Going nowhere Part 1
Disclaimer is: I don't own Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon or any related characters.
this bout of insanity was written by TT17
all comments can be sent to tomturbo17
Random Mumblings:
Now go out there and make mistakes!
Begin Fanfiction:
It was another exceptionally hot and stuffy summer day. The kind of day where you swear the air conditioning is broken, and your ice cream melts off the cone before you can even pay for it. It was the kind of a hot day where ants liked to fall out of trees onto your head. That's the kind of a hot day it was. And the Sailor Soldier known as Hino Rei was reveling in it.
Being the soldier of fire and war had it's perks...and being naturally hot-blooded often ran her emotions over-time...but the sweltering heat was welcome that day at the Hikawa Shrine. She was in her element. She was enjoying herself, she didn't have any sort of cleaning or chanting or fire-reading or meditating to do at the moment...for that instant in time Hino Rei had the chance to be...ah...a "normal" girl.
She sighed contently, pulled out another doujinshi, and basked in the glory of the sunlight. "REI-CHAN!" The voice broke in. "Enh...Usagi-chan...great..." Rei got up off the floor and went to answer the sliding wall. Usagi, the buoyant blonde princess bounded in, "Hi hey Rei-chan! What's up?" "Nothing, really...I was just..." "Let's go to the arcade!" Usagi grabbed Rei's arm and began to drag her out of the room.
"What the...Usagi! What are you doing?!"
"I wanna go to the arcade! Come on, it'll be fun!"
Rei pulled away from her friend's grip, "You had to come all the way here to go to the arcade?" She asked, slightly annoyed. Usagi smiled, "I thought you could use some time away from this shrine...ever since...well...ever since the battle with Galaxia, we don't hardly spend enough time together!" Rei sighed, this was true...somehow the senshi had been drifting apart lately. Well, except for Minako-chan and Makoto-chan. She shook her head unknowingly...those two...were joined at the hip.
"Alright Usagi...give me a moment, I don't want to go out dressed in THIS..." Rei motioned down to her robes. "Oh yeah..." Usagi realized. Rei began to rifle through her clothes. "This?" She turned and asked her dumpling-haired companion...only to see Usagi sprawled on the floor reading the doujinshi Rei had just put down. Usagi looked up, "That's cute." She said, uninterested, and turned back to the manga. Rei sighed, put the shirt back, and kept looking.
Ami put down the manga she had been "studying" for the past hour. It was so hot out, Tokyo must have been setting some new record highs in temperatures. The blue-haired demure senshi pulled out her pocket computer and tried to gather information on her surroundings. The computer made a complete sweep of the area...and detected no negative energy of youmas or lemures or anything evil
Ami sighed, "Good." she thought. Peace around here was so fleeting...and was the only time for her to...uh..."study" properly.
"Peace" she thought...suddenly studying was very very boring and Ami just had to go to the arcade. So she did.
Rei had gone through about twelve different outfits by now. This was taking longer than expected. Usagi didn't care, she was half-reading Rei's manga, and half-talking to the raven haired girl.
"So then Mamo-chan told the man that he had a very important meeting, and it had to do with studying over in...where is he going now...I think he was going to visit England."
"Hnnn" Rei replied as she sized herself up in the mirror.
"So I said, well, I sort of...I didn't know...I thought Mamo-chan was home to stay this time. He'd been unable to get back into Harvard after the whole deal with Galaxia and Chaos and I guess I just thought he'd being going to some university in Tokyo, but..."
"Mmm-hmmm..." Rei decided a purple shirt would go better than a red one.
"So now he's going to go to England and leave me all alone again..."
Rei then decided the red was definitely better.
"What was that?" She turned to Usagi.
Usagi almost fumed...but the manga she was reading was especially good, and to tell the truth even she wasn't aware of what she was talking about.
"Hm?" Usagi turned to Rei, who was now on her sixteenth outfit.
"What about Mamoru-kun?" Rei asked, showing some general interest in the subject.
"Oh...um..." Usagi tried desperately to remember what she had just said.
Rei pulled out a black tank-top. The arcade didn't have air-conditioning right now, and the green shirt she had decided on was too stuffy.
Ami entered the arcade and found...nobody. Well, there were people there, just not any of the sailor soldiers , which would have struck her as odd...except that none of them had met together at the arcade for a few weeks now. "Why are we drifting apart?" she thought. That wasn't right, they must come back together sometime in the future...otherwise how could their future crystal Tokyo be formed.
Ami unconsciously smacked herself. "Best not to think about those things right now." She mumbled, and went over to get a coke.
"Tag." Makoto tapped Minako.
Minako put on a little pout.
"No, YOU'RE it...tag!" She tapped Makoto.
"No no no...you're it. Tag!" She tapped Minako.
This mundane...whatever this was...had been going on for ten minutes or so now. Thus proving once again that extreme heat plus extreme boredom leads to...extreme bouts of boredom.
"But, Mako-chan, I don't want to be it." Minako whimpered.
"Sure you do." Makoto smiled.
A hot looking guy walked by, diverting the girls attention for less time than usual. They turned back to each other.
"No, I really don't want to be it, I swear. Tag!" Minako tapped Makoto.
"Are you really sure?" Makoto sighed. "Tag."
Minako huffed. "Yes...I think I know what I'm feeling. Tag."
"What are you feeling? Tag."
Minako sat blank faced, another cute guy walked by, this time neither girl turned her head.
"Ok, so I don't know what I'm feeling, but I know I don't want to be IT. Tag."
Makoto smiled. "Well, maybe I don't want to be IT, either. Tag."
Minako slumped over, "It's so hot." She mumbled. A whole troop of impressive adorable well to do men walked by the over-heated overly-bored girls. The girls continued playing "Tag."
"It is hot..." Makoto mused. "What can we do about that?"
"Hang out with Ami?" Minako sighed.
Makoto looked confused. So she got up and started walking home. Minako suddenly realized she was still "IT" and thus began chasing Makoto. The two had soon run the whole distance to Makoto's apartment, which, as it turned out, had air-conditioning. Amazing.
Rei pulled out an American Eagle t-shirt. It was gray, it was light, it had a cute design, it went perfectly with her shorts, it accented her eyes somehow, but it clashed with her sandals. It was tossed to the side. Usagi had gone out to get a cup of cold tea. She had been gone for twenty minutes now. Rei was only five outfits closer to what she was going to wear to go out. Had going to the arcade always been such a big deal? No, no it hadn't but...oh well...
Rei pulled out a different pair of shoes. They matched but...God, the heels were so tacky! Had she actually bought these? "Maybe we need to go shopping." She wondered out loud. "Yeah! That sounds good!" Usagi had returned...she had cake.
"Where's mine?" Rei asked.
Usagi looked at the cake, giggled, "Whoops." and left to get Rei some cake. Rei sighed and tossed the shirt to the side as well as the shoes. They were way too tacky for her taste anymore...such high heels, how tall does anyone really have to be?
Usagi returned with three pieces of cake. Rei looked confused. Usagi said something about Chibi-Usa wanting a piece. Rei reminded her that Chibi-Usa had gone home some time ago. Usagi looked at the cake, giggled, "Whoops" and left to put the one piece back. Two seconds later she re-emerged. "Maybe we could split it?"
Rei was about to get into an argument about eating too many sweets and how it was bad for your teeth and did Usagi really want to be a fat sailor soldier...when her stomach growled insistently, and she agreed to split the cake. And so they did. And so in thirty minutes Rei came seven outfits closer to what she was going to wear.
Ami had not only drank three milkshakes, but she had also unknowingly flirted with eleven guys, three girls, and a stock broker. It was really hot out, anything was possible. Ten guys, two girls, and one stock broker flirted back, and three milkshakes suddenly weren't enough. Two guys bought her another shake, while one girl bought her something called Sex on the Beach.
About halfway through the drink the clerk realized Ami was underage, but then when she unknowingly flirted with him, too, he let it go. Unfortunately, this pissed the girl off, and so girl number three left. Making way for guy number eleven...guy number eleven lasted all of ten minutes before getting a swift kick in the balls. Most readers will now stare at the author and say such things as, "What are you doing to Ami?" and "This is pointless, what's going on?" or "Dude, drugs are bad..." To which the author replies, "I don't know, I don't care, and I don't do drugs."
Then there was a loud crash outside...it was a monster. That's all you get to know for now.
Makoto reached her apartment about two minutes before Minako. She ran in, shut the door, and stood behind the door. One minute and forty nine seconds later there was a pounding on the other side. "I DON'T WANT TO BE IT!"
Makoto laughed and opened the door a crack.
"Oh, I'm sorry." She smiled. "Did you need something, Minako?"
"I don't want to be IT, Mako-chan, IT is not what I am!" Minako steamed.
"Then what are you?" Makoto asked.
The heat was really too much for them, they were getting delirious and asking stupid questions.
"I'm Minakoooooo!" Minako whined.
"No, that's WHO you are...I want to know WHAT you are...ok?" Makoto smiled and let Minako in.
"Oh...I'm tired...and hot...and hungry...and...and bored! Let's go get something to eat!" Minako bounced. Makoto pointed to the kitchen, "I have some food in there."
Minako nodded. "Yes you do."
Makoto pointed to the air conditioner. "I have an air conditioner to make it cold."
Minako nodded. "Yes, there it is."
Makoto pointed to the couch. "You can take a nap there."
Minako nodded. "My God, Makoto, you have everything here!"
Makoto just smiled. She then said. "I try to be prepared."
And before they could say anything else, Minako was asleep on the couch, and Makoto was making a snack.
The monster was ugly. It was big. It had fangs, it had claws, it had sharp pointy teeth...and dude, was it UGLY. Ami deduced as much in all of two seconds after she had seen it. She and everyone else in the arcade. The guy who was currently trying to pick up on her screamed like a little girl at the site of the ugly hulking monstrosity. So did all the other guys in the arcade. And the stock broker.
Ami didn't scream of course. Ami's a sailor soldier. She doesn't scream. She analyzes. And Ami had analyzed that indeed, this monster was ugly.
Then she fainted.
About fifteen minutes earlier...
Chiba Mamoru shifted uncomfortably on the wooden bench he was sitting on and waiting for a bus on. His car and motorcycle were both in the shop. He hated the bus. He was going to be late for his interview. Or was it a meeting? He couldn't remember, the seat was too uncomfortable.
He sighed, looked at his watch, cursed the other happy drivers, cursed the bus company and all public transportation, swore he'd do something about this when Crystal Tokyo came into being, swore in general...and finally got a bright idea.
That's when the monster of the day ran by and threw him into the wall and he had to be taken to the hospital...
(Totally uncalled for, I know, but I'd like to draw this scene...)
Minako had been napping for all of ten minutes when the wonderful aroma of apple strudel woke her. "Apple..." she mumbled.
Makoto looked over at the dozing girl, then out the window. Then back at the girl. Then at the clock. Then the air conditioner...girl...clock...air conditioner...girl...clock...window...girl...
"Strudel..." Minako mumbled.
"A few more minutes." Makoto said, as if the sleeping Minako could actually hear or understand her right now.
"Isn't it too hot to make apple strudel?" Minako sat up and asked Makoto. "Oh by the way...tag..." Minako tapped Makoto.
Makoto frowned. "I don't want to be it."
Minako pointed to the kitchen. "You have the STOVE on, it's too hot to cook. You're gonna get the apartment all hot and then we'll have to go somewhere else."
Makoto smiled. "We'll go to your place...we never hang out at your place anymore."
Minako grimaced. "Forget I said anything..."
Makoto looked confused, on account of...she WAS confused. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Minako sighed.
Makoto was going to press the issue further but...sometimes you didn't want to mess with the blonde goddess, and now, being a hot day, was one of those days. Plus the apple strudel was done. The buzzer was ringing. And so was the phone.
"hello hello"
It was a solicitor...Makoto hung up and returned to her apple strudel.
Ami woke up a few seconds after she had fainted. She hadn't fainted because she was scared or anything, no no no, soldiers don't get scared of big ugly monsters. She had fainted because it's not always good to drink five milkshakes and then have a Sex on the Beach, that's why she fainted.
As soon as she regained consciousness, she ran off to some hidden corner and then transformed. She was about to engage the monster in one to one hand to hand human to monster combat when she remembered...call for back up.
Ami wasn't working at peak performance right now, you understand. (the heat, the milkshakes, the few sips of alcohol, you know)
So anyway, Ami pulls out the communicator of hers...where'd that dumb thing go?
"What is it?"
"Strudel."
Minako took some strudel and nibbled off a bite. "I knew that." She said in a low voice. "Of course you did." Makoto agreed. Makoto ate some strudel, too. "I'm really hungry for chocolate." She said absently. "Yeah, so am I." Minako agreed. So the two began searching the cabinets for chocolate, meanwhile eating strudel. Apple strudel. "You know what's great about chocolate?" Minako asked. Makoto stopped searching and looked at her friend. "It's good for when you...crave it?" The heat in the kitchen was too much.
"Well...yeah but..."
"I don't know...it's chocolate! What's not great about it?"
"Well," Minako pondered, "Some people like Vanilla."
"I'm not one of those people." Makoto snorted and continued looking.
"I like strawberry!" Minako beamed.
"Really? Then why do you want chocolate...I don't think I have any strawberry."
"Well," Minako ate some more apple strudel, "What was I talking about?"
"Why chocolate is so great..." Makoto said as she practically crawled into her cabinets, looking for the sugar god.
"Yeah, uh..." Minako sat down by the table. "You know I can't remember what I was going to say." She began to fiddle with flowers at the center of the table.
"Found some!" Makoto pulled out a brownie mix.
There was an odd silence.
Makoto put the brownie mix away and sat down at the table by Minako. "What?" she asked.
"Nothing." Minako lied. The flower at the center of the table wilted a little and it's deep red color began to fade into a purple haze.
The moment passed, they finished their apple strudel and moved into the living room.
"THERE IT IS!" Ami cried triumphantly, as she had finally found her communicator. Several bystanders looked at the senshi oddly; whether that was because she was talking to herself or because she was a senshi, only they would know.
Ami turned the communicator on, it beeped...it kept beeping...no one was answering. "They...they..." Ami began seething. "They don't have their communicators with them?!" She cried out in anguish. The bystanders exchanged nervous glances, and slowly walked away.
Ami finally gave up on the communicator idea..."I can do this myself..." She tried to reason.
The monster reappeared.
Ami felt a wave of nausea begin to overtake herself. Her mercury crystal had healed her body quickly, and so most of the effects of the alcohol had worn off by now...but still...five milkshakes weren't sitting well at all.
"MERCURY!..." She stretched her arms out, and a harp appeared...
"AQUA!..." She strummed the harp...
"RHAPSODY!" Water blasted out from somewhere behind her (even Mercury wasn't sure where the water came from) and blasted full force into the monster.
The monster grunted and stumbled back in obligation, but quickly regained it's senses and started to bear down on Mercury.
Reason went out the left window...
Makoto and Minako had resorted to making out on the couch when the communicator began beeping. "Ignore it..." Minako mumbled.
Ten minutes later it beeped again.
"But...um..." Makoto tried breaking away. It was really hot though, thinking straight and immediate responses were not on the menu for the day. Menu? Today's PG-15 Sailor Moon Adventure has been brought to you by the letter M. As in Moon, Mercury, Mars, Makoto, Minako, Michiru, Mamoru, and Meioh. Ta-DA!
Makoto finally answered the communicator. "It's Ami." She said. Minako nodded, disappointment etched on her face.
"MAKOTO GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE THERE'S A FREAKING MONSTER!" Ami yelled and was then cut off.
Minako and Makoto sat in stunned silence for a moment. And after that moment Makoto spoke up. "So...we should go help her now, right?"
Venus nodded. "Yes! Right, let's go...where?"
Jupiter went blank. "It...it looked like the arcade, I think..."
Venus nodded. "Ok!"
After another moment...
"Just let me peel off the couch first." Venus sighed.
It was really really hot.
Rei had finally decided on an outfit, she and Usagi had shared some delectable cake, and the two were finally on their way to dinner and a movie; it was too late to go to the arcade anyway, they reasoned. That's when the communicator went off. "Just ignore it. It's probably nothing" Rei huffed when Usagi went to answer.
Usagi looked puzzled at her friend's behavior, but decided to let it go.
Ten minutes later it beeped again.
"But...um..." Usagi argued. Rei just huffed again and motioned that it was alright. Usagi turned on the communicator...
"-HERE THERE'S A FREAKING MONSTER!"
"What was that?" Rei turned and asked.
"That was Ami...it's a monster." Usagi said, looking worried. Rei knew the look. "Venus and Jupiter will take care of it. We don't have to rush." She said, trying to soothe her friend.
"We should go. Now!" Usagi insisted.
Rei sighed, she knew very well that fighting in this heat would not be good. She was absolutely sure Venus and Jupiter could handle it, all the monsters that had popped up since Galaxia's defeat were rather weak and easily beaten. No one had bothered to ask why there were still monsters around, they just took everything in stride.
But the way Usagi looked. So worried, so concerned. "Why can't she be concerned about ME like that?" Rei wondered. She sighed. Usagi looked at her. "Alright, let's go." Rei huffed.
As they raced to the arcade Rei finally thought it strange that Usagi had waited for HER permission to fight. Indeed, this was strange.
"SHABON..." Mercury threw her arms up...
"SPRAY!"
Bubbles surrounded the monster. The monster stopped, crossed his arms, and shook his ugly ugly UGLY face in Mercury's general direction.
"Dumb foggy bubbles." Mercury muttered.
Just then, a brilliant blast of light flashed into the monster. Almost like a laser, but not quite a laser...because no one is really sure exactly what Venus's crescent beam actually is, you know. At least, I'm not sure. Anyway, it hurt the monster, and that's what matters.
"GRAAAAAH!" shouted the monster.
"HA!" laughed Venus.
"OH THANK GOODNESS!" shouted Mercury. And with that she nearly collapsed in relief. She didn't though, because Jupiter was at her side, making sure she wouldn't collapse. "Not now, Ami." Jupiter mumbled as she helped the blue-themed senshi to her feet again.
"Sorry, sorry, it's just that the fight isn't going well..." Mercury apologized.
"It's ok, we'll take care of it." Jupiter smiled, as she let Mercury go, and began to cross her arms. "SUPREME!"
Electricity fizzled through the air, concentrating into one spot above Jupiter's head.
Venus noticed this, and swiftly got as far away from the monster as she possibly could.
The fog cleared up, the monster looked around in confusion...where had the senshi gone?
"THUNDER!" Jupiter threw her arms apart, the electricity focused through her tiara, and went flying out, slamming into the monster.
It collapsed.
"GRAAAAAH!" shouted the monster.
"HA!" laughed Jupiter.
She stopped laughing when the monster got back up, stumbled over, and threw her the length of half the city. Venus also stopped laughing...and began running after her friend. Mercury also stopped laughing, because once again...she was alone to fight the monster.
"Ohhhhhh...crap..."
Rei and Usagi were on their way to the arcade when they saw Jupiter fly over head.
"Well, that's not good." Rei said as she skidded to a halt, turned on her very high heels, and began running in the opposite direction.
"Jupiter-chan!" Usagi yelled, as she too skidded, turned on less high heels, and began running in the opposite direction.
They were both startled when a blur of orange and...orange...blurred...by them. (This is what happens, boys and girls, when you don't have a thesaurus nearby)
"JUPITER!" The blur screamed.
Rei again skidded to halt, "Minako's got it." She sniffed.
Usagi tried to skid to a halt, but was unsuccessful and ran into a brick wall.
Rei sighed. "Usagi-chan..."
She went over and helped the blonde dumpling-haired girl to her feet.
"So, should we help Jupiter or..." Rei started.
"OWWWWWWW!" Usagi bawled.
"Right so..." Rei continued.
"OWWWWWWW!" Usagi continued.
"You see maybe we..." Rei finished.
"OWWWWWWW!" Usagi concluded.
Rei then decided it would be a good idea to get Usagi home, the poor girl was absolutely delirious from the heat and all so...if she had to come out after getting Usagi safe, she would. But for now, she needed to protect the princess.
Jupiter landed with a thud, not a crash, a thud. This isn't really important, but if you're imagining the sound effects it is.
Now, when normal people are hurled halfway across the city, they probably die. But not Jupiter, oh no, she's not a normal people. Person. She's not a normal person. She's a senshi! And that means that even though she's just been hurled half the distance of the city...she's still quite awake and conscious. Go figure.
"Jupiter! Jupiter!" Venus could be heard shouting. And the reason she can be heard shouting is because she too is not a normal people. She's also a senshi. She can jump really high and really far distances, thus, she was able to keep up with the hurtling Jupiter, and thus is within hearing range, and thus, we "hear" her. So, thus, everything is explained. Yay.
"Jupiter!" Venus yelled one last time, as she finally found her fallen comrade.
Jupiter's eyes fluttered open. "ughhh..." she murmured "It's ok, I'm fine."
Venus stared blankly at the shattered building which Jupiter had crashed into. "You're fine...but clean up control is going to have a fit."
Jupiter smiled numbly, "Thanks...appreciate the concern..."
Venus bent over and put an arm around her friend's waist. "You're going home. I'll check in on Ami and the monster after that." She commanded. "I am? I thought I was...I don't know where I was going..."
Jupiter rolled her head to the side and finally attempted to stand up...she suddenly realized that she was really quite taller than Venus. "You know what...you're not going to be able to hold me up..." she said.
"Sure I will." Venus said in a strained voice.
Venus attempted to hold Jupiter up...but, true to the green senshi's words, she just couldn't do it. This was partially due to the fact that Jupiter was standing up on her own.
"Huh... I seem to be alright." she observed.
"Yeah, that's strange." Venus replied.
The two senshi pondered for a moment on what their next course of action should be. Aloud explosion in the other half of the city reminded them of the fact that Mercury was alone with that big ugly monster thing. They were about to run back and help her...when Jupiter collapsed.
"Huh...it seems I'm not alright." Jupiter observed.
"Yeah, I guess not." Venus replied, again trying to help her friend up. "That's it, you're going home...orders from the great leader of the sailor soldiers, Sailor Venus!"
"Hah..." Jupiter laughed and let Venus pick her up from the ground. "You know that leader stuff is crap...the only reason I'm doing anything you say is..." Jupiter trailed off.
Venus looked at her friend expectantly. "Is...?"
Jupiter smiled. "Is because...you're IT..."
Mercury was so pissed off it was not even funny.
She raised her arms, got more pissed off, and shouted, "SUPER GENIUS WATER ATTACK YO!"
The heavens opened up and a giant water spout crashed onto the evil monster. The monster died. Mercury jumped up and down, overjoyed at the fact that she, the often perceived weakest senshi, had killed a demon monster ugly creature thing.
"I have a new attack...I have a new attack..." she sang as she bounced around in an out of character fashion.
Suddenly, millions and millions of rose petals flew through the air.
"What the...?" Mercury muttered.
Violin music could be heard and two silhouettes standing back to back began to circle around.
"Invited by the new age, appearing gracefully, Sailor Uranus!"
"Invited by the old age, appearing with Uranus, Sailor Neptune!"
"STAGE...ON!" Shouted the two outer senshi.
Mercury regarded them solemnly for a moment before finally saying, "Stage on is the three lights appearance speech phrase you guys."
The two other senshi shrugged, "It sounds cool, though."
Mercury detransformed. "Anyway, I killed the monster, you're too late to be of any help...again..."
Neptune stared in shock at the dead monster. "She actually did it, Uranus."
Uranus shrugged her shoulder. "Oh well, cool...wanna go find the rabbit?"
shrugs...I don't know where ANY of this is coming from, but it is sort of interesting in a I'm really tired way...there should be more coming...should...