Because Of You
By KalaIvanov
He didn't want to be here. But he knew there was no other option. He knew he would have to come sometime. Come…….. To visit him.
The dark room of the prison was cold and dull. The little light reflected off the glass that separated the visitors from the prisoners.
He was a visitor. He would never end up a prisoner; he would make sure of that.
But this man, he deserved it. He had chosen the wrong path in life and now it was time to face the consequences.
Kai had started off on the wrong path, but now he had changed. It was time for him to forge his own path. He would follow in the footsteps of this man. No matter how much he knew the man wanted him too.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did…
But this man was not just another person on the planet. No. He couldn't deny it, they shared the same blood. No matter how much he hated the fact, this man was his Grandfather.
It was sad but true. The man that had caused him so much pain was his Grandfather. The man that had trained him to be a weapon instead of a grandson. But he would not follow his Grandfather. Never.
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery…
"It's been a long time."
Kai's head rose at the sound of the man's voice from the other side of the glass. His intense, fiery eyes met stone grey ones.
The old man's gaze was not as powerful as it had once been. He looked older, weaker. The pain of defeat and failed ambitions were visible on his elderly features. He looked broken and utterly defeated.
I will not break the way you did…
You fell so hard…
Kai sat staring. He really didn't want to be, but he knew he had to be. This man had caused him so much misery. He had taught him to be emotionless, uncaring. It had gone on for years. But it had taught him a very harsh lesson. To never let someone control him like that again.
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far…
"Well Grandson, you've certainly become a fine young man. You are a true warrior. If only you had chosen to stay loyal to your family instead of joining that pathetic bunch of brats." His grandfather sneered.
Kai gritted his teeth at that. How dare he insult his friends. The ones who accepted him for who he was, despite him betraying them twice. Even though he had acted so cold and distant. Even though he had been so untrustworthy, so foolish.
He had learnt now that that was a mistake. But he couldn't help it, it was all he had ever been taught. All his grandfather had ever taught him. He had never learnt how to feel…
…And it was all because of his sadistic monster of a grandfather.
Because of you…
I never strayed too far from the sidewalk…
Before, he had never really opened up to anyone. He hadn't known how to. He stayed cautious. Safe in his own world.
"I saw you in the last tournament, I watched every single match. You should have won, you were magnificent." His grandfather continued. "If only you had used that power for us, we could have ruled the world. Together."
Kai glared, finally responding. "No, never. I'm not your tool, you don't control me. You taught me to be a weapon instead of a grandson, isolating me and locking me away from the world. You took away my childhood and never let me see the outside world."
"It was for your own good." Voltaire argued back. "I was protecting you. I kept you away from the world of pathetic weaklings and trained you to be better than them."
Kai's eyes narrowed. His life was a wreck, all because of this one man, who was trying to 'protect' him.
Because of you…
I learned to play on the safe side…
So I don't get hurt…
Kai closed his eyes briefly, trying to regain his composure. "You took me away from the world. You taught me to be a warrior. I never learnt how to care, how to trust." He whispered.
Because of you…
I find it hard to trust…
Not only me, but everyone around me…
"It was for your own good." Voltaire insisted once again. "To rely on anyone else is pitiful. You do not need to trust. I taught you the valuable lesson of how to survive on your own."
Kai's eyes opened, but his head remained bowed. He listened to the silence of the small, private room. They were alone apart from two guards standing either side of the door.
It was nothing new; he was used to being alone.
"You didn't protect me from the outside world you taught me to fear it."
Because of you…
I am afraid…
"Nonsense!" The other bellowed, slamming a fist on the table. "You were taught to be strong, to fear nothing and nobody. But somewhere along the line, you broke away from your family and made the foolish choice to join that pathetic team of brats.
I lose my way…
And it's not too long before you point it out…
His grandfather's eyes closed briefly as he spoke in a quieter tone. "You know Kai, it is not too late. You can still make the right choice and return. Come back to the family that made you. Return to me."
Kai's gloved hands clenched into fists. He knew what the other was implying. It would be so easy to buy his grandfather out of jail. But he would not; he would never let the man ruin his life again.
He had barely had a childhood. It had been so miserable. How he had longed to be a 'normal' child.
He thought back to how he grew up in his grandfather's mansion as well as the abbey. One of the windows in the luxurious living room faced out toward a park across the street. He used to spend endless hours sitting on the window ledge, watching the children across the world play.
He had been taught to be emotionless, but deep down he knew he longed to join them. To be happy.
He had never been allowed to show feeling. But when the room was quiet and his grandfather was out on business, a lonely tear would trickle down a pale, painted cheek.
If his grandfather ever saw he would see it as a flaw and punish him.
I cannot cry…
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes…
I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh…
Everyday of my life…
Kai glared hard at the man before him.
Voltaire did not seem the least bit intimidated. "Times have changed, Kai. You have grown older, wiser, but you are still a naïve child. You need guidance, someone to mould you into the perfection you could be. You-"
"Listen here, old man. I don't need anyone controlling me. I'm moving on with my life and starting anew, a life you won't be part of." Kai's eyes narrowed. "To think I once loved you. Loved a man that ruined my life. If you never taught me how to feel, how can you expect me too feel compassion toward you. I never understood before, just how horrid you are, because I didn't know how to be happy. I can't feel something I don't know how too feel. It's your own fault."
My heart can't possibly break…
When it wasn't even whole to start with…
Voltaire chuckled a bitter laugh. "You have learnt well young Kai." His mouth twisted into a bitter smirk. "But one day your confidence may be your downfall."
"Really?" Kai sneered. "Just because it happened to you, it does not mean it will happen to me."
Voltaire's smirk grew wider as he sneered at his only grandchild. "Your arrogance amuses me boy. It is something you have inherited, as much as you try to hide it, you must face the facts. You are a Hiwatari thorough-and-through."
Kai fell silent. He knew it was true, he was a Hiwatari and he always would be. The family name was tied to him forever. Yet another burden he had received from his grandfather.
Because of you…
He had lived through so much pain, all because he was a Hiwatari. He had never strayed away from his family, what remained of it…
I never strayed too far from the sidewalk…
…Until now.
He had had enough of being used. It was time to start over and leave the past behind.
He was still quiet and distant, but to a lesser extent. He had learnt, over the past two years that the world was not harsh, cruel and pathetic, as his grandfather had so often claimed. There were people in the world willing to help, forgive and accept. People like… his friends?
They were the only people in the world Kai felt he could trust. They had accepted him for who he was. What he was.
…He was nothing but his Grandfather's tool. It was his entire fault.
Because of you…
I learned to play on the safe side…
So I don't get hurt…
His grandfather had brought him up as a weapon, teaching him that all emotions were a sign of weakness.
Because of you…
He had been wary of the Bladebreakers at first. He hadn't trusted them.
I find it hard to trust…
He hadn't trusted himself.
Not only me, but everyone around me…
"You used me…" Kai hissed. "…As a tool to fulfil your own wicked ambition."
Because of you…
I am afraid…
Now it was Kai's turn to get his Grandfather back. He would not help him anymore. He would leave him to rot in the harshness of confinement.
He knew even now that his Grandfather wanted him to return, to help him.But he wouldn't, never again.
I watched you die…
"We could have been great; you would have ruled the world by my side. You could have been powerful, grandson. But you threw it all away."
Grandson. How he hated the word. The word that tied him to the man. The man who was crying out for Kai to help him.
I heard you cry…
Every night in your sleep…
But he would not. The man deserved everything he was getting. As the saying goes, what goes around comes around.
"No, I would have got you there, got you the power. Then you would toss me aside, discarded after being used. I was naïve before, naïve enough to think that you really cared."
His grandfather growled, glaring hard at the slate haired youth. When Kai was younger it had been so easy. He had nowhere else to go. Nowhere to run too. Staying and letting his grandfather control him was his only choice.
Voltaire now knew he should never rely on children because they grow up and realise they have another option.
I was so young…
You should have known better than to lean on me…
"You never cared about me; you never cared about anyone but yourself." Kai snarled.
You never thought of anyone else…
You just saw your pain…
Kai stared at Voltaire through the glass. It was amazing to think that one man could have single handily caused him so much pain. But it was true. He had hurt him in more ways than one.
And now I cry…
In the middle of the night…
For the same damn thing…
It was all because of this one man.
Because of you…
"I've moved on. And I'm not coming back." Kai finalised.
I never strayed too far from the sidewalk…
Because of you…
I learned to play on the safe side…
So I don't get hurt…
The teenager pushed his chair back and stood up, face expressionless and eyes distant.
Because of you…
It was time to turn away and forget his past.
I tried my hardest just to forget everything…
Because of you…
He could now finally break away from his own private world. From the pain. And open up to the rest of the world.
I don't know how to let anyone else in…
He was ashamed of his past. Maybe of his grandfather too.
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty…
As he turned away without taking one last look at his only remaining relative, he knew one thing. He was finally free. His grandfather wouldn't be controlling him anymore.
He wouldn't be afraid anymore.
Because of you…
I am afraid…
Voltaire watched with dread as his only heir left the room. His grandson had left him to rot in jail.
Because of you…
But what Kai had just done to Voltaire was nothing compared to the amount of pain the man had caused him over his short life. It was all because of that one man.
Because of you.
End--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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