Disclaimer: I do not own Bungou Stray Dogs... this is fanfiction made with love ;)
.
.
.
.
Just Five More Minutes ...
.
.
.
Love changes a person.
Change is something that happens when you love someone.
You change your emotions. Your needs. Your beliefs. Your rationality changes until it fits whomever your heart chose to use as a guidepost.
Your life is influenced so deeply that you no longer have your own borders. The borders that protect you. From influence. From hurt. From pain.
Of course, at first you fight it. You fight against it so hard, at first. You defend your soul as if it was a battle between heaven and hell. You fight against it with everything you have.
And then...
That one giving. That one resignation that you always give, but this time, you receive.
So, you fall. Immediately. With no qualms. With no hesitation. With no reservation.
You devote your life, your love, your attention, your everything to them. You don't hesitate to trespass your own limitations. You don't listen to your own warnings. You forget the world around you.
And then...
When you realize... the relinquish you received was never yours. The yield you thought you were gifted.. you realize that what you thought was an unconditional love, was a lie.
You realize that the little gestures, that you thought were thoughtful, were just a to help you make believe.
You realize that the idea of receiving such unconditional love, such affectionate self-sacrifice, is you fell in love with. You fell in love with the idea of unconditional love. And you fell so hard, that you projected this love upon the first person who gives you the first glimpse of it. You fall so hard that you can't breathe. You fall so hard that even if they wanted to, they can't catch you. You fall so hard, that even if they catch you, you just end up dragging down with you.
The problem is...
That...
What if the person you fall in love with isn't afraid of falling? When the person you fall in love with, will gladly take your hand up and smile at you, and thank you for pulling them down?
And he smiles at me, "Atsushi-ku~n, we should get going..." he says and stretches out.
I would never request for him to stay. Even five minutes. Just five more minutes. Because life doesn't work like that. Never does.
But he stays anyway.
"If you want to stay home, I won't say no," he suddenly says and kisses me softly as he smiles sleepily, "I'll call in sick then... "
And yet, this is what has happened. Time and time again. He gives in. Gives me what I want without even being asked. He gives in without request.
He smiles and he gives in.
"I love you," he says casually, as if it's like the easiest thing to say, "You know that, right?"
The clenching of my chest begs to differ. The strangling feeling that claws up my throat that comes from the fact that his casual confession makes me feel like my heart will tear from my chest. The quickening of my pulse shows how much it keeps surprising me, even after so many times I've heard it.
"You are the best person I know," he says and presses his forehead to my own, "I can't believe you said 'yes'..."
And sometimes, I don't believe he ever had to ask.
.
.
.
.