Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock.
A/N: Between this piece and 'Freak' it may seem as though I hate Sherlock; be advised that this is not the case. It's simply that Sherlock already gets so much love from the fandom whilst minor characters who act as his antagonists are routinely vilified. Even Moriarty gets more positive fics than Sally and Anderson do! To me, this seems massively unfair. Hence some of my Sherlock fics.
Warning: For those who might be triggered, please be aware that item #14 in this fic contains a few slurs.
1. His First Name
Girls run on both sides of the family – his dad was the first male child in his line born in a century – so his parents never prepared a boy's name. When to their great surprise he was born a 'he', they hastily changed his name from Sylvia to Sylvester. Needless to say, Sylvester Anderson prefers to go by his surname.
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2. His Childhood
His family is rather close-knit and gets together for all of the High Holidays. Growing up, this meant that Anderson was constantly surrounded and outnumbered by female cousins.
To differentiate himself from them, he tried to act as macho as possible. Considering that he was a pale, weedy, science-oriented kid, however, this was easier said than done. For this reason, he's a bit touchy about his masculinity to this day.
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3. His Greatest Fear
He doesn't have any problem with physically disabled people, but he's extremely uncomfortable around the mentally disabled. This is mainly because his greatest fear is that he will inherit his paternal aunt's schizophrenia. The thought of not knowing the difference between reality and non-reality terrifies him.
(This is also a large part of why he hates Sherlock Holmes.)
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4. Why He Went Into Forensics
Anderson became a forensic scientist because he loves science and thought he ought to use his talents to do a bit of good in the world. Having said this, he nearly went into palaeontology. (Dinosaurs are cool and no amount of mocking will make him change his mind.)
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5. His Politics
When it comes to politics, Anderson is a Lib Dem with strong Orange Book tendencies.
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6. How He Met His Wife
He loves science fiction. In fact, he met his wife, Christine Hughes, at a Star Trek convention. She'd been role-playing Nurse Chapel, whereas he, too self-conscious to wear a costume, had been dressed in ordinary street clothes. In retrospect, perhaps this should have been a warning sign about their innately different perspectives on life.
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7. The First Thing Sherlock Said to Him
The first time Sylvester Anderson met Sherlock Holmes, this is what the latter said: "OCD tendencies, middle-class upbringing, mediocre level of intelligence at best."
"Sorry?" Anderson had said, certain that he must not have heard the man correctly.
"Oh, no need to apologise," Holmes had replied with a languid wave of one pale hand. "I suppose you can't help how stupid you are. Hmm… your marriage has been troubled recently. You don't have anything in common anymore, and she wants children and you don't. Not that that's stopped the two of you from trying out several new sexual positions supposed to increase the likelihood of conception. Doggy-style last night, yes? By the way, she's gone off her birth control, not that you've noticed. If I were you, I'd go back to using condoms or get a vasectomy; she's very determined."
Their association only went downhill from there.
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8. How He Feels About Lestrade
He used to respect DI Lestrade. Ever since the man brought Holmes onto a crime scene, however, he's been steadily going down in Anderson's estimation.
Ages after that first crime scene, Lestrade still hasn't made Holmes an official consultant. If anyone ever finds out, their reputations will be ruined and their previously-solved cases in question. Does Lestrade do anything about this? No. Not the actions of a good boss, in Anderson's opinion.
Lestrade values Holmes above everyone else on the team, even to the point where he lets Holmes get away with belittling them all on a regular basis.
(Oh, Anderson's face is putting Holmes off, is it? Anderson supposes it must be the big nose; it's not like he and his haven't heard that one from posh blokes like Holmes before.)
Even worse, Lestrade lets Holmes get away with breaking the law. That dead cabby? Anderson examined him. And although the man died from a gunshot, it's clear that someone tortured him too. The only person on the scene was Holmes. Ergo, Holmes tortured a dying man in cold blood and then covered it up. When he brings his evidence to Lestrade's attention, however, the man only says that he'll 'have a talk' with Holmes. Holmes is never prosecuted. It all makes Anderson want to hit something – or someone.
Work isn't nearly as much fun as it used to be, but Anderson was here before Holmes, damn it. He refuses to let some jumped-up "consulting detective" drive him off. But the fact that Holmes made him lose respect for Lestrade? Is definitely another strike against him.
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9. Why He Doesn't Respect Sherlock
No one can convince Anderson that what Holmes does isn't lucky guesswork.
The freak – and the man is a freak of nature, politically incorrect though it may be to say so – may be smart in his own way, but it's not as though he has any proper training in detective or forensic work. And Anderson firmly believes that without the proper training, all a person can do is misapply theories and make guesses.
(The bit that really rubs Anderson the wrong way, though, is the implication that what Homes does is a science. 'The Science of Deduction,' his arse! Half the time, Holmes doesn't bother waiting for lab results or going through the steps of the Scientific Method. There's no higher crime for a self-proclaimed 'scientist' in Anderson's book. (And don't even get him started on Holmes' flat refusal to wear proper PPE at crime scenes… after all, who cares if the scenes get contaminated?))
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10. His Hobbies
Contrary to popular belief, his whole life doesn't revolve around Sherlock-bleedin'-Holmes. He doesn't normally spend his time off work complaining about the man or plotting ways to destroy him. Really.
(OK, so he does indulge in the occasional revenge fantasy or complaint, but that's perfectly normal when you've got Holmes as a colleague. Hell, even Lestrade will back him up on this one.)
He spends the majority of his off-hours playing football for an amateur club, reading pulp science fiction, reading science journals (both in English and in German), rooting for the Spurs, and avoiding his wife.
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11. How He Got Together With Sally
Cliché though it sounds, the first time he sleeps with Sally Donovan is an alcohol and adrenaline fuelled accident.
They've just wrapped up a particularly gruesome case and the two of them are sharing a couple of pints at the pub when things just… escalate.
It isn't about love or even really about lust (although there's no denying that Sally is rather fit). It's about comfort and being with someone who understands.
The morning after, Anderson wonders why he doesn't feel particularly guilty and then promptly feels guilty about his lack of guilt.
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12. How Sleeping With Sally Turned Into an Affair
The second time Anderson sleeps with Sally is about two months later. It isn't an accident, precisely, but it isn't premeditated either.
His wife is at a business conference out of town yet again and Sally is there and, well, one thing leads to another.
He still doesn't feel nearly as guilty as he suspects he ought to.
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13. Why He's Still With Sally
The third time Anderson sleeps with Sally is anything but an accident.
At this point, they've embarked on a full-blown affair. They're not in love or any of that rubbish, but… it's nice being with someone who understands his job. Someone who won't ask him for any more than he can give.
And sex with her is better than it's been with his wife in years.
(He firmly shoves any lingering guilt down and ignores it.)
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14. He Hates Bigots
When a bystander at a crime scene calls the victim – a badly mutilated thirty-something male with obvious Indian heritage – a "fucking Paki queer" who "deserved what he got," everyone freezes for a few seconds in disbelief.
Everyone, that is, except Anderson, who immediately snaps, "Oh shut up, arsehole!"
He longs to punch the bastard – punch him whilst still wearing gloves covered with the victim's bodily fluids – but he knows better. It might contaminate the crime scene, after all.
"Really," Holmes sneers superciliously, "Any idiot should be able to tell that this man is Indian, not Pakistani. Even Anderson here figured that out."
For a few seconds, Anderson and Holmes are in complete agreement. Then the reality of what Holmes said sinks in.
Holmes doesn't care that their victim was abused and beaten to death, probably in a hate crime. Holmes doesn't care that this bystander all but spat upon that victim. No, all he cares about is that the man got the victim's ethnicity wrong when he insulted him.
Anderson's hands clench into tight fists.
And Holmes used it as an opportunity to get in a jab at him! Of all the tasteless –
He takes a deep breath and forces himself not to punch Holmes – who is currently interrogating the bystander – either.
(All Holmes cares about is the fucking puzzle.)
Later that day, he calls Holmes 'freak' with more vitriol than usual. No one notices.
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15. He's a Hypocrite
He'll never realise that there's a large gap between his ideals and the way that he treats Holmes. His subconscious rationale, problematic as it is, is this: Holmes is a freak, but he chooses to behave the way that he does; people of colour, varying sexual orientations, and ability levels can't change how they're born.
Hypocrites rarely understand that they are hypocrites, after all, and Anderson is no different.