A/N: So, it was around the time when Gossip Girl hadn't started up again that I decided to write this fanfic. I own nothing, and I just hope I can share the Dair love. This fic picks up where the end of season one left. Dan and Serena are separated and Blair's the one that's picking up the pieces for her best friend.

Why does it feel like it's raining
in my head? I don't understand.
-- "Can't break through" by Busted.

What is going on? Why the hell am I so confused as to what's going on. Isn't it simple enough? I've broken up with Serena and all Blair seems to do is keep on telling me that she's been moping around and not doing everything she's been trying to convince her to do. What, is it because I broke up with her? Oh, it wasn't that ... it was out of the ball park for me, I know. At the beginning of the year, I was completely infatuated, and in love with that girl. But now, I don't know how I feel. Every time I think of the Sah- Georgina incident, I feel a shiver go down my spine and I start to wonder whether I've made the right decision.

I've always thought that starting a relationship with someone always meant something. Something more than just friendship and trust. Yes, those were always there, but there was more to it. There were just moments you couldn't share or have with a friend and that was what I thought I had with Serena. It almost seemed like a dream come true for me when Serena had agreed to go out with me. After all, the last time I saw her, she didn't even know who I was. A year later and we were going out. But that all seemed to change with the arrival of Serena van der Woodsen who was back for the beginning of junior year. I could remember the moment I saw her walk out into grand central station. It felt almost too good to be true.

And the following events after that just seemed like fate had planned it out for me. I ran into her at Bendel's where jenny needed me for some ... fashion emergency and who should walk in but her and her little brother, Eric. And as everyone says, the rest is history. But in some strange twisted way, we started as we finished - a web of lies. Not to be taken literally, since the web isn't as intricate as a spider's web, but when we first met each other, we had made up a few white lies to get Serena out of functions and other things that her mo- Lily had forced her to go. And then before we broke up, Serena hadn't been completely honest with me as to what was going on, especially with Georgina around.

It seems so clear cut; what to do when someone is dishonest. But as the situation gets more complicated, the line between truth and honesty starts to blur. And when that happens, even I don't know what to do. It's had to establish a breaking point once that happens, and I never really had to create one when I was going out with Serena. Everything was fine, we were going fine. Maybe except for the pregnancy scare, but everything was going well. But when push came to shove, I didn't know how much longer I could really take. Sure, I may have been a little naïve about the whole situation, but I could just not... understand as to why Serena didn't trust me enough to confide in me.

But after everything was said and done, I did receive a call from one Blair Waldorf, asking me whether I had gone mental. I calmly explained that I had, in fact, not gone insane and that I just needed some time off from what had happened, accompanying the reason that too many lies had been said for me to just ... forgive Serena. Even though they were to protect me from what she potentially did, I just ... it hurt. What was even worse was actually believing that she had been unfaithful to me and that really hurt. The next thing I could remember hearing was Blair Waldorf, shouting into my ear. For someone who had such a small frame, she really did have a good set of lungs in her. But there was one part of that conversation I couldn't get off my mind. It was what she said, about Serena, and me.

"You think the world of Serena. You put her up on a pedestal. Every time she makes a wrong move, you judge her. Every time Dan. Even didn't say anything to you about Georgina because she was afraid of what you might say and your opinion of her would have been shattered. That was Serena then, and you know how much she's changed. We've all seen how much she's changed. I'm just sorry you couldn't give her another chance to prove herself to you that she was doing this to protect you, and eventually herself. She was afraid of what you'd think. I just guess you'll never really realise Serena's full potential if you're just going to walk away from this all. In fact, good riddance. You don't deserve someone like her. I might see you after break. Bye."

Every single moment I'm alone, all I can think of is my conversation with Blair and what she said. Every, single, word. It replays in my head over and over again, and nothing can seem to erase the tape. The worst part about it all is that dad told me something similar along those lines. That I'm judgemental or something. Me, judgemental. That was a right laugh. I never really paid any attention to it before, but after Blair's confrontation, that's all I can think about. It's been three weeks, and despite all of Blair's efforts to try and cut me out of her and Serena's lives, she's been keeping tabs on Serena and relaying them back to me. I don't know why she's doing this. After all, I thought she said I didn't deserve someone like Serena. But even in the little time I've managed to get to know Blair, it's probably a ploy of hers to make me feel guilty and go and get Serena.

And, it's not working.

No, it's not.

I promise, it isn't.

...

Fuck it, I'm going.