Loki sighed, looking down at his paper schedule and back up to the room number posted outside the classroom door. "This is it, Thor."
"Alright," Thor adjusted the strap of the backpack that was slung over one shoulder. He was trying to look casual but Loki could tell he was nervous. "We got this, brother."
Loki rolled his eyes as his sibling clapped him on the back and pulled the door open. He wasn't exactly pleased to be paired up with his older brother for most of the school day but there was nothing to be done about it now. Since their father had fallen ill last fall, their mother had decided to pull the boys out of their extremely expensive private school and instead enrolled them in the public school across town to help pay for Dear Old Dad's ever mounting medical bills and twenty-four hour care that was slowly draining the family fortune. And this particular school decided not to honor several of Loki and Thor's more advanced classes, meaning that they were both forced to take several Junior level classes even though Thor was technically a Senior. Loki planned to just keep his head down these next few month and focus on getting into a good college far, far away from this dingy high school.
That plan changed however the moment the brothers entered their calculus and fate intervened.
The pain at Loki's inner forearm was immediate, electrifying, and all consuming. He would have sworn that his arm was on fire if he hadn't been prepped his whole life for this moment.
His mark.
The fiery sensation was only overshadowed by the ruckus across the room, drawing his attention up. A dark haired girl jumped to her feet so quickly she knocked her desk to the floor, sending the paper and pens on top crashing against the scratched linoleum, and she swore, loudly. "Oh, fuck!" Loki froze, watching her grip her wrist. Her head snapped towards the door. She was beautiful, and the embers from his arm danced around his heart. This could only mean...
Loki didn't complete the thought, as he was struck in the side by Thor's backpack, his older brother swinging it off his shoulder and sending the bag, and Loki, crashing into the desk right inside the door. The girl in the seat yelped as she tried to keep the desk upright.
"Ow, what the hell?!" Thor yelled, "My arm!" Thor pushed his sweater's sleeve up, revealing his soulmate mark. It was a bright, unmistakable red.
No. No no no. Loki thought from the floor. Could he seriously not have one. Single. Moment. To himself? This was the event that most people spent their whole life waiting for, so of course Thor had to overshadow him as usual.
But wait, Loki sat up and frantically looked around the room. No one else was grabbing their arm. Confused and a little dazed, Loki lifted himself off the floor, picked up the textbook that had fallen when he was launched into the room and handed it to the small girl pushing her brown hair behind her ears.
"Thanks," she murmured,
Loki didn't answer, watching with dread as Thor made his way into the classroom and towards her.
"Hey," Thor put on his best sauve sounding voice. Shit.
"Nice mark," the girl nodded towards Thor's exposed arm, the once-empty outline of a flame now bright red. Was she flirting with him?
"Nice language," Thor replied, and gave the girl a wave. No no no no!
"Oooooh," the whole class hooted and whooped, clapping for the apparent new couple. Before Loki could do more than glower, the door burst open and a harried looking teacher entered the room.
"Quiet down everyone," he barked and silenced any further attempts at speaking, quickly ushering Loki and Thor to their new assigned seats.
Loki took his seat, yanking down his sleeve, and ignoring the lingering burning sensation in his arm and in his heart.
When the bell sounded to end class, Loki left without waiting for Thor. He couldn't concentrate the whole period, trying his best to observe and scrutinize each of his new classmates. He had heard stories growing up and passed around playgrounds of people who had soulmate marks that never flared. He couldn't recall ever hearing about a mark that changed without a match, though. But all through class, nobody else caught his eye. No one else had reacted in that moment. Only her , the stunning girl.
He had just made it to his locker, diligently spinning the dial of the lock with his newly memorized code when Thor bounded up next to him. "Loki! Did you see! Can you believe it?"
"I am shocked," Loki replied dryly, yanking the metal door open. "I figured the universe wouldn't be so cruel as to punish anyone with your annoying presence for all eternity." He tried not to let his stomach sink, thinking about what message the universe was possibly trying to send to him .
"She seems pretty cool right?" Thor turned and leaned his back against the row of lockers. "Oh, here she comes."
Loki froze, briefly contemplating crawling inside his locker to escape.
"Hey," she greeted to Thor. "Sooo, uh, I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Sif." Loki's heart fluttered at the sound of her name, the timbre of her voice.
"Thor," he reached out his hand to shake hers. "And this is my brother, Loki."
Sif leaned around Thor to look at him. "Hey, Loki." She gave a little wave.
"Hi," Loki tugged the sleeve of his shirt lower, not offering his hand. This was miserable.
"So," Sif turned back to Thor, but kept glancing at Loki too. "I have track practice after school today but maybe we could meet up, or something, afterwards. If you wanted to?"
"Oh, track? Think they'd let me on the team?" Thor's eyebrows shot up with interest.
"Depends," Sif shrugged and raked her eyes over Thor's body. Loki could throw up. "What's your specialty? You don't look like a sprinter."
"I'm pretty good with a shot put," Thor boasted. "I'm partial to the hammer throw, though."
"No way!" Sif's face lit up. "A fellow thrower? My specialty is the javelin!"
Loki's heart sank. Obviously these two were perfect for each other. So she really wasn't his soulmate.
"Awesome!" Thor gave her a high-five and turned to his brother. "You want to try out too, Loki?"
He shook his head, the self-pity overwhelming. He felt like he might cry suddenly. That only made him more embarrassed.
"See you around?" Sif smiled at him. She really was lovely.
"Yeah, sure," Loki nodded, trying not to let his cheeks color too much. He watched them walk down the hallway together talking animatedly, and swallowed down a sudden wave of nausea. He couldn't tell anybody about his mark. Ever . How humiliating to be the only person on the planet with a faulty mark.
He couldn't stop the yelp of shock that left him when he closed his locker, a short girl standing right behind the door, staring at him expectantly startling him out of his thoughts.
"Hi," she said, shifting the large pile of books in her arms.
"Hello," Loki replied, moving to step around her.
"My name's Jane," she stuck out her hand.
"Loki," he took her hand reluctantly. Again he tried to keep walking but she sprung into motion to keep up.
"So you're new here, right? What class do you have next?"
"Physics," Loki replied flatly. He really was not in the mood for small talk. Couldn't this lady tell he was having an internal crisis?
"Oh, me too," she replied cheerily. "We can go together."
"Super."
"Look," she brushed a piece of hair behind her ear. "Me and a few friends like to meet up a few times a week after school in the library to study together. You should come."
"Er, no thanks." Why was she being so nice to him? "I already went over most of this material at my old school."
"Okay, well come anyway," she persisted. "You can at least meet a few new people, maybe make a friend."
Loki opened his mouth to reject her offer again but thought about Thor and Sif hanging out together, and how that meant that Loki would be alone the rest of the afternoon. Alone with some unpleasant, jealous thoughts. Maybe being around some people wouldn't be so awful. "Right. Sure. Thanks."
Thor, beaming for ear to ear, found him in the library later that afternoon. "Guess who is the new king of the castle?"
"I take it you made the team?" Loki hardly looked up from his physics textbook. "Aren't you having the best day ever."
Thor slid into the seat next to Loki, clapping him on the shoulder. "You could say that again. Are you gonna introduce me to your friends or what?"
Loki rolled his eyes but waved vaguely towards Jane, and Darcy, and what's his face. Thor happily shook hands all around the table. When his large hand embraced Jane's small hand, they both nearly jumped out of their seats.
"Sorry," Jane breathed. "Must be static electricity."
Thor grinned back at her. "Or my shocking personality." Loki's nearly rolled out of his head. Jane, on the other hand, giggled and looked at Thor with stars in her eyes. Loki snorted to himself. Figures . He'd already found his soulmate and he could still get girls throwing themselves at him.
Loki kept his promise to himself and told no one about what happened in calculus. His mother was overjoyed, naturally, when Thor told her all about his great first day at school and she insisted that Sif be invited to dinner the next night. And to Saturday plans for an outing at the museum. And Pizza Night on Sunday.
And so the real torture began.
He had faked a stomach ache the first night she came over, convincing his worried mother to let him stay in bed all evening long.
Frigga insisted that he come to the museum though, knowing how much he always appreciated the stimulation and convincing him that it would make him feel better. She was right in some ways, but horribly wrong in others.
Walking through the museum, trailing behind Thor and Sif with his brother making inane comments about the displays, Loki truly felt like he was seeing colors more vividly. The art seemed more beautiful, deeper and richer than anything he had seen before and he felt genuinely moved. But everything reminded him of her. It didn't help that she, unlike Thor, seemed to really appreciate the displays, leaning in close to paintings to examine the brushstrokes, ooh-ing and ahh-ing over a section filled with ancient weaponry. She was luminous, her face lost in thought and reverence over the artifacts. And her smile when she caught him staring at her, oh god. Loki was doomed.
More and more, she was at their house in the evenings, scarfing down insane amounts of food with Thor after their field practice. She was always there. Loki could hardly escape, constantly reminded of his closely guarded secret. He had fallen for his big brother's soulmate. But no matter how desperately he tried to hide away from her, attempting to avoid the feelings she evoked in his, Sif continued to seek him out, trying to include him.
"Hey, Loki," she barged into his room, flopping herself onto his bed. His bed , for heaven's sake. "There's some salted caramel ice cream left downstairs if you want some. I made sure Thor didn't eat it all, I know how much you like that stuff."
"Thanks," Loki replied self-consciously, his fingers picking at the fabric covering his tingling arm. When had she noticed it was his favorite?
"What're you doing up here?"
"Just drawing a little," he nodded at the sketchbook in his lap.
"Oh, wow, can I see something you've done?"
"Uh," Loki hesitated. His sketchbook was full sketches of her face. "The stuff in here is crap. But I did the stuff on the walls." He gestured vaguely around the room. Sif pushed herself up, sitting cross-legged on the bed.
"Wait, all of these? I thought these were professional paintings, like ones you buy at a fancy art show!" Loki's pride swelled at her compliment.
That's amazing, Loki!" She pointed to his newest canvas, full of deep maroon swirls and black accents, that he'd hung just last week. "How do you even do that?"
"I was inspired," he shrugged, thinking of her face at the museum.
"I wish I could do something like that," she sighed. "Art is honestly like some weird sorcery to me, I just don't understand how people can think of something in their head and then just," she waved her arm wildly, "voila! Make tha t it happen. Mine would look like absolute horseshit."
Loki laughed. "Not everything I do turns out that great, trust me. But I think I'm getting better at it."
"When did you start?" She rested her elbow on her knee and rested her chin in her hand, looking genuinely interested. Loki hesitated to tell the truth, but something about her made him honest.
"My therapist suggested I find an outlet for my emotions," he looked down at his hands, giving his sleeves a slight tug. "The first time Dad got really sick."
Sif slid off the mattress, sitting herself next to him on the floor, their backs pressed against the bed. He was acutely aware of her body in space next to him, how close her hand rested next to his on the carpet.
"Thor's told me a little bit about it," her voice was soft, sincere. "I can't even imagine what you guys have been going through."
"It's not all bad," Loki confessed. "It led to meeting you."
He blanched, kicking himself for saying something so desperately sentimental.
"I'm glad I met you too," she smiled at him and moved her hand so her pinky brushed his. The electric zap made them both gasp. Sif snatched her hand back, turning red. "Ow, oh sorry I must have picked up a lot of static rolling on your bed."
Loki just nodded, pulling his hand to his chest. Sif jumped up awkwardly. "So how about that ice cream?"
Loki had zoned out of what the study group was currently bickering over. Jane had been passionately talking through a math problem involving probability and something about that word had made his mind rev, his arm itch. What was the probability that he was the only person on Earth who was going to die alone despite having a red arm mark?
His worrying was interrupted when Thor appeared, freshly showered from the locker room after practice. By the way Loki's nose burned, he could tell that Thor had also been a little heavy handed with the cologne. Why he was wearing it after seeing Sif was a mystery.
"You're done early," Loki observed. Thor shrugged, dropping himself into the seat next to Jane.
"I thought I'd skip out early. Midterms are coming up, you know."
"Lucky you," Jane replied, "we were just getting started on our calc study guide. You can get in on this if you want?"
"Great," Thor smiled. "I'm totally lost in that class. What have you done so far?" He scooted his chair closer and leaned to peer at the paper in front of Jane. Loki looked curiously at his brother. He knew full well that Thor was very familiar with the material from private school and had finished last year's math class with a solid B.
He shook his head and stood up from the table. "I need to stretch my legs a bit, you guys can get started without me."
Loki walked the rows of abused old books, dragging his fingers along their spines, and winding his way over to the large windows. He paused there, looking out the glass into the spring sunshine. Not 200 feet away, Sif stood on the field pitch. She held her javelin up high and ran, then launched the spear, hair whipping out behind her and sending the weapon absolutely sailing into the distance. Loki attempted to ignore the strange stirring his felt, watching her body move so powerfully with such grace.
As if feeling his eyes on her, Sif suddenly turned and looked up towards him. When their eyes met, her face broke out into a huge grin. The smile made his heart leap. She waved enthusiastically to him and gave a thumbs up. He couldn't help but match her smile and return her wave with a twist of his wrist. She crossed her eyes at him, making him chuckle, before she jogged off the pitch for the next girl to take her turn.
Loki knew it was bound to happen eventually, but that didn't stop the sting he felt when Thor announced that he and Sif were going to the movies. Alone. He had convinced himself these past few months that somehow, despite the marks, things weren't that serious between the two. They were always surrounded by other people, always supervised, nothing could happen. Not really.
To distract himself, Loki had invited the study group over to watch a movie. His disappointment in the night grew when only Jane showed up. She was fine, sure, but Loki felt like she always tried a little too hard to make conversation and he did not feel like being questioned all night.
Loki was the one who answered the door when Sif showed up. He shouted for his brother and let her into the foyer. Her dark hair was out of its usual ponytail, worn down and lightly curled. Loki was pretty sure she was even wearing a little bit of mascara. For Thor. A giant, uncontrollable jealousy surged inside of him.
"You look really beautiful," he told her honestly. "I mean, you always do but..."
"Thank you," she murmured, smoothing a hand self-consciously over her hair.
He didn't watch them drive away in Thor's truck. He let Jane pick the movie, some space documentary on Netflix, and spent the evening deep in his thoughts.
He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the front door open. Jane was curled on the far end of the couch, dozing. She sat up when Thor entered the room, calling out a greeting and tossing himself of the couch between them. "Ooh, what's this? I love space!"
Sif entered the living room too, but lingered at the edge, her hand twisting around her wrist. Loki watched her curiously, waiting for her to say something, but she just started at the floor, chewing on her lip. She seemed...upset?
Loki untucked his legs and stood up from the couch. "Hey, uh, I'm gonna grab a snack. Anybody want anything?" Both Thor and Jane shook their heads, attention focused on the tv screen. Sif, however, followed him into the kitchen. He stood near the sink, unsure of what to say.
"Are you hungry?"
Sif shook her head, not meeting his gaze. "I could use some air. Do you think we could go outside for a minute?"
Loki was surprised but agreed, ushering her out the side door and into the back yard. When she dropped herself onto the cool grass, he followed suit. Together they gazed up at the stars.
After a few minutes had passed Sif sucked in a large, steadying breath, and turned her gaze from the stars back to Loki. "Can I tell you something?"
"Of course," Loki tried to meet her gaze. She was so beautiful. And she appeared to be struggling to find the words, her face contorting into a conflicted expression.
She shook her head. "I shouldn't. It will only cause pain."
Loki's lips quirked into a crooked smile. If only she knew of the agony he was in already. "I can keep a secret," he reassured her.
She nodded, letting her words come out in a rush. "I tried to kiss Thor last week and it was just awful."
"Oh," Loki ignored the small shattering he felt in his heart.
Sif took another breath. "I just kept thinking about... And tonight was a disaster too. I really like your brother but I can't see him as anything besides a friend. Sometimes I-,... I sometimes wish it was you."
Loki froze, paralyzed by the weight of her words. It felt like a dagger stabbed in his chest.
"You can't say that." Loki whispered. "Please, don't say that."
Sif eyes suddenly shone wet in the starlight. "You don't like me?"
"No. I mean yes! I have thought about you every moment of every day since I first saw you." Loki could not lie. "But that doesn't matter. The marks aren't wrong."
He felt his gut burn at the injustice of it.
"I know," Sif nodded, wiping at her face. "I just wish I understood how."
"I have something to tell you tool." Loki suddenly couldn't stop himself. He had considered telling his mother weeks ago but lost his will. But to hell with it.
"Something worse than what I've already confessed?" Sif smiled kindly at him.
Loki's fingers found the edge of his left sleeve, peeling it back to reveal his mark, bright red under the starlit sky. He'd never felt more vulnerable, nor so exhilarated, finally having someone know his secret.
Sif's face fell. "Oh. Congratulations." She leaned away from him. "When did you meet them? What's their name?"
Loki found himself frozen again. But this time due to being truly dumbfounded.
"No, Sif," Loki shook his head after a moment. "You misunderstand. I've had this since the day we met. In calculus."
Sif stared at him, confused. "What do you mean? What are you saying?"
"I'm saying Thor and I both had our marks flare at the same time," Loki smiled ruefully. "But I'm the unlucky asshole with the faulty mark, because no one else was there to match."
Sif's face changed swiftly, flashing through several different emotions before she smiled. And then she started to laugh.
The shame burned suddenly, brightly inside of him.
"Oh my god Loki," she laughed. "You idiot!"
He gaped at her, hurt. "You don't have to be cruel about my misfortune."
"No, no, no don't you understand? It all makes sense." She slapped her hand to her forehead. "Oh my god Jane is going to be so relieved."
"Jane?" Loki tried desperately to keep up. but was failing. "What the hell does she have to do with this?"
"Loki," Sif yelled, "her mark changed that day too! She thought it was you! Don't tell me you haven't noticed how hard she's been trying to feel something, anything, more than annoyance for you? For someone so smart, you can be really dense sometimes."
"Hey," Loki protested. "But she never said anything about her mark."
"She literally just told me last week," Sif's face was alight. "Apparently she was too distracted by you face-planting onto her desk to react to the flare. I was so jealous when she told me I didn't even think about..."
"Was that her?" Loki blinked, trying to think back to that moment. He honestly hadn't noticed. "So, Jane is my soulmate?"
"No, Loki," Sif persisted. "That's not what I'm saying. I think Jane's flare was meant for Thor."
"Oh," Loki said dumbly, looking at her expectant face. "Wait so this means..."
He stopped, realizing the full gravity of the situation. Could this be right? He suddenly felt shy, unsure.
"I want to try something." Shifting to her knees, Sif sat and held out her left hand with her palm up. Tentatively, Loki placed his long fingers into her embrace.
The spark was immediate but Sif did not let go. Energy buzzed up his arm, converging around the mark on his arm. His soulmate mark, flaring bright red. He gasped and met her intense gaze. Without thinking, Loki's body leaned forward, his free hand sliding into Sif's hair. Their lips met in a kiss that was unlike anything Loki had ever experienced. A warmth filled his chest, spreading a lightness through him. The sensation was as if his heart, untethered and lost these past few months, had come home.
He was aware of her body, felt almost connected to it, as though an energy was shared between them. A siren song pumping through her, calling him closer. She sighed into the kiss and Loki felt dizzy with delight.
"Can we do that again?" he asked, his lips brushing against her as he drew away, breathless.
"Oh, yes," Sif replied, her voice low and intimate, making Loki shiver.
"When?"
"Soon," she leaned back. "I promise. But we should probably tell Thor first."
"Oh, man," Loki groaned, imagining his brother's feeling of betrayal. "I hope he's not too upset."
He found his worries were utterly unfounded. They found Thor and Jane still on the couch, but now wrapped around each other as if their whole lives depended on it.
"Guess you two figured it out too," Sif called out.
The pair jumped away from each other, Thor immediately shouting "Sif, I can explain!"
"No, really," Loki laughed. "Allow me." He pulled up his sleeve, exposing his secret to his brother. When Thor did not immediately react, Sif rolled her eyes and grabbed Loki's hand, entwining their fingers, and nodding at Jane who also sheepishly showed her mark.
Thor's laugh was loud and long, spring up from the cough to pull Loki into a hug. "Congratulation, brother!"
Loki smiled. Thor shook Sif's hand. "Welcome to the family. Er, again. My mother is going to be so happy all over again!"
Sif laughed, "You're in charge of explaining all this to her."
Loki looked to Jane, and they shared a nod of approval.
"Now," Sif called, taking Loki's hand once more. The buzz of the mark was really quite enjoyable. She pulled him towards the door, fishing out her car keys. "If you'll excuse us, I have a promise to keep."