Lost in Translation

Aside from their origin and talent in skating, Viktor and Yurio didn't have a lot in common - one of them being a charismatic ice prince, the other a foul mouthed rascal. Still, there was one habit they shared: making ridiculously loud phone calls. Today was not the first time Yuuri wanted to ask them why they don't just open the windows and shout out – they would definitely be heard in Russia. Of course Yuuri never did. After all, he was polite. And reserved. Well - actually Viktor just never heard the shy knocking on his door, being too absorbed in entertaining every citizen in St. Petersburg.

Yuuri sighed and pulled the blanked over his head. In the room to his left, Yurio was busy shouting funny occurrences and insults in his phone, while in the room to his right, Viktor praised Ramen, Katsudon and Sake in a ludicrous loudness. Despite of being tired, Yuuri grinned. He felt a strange pride, whenever he noticed how amazed Viktor was by Japan. His Japan. Pushing down his blanket a bit, Yuuri listened into the darkness. He liked it, when Viktor and Yurio talked Russian. They did it quite seldom, actually only when they were alone or felt like nobody was paying attention to them. A shade of guilt swept over Yuuris smile. None of them knew that Yuuri understood every word.

Oh yes. In an act of juvenile mania, he started to learn Russian a few years ago. After all, Viktor was his beloved idol and Viktor was, in fact, Russian. So in Yuuris eyes, everything concerning Viktor's home country was phenomenal and praiseworthy. Things started, when a small group of European exchange students arrived at his school. With one of them, Yuuri happened to get along quite well and after a while the student, having Russian roots, agreed to teach him the basics of this puzzling language. Since then, Yuuri studied the rest on his own somehow, using books and language platforms online.

"Nope, food's shit here…. Well, you know Viktor. He's happy. Yeah… No… Whaddaya mean?... Of course I'm not spending all my money on clothes, what the fuck do you think I … gnh… One shirt. No… Hell, Shut up… It's a shirt with tiger print, I had to buy it, dumbass!"

Yuuri chuckled in his pillow, as he overheard Yurios voice through the thin walls. He actually wanted to tell them for a long time, mostly to impress Viktor with his language skills, but he just couldn't get himself to do it. Last time, at the Grand Prix to be exact, he mentioned to a Russian taxi driver, that he was able to understand Russian, just to introduce himself with the words: "Hi, I'm university and I'm 23 time old." Just thinking about that embarrassing situation kept Yuuri's motivation for exposure on a rather low level. Listening – sure. Talking – he'd rather die. It might be a bit unfair, regarding the fact, that Viktor and Yurio felt private and casual in their mother tongue, but Yuuri's feeling of guilt was rather vague. After all, he never eavesdropped on purpose. It just happened sometimes that he picked up a few snatches of their conversations, but they never talked about really important stuff anyway. Plus, as soon as they realized that Yuuri was around, they switched back to English instantly. Yuuri yawned. No, his conscience was not bad enough to keep him awake. He snuggled under his blanked, yawned again and closed his eyes, while trying to ignore the loud conversation surrounding him.

~oOo~

"Very good, boys. Yurio, short break. Yuuri, keep practicing these steps again, you still don't get the combination right!"
Yuuri listened to his coach and started anew. Those steps were honestly the most difficult ones he's ever had to perform. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Yurio collapsing exhausted on the rink, closing his eyes for a few moments.

"Well, well, so tired, Yurochka?" Speaking Russian, Viktor's voice always seemed to get darker.
Yurio growled. "And you're surprised about … what? Who sent me a bunch of dump photos from Georgi in the middle of the fucking night?"
"I couldn't know you didn't mute your phone, could I? But you have to admit they were gold. I wonder how Mila managed to take them." Viktor laughed and Yuuri messed up his steps. Viktor's gentle laughs always made him loosen his focus.

"Pah." Yurio huffed, making a brusque gesture. "You know Georgi. One bottle of Vodka and he`ll dance the Kasatschok naked on a balcony."
"He looked like he had more than just one bottle yesterday." Viktor chuckled and switched to English. "Yuuri, watch out for that sloppy leg. You look like a deer. Not the cute kind though. More the got-hit-by-a-truck-type."

Yuuri moaned, but obeyed. While circling the ice in wide ellipses, he ran over the combination in his mind countless times. Viktor and Yurio were busy talking again, but Yuuri was too far away to catch a word. He focused on his steps. Left, Right, weight on the outer blade, now the turn…

"You should be the last one to laugh, Viktor. Who was it again, that celebrated his Grand Prix victory with a jog around the hotel corridors, wearing nothing but a fucking bunny thong?"

Yuuri stumbled over his own feet. He caught himself in the last instant and fell into a random variation of steps, just to somehow keep on moving. He could feel Viktor's stare burning into his back. Worse than that was the picture hovering though his mind in the most sparkling colors. Viktor. The great, idolized, gorgeous Viktor. Standing in a hotel corridor. Wearing a bunny thong.

"What exactly are you doing, Yuuri?" Viktor's shouting sounded irritated.
Yuuri waved frantically over his shoulder. "Nothing, don't mind me. I just mixed up a few steps!" A foolish laughter crept up his throat und Yuuri fought hard to keep it down. Don't laugh. Don't let them notice you understood everything. Keep it low!
This time, it took a while, until Viktor engaged himself in the conversation again.
"It was a bet. You know how it is: A true gentleman honors debts, especially gambling debts."
"True gentleman, my ass. You were wasted again, weren't ya?"
Viktor laughed.
Yuuri stumbled.
Yurio snorted. "Does everyone turn into such an embarrassing fart, when getting old?"
"My, my… aren't we polite again today." A dangerous cheerfulness swung through Viktors voice. Yuuri peeped back and saw his coach typing leisurely on his phone. "Do you remember the day you pissed off Yakov so much, that he made you train wearing a women's costume? Pink, fluffy, cute…" Viktor waved his phone merrily. "Someone took photos back then, Yurochka. And now it's your turn to make an educated guess of who might have them on his phone."
Yuuris stifled laughter drowned in Yurios curses. Suddenly, he felt Viktor's eyes again; lurking, wondering. Yuuris nervousness rose. Had Viktor heard him laughing?

"Well - break's over, Yurio. When you have enough energy to express such an impressive range of insults, you should be able to perform your short program twice in a row without a breather." He spoke English. Yuuri felt strangely relieved. If Viktor really had noticed that Yuuri understood every word, he would have kept on talking Russian.

Wouldn't he?

~oOo~

Yuuri melted within the hot water of the Onsen. He was satisfied with today's performance, which had really improved a lot until the end of the training. He finally memorized the combination and even managed to perfectly skate it twice. Still, he felt somewhat restless. He knew he missed the moment when he could have told Viktor and Yurio safely about his language skills. Doing it now, he would have to take the blame of purposely eavesdropping on them. It would be hard to deny, especially since he knew about that incident concerning Yurio and a pink costume. The young rascal would probably skin him alive. Still, Yuuri couldn't stop himself from giggling foolishly. He closed his eyes and leaned back. The burning of his muscles vanished slowly, being replaced with pleasant relaxation. His thoughts drifted aimlessly and a few moments later he sunk into a light slumber.

"How the hell is he able to sleep like this?"
"Let him be."
"Look at him. A little bit of training and he's floating around like grease on a soup."
"You're not looking any better, Yurio."

When had Viktor and Yurio joined him? Yuuri tried to sit up, but his body refused to move just yet.

"He really keeps working hard." There was a gentle tone in Viktor's voice.
And a malicious one in Yurios. "Yeah. Soon he'll win a gold medal in the official Katsudon eating World Cup."
"That's not fair, Yurochka. He did lose a lot of weight. Sure, there is still some work to do, but he's almost there."
"I'm not listening."
"Especially the waist is in good shape again."
"I'm gonna barf, Viktor!"
"And his butt is perfect."

The exhaustion vanished in seconds. Yuuri jolted, splashing water everywhere. He felt dizzy at once, but somehow managed to fight it. Viktor and Yurio were sitting right in front of him – strictly speaking, only Viktor was sitting. Yurio was lying on the rim of the Onsen like a wet towel. Both watched him flabbergasted.
Relax, Yuuri. Relax. They spoke Russian. You shouldn't be able to understand. Just keep quiet, for heaven's sake!
Yuuri kept repeating those words in his mind over and over again, while he tried to put on a neutral expression. The fact, that Viktor came closer, didn't help him at all.
"Are you alright, Yuuri?" Viktor tried to grab his hand, but Yuuri crawled out of his reach.
"I'm fine!" Even he could hear the shrill ringing in his voice. "I … I just fell asleep and … must have had a stupid dream." Observing that Viktor tried to answer, Yuuri interrupted him swiftly. "I'll better leave, before I get dizzy. I … I've been soaking a bit long today." He could feel Yurio and Viktor staring at him wading through the hot water.
"Don't know about you, Viktor", Yurio snarled in Russian, just as Yuuri was entering the house, "but I think my ass is definitely better."
Yuuri had never wrapped himself into a towel faster.

~oOo~

Silence filled the room. Not a depressing, overwhelming silence. More the kind of silence that only occurs between friends, when no words are needed. It seemed a bit strange to Yuuri that such a harmonious silence could wrap itself around Yurio, Viktor and him. They were sitting around the table, relaxed thanks to the bath, tired from a hard training and stuffed with rice and tempura. Yurio dozed off, his head laying on top of the table, Viktor drank Sake while fiddeling around with his smartphone and Yuuri stared at the muted TV, watching a stupid game show. Everything felt amazingly cosy. Yuuri exhaled contentedly and stretched a bit, until stifled laughter caught his attention. Half asleep, Yurio had shifted and started nibbling his fingernail, now giving the impression of childishly sucking on his thumb. Viktor wouldn't be Viktor, if he didn't take this chance and so he amused himself by taking tons of photos in a dozen different angles.
"Come on, Viktor, stop it." Yuuri said with a lazy smile. "You know how mad he gets, when someone takes his picture without asking for permission." Especially a picture like that…
Viktor smirked and turned his phone around to show Yuuri the last photo he took. He had ran a filter over it to tone it pink and framed it with cute little hearts. "Isn't he kawaii?"
Yuuri wasn't sure, what was more entertaining to him: the silly picture, or Viktor's newest habit of using random Japanese words.

Yurio stirred. "Mh… whaddaydoin…." Mumbling, he casted a sleepy look, which turned into a glaring stare, when he noticed the phone in Viktor's hands. "Did you just take a picture of me, asshole?"
This time, Yuuri allowed himself to laugh. The situation was funny enough even without language skills, so his laughter wouldn't rise suspicion.
"I`m warning you, Vitya. Delete that photo, or else…"
Viktor beamed happily. "Or else what? You'll write naughty words on my face, when I fall asleep?"
An evil grin flew over Yurio's Face. "Naughty words? Fuck this shit. I'll just need to remember Georgi about the last bet you made with him."
"Eh… bet?" Viktor could be enchantingly clueless. Yuuri bit his lip to stop himself from smiling.
"Yeah. The bet. The one both you fucking drunkards forgot about the next morning. And the one you lost, by the way. Let me give you a hint: The loser has to show his last performance again, in front of the whole team." Yurio turned into an epitome of a little devil. "Naked, that is."

The sound of Yuuri crashing into the ground after his arms refused to support him was ridiculous loud. He laughed awkwardly while he struggled to sit up again, trying hard to look as innocent as possible. "Slipped a bit", he explained in desperate silliness and felt his cheeks turn into an amazing range of fifty shades of red. Yurio didn't look at him at all, he was busy typing like a maniac on Viktor's phone, which he somehow managed to get a hold of. Viktor on the other hand looked at him way too closely. "Are you really sure, you're fine Yuuri?"
Nodding madly, Yuuri answered. "Yes, yes, I'm totally fine. A bit tired maybe, but that's all!"
"Hm." Viktor seemed skeptical. He sipped on his Sake, keeping his eyes fixed on Yuuri. "You've been acting strange all day. There must be something…"
Viktor. Viktor on ice. Naked. The picture popped up so fast in his mind that Yuuri flinched. His whole face flushed. "N-n-n-n-o, everything i-i-is fine! I s-s-swear!" He leaped up suddenly. "I'll just go and get a glass of water. Any-… anyone else thirsty?" Despite his polite question, he left the room too fast for anyone to answer. Reaching the kitchen, he drank a few sips of ice-cold water and moaned. What should he do? Go back? He didn't want to. But how should he explain himself tomorrow, without giving a perfect impression of a mere idiot? Yuuri brushed a stubborn hairstreak from his forehead, filled his water glass again and started to make his way back as slow as possible without walking backwards.

He could hear Viktor and Yurio talking, before he even opened the door. After listening for a moment, he gave a sigh of relief. They were obviously not talking about him. His strange behavior didn't seem to irritate them much. As inconspicuous as possible, Yuuri slipped inside the room, sat down as far away as his politeness would allow him to and grabbed the remote to turn up the volume. Watching TV would be the best way to stop himself from further eavesdropping on Viktor and Yurio.

"… Yakov … training … Mila's grumpy…"
"… always grumpy … fucking bad music…"

Over the noise of the show he was watching, Yuuri could only catch a few words of the conversations. Slowly, he started to relax again. He really had to tell Viktor and Yurio soon, that he was able to understand them. The longer he hesitated, the worse it would get. In the end he would look like a creepy stalker. Well, he would tell them tomorrow… maybe.

"I really have to push Yuuri a bit more."

Despite his decision, Yuuri couldn't help but listen when he caught his name. At least he withstood the temptation to mute the TV, even if his hand was twitching visibly towards the remote.
"That's what I've been saying the whole time", Yurio griped. "Miss Piggy needs to slim down."
Viktor shook his head gracefully. "That's not what I meant." He sipped at his Sake again. "I guess I have to treat him harder; push him to the edge more often. He does have amazing stamina."
Yuuri melted deeper into his hoodie, hoping it would conceal his glowing ears.

Yurio sank back with a little sigh. "I don't get it."
"Me neither. How did he train to get that much stamina? I'm really…"
"Not that, birdbrain." Yurio snorted. "I don't get why you're here. What makes the little piglet so interesting to you?"
Viktor smirked happily. "The stamina and his nice butt?"
Yurio let out a strange sound, something between gagging and suppressed laughter, while Yuuri tried to magically fold himself completely into his hoodie.

"Honestly... On a gay-scale from Vladimir Putin to Freddie Mercury, you're not even listed anymore." Yurio shook his head. "Do you at least sometimes think with the upper part of your body?"
Chuckling, Viktor shrugged his shoulders. "Well, life is hard when you have such a tasty Katsudon right under your nose every day."
"Life?" Yurio asked cheekily "Or you?"
Viktor grinned.
Stay put. Don't you run away now. Don't let them realize you understood that. Pull yourself together!
Yuuri shifted around restless. He knew he had to get out of here. But how should he explain his reddened face, hysteria written all over it? He had to wait. At least until he could neutralize his expression a bit. Hopefully, Viktor and Yurio would stop talking about him in such an embarrassing way.

"I think I know how to help Yuuri finding his Eros", mumbled Viktor dreamily, while the hope inside Yuuri died a lonely and miserable death.
"Well good luck with that" Yurio spat, while fishing for his insistently blinking cellphone with one foot. "Not much to gain for you, I guess. He's probably sexually as exciting as an ironing board."
Yuuri gasped, but managed to deaden the sound by biting his lips hard. Surely, his ears would start bleeding soon.
Viktor's merry laughter filled the air. "Done right, Yuuri will blossom under my hands, like a thirsty rosebud under a soft summer rain."
"Do you come up with crap like that all by yourself, or do you read that somewhere?" Yurio's voice brimmed with stifled laughter. "We're still talking about a cutlet bowl here."
Shut up. Both of you. Please!
Silence. Thankful silence, in which Viktor and Yurio seemed to be lost in thoughts for a while.
"You weren't serious, right? He's a 23 year old virgin." Exclaimed Yurio suddenly and Yuuri felt his toes curl.
"Ah", Viktor brushed over his lower lip with one finger, "that's when they're best…"
Dear God…
"I didn't know you're into whining sissies." Typing on his mobile, Yurio didn't even bother to look up.
Viktor clicked his tongue. "Did you just imply I've got no talent? Trust me. He'll whine only at the beginning. But once I've got him pinned down…"
"…you'll fuck him, until he squeaks?" Yurio asked obligingly, before giving away a harsh laugh. "Come on, he would faint before you'd even be able to touch one of his little fatty rolls."
"I'd appreciate that. Leaves my hands free for other things, instead of needing to hold him down."
Yuuri hammered on the remote, trying to turn the volume up to its maximum. He could feel Viktor's eyes laying on him and fought hard with himself to ignore that fact somehow.
"And when he wakes up, he has no clue why his ass is sore." Yurio's voice snapped in malicious amusement. "Would be awesome to see him stumbling over the ice the next day."
His whole body started aching. Yuuri wasn't sure if it was due to him cramping the whole time or if he magically learned to feel imaginary pain. He had to get out of here. Immediately.
"Hold your panties, Yurio." Viktor shook his head with a serious expression, but couldn't keep his voice from cracking in delight. "One must be very careful when it comes to dealing with virgins. They tend to break easily. First, I'd strip him of his unflattering clothes, of course. One layer after another." He went silent for a moment, before mumbling under his breath. "I really do hope he wears black underneath."
One part of Yuuris brain shrieked hysterically why for heaven's sake he chose black shorts this morning, the other part of his brain froze in panic.
"And finally, when he's all naked…"
"…then you'll fuck him, until he squeaks?", proposed Yurio helpfully.
Viktor snickered. "Slow down, Yurochka, slow down. Grant me a bit of fun too, will you? I like toying around, especially with little virgins. They're always so adorably sensitive. I'd love to use my tongue and my fingers to …"

"AAAAAH!"
Screaming, hands wrapped over his ears, Yuuri jumped on his feet. "Stop it! Both of you! Stop talking about me like that! That's… that's… My God!" Yuuri panted as he felt the atmosphere thicken. Viktor and Yurio stared at him intensely. Yurio with burning arrogance, Viktor with dangerous satisfaction.

"You really were right", Yurio said slowly, voice trembling between amusement and rage. "The cutlet does understand everything."
Yuuri opened his lips, trying to answer, but only managed to give away an embarrassing whimper.
Lazily, Viktor leaned his chin on his hand and scrutinized Yuuri from head to toe. "He gave up rather soon, didn't he? What a pity. It would have been fun to keep this farce up a while longer."
Yuuris eyes flew restless back and forth between them. "That… that was a… trap? You … set that … up?"
"Bah…" Yurio gagged. "you really think I would talk with Viktor about shit like that?"
He wasn't sure if he should feel embarrassed or relived. As soon as Viktor stood up and came closer, though, a feeling of anxiousness took over.
"I'm your coach, Yuuri. I'm responsible for you and your actions. How should I teach you that eavesdropping is really impolite?" Viktor thought about it for a moment. "Ah, I know!" His smile was soft, his eyes shined, but Yuuri could feel the air freezing. "How would you like to train tomorrow, Yuuri: naked, or in bunny thong?"

Autor's Note:
I reeeally hope it's not as bad as I think it is. As you probably noticed, English is not my native language, so I'm sorry if I screwed up a bit. If there are native speakers out there, who would like to help me, I'd be happy!
I hope you still have fun, even with a few mistakes. :)