Gilbert was not a man, even if he felt like it. Nor a child, that was way beyond his life now… he lived in the middle; something confusing and disastrous. Before his father died it was like a river, a slowly current which carried him little by little; the anguish, pain, and sorrow transformed everything into lesson, something needs to be done and was done, the house, the fields and the farm, responsibilities that he could manage, that somehow kept his mind busy, instead of drowning in the "ifs" of his fathers' disease.
After, it was the ocean, the roaring ocean that shook his life from the roots. That's how his departure felt, an incredible force with his face and name that haunted him for days and nights. He wasn't ready for the parting, not the hugs, the food, the service and the pain that pierced his chest with every breath. Not Anne with his words (so full of truth and so cold at the same time). He needed to escape from Avonlea, otherwise, he will crumble in his father' memory without stopping.
Now that he's back, he knows he's not the kid that left, not a man either. He feels like a child when Bash or Mary scold him for something, he feels like a man at work, taking care of some minor injuries and colds, he feels like a little burst of childhood happiness when Anne calls him -Gil- and smiles like the sun.
The reactions of his body at the mere vision of Anne' legs make him feel like a man (a kind of weird man), the beating of his heart when she holds his arm warning him —Do not ever tell anyone about this sacred place, promise it, Gilbert Blythe! - In the new cabin (the one he helps to build by the way) is more a melody of shy looks and sweaty hands, something a child would feel.
He knew that the day when adulthood would present itself was close, to close sometimes. With that stage came the feelings that he can't control in front of the redhead, the constant apprehension in his belly when she dances between the trees and the inexplicable thirst that dries his body every time his so-called new friend takes of her socks to wet her feet in the water of the lake.
Someday, he thinks while looking at the scene outside the window, the frozen fields ant the fresh snow, someday he will be old enough to ask her, to take her with him to meet all those marvelous and exotic places that excited her so much. Someday he would be the one to take her socks from her feet, caressing the soft skin of her legs, someday would be a man with her would mean being a man to her and for her… and he can avoid been eager.