{darkness of the heart}
You can never change the past - or what you say or do. Of this I am positive,
and for once in my life, I'm content with what I did. Shoving Kagome back into the
well and blocking it, I mean.
That's the best thing for her...she almost died today. What would I have done if she had?
She means more to me than Kikyou ever did; Kikyou would have only let herself love me if I had
become human. But whether I chose to be human or youkai, Kagome will always have that special
bond with me.
At this point, I know she doesn't love me...a crush, maybe. Not love.
I'm not sure if I love her. There's no such thing as love at first sight. That's a pile of bullshit.
It's not true love if you don't know the person's temperaments and faults - and are able to overlook the
faults.
Such deep thoughts from such a crude being!
Whether I'm more human or more youkai, I really don't know.
Can I love? Or will anybody dear to me just die like Kikyou? Is it safe to be close to me?
But I'm seeing the beginnings of a family here. Myouga-jiji, a grandfather. Kaede-baba, a grandmother.
Shippou, an annoying little brother. Miroku, like a twin that's nowhere near identical. Kagome...what
is Kagome?
Kagome is Kagome...a human woman, but far more than that.
Miroku is Miroku...a perverted priest, but far more than that.
Shippou is Shippou...a silly child, but far more than that.
I don't like these thoughts. If I were to become a youkai, I would forget my love for them. If I were
to become a human, they would be my weakness.
But as a hanyou, what are they to me?
Are they a crutch for me to lean on?
A team to fight alongside of?
A group of worthless puppets that I use?
No. They are family, and they love me for Inuyasha, the hanyou who can't even figure out who he is.
WHAT he is.
I remember ofukuro saying something before her death...which I don't want to talk about. She said
something resembling "'You are not the company you keep. The strongest have weaknesses, the weakest
have strengths. They are what you make them.'"
But...what is Kagome to me???
I think I'm in love.
But will I ever know?
I don't think so; the well is blocked.
Damn, now I'm beginning to hate this growing darkness in my heart...
~~~
*owari*
Whew...finally. That was a shortie, but took forever to write...not really.
You may notice that I use the word 'love' in this story rather often. Why? In this era, 'love' is
reserved for fiancees, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, etc. You say you love your friend that is a
member of the same sex, you are gay.
Oh, hell. Inuyasha is not gay. Miroku is not gay. There are many forms of love, and they don't have to
be 'sissy', just a deep form of friendship.
Wake up and smell the ramen, people.
-Katra
You can never change the past - or what you say or do. Of this I am positive,
and for once in my life, I'm content with what I did. Shoving Kagome back into the
well and blocking it, I mean.
That's the best thing for her...she almost died today. What would I have done if she had?
She means more to me than Kikyou ever did; Kikyou would have only let herself love me if I had
become human. But whether I chose to be human or youkai, Kagome will always have that special
bond with me.
At this point, I know she doesn't love me...a crush, maybe. Not love.
I'm not sure if I love her. There's no such thing as love at first sight. That's a pile of bullshit.
It's not true love if you don't know the person's temperaments and faults - and are able to overlook the
faults.
Such deep thoughts from such a crude being!
Whether I'm more human or more youkai, I really don't know.
Can I love? Or will anybody dear to me just die like Kikyou? Is it safe to be close to me?
But I'm seeing the beginnings of a family here. Myouga-jiji, a grandfather. Kaede-baba, a grandmother.
Shippou, an annoying little brother. Miroku, like a twin that's nowhere near identical. Kagome...what
is Kagome?
Kagome is Kagome...a human woman, but far more than that.
Miroku is Miroku...a perverted priest, but far more than that.
Shippou is Shippou...a silly child, but far more than that.
I don't like these thoughts. If I were to become a youkai, I would forget my love for them. If I were
to become a human, they would be my weakness.
But as a hanyou, what are they to me?
Are they a crutch for me to lean on?
A team to fight alongside of?
A group of worthless puppets that I use?
No. They are family, and they love me for Inuyasha, the hanyou who can't even figure out who he is.
WHAT he is.
I remember ofukuro saying something before her death...which I don't want to talk about. She said
something resembling "'You are not the company you keep. The strongest have weaknesses, the weakest
have strengths. They are what you make them.'"
But...what is Kagome to me???
I think I'm in love.
But will I ever know?
I don't think so; the well is blocked.
Damn, now I'm beginning to hate this growing darkness in my heart...
~~~
*owari*
Whew...finally. That was a shortie, but took forever to write...not really.
You may notice that I use the word 'love' in this story rather often. Why? In this era, 'love' is
reserved for fiancees, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, etc. You say you love your friend that is a
member of the same sex, you are gay.
Oh, hell. Inuyasha is not gay. Miroku is not gay. There are many forms of love, and they don't have to
be 'sissy', just a deep form of friendship.
Wake up and smell the ramen, people.
-Katra