Murphy lawless
It was that time again; Friday the 13th had come around again. While other people would be careful not to encounter black cats, break mirrors or walk under ladders, Milo appeared strangely calm. He did not know why, but Friday 13th was the only day of the year when he was not afflicted by his usual curse. No falling debris, no runaway cars, nothing. While he was normally not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, the last time that Murphy's Law had been diminished for him did not have a happy ending. In the end, he resolved to investigate why this was.
"I don't see what the big deal is. If I were you, I'd be grateful for a break from Murphy's Law" Zack reasoned. Melissa, however, had a different opinion.
"Aren't you the least bit curious. Isn't it ironic that the unluckiest kid alive has nothing happen to him on the unluckiest day of the year?" Melissa probed.
"It is an unusual coincidence" Shane responded.
"In my experience, around Milo, there is no such thing as coincidence" Amanda countered.
"I may be a newcomer to the whole 'Murphy's Law' group, but isn't this best left alone?" Mark interjected. Milo was too busy on the phone to various friends to answer any of the group. Once he hung up, he finally addressed them all.
"My fellow research colleagues have agreed to assist me in this project of mine. All we need to do is meet them in their backyard" Milo stated.
"We're going to research this in someone's backyard? You didn't call 'them' did you?" Zack asked.
"Them and some others, and all are meeting us there, so let's go" Milo concluded, and they all set off, all the while Zack and the others were wondering who Milo roped into this endeavour, although a few might have guessed the answer already. They arrived at a house on Maple Drive, and suspicions were already confirmed.
"Seriously, you got Phineas and Ferb to help you? You realise they're still in elementary school?" Zack inquired.
"Yes, but how many elementary schoolers can do the things they can? I'm surprised they haven't been fast-tracked to M.I.T., what with their track record" Milo answered. Milo and the others entered the backyard, where Phineas, Ferb and their friends were waiting, the equipment had already been set up.
"Milo, there you are. Right on time. The others should be here soon" Phineas greeted.
"Others. There are others? Who else did you call with this?" Shane wondered, and soon enough, a portal opened up in the backyard, and out popped Star and Marco.
"Really? I would think a princess would have better things to do" Amanda said bluntly.
"Well, we needed to get out of the castle, since it's being rebuilt, again" Star replied.
"Again?" Melissa quizzed.
"You don't want to know" Marco dismissed. Star took one look at the equipment the boys had set up and had many questions.
"The war bunker was one thing, but there is no way you could've set all this up in the space of half a morning. Are you guys sorcerers? Warlocks? Wizards in training?" Star interrogated Phineas and Ferb.
"Star, we're just kids" Ferb said, using his one line for the day.
"Just kids? Right" Star responded disbelievingly.
"Star, we talked about this. They really are just kids. Gifted kids, but kids nonetheless" Marco countered.
"What I don't get is if you have all this, what do you need us for?" Star asked Milo.
"That's easy. If technology can't find the cause, then maybe magic can. I'm just covering all my bases" Milo explained. Phineas then went on to explain his invention.
"Don't be scared, Milo, but we based this on that capsule Bill had you trapped in during the war. This one won't send you into a dream state from which you'll never return, but it will take readings of Murphy's Law activity so Baljeet can do his math magic" Phineas assured Milo, who then strapped himself into the device, and it began its work.
"It would help if we had the original scan data from that time you were held at the Excalibur Institute, for comparative purposes" Baljeet added.
"I think the scientist they 'contracted' to build the original device lives around here. Maybe he saved a copy" Shane suggested.
"You mean the pharmacist who lives in that weirdly shaped building? I know where that is. We can go and get those numbers you need" Buford offered., and took Shane, Mark and Marco to get the scan data.
"What about those potions we had you on for demonic possession sickness? They suppressed the Law in some way, but I never knew how" Star wondered.
"Yeah, why was that?" Zack asked. Star went back to Mewni and got Phineas and Ferb some samples of the medicine Milo took at that time, to put through chemical analysers they had prepared. Under normal circumstances, Star would also consult with either Moon or Eclipsa, as both knew more about magic and curses than she did, but Moon was still missing and Eclipsa had gone off with Glossaryck, presumably to be with her monster love, Globgor.
"I do know one other person we can ask about curses, my ex, Tom. He's a demon, so he might know a thing or two about this" Star suggested and went to the underworld to get him. A few seconds later, she returned with Tom in tow.
"OK, now I've seen everything" Melissa stated.
"Just so we're clear, I did not put this curse on him" Tom said, defensively.
"We know, we're just trying to see how chronic bad luck takes a back seat on the unluckiest day of the year" Zack assured Tom.
"I know all about this kid. Star told me about him. Honestly, I'm surprised you're still alive, considering what you go through on a daily basis. Half the reason I came was to see if you were real" Tom addressed Milo.
"It's a full-time job" Milo answered. At this time, Phineas' invention had finished taking its readings and Phineas gave them to Baljeet to crunch the numbers.
"While we're waiting for Baljeet to finish, we can run those tests on the potion samples Star brought" Phineas stated, and ran the samples through his chemical analyzer.
While that was all taking place, Buford led Shane, Mark and Marco to the residence of the scientist who created the original device.
"That building does not look structurally sound" Marco observed.
"We build an entire research complex in our backyard and this is what you have trouble believing?" Buford asked.
"This is true" Marco submitted, and they went inside. They took the lift to the top, where Doofenshmirtz resided and Buford pressed the doorbell. Sure enough, Doofenshmirtz answered.
"If you're here to be my goon again, the position is no longer available. I don't do the 'evil' thing anymore" Doofenshmirtz said to Buford.
"His goon?" Shane remarked.
"Long story. We're not here for that" Buford replied.
"We're here to ask if you have the original scan data from the device you created. I believe it was called the Murphy's Law Extract-inator" Mark clarified. Doofenshmirtz was clearly annoyed at this request.
"I am not getting dragged back into Excalibur's schemes. You hear me! I know you people have put a monitoring device somewhere in this room!" Doofenshmirtz started yelling around the room.
"We're not with Excalibur. This is an independent operation. We just want to find out why Murphy's Law takes a back seat on Friday 13th" Shane explained.
"Is that all? Why didn't you say so? I have it here. I feel like I owe it to Milo, you know, after he saved the world. He's a good kid, as far as walking disaster areas go" Doofenshmirtz said calmly. He handed the boys what they needed. Marco was surveying his surroundings, not quite believing what he saw.
"You make these inventions regularly?" Marco inquired.
"I used to. Before I taught science to high-schoolers, I built these elaborate inventions to help me take over the Tri-State Area. But I don't do that anymore, for reasons" Doofenshmirtz recollected.
"You were able to build these on a pharmacist's salary?" Marco pressed.
"Again with the pharmacist. Other scientists wear lab coats, you know. I could be a doctor or a rocket scientist. But no, everyone thinks I'm a pharmacist" Doofenshmirtz ranted.
"We got what we came for. We should leave before he goes on and on" Buford interjected, and the boys left the building.
"Don't sweat what happened back there, red-belt. Everyone makes that mistake" Buford assured Marco.
"No big deal. When I was with Excalibur, Albert told me that guy funded his inventions with alimony checks from his ex-wife" Shane added.
"Marco, please promise me, when you become King of Mewni, that you'll never use the Royal Treasury on silly things like that" Mark requested. Marco became flustered.
"Isn't it a little early to talk about me becoming king?" Marco asked awkwardly.
"Yes. Yes, it is" Buford answered.
"But in all seriousness, how did you end up courting a princess?" quizzed Shane.
"By being her live-in best friend first. I really have no secret when it comes to girls" Marco responded.
"Honestly, I don't think anyone does" commented Mark.
"Speaking of girls, I can't help but notice Isabella really likes Phineas" Marco observed.
"Welcome to the club of 'people who know Isabella has a crush on Phineas'. Population; everyone except Phineas" Buford replied.
"What! How can he not know?! It's so obvious. I thought he was meant to be smart" Marco said.
"Preaching to the choir, dude" Buford comforted, and they pressed on to the Flynn-Fletcher house.
Back at the backyard, Phineas was going over the chemical analyser readings on the potion samples and was close to a breakthrough.
"I think I've isolated the key ingredient to the suppression of Murphy's Law. It's the ground up Boggaba leaves" Phineas suggested.
"Witch doctors in the underground use Boggaba plants in their incence to introduce what is called an 'anti-curse' into a given area, to ward off evil spirits" Tom outlined.
"But how does that help? As far as I know, I have never had a Boggaba houseplant" Milo pointed out.
"If the plant excretes some kind of sap or if anything is present in their seeds, it could help explain why your curse is abated on this particular day" Phineas theorised. At this point, Baljeet was finished with the scan data from the machine and Buford, Shane, Mark and Marco were back from their excursion.
"We have the original numbers. Do your thing, Baljeet, so we can all go home" Buford offered, and Baljeet was back to his number crunching. Tom, however, was busy in thought.
"These witch doctors I mentioned have a particular tradition they exercise on Friday 13th. I only just remembered it. It involves their Boggaba plants, but I'm still trying to remember how it goes" Tom postulated. Baljeet had just finished his comparison of the two sets of scan data.
"According to these readings, you have a higher histamine count on the Friday 13th data than you did when you were first experimented on. Do you suffer from hayfever?" Baljeet inquired.
"Not particularly. Even if I did have a reaction, I always have meds on hand in my backpack for either myself or anyone who needs them" Milo answered. Suddenly, a light clicked on in Tom's head.
"I think I can explain this. I'll be back in a minute" Tom said, and portalled out. Seconds later, Tom portalled back in.
"I just asked my folks about the tradition. The witch doctors release the spores of Boggaba plants on Friday 13th as a good luck ritual and open portals so they can reach all corners of the multi-verse. Luckily, the spores cannot mix with other plants not native to Mewni, but they still have the same effects as the leaves. They're harmless, so no-one notices, but if every Friday 13th, Milo has been exposed to Boggaba spores, it would explain a lot" Tom finalised.
"Can these Boggaba leaves be used to formulate a cure?" Amanda asked.
"The mixing of this particular ingredient is very complex. Too much can be lethal, but too little and the curse gets stronger from fighting the formula to the point where it can't be stopped" Tom clarified.
"Like anti-microbial resistance. A very fine line indeed" Phineas mused.
"Now we know why. The question is, what do we do with this information?" Melissa asked. Milo came to a decision.
"We do nothing. Things are fine the way they are. I see no reason to tempt fate. Besides, life with a curse can be fun sometimes. You just have to know how" Milo concluded.
"Still, the option's there. You just have to ask" Star offered. Milo considered it for the future, but for now, he was content to let things be. After everyone said their goodbyes, Milo turned to his friends.
"You know, I've been thinking. What if these spores suddenly become useless at fighting Murphy's Law over time? What options will we have then?" Milo wondered.
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, I'm tired. Let's just go to bed" Zack answered, and everyone retired for the night, eager to welcome Saturday 14th when they woke up.
Author's note: I swore to myself I would not miss another opportunity to write a Friday 13th fic for Milo. I mean, both the day and Milo himself are manifestations of bad luck. The explanation may seem a little rushed, but I've been pressed for time and this was the best I could think of. The usual disclaimers, I own nothing. Dan and Swampy own Milo Murphy's Law and Phineas and Ferb, Daron Nefcy owns SVTFOE and Disney owns them all. Enjoy.