"Hola, soy Dora! And this is Boots! Boots? Boots! Where are you Boots? Oh no! Boots is gone! We have to find him, rapido! Rapido means fast in Spanish. Can you say 'rapido?'" She stood still for a minute as if someone was there to answer her. Then she said "Very good. Now let's go! Maybe my abuela knows where Boots is. Let's go to abuela's house!"

A short walk later, Dora was outside her grandmother's door. She would have knocked with her hand, but she had a paper cut on her pinky finger that she didn't want to irritate, so instead of using her other hand, she knocked with her forehead. Arching her head back with every knock she slammed her forehead into the door over and over in hyper-speed. In a high pitched, raspy voice, she shouted "abuela!" over and over again. Then, with her forehead bleeding and bruised, she ruptured a hole in the door and stuck her enormous head inside. "Hola, abuela! Soy Dora!" She said with her unusually high voice.

Not long after Dora "opened" the door, she saw her grandmother tied up and moaning in the corner. She had a black eye, and a bloody sock stuffed in her mouth. Dora, obviously confused, asked her imaginary audience what happened. In her head, a group of preschoolers replied, saying "She got beat up, gagged and tied up, Dora!"

"Very good!" Dora replied to the imaginary voices. Then she turned around and said "Abuela, do you know where Boots is?"

Abuela, barely hanging on to life screamed "Swiper!" but she sounded muffled from the sock.

Dora looked at the camera. "Do you know what abuela said? Swiper? Oh no! Swiper swiped Boots!" Abuela was now crying, but Dora cut her off and said "Adios, abuela! Gracias!"

Before Dora could turn and leave, though, backpack interrupted her and said "Dora, wait! I think I have something to help your abuela!"

Dora noticed and opened her backpack. Inside were a pair of rope-cutters, and a beehive. "Hm. Which should I use? The rope-cutters or the beehive?" She waited a moment. "The rope-cutters? I thought we should use the beehive. Oh well. Catch, abuela!" She tossed the rope-cutters as hard as she could, but since abuela was tied up, they punctured her through the eye. As abuela screamed and oozed blood, Dora shouted. "Oh no! Don't worry, abuela! I'll bring back medical attention as soon as I find Boots!" Dora turned and skipped away from the house, and abueala died within an hour.

Dora, then, not knowing where to go, pulled out the map. To her surprise, the map was scribbled on with magic marker. There was a note on the back that said "Dora, I've scribbled out your map so I could tell you where I am myself! If you ever want to see your precious Boots again, you must bring 100,000 Pesos to my lair/bachelor pad deep inside Spooky Forest!

- Swiper."

"Oh no, Mi amigos! Swiper has Boots in his Lair/bachelor pad in the Spooky Forest! What should we do? But wait. Why does Swiper even need 10 cents worth of Pesos in the first place? Was he just short the Dollar Menu at McDonald's? Well, I guess I need my Iguana bank. Now where could it be?"

"Hola, Dora." Isa the Iguana said as she walked by.

"Oh, there it is. How'd it get all the way out here? Well, it's no use thinking about it. C'mere, you!"

"El stop-o, what are you doing? AH!"

Dora grabbed Isa and lifted her over her head, and threw her down onto the ground, and started attacking her. Then, she started punching Isa Donkey Kong style. "Yaaaa!" She screamed wildly as she slammed her armsinto Isa's chest like a crazy person.

"Backpack, do you have a crowbar in there? This Iguana bank isn't shattering!"

"Si, Dora, but I don't think that's an Iguana b-"

"Excuse me? I don't think I heard you right. Maybe this will change your mind!" Dora then started biting the cloth hard, trying to gnaw through it and make her own opening. Finally, it was too much for backpack to take.

"Ok Dora! I'll do whatever you say!"

"Great! Now hand it over, gorda!"

The crowbar flew out of her backpack, and Dora gripped it menacingly. "VROOP! Let's do this thing! Yaaaaa!" She started swinging the crowbar until finally, she punctured a wound into Isa's stomach.

"Maravilloso!" Dora cheered as she grabbed at the wound and pulled it open wide. She reached both hands into Isa's stomach and while she was sifting through the blood and guts, she remarked "That's strange. I was sure I had 2.5 billion Pesos in here somewhere!"

(Author's note: Under current exchange rates, this is about two Dollars and Fifty cents US.)

"Well, no matter. I'll just use this! Backpack! AK-47! Rapido!"

"Si, Dora. Whatever you say!" Backpack said, afraid of Dora.

Dora put the gun into her skirt pocket and said "Vamanos, mi amigos!" Suddenly, the hills subsided and a fork in the road appeared. There were two choices. To the left was the Spooky Forest and to the right was a yellow brick road with lollipops and gumbrops. "Which way do we go?" Asked Dora. Then a mouse cursor came onscreen and clicked on the Spooky Forest. "Ok! Vamanos!"

It was a long and hard walk through Spooky Forest, but Dora knew she found Swiper's Lair/Bachelor Pad when she found a building with 'Swiper's Lair/Bachelor Pad' written outside with neon lights. Swiper was standing outside with his arms crossed. "Right this way, amiga." Once they were inside, there was Boots in a cage, only barely bigger than the monkey himself.

"Boots!" Yelled Dora.

"Dora!" Yelled Boots. "I was so worried about you!"

"Are you okay?" Asked Dora.

"I'm fine." Said Boots. "I'm fine." He repeated.

"Ahem!" Swiper covered the cage with a sheet. "No contact with the monkey until I get my Pesos. You did bring the money, right?"

"No! But I did bring THIS!" Dora pulled the AK-47 from her skirt pocket and aimed it at Swiper.

Swiper laughed. "Haha. Yes, well I too have a gun!" Swiper pulled out a bazooka from behind his mask.

"Ai Chihuhua, that's big!"

"Haha! Yes." Swiper said.

Dora, who was too busy adjusting her backpack was shot and killed instantly. Swiper then said. "I finally get to fulfill my life's dream. Tasting Orangutan!"

The End