A/N: Random one-off short that popped into my head whilst listening to "Ten", by Jimmy Eat World. Once I began writing, it became impossible to continue without having the song playing – so I guess you can say it was probably inspired by it in some form or other. Anyway, I put the lyrics from the song at the end of the story because it didn't seem right to leave them out. As for the rest: the story is mine, the characters, locations, etc aren't, and the lyrics are © Jimmy Eat World, taken from the album Clarity.
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A picture of indignity, Colette dashed down the crowded street – failing to avoid both the busy citizens of Meltokio and the heavy rainfall as she went. Colliding with at least four people and tripping into two surprisingly deep puddles, the Chosen was soaked through as she took shelter in the open doorway of a tavern and waited for Lloyd to catch up.
"Man, I'm drenched," he complained as he joined her, brushing beads of water from his brown hair. "This weather sucks."
Colette looked up at the thick black clouds in the stony grey sky as they unloaded their cargo upon the city, and found herself smiling. "Hehe, I like the rain," she grinned, feeling strangely warm despite being dripping wet.
Lloyd stared at her blankly. "Yeah…it's great," he replied, an edge of gentle sarcasm in his voice.
Colette giggled at her friend's words. "I guess that sounded weird, huh?" She brushed aside damp hair and smiled ruefully. "But for me, it's still really nice to be able to feel things again – you know, things I used to take for granted."
The young man returned the smile as he glanced around, watching people hurrying up and down the street. "What, like being wet? Wouldn't it be better just to take a bath?"
The young Chosen stepped aside as several merry patrons left the tavern. "I guess it would," she replied. "But rain feels different, don't you think?"
"I won't tell you what I think." Lloyd rubbed at his damp clothes in an attempt to dry them. "But I understand what you're saying. I guess if I temporarily lost my ability to feel things then I'd appreciate them more after."
"Yeah, it's just like that." Colette looked at the ground, inhaling the heavy smell that came from the rain soaked wood and stone of nearby buildings. "It's…nice that you understand me," she added – voicing the thoughts that warmed her. The fire fuelled heat from the tavern spilled out onto the doorway, turning it into a barrier between the warm innards of the building and the cold wind outside. Colette shivered as her damp clothes weighed down against her skin.
"Hey, do you want to go inside and sit out the rain? We could get a hot drink or something."
Lloyd nodded, "That's the best idea I've heard all day."
Colette led the way inside, and went to search for a table as Lloyd approached the counter to order the drinks. They had come at a good time, with the seats quickly filling up with other citizens who were trying to escape the foul weather. Finding an empty table beside a roaring fireplace was a stroke of luck, and Colette glanced around at the other patrons as she sat, waiting for Lloyd to return.
I wonder if they know how little time they could have left, she thought, suddenly feeling dejected. Soon they would be facing Mithos, probably for the last time, and if they failed then…
She ended her fractured thoughts on the matter, feeling saddened by the prospect of so many what-ifs. They would be victorious. They had to be.
The young Chosen had no further time to dwell on the matter as Lloyd arrived, carrying two large steaming mugs. Colette smiled as he set them down, feeling reassured by his presence and comforted by the thick smell of hot chocolate that wafted in the air.
"Thanks," she said, cupping her hands around the mug to warm them.
"They had food as well," said Lloyd as he took a seat. "I didn't know if you were hungry though – did you want me to go order some?"
"No, it's okay. I'm not really very hungry." Colette paused and blew at the steam rising from the hot chocolate, getting her thoughts in order. "Lloyd," she said at last. "Guess it's just us now. Do you think we have…um…time for this?"
Lloyd stared for a second, then sighed and shook his head. "Honestly? I don't know. I have my doubts about it too, but after what happened at Welgaia it seemed like the best course of action."
Colette nodded. It was true, they had all been on edge since returning from the Holy City and although they had come through the traps there unharmed, the illusions had affected them all one way or another. When Lloyd and Raine had suggested a short time out before the confrontation with Mithos, it had seemed like a good idea – a chance to allow everyone to go away and assess their own reasons for fighting on. Now though, the young Chosen felt concern eroding away her earlier confidence as time went by, and she found herself wondering if they had the time for such an indulgent detour.
"You're right of course," she said at last and tried to reassert her conviction with a smile at her friend. "I was just a little worried…you understand?"
"Sure, but don't worry Colette – it'll be fine!"
Colette saw her own doubt reflected briefly in Lloyds eyes as he said those words, but he was obviously trying to comfort her. The young Chosen smiled again in secret acknowledgement and took a sip of her hot chocolate. The drink was delightfully thick and united instantly with the nearby fire to warm the blonde haired girl and sedate her with a cosy drowsiness.
"I know it will be," she replied. "Because you'll be there, right?"
"Sure! After all, I'm committed. I've got to see this through to the very end." Lloyd averted his gaze then, taking a sip from his mug. "But you don't…well…what about you?"
"Huh?" The question took Colette by surprise and she lowered her mug rather heavily onto the table, nearly knocking it over by accident. What did Lloyd mean by that? Was he implying that she didn't have to go? But…
She shook her head, damp locks of hair falling about her face. "W-well, that goes for me too," she said, closing her eyes. After all, she thought, they had been through so much now that surely she had an obligation to confront Mithos at the very end. But there was another reason too, and as soon as her thoughts closed in on it, her lips began to blurt it out.
"Besides, remember Heimdall? I…said then that I wanted to continue to be by your side. That…that still holds true, and…"
She paused as Lloyd blushed, and forced herself to look away at the fireplace to distract her from her suddenly cluttered thoughts. A strange sensation filled her stomach – the young girl feeling strangely nervous despite the familiarity of the present company – and she felt as though there was something else she wanted to say.
The flames danced merrily beside her seat, red and orange tongues beating down yellow plumes in waves as Lloyd began to speak.
"Colette," he said, his voice barely audible above the ambience of the tavern. "I want you to stay by my side too – but I…don't want that to be the only reason why you want to face Mithos. I mean…we could fail. We could…" he blinked and trailed off, looking down at the contents of his mug. "What you're saying…is it reason enough?"
The young man sounded so serious all of a sudden. It didn't really seem right, and Colette didn't like the strange tone in his voice.
"It's reason enough for me," she said quietly, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks as she defended her decision. Yet the words continued to spill from her mouth, hastily conjured sentences running like a stream through the awkward atmosphere. "Whatever happens, I…don't want to leave your side. Ever."
"Colette…" Lloyd looked as red as the young Chosen felt, and she smiled nervously to offset the strange feeling that still plagued her. For some reason, she felt almost scared – though not in a fearful way – and she quickly took another sip of her drink.
"Besides," she added, interrupting whatever it was Lloyd was about to say. "As it stands, I still feel like I've kind of failed as the Chosen – that I've let down those who were counting on me. All the people on Sylvarant…" The young girl paused, looking at the table. "…My friends, and…you."
Lloyd laughed, but it sounded to Colette as if it was more from surprise than humour. "What are you talking about, you dork? You haven't let anybody down. In fact, you've done so much to try and save the world – you're probably the best Chosen ever!"
Oh, Lloyd! Colette looked away for a moment, feeling a surge of happiness at the young man's words. But if only it was as easy to believe them.
"It's a nice thing to say Lloyd, but I still feel like my actions are to blame. Like I'm to blame. Because…I am really, aren't I?"
"Of course you're not," replied Lloyd, his voice full of passionately ferocious. "This is really unlike you, Colette. No one is really to blame for how all this has turned out. I certainly don't think you have ever been at fault."
The young Chosen blinked back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her as a great weight began to lift from her shoulders.
"That…means a lot to me Lloyd," she said, meeting his gaze. "But it's the reason why I want to fight on at your side. If…" she paused before correcting herself. "…No, when we win against Mithos I'll actually feel as though I truly have helped save the world. Both worlds in fact." A thought came to the blonde haired girl and she giggled. "I bet Zelos must be happy too – it means he can also fulfil his role as a Chosen."
Lloyd smiled, "Yeah, I bet he can't wait to tell all his admirers how he placed his life in great danger to save the world."
"Hehe, and just think – with two Chosen's we will have twice the chance of saving the worlds."
Lloyd frowned, slightly confused. "Uh…yeah, sure."
Colette tapped a finger on the top of her mug. "Hm, although there are two worlds to save, so I guess it doesn't make much difference really."
"Right…?"
"But there's only one Mithos, so surely that puts us back on an advantage again?"
Lloyd couldn't find anything to say to that, so instead he finished his drink and set the mug down. "I shouldn't worry too much about the details," he said. "Let's just do our best, okay?"
"Okay!" Colette grinned and looked out of the window. The rain had abated, and by the looks of the sickly yellow light that was filtering into the room, the sun had begun to emerge from behind the clouds. With the prospect of the great – probably final – battle looming on the horizon, Colette suddenly didn't feel like just sitting around waiting for the others to return.
"Look Lloyd, it's stopped raining." The Chosen stretched her arms. "Do you…want to go for a walk?"
The young man nodded, "Yeah, that sounds good. Did you have somewhere in mind?"
"Um…not really. It would be nice to just walk and see where we end up – just travel for once without a destination."
"Yeah, I know what you mean."
Colette watched her friend as he rose to his feet, taking in all kinds of details that she had never recalled doing before – how his hair rose and fell as he moved, and how his soft eyes shimmered with the reflection of the fire. It was if something had been changing in the young man over their time together, something imperceptible to her regular senses, but detected all the same. The warm feeling of affection she had for Lloyd was still there, as always, but it felt as though it had been altering slightly over the course of days, weeks, months – and Colette wasn't sure how or why. She had begun to have so many different feelings in his presence lately: awkwardness, shyness, but also an increased fondness and dependence.
"Colette, are you okay?"
His words cut through her thoughts and she blinked, realising she must have been staring at the young man for well over a minute. She blushed and shook her head to clear her thoughts. "I'm fine, just…thinking about a few things, that's all."
Lloyd looked at her fondly then, and she felt the flutter of butterflies returning to her stomach. "Don't push yourself too hard, okay? Nobody wants you getting run down – especially me, right?"
She smiled. "Right! I'll be careful! Sorry for worrying you."
The temperature outside had not improved with the arrival of the sun, which was hanging limply in the pale yellow light. In contrast to earlier, there was now barely a cloud in the sky. The biting wind was still present though, but Colette found its coolness refreshing after the smothering heat of the tavern.
The two friends ambled down the winding streets of the city; their conversation remaining consciously light-hearted, as if neither wanted to discuss what was to come. The sun remained anchored above their location as they began to leave the crowded streets behind, passing through the sparse outskirts of Meltokio into the green countryside beyond.
Pushing through some overgrown foliage just outside of the city, they came across an area of serene natural beauty – a tiny stream which wound its way lazily over the lightly elevated terrain, surrounded on either side by long grass and rushes and an enormous range of flowers. Dew from the earlier rain glistened on the various coloured petals and greenery whilst the stream gurgled in a soothing manner.
"Oh Lloyd – look! Isn't it beautiful?" Colette could barely contain her excitement at the scene before her and dashed forward to get a closer look – the gleaming dew shedding around her like transparent fireflies as she passed through the surrounding undergrowth.
Colette heard Lloyd tell her to be careful as she ran up to stand on a large rock by the stream bank to get a clearer view. Yet no sooner had the words left the his mouth, the young Chosen tripped – the movement dislodging the heavy stone beneath her feet – and fell forward with a squeak into the stream.
The water was freezing cold and surprisingly deep – submerging the young girl completely. She gasped with the sudden shock and choked, scrabbling around underwater as the liquid forced its way into her mouth. Panic forced her limbs to flail in random directions, and she tried to direct herself upwards but the water stung her eyes.
Suddenly, strong arms wrapped around her waist and Colette was hauled heavily out onto the bank, coughing and spluttering as she rose on her hands and knees in the damp long grass. Lloyd dropped down beside her, placing his hands on her shoulders.
"Colette, are you okay?" He asked, sounding very concerned.
Spitting out the stream water sparked another coughing fit, so the young girl merely nodded – blinking as she tried to focus her blurry vision on her friend.
"Man, don't ever do that again! You had me really worried there!"
The Chosen felt a little downhearted at making her companion have cause for further worry. "I'm sorry," she gasped. "I…I–"
"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're safe." Lloyd hesitated for a second before pulling his friend close for a tender, if slightly awkward, embrace that made Colette feel warm despite her soaked clothes. "Man, you sure are clumsy."
Colette found herself giggling at that. "Hehe…yeah, I guess I am. Sorry." She sat upright, regretting leaving the warmth of the embrace, and looked down at herself. "Maybe it's not so good to feel wet all the time. I had only just dried out."
Lloyd shrugged out of his jacket and handed to Colette. "Here, swap with this – at least it's dry."
"Are you sure? Won't you be cold?"
"Not as cold as you are now," he laughed and turned away as Colette hastily swapped her upper clothing with Lloyd's jacket. It was a little too big for her, but was warm and snug and smelt of Lloyd as she wrapped it tight about herself.
"Thank you Lloyd…and I'm sorry. You're going to get cold now because of me."
"I'll be fine," the young man replied. "Look! The sun's coming out now anyway, so maybe it'll warm things up." He sat down on another large rock beside the stream. "Hey, this one seems safe."
Colette wrung out her hair the best she could before moving to sit down beside him. The young girl watched the insects buzzing over the deceptively calm surface of the water, and the fish swimming within.
"This place reminds me of the river near Iselia – do you remember it Lloyd? We went there when we were young."
"Yeah!" Lloyd smiled at the memory. "That was cool! We made those amazing rafts…well, except for Genis. Didn't his sink?"
Colette laughed. "Yeah, and there were those cool trees that hung over the river. We used to sit on the branches and race leaves."
"I remember that! Yeah, and one day that branch you were sitting on broke…" the young man hesitated.
"…That's right. I fell in the river." Colette thought back to the incident. "You saved me then too."
"You make it sound like a bad habit," Lloyd remarked, a slight smile forming on his lips.
"Not a bad habit." The Chosen blushed and looked across at her friend, the returned smile gentle and soft upon her lips. "You always save me." She realised as she said the words that there felt like some hidden meaning hidden within them – like she was subconsciously letting Lloyd know how she felt.
Lloyd's cheeks coloured a little, and he fiddled with the material of his inner shirt. "Yeah, but don't forget – you save me too!"
It was Colette's turn to look flustered, and she turned her gaze back to the stream. "I-I do?"
"Sure. Whenever I'm down, or about to do or say something reckless, you're always there to cheer me up, or put me back on the right track."
"Hehe, I don't really need to do much though."
"But you do, Colette!" Lloyd looked across at her. "You've really got me through some tough times during this journey. And not just me either."
The Chosen looked shyly at the ground. "Umm, well…we're all friends, so we have to help each other, right?"
"Right!" Lloyd skimmed a stone across the water. "And that's what will make us victorious when we face Mithos."
"Yeah…" Despite the enormity of the task, Colette had almost forgotten about that following the recent events. She knew she should try to be more positive, but after being so for such a long time, it was becoming a heavy weight to bear. Thoughts of the final conflict filled her with a hollow sensation and in that one moment she desperately wanted to be reassured that everything was going to be all right, that there was going to be a happy ending.
Colette looked up at the stream as the brightening afternoon sun reflected white on its surface, the sound of insects and birds filling the air, and inhaled deeply.
"Lloyd, if…if you don't mind, can we…hold hands?"
The young man's head looked across sharply. "Huh? W-where did that come from?"
"Um…I don't know. I just…need to feel safe right now." She met his gaze, feeling a little silly. "Is that okay?"
"Y-yeah, sure it is." Lloyd sounded nervous to Colette, and she didn't know why – despite feeling slightly shy about the act herself. He took her hand in his and their fingers automatically intertwined, surprising and embarrassing them both. But it had the desired effect on Colette, who instantly began to feel alleviated by the close physical contact. She smiled shyly at Lloyd.
"It feels nice, Lloyd," she whispered, skimming a stone with her free hand.
"Yeah, it does." The young man turned to face her, but didn't say anything else and Colette found herself just staring at his features again in the afternoon light. They sat there looking at each for a few moments more before Colette surprised them both by leaning across so her head was resting on his shoulder. The young Chosen couldn't even justify her actions in her own mind, so she didn't know what her friend was probably thinking. It was like, suddenly, holding hands wasn't enough. Nevertheless if he was feeling awkward, then he didn't say anything. The pair sat side by side for a long time before Lloyd's voice finally broke the silence.
"Colette…do you remember much from the time where you…" Lloyd faltered at the words.
"Lost my heart? Um, not really. It was kind of strange really – at certain times I could hear and see things, but it was kind of like I was an observer. Most of the time though, I don't remember anything – why?"
"It's just…ah, no reason." Lloyd looked away, and Colette could see there was something on his mind. She gave his hand a squeeze.
"What is it?"
Lloyd inhaled deeply, then looked back at the blonde haired girl. "Well…It's just…when we came to Tethe'alla, we were still trying to find a way to cure you and…Genis had this idea that…" Lloyd swallowed, flushing visibly. "…That you might have snapped out of it if I said something to you like…um, I love you."
"Oh…r-really?" Colette looked down at her blushing reflection in the stream. "Hehe…I guess it didn't work though."
"No…guess it didn't." Lloyd smiled ruefully. "But…at the time, with everyone there…y'know, it was kind of embarrassing to say. Yet now…"
The Chosen's heart was in her throat. She looked up at Lloyd, feeling her eyes grow wide. "Lloyd? What are you saying?" The hair on the back of her neck stood on end, as if something powerful was charging the nearby air.
The young man blinked. "Well…just that I wanted it to work. I wanted you to hear me say those words…because, well…they're true."
Colette felt a shudder pass through her as she gasped; her head swimming with a strangely pleasant sensation. It was if her senses were working overtime – supplying her with increased feeling all over. As she straightened, she realised that her translucent wings had emerged from her back, now shimmering though Lloyd's jacket. Colette blinked, realising she must have lost control briefly.
"Y-you…love me?"
"Um," The young man paused for a second, his behaviour reflecting her own. "Y-yeah…and I…want to be with you." Lloyd fidgeted awkwardly and Colette watched the young man as he rose to his feet, looking out down the stream. They had been friends for so long now, it almost seemed weird to think there could be possibilities beyond friendship. But Colette wondered if that was what she had been feeling recently too, every time she looked at him.
"Lloyd…" the blonde haired girl didn't move for a moment, the original shock giving way to a numbness that had paralysed all of her body save for her heart, which she felt beat faster as the young man turned to look down at her. She opened her mouth to say something she was sure was rational but a flood of words burst forth, as if they had been waiting patiently for the opportunity to be voiced.
"…Lloyd I…I don't know what to say!" Colette's nervous laugh was tempered with embarrassment. "I mean…I do know…and that is that I love you too, of course I do, but I…oh it's weird…I never really thought about you like…um, that before – well…actually I think I might have, but that I never really realised it and…."
Her mind tried desperately to inject some stability to her mouth but the words were still spilling out with little control. Trying to calm herself, Colette rose to her feet, the shimmering wings catching the sunlight as they moved.
"You…you really mean it?"
Lloyd stared at her for a second, as if absorbing the sight of her, before nodding. Walking forward, he took her hands in his and smiled – looking as nervous as Colette felt. "Yeah," he said. "Of course I mean it. I'm worried about what lies ahead, but when you said you wanted to be by my side then that made me feel real happy – like I can take on anything that comes my way. You are always there to give me support and encouragement, and you never let me get down. When you were…" Lloyd looked at the ground as he practically spat out the word, "…taken by Mithos, I realised just…just how important you are to me."
"Oh Lloyd!" Colette wrapped her arms around the young man, pulling herself close to him as tears began to form in her eyes. It was hard to pinpoint when her feelings had developed to this level, because everything had just seemed to happen so quickly – but, even so, she didn't think she had ever felt as happy as she did right now.
Lloyd's arms held her tightly, affording both comfort and warmth, as one hand stroked her hair. "Uh…gotta say, that was a slightly weird reaction."
She laughed and looked up at him. "Sorry…I…" she trailed off as she looked at his face, the afternoon sun lighting up one half of his features. His eyes were beautiful, and she felt a warm shudder pass through her body as he met her gaze.
"…I…" Colette made to continue, but became lost in the wonderful sensation that seemed to coat her body – the young Chosen feeling so giddy she thought she would faint. As she shifted the weight of her legs to support herself, Colette tripped on a loose rock and fell forward into Lloyd. Their lips brushed as a result of the impact, and somewhere along the way, the contact became a kiss. The way her actions had surprised her was quickly forgotten as Lloyd brought up a hand to caress her cheek – the moment both awkward and tender.
Colette turned shyly away to rest her head back on Lloyd's shoulder – suddenly embarrassed.
"I…I'm so glad I met you," she whispered, "Really. Everything's going to be okay, right? I really am going to be able to stay by your side?"
"Yeah, of course. I promise." Lloyd replied, squeezing her in a hug. "And it's a promise I intend to keep."
"I know you will, and I'll do my best too!" Colette looked into the young man's eyes – seeing them reflect her own feelings of joy and hope – and smiled. It really was going to be all right.
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We left behind the busy crowd. So it seems we slow down. Meet me with a way out through the lies. Nowhere, going nowhere in the fake yellow light. The feelings change so fast. Safety scares them away. I can't bring myself to say it's my own advice I need. Nowhere and then nowhere. Living trapped inside the chase. Our weakness is the same. We need poison sometimes. So take another drink with me. Blame no one. Look in my eyes and blame no one.
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Ten, © Jimmy Eat World.
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