, she countered thoughtfully, "And what about regret?"
"What do you mean?"
"This afternoon I wasn't sure that I'd ever see you again. And I hated that feeling; it was like I couldn't breathe. And it's made me realize that I can't pretend anymore that I don't care about you Mick. Or even that nothings changed between us." Then drawing his attention down towards her bandaged arm, she fixed her eyes back onto her wound as she whispered, "We're connected now."
After nodding his acknowledgment he admitted tenderly, "I think that maybe we always were."
Her eyes shined with unshed tears as they met his; a silent understanding seemed to pass between them, one that neither of them was entirely sure how to process. For regardless of how intimately connected they felt, his immortality seemed to create an immeasurable distance between them.
But realistically she also knew that his immortality wasn't the only bridge they'd need to cross before they could be together. There were other things to consider. There was Josh and the commitment she'd made to their relationship.
Feeling only slightly defeated she decided to leave those thoughts for another day. For now she'd relish the pleasure she felt while nuzzled against this man that she'd inexplicably fallen in love with.
As if sensing her thoughts Mick spoke softly against her hair, "We're eventually going to have to deal with this you know."
"I know," she told him. "But we can leave that for tomorrow can't we? I mean there are still questions that need answered Mick. About you...about our connection and why?"
Looking up at him she smiled, even as she noticed that he seemed momentarily worried by her comment, "I am a reporter after all and thus incapable of letting anything go."
Suddenly smiling back down at her he found himself wondering if he'd ever get used to seeing her look at him that way, "I wouldn't expect anything less from you Beth. Just be sure that before you ask the questions, you're ready to hear the answers."
Beth nodded her acknowledgment slowly; if she hadn't known better she'd think he was afraid of what she'd find out.
Did he really think that she'd ever be able to turn away from him?
"I don't ever ask a question I'm not ready to know the answer to Mick."
"Good."
"Besides, I don't know if you've noticed...but I'm not the type that's easily scared, or shies away from a challenge," he watched her silently, almost hopefully as she told him, "you're not getting rid of me that easily Mick St. John."
"Part of me really hopes that's true," he told her softly.
"And the other part?" she wanted to know, but his refusal to answer spoke more to her than any words could ever.
Laying her head back down against his chest she sighed knowing that they could deal with all the rest of it later. Beth greedily breathed in his scent as Mick held her tighter. She'd allow herself this...if only this. Because soon they'd be forced back into the stark reality of their lives.
For now though, nuzzled here together in the subtle darkness of a shady Victorville motel bathroom...this was all that mattered.
And anything seemed possible.