Apples, apples, I want apples
I'm Gwaine, a knight, and I need food
Don't give me berries, don't be prude
I need a juicy yet crunchy fruit that I do desire
Not some horrible tangy mess. No sire
Apples, apples, a penny for an apple
I go on quests and win fair maidens
But they cannot beat the fruit that makes my stomach laden
It is what I crave each second each day
If I don't get one, I'll go astray
Apples, apples, give me apples
I deserve it; I am worth it for I am brave
It's a healthy round snack that I cannot delay
It fills me with fibre and a positive mood
You think I am joking, please, don't be rude
Apples, apples, one day, one apple
If I eat them it will keep Gaius away
And it will keep me focused on the enemies' fray
If I'm lucky I may sneak in one for lunch
I can taste it now, that solid crunch
Apples, apples, I need apples
I can feel myself starting to go mad
Cheese that tastes like apple pie, now that's sad
I'm starting to see apples everywhere
On the tables, even on the stairs
Apples, apples, I steal an apple
Oh god they're chasing me down the street
I terrorize the village before I fall on my feet
The guards they arrest me, Percy come save me
I see an apple, it's coming, oh wait, it's a lady
Apples, apples, Arthur, please apples
Don't tell me I've lost my mind
I'm your most courageous knight I think you'll find
What do you mean I have to go see Gaius
An apple a day, should keep him away, I can't be his client
Apples, apples what have you done you apples?
Now I've turned crazy because you're delicious
I cannot be a knight, because I am 'dangerous'
How can wanting food be a risk to others?
They are the mad ones not this young soldier
Apples, apples I hate you, apples
They've let me out because I now hate you
But you and me know that's not true
I tricked them because I am Gwaine
I am definitely definitely not insane
Apples, apples, I love you apples,
Come treat me with your bitter sweet taste
You are the best fruit, you're not to waste
Come darlings; let me take a bite of you once more…
Oh shit Arthur just walked through the door
Hi, so I decided to write that poem spontaneously, poor Gwaine, the ending is he is banned from eating apples ever again : (