This isn't my first fan fiction, but it is my first BSG attempt. (The first I've posted, anyways.) It's a bit different, so I'm feeling a bit shy about it. Don't be afraid to give me your thoughts.

Kara Conversation

By: Mariel

President Roslin looked at the Commander steadily, her green eyes clear. "You two are very close.'

He looked up, stared across the room, then turned his head to regard her steadily. He knew there was more to her observation than met the eye; knew there was a question behind it, but about what, he was unsure. Ever careful, he asked, "What do you mean?"

She heard the caution in his gravelly voice. "She's important to you. Your relationship with her - it's not what people would expect and you keep it well hidden... yet, there it is." she said, moving her hands in graceful illustration.

He frowned, unwilling to follow her line of thought. He knew exactly what had elicited this line of comment. The president and he had finished the official part of her visit to his quarters an hour earlier- the reports had been exchanged, the decisions that needed to be made had been taken care of. As it was early evening, they had done as they often did after their day's visit - they'd moved to sit on his sofa to enjoy a quick drink of ambrosia and a moment's casual conversation.

Then Kara Thrace had arrived unannounced.

She'd let slip a look of both surprise and disappointment at finding someone with him. That would have been acceptable, but as she glanced between the president and himself, that look had sharpened into an appraisal of them that Adama was wise enough to be wary of. Trying to distract her, he'd allowed a more flippantly casual conversation to take place between them than he usually allowed in front of others.

He was pretty sure he'd been successful in diverting Kara's attention away from the president and himself. Now, however, there was another issue to be dealt with.

Sighing, he looked at the president. She'd picked up on the relaxed rapport he shared with Lieutenant Thrace and was obviously curious. One problem averted; another one created. Out of the pan and into the fire, he remembered his grandmother saying.

It appeared to be the underlying theme of his life.

Inhaling deeply, he said, "Madame President, she was my son's fiance."

xxx

Laura Roslin noted the use of her title and the warning timbre in his voice, but she was undeterred. "I know. Tigh told me, remember? But she's more to you than that - and you're definitely more to her than simply her dead fiance's father." She tilted her head to one side and the unbidden question of whether or not he had slept with the young woman entered her thoughts. Uncomfortable with how that idea made her feel, she made a conscious effort to keep her voice detached. "You haven't slept with her, have you?" she asked bluntly.

He made no outward movement, but she felt him withdraw. She waited a beat, then, when he didn't respond, prompted, "Well?"

Refusing to look at her, he replied in a tone that some might have felt threatened by.

"That's an outrageous question to ask."

It was, and he had every right to feel indignant, but she wasn't about to back down now. "Then it shouldn't be difficult to answer," she retorted.

He straightened his spine, drew his shoulders erect. "It doesn't deserve an answer."

"I've offended you because I'm observant?"

"No, because of what you're observing."

She was definitely making him uncomfortable. An overwhelming need to know made her watch him carefully as she said, "I'm surprised. And curious. As I said, you two are unusually close." She smiled to ease her words, and invited him to talk by saying, "There must be an interesting story in there somewhere."

2

She obviously wasn't going to let this one go. William Adama looked down at the drink he held in his hands and wondered how much truth needed to be aired in order to satisfy her. And how damning whatever he said would be.

Arranging the first few sentences of what he would say in his mind first, he inhaled deeply, then finally spoke.

"You say you know about Zak. His death was difficult for both Kara and me. We went through a very bad time," he explained, his voice deep and reflective. "She was a mess, and in retrospect, I guess I was, too. Lee, of course, had decided I was a devil of some sort, acted as though I had killed Zak myself, and shut me out of his life completely. My ex-wife refused to speak to me, and-" he stopped abruptly, then shrugged. "Things weren't good. It was all too sudden. Kara became my only link to what I had lost. And I was her only link to Zak. We both shared a hurt we couldn't share with anyone but each other. She really loved him, you know." The sides of his mouth quirked upwards. "She never does anything by half-measure."

He was right there, Roslin thought. Which was why she was curious as to the nature of the young woman's relationship with Adama. She looked at him and wondered how much truth he would reveal to her.

"So you helped each other through a difficult time."

He nodded. "Exactly. We'd never met until the day before the funeral, so we had a lot to talk about. She wasn't afraid of me, didn't hate me, and for some reason trusted me right from the beginning. That felt good. After the funeral, she said she needed to get away. Though I didn't expect her to take me up on it, I offered her a position on the Galactica. I needed someone close," he admitted, "someone who could talk to me about Jake; someone to remind me he'd lived and laughed-" He stopped abruptly, then after a pause continued, "And I needed someone who wasn't afraid to cry when it hurt too much." He lifted sad eyes to meet hers. "It sounds strange, but her tears kept me from shedding too many of my own. She kept me from wallowing in my own swamp of self-pity."

"So she came to the Galactica because you asked her to."

He nodded again, remembering. Pausing a moment to take a sip of his drink, he then leaned against the back of the sofa and looked at the president steadily. He was surprised at how easy it was to speak to her about this, but he was not about to be lulled into confidences he did not want to make.

"I knew she was a fine pilot, but signing onto the Galactica wasn't an advancement career-wise for her. There were certainly other choices: she's the best pilot the fleet's seen in a long time. But she wanted to be here, and I was glad of it. Her XO probably knew she'd make his life hell if he turned the transfer request down. I'm sure he was surprised it was here she wanted to go., but what the hell. She had the reputation of being a difficult person to manage," he said, a small curve of his lips showing his pride in her. "He was probably glad to see her go. Fortunately, she usually listens to me, so we've never had a problem. We understand each other, I guess."

Laura leaned back against the cushions, too, turning slightly so that she could regard him easily. "So you're saying she could have written her own ticket, but she chose to come here with you on the Galactica. That's quite something for a young, ambitious woman."

Adama knew what she was implying. Taking a long drink of his ambrosia, he winced as it burned a trail down his throat.

"It's hard to explain."

"Obviously."

"We helped each other."

"So you did sleep together?"

He realised then that it was a question he would never answer either way.

For a lot of reasons.

"Not everything boils down to going to bed or not," he admonished. "Kara Thrace is the daughter I never had. Moreover, she's the daughter I chose. I understand her and she understands me and we trust each other. We've sorted through the misery of Zack's death, learned what we hold important, and have no regrets other than that we didn't meet earlier." He smiled. "She must have been a very interesting child. I'd like to have known her then. All in all, I figure I'm a very fortunate man to know her now." He looked at her and tilted his head to one side. "Of course, it'd help if my two children got along better, but I have a feeling at some point they'll grow up and learn to do that, too. Lee is coming around, I think."

Roslin's mind worked quickly. " Is Lee uncomfortable with your relationship with her?"

The tactician in him saw the opening for diversion and he took it. "Lee feels uncomfortable with just about anything that relates to me," he answered. "He sees it as his responsibility."

She smiled, knowing that the improvement in his relationship with his son allowed for this kind of gentle sarcasm. "He's scared of you sometimes," she observed.

Adama grunted. Diversion successful. "When he isn't disappointed in me, angry with me, or simply refusing to deal with me."

She saw the resigned humour in his eye, and smiled at him. "You're surviving all right."

He nodded. "Like I said, I'm lucky. A few things could happen to make me happier, but I'm a patient man. I can wait to see if things evolve the way I hope."

The look in his eye when he said that made her pause because she wasn't sure how to read it. A discreet knock on the door Kara had closed when she left made the president look up. Time to go. Rising, she looked down at Adama and felt sorry for having to leave him.

"Thanks for the company," she said softly.

He rose to stand beside her. He could admit to feeling surprised that he had told her as much as he had. He was more surprised still when he realised he wouldn't have shared this much with anyone else.

"Any time," he promised her.

They smiled at one another, he in relief that he had avoided another area of trouble, she because she had become fond of this man in a way she couldn't define and had enjoyed learning something more about him. It gave her a feeling of intimacy with him that pleased her.

She hadn't yet realised he hadn't answered her question.

As it turned out, it was one of the few he never did. But down the road, when all was said and done, she wouldn't have said that it mattered.

End

Kara Conversation