Hello guys! For those of you who read my other fic Identities, I'm sorry for the lack of updates lately, I'm still working on where to go with it. In the meantime, here comes a short oneshot about Akai Shuichi's and Miyano Akemi's relationship based on the song Dark Paradise by Lana del Rey.
Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan/Case Closed, it belong to Gosho Aoyama. I also do not own the song Dark Paradise, it belongs to Lana del Rey.
I've never written anything like this before so I'm really excited to share it with you guys so thanks for reading and please leave a review!
Enjoy!
Dark Paradise
by Lana del Rey
All my friends tell me I should move on
I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song
Akai Shuichi was standing at the hospital rooftop, thinking about that time, five years ago when he himself had briefly been a patient here.
He felt a dull ache in his chest, one he kept feeling, over and over again as he played every part of their first encounter in his mind.
It became like a manic and compulsive mind game for him, to reenact it in his head as perfectly and accurately as possible.
If he messed up one little word he started all over again, and this could go on for hours. He knew that they were worried about him, his colleagues, but he couldn't bear himself to let go, not yet.
Loving you forever, can't be wrong
Even though you're not here, won't move on
Simultaneously, he could see it in Jodie's eyes, all the time. She too, couldn't let go. And why would she?
He had promised her at first, had done his best to curb her worries, saying things like 'you're the only one for me' and 'I love you' and 'it's just a mission' and 'I just need to get closer to the core of the organisation' - until he couldn't anymore. Until those words were nothing but lies. Until she knew that too.
Because in his heart the girl with the long black hair and kind eyes had not only completely replaced but even crushed the picture of the blonde, fearless fellow agent of his.
Even after the worst thing imaginable had happened, he couldn't find solace nor comfort in Jodie and he couldn't bear to even look her in the eyes, as his mind was filled with the loss of his love, for what seemed like all eternity.
And there's no remedy for memory
Your face is like a melody, it won't leave my head
Your soul is haunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead
"I'm sorry" was the first thing Akemi Miyano ever said to him.
He was laying in a hospital bed with a bandaged head looking up at the woman with the incredibly kind eyes and soft, tender voice.
"No, I wasn't paying attention either" he had replied, trying to take away the responsibility she felt, even if just a little. After all he had purposely stepped out on the road and let himself be hit by her car, something he hadn't thought anything of at the time, but now felt remorse over as he saw the beautiful and kind woman worrying to the moon and back about him.
He felt a sting of pain when he remembered the fake name he gave her, how she kept using it till the very end, and how much he wished that things had been different. How he had hurt the woman who never hurt anyone, and how much he wished he hadn't.
But most of all he remembered how gracious and thoughtful she was, and how no matter what, she would tell him, hiding the tears behind a curtain of hair, that everything was fine.
Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
He took a deep breath before he pulled his phone out of his inner jacket, he opened the message like he had done so many times before, so many times that there wasn't even an active thought behind it, it was as if his fingers and the buttons on the phone just had a natural code to exchange.
And there it was. Although engraved in his brain, he looked at it and tried to read it in her voice.
"Dai-kun, if I'm able to escape from the organisation, will you go out with me as my real boyfriend?"
There's no relief, I see you in my sleep
And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me
There's no release, I feel you in my dreams
Telling me I'm fine
It hadn't been a hard decision, in fact it even felt like the only right thing to do.
His hair, his long black hair that reached his lower back, that reminded him of his lover's killer had to go.
He didn't feel anything when the hairs started to fall down around him as he kept cutting till there was nothing left. He didn't feel any attachment to it anymore, but most of all he felt no relief, the hair was gone but so was she, and she wasn't coming back. He felt his chest tighten as he gripped the scissors harder, refusing to look himself in eyes in the mirror.
They kept telling him that he needed to move on, but a part of him didn't want to believe it, that she was gone. And a bigger part of him still wanted to believe the question, wanted to believe that she would leave the organisation, unharmed and go out with him, as her real boyfriend.
Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
But that there's no you, except in my dreams tonight
He could hear the water flow in the fountain like it as yesterday, the clouds growing thicker in the sky, but most of all her back as she walked in front of him.
He couldn't bear to look her in the eyes when he replied "Yes" to her question.
"Dai-kun, FBI?" The joyless laugh of hers, as she tried to fight her tears back while saying he needed to come up with something better if he wanted to shook her.
Everything was echoing in his mind, the desperation in his voice as he asked her why she didn't leave him when she knew, the tears in her eyes when she almost offended said "Can't you tell without asking?"
She loved him. She loved him. She loved him.
And he loved her.
More than anything.
And now. She was gone.
She was gone because he had used her, because of his mistake, because of his mission. She was gone, but she would always live on in his mind, and in his dreams.
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
"Akai-kun"
"Akai-kun"
"Akai-kun"
The voice that had sounded so far away just a second ago, brought him back to reality, a reality which he had to remind himself, didn't include his beloved Akemi.
"Your phone has been ringing for a while"
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
The end.
XOXO