I don't own Grey's Anatomy.
So this is a story I wrote while I was drunk and sad. Bad combo but it is what it is.
Callie pulled into the parking lot and turned her car off. With everything that had been happening lately she hadn't time to come here as often as she'd liked. She sat with her hands on the steering wheel with a grip that whitened her knuckles.
"I can do this," she reassured herself. Letting out a slow, deep breath she grabbed the flowers that lay on her passenger seat, a haunting reminder of what it was she was there to do. She gathered her purse, the flowers, and her courage and exited her car.
The Latina made her way to a beautiful tree way in a far off corner of the property. The tree was huge and it was obvious that it had been around for ages. On ones of the tree's massive branches was a wooden swing that Callie had insisted be put up when she first saw the tree. She'd even purchased the swing herself. It was a rare sunny day in Seattle and the sun was taunting her with every step she took.
Callie placed the flowers and her purse on the swing before going to longingly trace her fingertips along the engravings on the smooth marble.
"Hey," she whispered. "I know I haven't been around a lot lately. Thinks have been pretty hectic these last few weeks. You should see Sofia now. She's beautiful and honestly… if it weren't for her I doubt I could have made it this far.
She has so much of you in her. Everyone says she's a mini-me but I see so much of you in here. She's definitely a daddy's girl. Her nose, smile and your laugh are all very Sloan-y. I know, I'll be sure to watch her closely because that shit-eating Sloan smirk is dangerous!"
The wind picked up and Callie scoffed as she pulled her signature leather jacket closer around her body.
"Don't give me that. Everyone knows that smirk is trouble! I made sure she knows it's yours though and that you love her. She has pictures of you all over the apartment and I gave her some of your things. She has your pillow, you know that good one you took from the Archfield? Yeah, our daughter's sleeping on na hotel pillow but it still kinda smells like you. I caught her sitting in the doorway to your room ones. That damn near killed me,"
Tears pricked her eyes but she was able to push them away after a few minutes and a deep breath.
Callie recalled how not long after the accident she'd taken Sofia to Mark's to give Arizona some space. While making she was making lunch, Sofia had wandered off and Callie found her sitting in the doorway to Mark's room, starting at his bed.
"What's wrong, Sof?" Callie had asked but the toddler just pointed. That afternnon was the first of many that they had lunch and nap time in Mark's bed.
"I'm sorry I didn't bring her. Call me selfish but I needed you right now. Hell, I need you now probably more than ever!
Things are rough right now. I'm living at your place since Arizona is at ours," Callie paused as she refered to the apartment she and Arizona had once shared as "ours". Technically it was still theirs but she hadn't been there since the afternoon after the storm. That afternoon, as soon as Callie got off of work, she went to the apartment and spent the better part of four hours transferring her and Sofia's stuff across the hall. She'd even paid a neighboring teen to help her move the really difficult things. She had mostly grabbed Sofia's things so if she ever needed anything she just used her key to go and grab whatever it was of hers that she needed while Arizona was at work.
"Even after all this time I couldn't sell your place. I'm glad I didn't though. Some of your things are in boxes but let's just say that I ran out of tequila before I could finish packing the rest up. Speaking of tequila, Mer and Derek had a little baby boy. He is so cute! His name is Bailey Mark Shepard. Derek said that if you knew that his son was named after you that your head would swell. It was actually Mer's idea. She picked Bailey because it was Miranda who saved Mer's life. Yeah, what can I say? All Seattle Grace mothers' have difficult births. Well, now it's Sloan-Grey Memorial but you understand. First Bailey almost lost her little boy because her ex was being operated on across from the bomb that nearly blew us all up the Twister Sisters each had a miscarriage. Next was Sofia and I and we both know how that went. Oh, wait! Before that was Sloan and her little boy. Hmm, Sofia has a nephew older than her somewhere out there. Don't worry, I e-mail Sloan every so often. She's family. She's your daughter and you were… are family. You are family," Callie cleared her throat, trying to mask how voice cracked on the last sentence.
"Anyways, Mer had a touch birth with Bailey and Miranda saved them with NO LIGHTS! Then his breathing and stats weren't what they should have been so they took him to the NICU. All the machines were losing power because of course we never catch a break. Parents were bagging their own kids! Can you imagine? It was Arizona, Karev, a new intern, Jo, and La… "Callie stopped instantly. With a deep sigh to steady herself she continued. "Lauren. Lauren is the surgeon that Arizona cheated on me with. I… it hurt. It hurts more than when George cheated on me with Izzie," A dark laugh escaped the Latina's full red lips.
"I need to beware of blonds. I marry George and ya know, I really did love him. I didn't think anything through, but I did love him. He however, cheats on me with Izzie. They end things not long after and she gets cancer and marries Alex. She lives but George gets hit by a bus, thus adding to the line of death that seems to follow the employees of that hospital. But after George dies Erica, the BLOND, makes me realize that I can rock the field for both teams. She has to leave me too though because I stood up for Izzie. I mean, come on! I was her glasses. Right after Erica was my small infatuation with Sadie but none of that mattered once I met Arizona. She spread through me like cancer. She is a form of malignant cancer. I didn't notice until it was too late and when I finally realized what was happening she was in every part of me. For the longest time she was all my life revolved around.
Then the kids argument happened and I felt my heart break in two right inside my chest. I was born to be a mother but I didn't know myself until I met Arizona. How do you choose between who you were born to be and the love of your life? I followed my uterus and that was the first time she hurt me. The shooting happened though and as that lunatic stood there with that gun and I comforted Ruby, while staring into fearful, tear filled baby blue eyes, I realized that I needed her. My arms and loins were empty without a baby but my heart and life was empty without her. We got back together and I was the happiest woman alive, until she left me at the airport for what was supposed to be a three year ordeal. There was the second time she hurt me. Later I found out I was pregnant and while the circumstances were… unexpected, I was so happy! Then Arizona accepted it and we became a large, dysfunctional, yet still stable family system.
That was until the Boise trip when the plan his that mountain. Everyone was robbed of something that day, even those not on the plane. Arizona said I didn't lose anything but she's wrong. When news about the crash finally reached us I was at home with Sofia. She was already asleep but I woke her up and held her and cried. I cried for so long and so hard I had to put Sof down so I could run to the bathroom. I had to keep it together though because she needed me and my dad was threatening to come. Barbara and Daniel needed updates too so I had to stay positive and strong. I've been scared before but that feeling was unbearable.
The first chopper went scope out the forest but didn't find anything. I later learned that this was the time that the flare gun jammed up. I find myself wondering what would be different if the gun had worked. Lexie's body would have remained in one piece, Yang's PTSD wouldn't have been so bad, Derek's nerve damage wouldn't have been so bad, the infecting in Arizona's leg wouldn't have spread to the point of amputation and you… you'd be here. I'd be in your apartment right now with a huge glass of wine, watching Sofia play with her dad. Instead I'm in a cemetery talking to a stone marking the end of my best friend's life.
The chopper didn't rescue ya'll and you all stayed out there in the cold wilderness. Beautiful Little Grey was ripped apart by wild animals. Derek's nerves were damaged to the point that no one was sure if he would ever operate again. Cristina started awake for the four days. She tried to keep everyone awake. She picked bugs out of my wife's leg. She fought animals off of Lexie. She performed surgery on you and kept having to revive you. She had to drink her own urine. Her PTSD put her in a catatonic state. Meredith slept and when she wasn't sleeping she was crying. The interns called her Medusa because she was so mean. I guess that was her way of mourning. The infection in Arizona's leg festered to a point that it almost took her life and her lungs were full of blood. We had to amputate it. And you… you kept slipping. You kept saying you were going see Lexie and that's how they found you. Imagine how terrifying it was when we were told that there was a casualty but we didn't know who it was. We were left wondering for days. For days I didn't know if you and Arizona were dead or. My whole world, aside from Sofia, was stranded on the side of a mountain and I was powerless!
I was powerless as I lost everything to that mountain. You came home but just long enough for me to say bye because you died! You died and I cut off Arizona's leg because I couldn't lose you both! Sofia couldn't lose two parents. But I lost you both anyways. The moment I gave Alex permission to saw that leg off, the woman I married died. I might as well have sent her off to be disposed of my medical waste too. She said that I lost nothing but I lost everything. I'm all Sofia has left. There are days were I just want to give up but when I look at our sweet baby and I have a reason to fight on,"
Callie shook her head and looked at her shoes. "I held your hand. As it happened I mean. I held your hand and when the beeping stopped I kissed you bye for me and Sof and I cried. I don't even know how long I cried or how I got home. I don't remember much, honestly. I was on auto pilot for weeks. I'd wake up on your couch, go check on Sofia and get her ready, check on Arizona, go to work, go home, check on Arizona, take care of Sof, then I went back to your place once she was asleep."
Callie sat on the swing and waited a few minutes before speaking again.
"Things got better. I still miss you but things for better for Arizona and I, or so I thought. The night of the super storm was when Arizona slept with Lauren Boswell. You should have probably tried to sleep with her if you weren't in love with Lexie and you know… she actually liked men. But Arizona slept with a blond woman she knew for three days and I live in my dead best friend's apartment.
Once again Callie didn't say anything. She just let the wind blow around her as she pushed her feet against the ground, rocking back and forth in the swing.
"I miss this," came a soft whisper. "I'd much rather it if you were here to tell me what to do but I simply miss talking to you. You always knew how to make everything better. I'm so glad you came into my life. I couldn't have asked for a better 'person', work husband, best man, substitute father, best friend, baby daddy or part-time lover,"
Callie didn't say anything for another half hour or so. She just sat on the swing and enjoyed the quiet. Then she grabbed the flowers from on the side of her. She separated them in half and put some on the marble vase that was attached to Mark's gravestone then she repeated the gesture with the grave that sat on the side of Mark's.
"Hey, Lex. Sorry I didn't really talk to you much today. I know Mer's been here because there are flowers so that's good. Take care of our boy, okay?"
Callie turned back to Mark's grave. She kissed her fingertips before letting them run over the top of the tombstone.
"I love you, Mark. I'll be back as soon as I can and next time I'll be sure to bring Sofia," and with that she grabbed her purse and made her way back to her car.
…
What did ya'll think? Should I add more chapters or was that enough? I know somethings probably didn't make sense like if I'm not mistaken wasn't Callie was at work when they realized that something had happened to the plane? Oh well, that's how it worked in my story. Another thing, I'm COMPLETELY team Callie so please don't leave me reviews saying how it was her fault Arizona did what she did or how she needs to stop whining or whatever. If you don't like what I wrote, don't read. I'm here to entertain.. That's pretty much it. Review please!