It was fresh into the new school year, I was starting big-bad high school, and as a lowly freshman, felt like I ruled the world: I was in HIGH SCHOOL! Soon that feeling wore off as I realized that it was like being in kindergarten all over again. I made new friends, kept many of my old ones, and soon settled into a pretty normal routine. Halloween came around and one of my new friends, Rebecca, was having a party. A lot of people I didn't know were invited, many of them upperclassmen. Sure, I was a little nervous, but hey, Rebecca's a good kid with good friends (I'm her friend, aren't I?), no need to worry too much.
My friend Sarah spent the previous night at my house and we walked over to Rebecca's house together, she only lived a few streets down from me. When we got there, we rang the bell and Rebecca opened the door. Music was blasting to the almost-deafening level, and I could see a bunch of people in her backyard, basement, kitchen, everywhere.
"Hi!" she called over the music, "Come on it!" Sarah and I stepped into her house and went down to the basement, Rebecca leading the way. The music was a little bit quieter down there so we could hear each other without screaming. Rebecca, seeing we were situated, went back upstairs. I looked around. It was Halloween so many people had dyed their hair, wore black, gone scary looking.. A couple kids were making out on a couch, and a song I recognized, but did not like, had come on. I frowned disapprovingly, but didn't say anything.
"What's wrong?" someone I vaguely remembered meeting a few weeks ago came up to me and asked. I guess the look on my face must have been apparent.
"Oh," Sarah glanced at me "Don't worry, she's just Christian," she said apologetically, shrugging.
I'm "just Christian"? I hate it when people do that. It makes it sound like I have a disease or something. As if saying that I'm Christian will explain away anything "weird" I do, will give an excuse for not participating in certain activities. True, because I'm Christian I shouldn't have been at that party because I knew better, and I did leave soon after that incident, but being Christian is not a disease, a mental problem. But maybe it would be better if Christianity was a disease, then it would be contagious and people would catch the Christianity bug, it'd save a whole lot of trouble and persecution.
I thought of that while I was sitting here today. Sometimes people marvel over how I can be perceptive like that, how I can connect seemingly random things and make them make sense. I suppose it's a gift I have. Every little thing that I see, experience, I find some deep, underlying meaning to it.
For example:
I had a rotten day at school (shortly after that Halloween party) and was walking home from my bus stop after school. I was angry at the world-- no, I don't ever get angry-- more like frustrated with my life, and I was silently praying as I walked. Then, at a moment in my prayer, I begged God, "Give me sign!" I looked up at the sky and pleaded with Him, to give me a sign, any sign, that things would get better. Because I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and fell flat on my face. I gathered quite a few bleeding scrapes from that fall, but after lying on the concrete for a moment, got back up and promptly kicked the closest thing to me-- a tree. As I was taking my aggressions out on the foliage, my brain began thinking over what a lousy sign that was, life sucked. Then I stopped. What had I done after I fell? I got back up.
Sometimes you fall in life, and you fall hard, but you can always get back up. It may take a long time, you may need a helping hand, and you might be scarred for life from the fall, but you always get back up. I had fallen in life, but I got back up. I acquired some scars that will live with me for the rest of my life, but because of them I've grown.
Ever notice that at Christmas time, everybody seems to be a Christian? Almost everyone celebrates Christmas, the stores are decked out, trees are decorated, everyone is giving to charity, and people are smiling, more caring, and more courteous to each other. Then, when the season fades and we get into January, the Christians begin to dwindle in number, and soon its back to the normal yearly routine.
Look at the Christmas tree for example. You put it up at Christmas time, cover it in ornaments and tinsel. Then the tree goes down, the ornaments and tinsel come off, and Christmas is over. When my family and I were taking down our tree, I noticed a piece of tinsel we had forgotten. It looked so lonely, dangling there all by itself. Sometimes I feel like that piece of tinsel, lost, lonely, left behind, different, standing out from the background so as to be awkwardly conspicuous. Then I looked around to the other side of the tree and found another piece of tinsel all by itself. True Christians are like those pieces of tinsel, still remaining even after all the other pieces have left after the season is over. All alone sometimes, left behind. But are they left behind, forgotten? Or have they been spared from being caught up in the crowd so as to remain standing tall and proud against a backdrop of a prickly, harsh world?
I realize things like that instantly, and seem to take that… insight I suppose… for granted. But I realized that not everyone can see things like I do, people can't see God's little metaphors, His little reminders, as easily as I do. I feel the need to share these thoughts, so I talk to everyone I can, I write them down and post them anywhere I can.
God bless, and remember He's always there to give you a hand.