A/N: Unedited angst, written all of five minutes ago. Based on the song Mad World by Tears for Fears. If that's a little rocky for you The Glee Project Cast did a stunning heart-wrenching rendition. Umm, hints at self-harm in one part. So if that's triggering...
One-sided Quick, One-sided Niff, One-sided Brittana, Trent/Loneliness, One-sided Kurtofsky, Artie/Abandonment, Blaine/Sadness, One-sided Wes/Thad
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Another night, another girl. None of them meant anything. All of them reminded him of her in one way or another. They were nearly always blonde; he always went for green eyes. None of them were her though. He would never have her again, he screwed up. He ruined her life and in turn, his own and every night he reminded himself of that with another girl that was so similar to her, yet so completely different. Quinn was the only girl who would ever mean anything to him. Too bad she would never be his.
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Jeff never did anything but act these days. He was that straight, blonde, all American boy who loved football and pranks. He did not love his best friend, not like that. Well at least that was what he told himself to get through the day. Lately it was getting him nowhere, every little thing Nick did felt like he was covering Jeff in petrol and setting him a light. The way he'd twitch a small smile in Jeff's direction in the middle of a boring class or the way they sat so close that their thighs brushed in the cafeteria. Jeff couldn't handle being around his best friend anymore. It just broke his heart every time he realised they would never be together.
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
Santana would never be with Brittany. The blonde was way out of the Latino's league and Santana had hurt her far too much for them to function together. She'd blown her chance with the one girl that mattered. Told her she loved her then gone and dated a boy to improve her image. If Santana couldn't tell the school she was a lesbian, how would she be able to be with Brittany? She couldn't. It was impossible. The girl was too broken, she had too many scars. No one cared. They hated her and tore at her. Santana's life was filled with rumours and insults, lying and when nobody was watching, not even her mirror, crying.
And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
Trent was always trying to love people, so why did no one ever love him back? He's only five years old when it happens the first time. His Dad had told him he could never live up to expectations and had packed his bags. Trent hadn't seen him since. His mother was sympathetic and she tried to raise him on his own but the second he was old enough she sent him as far away from her as possible. Dalton, boarding school on the opposite side of the country. He liked Dalton, he really did, he had friends and he was a Warbler almost immediately and everyone was nice to him but he wasn't close to anyone. Nick and Jeff could spend hours talking about nothing and Wes and David found it physically painful to be apart. Even Flint had Pavoratti to be his best friend, no matter how strange that pairing was. Trent had no one. He put it all on the line over and over. He fell in love so fast, only to have his heart shattered into a thousand pieces. It's a drunk Nick that takes his first kiss. Trent had liked him for a year and there were fireworks in his head. Well there was until Nick had mumbled out a name, 'Jeff'. Trent had jumped back, shocked and hurt. That was in his sophomore year, and it happened over and over again. By the Time Trent graduated, he was detached and cold, he spent his entire life hiding from love so we wouldn't be hurt again.
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world
Dave Karofsky was brilliant when it came to hiding his emotions. Showing them however, was a completely different and infinitely more complex story. Unless they were talking about Kurt Hummel, Dave was very obvious about how he felt towards the fairy. He hated him. He hated the way he flounced around the hallways in glitter and heels and thought that he would get away with being individual and himself. Dave hated the way Kurt was allowed to flaunt around how different he was without getting slaughtered. If he acted the way Kurt did he would be killed. By his team, his peers, strangers, by his parents. Suddenly, Dave was way less open when it came to his emotions about Kurt Hummel. He covered how he felt with layer after layer of hate. Kurt would push at Dave, he would walk down the hall in skin-tight jeans and wiggle his hips from side to side. Dave would push back, with a slushee, or into the lockers only to get pushed by the other boy's razor sharp wit. Dave felt like he was in a constant game of tugger-war and after the kiss, the kiss that had made his head spin and knees weak, he knew he was losing.
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Artie used to be a happy child. He loved to run and play and most especially, dance. He had been doing it since he could remember and was only five when his mum took him to his first hip hop class. Artie wasn't very popular, the guys at school thought that dancing was for girls and apparently most of the girls did too, but he had friends. The other kids who danced in his classes were close to Artie and no one there was ever mean to him like they were at school. Before long, Artie was the best dancer in his class and dancing in groups with people years older than himself. At the dance studio he was constantly surrounded by people trying to be his friend. Then he had his accident. Artie could no longer dance, could no longer walk. Suddenly, all his friends disappeared. The second they found out he wouldn't dance the left him alone. When he is finally in high school he gets with Tina. He doesn't really see her like that, they were just companions in loneliness. Then she slips from his grasp because oh, she isn't lonely anymore and for a little while you feel abandoned, again. Suddenly Brittany whirls herself into your life and you don't miss Tina because you aren't lonely either. But Brittany is slowly slipping away to be with her best friend, and when she finally does, he knows he is going to be abandoned again.
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me
When Blaine came to Dalton, he spent weeks with his head down, not speaking more than two words to anyone. He wasn't strong like Kurt had been, instead Blaine was broken. He spent all his time figuring out how to not get noticed. His Vogue collection was hidden deep under his bed. He gelled his hair down and even whored out his music tastes, swapped indie for top 40 and started watching football. Eventually Blaine came out of shell a little. He started talking to people and some people started calling him a friend. He was dragged into Warbler auditions and before he knew it he was their lead crooner. None of the other Warblers knew why Blaine had begged administration for his own room. They didn't know that every day, after he shut that door he fell on the floor sobbing. The blazer always seemed to cover the thin scars covering his wrists.
And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
No one ever made Wes angry the way Thad did. Every little quirk infuriated the Asian boy. The way Thad would cock his head to the side when a Warbler said something particularly stupid made his blood boil. Wes's eyes would glare at the fingers tapping impatiently on the Council Table while the other Warbler's argued about something no one cared about. Thad's perfectly articulate way of speaking, combined with the way his voice rose when he was annoyed made Wes want to throttle Thad. Or, lately, the subtle amusement that would dance in his eyes as Blaine undressed Kurt across the room with his eyes had Wes screaming inside his head. The other Warbler's noticed too. Wes and Thad used to be friends. They were close and Thad was upset, hurt and confused as to why Wes was suddenly so furious with him. But when Thad went to Wes and David's dorm, got down on his knees and begged for Wes to forgive him for whatever he had down and Wes slammed the door in Thad's face, Thad gave up and ignored Wes pointedly for the rest of their senior year. He would never know that Wes was furious because he couldn't have the other boy. Wes would spend the rest of his life wishing he could die, or at least tell Thad how he really felt.
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world ... mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world