Snowflakes on Her Eyelashes
Okay before you shame me for my Starbucks-esque title for this fanfiction allow me to shame myself.
1.) There is no snow here, and this is Indiana.. And it was December 26th when I wrote this.. And it was 60 degrees.. AND I LIVE IN INDIANA (the world may be ending)
2.) I am really generic when it comes to naming things- guilty charged.
Summary: Basically a relationship-study mixed with pure fluff and Mamoru angst.
Warnings: CALL YOUR DENTISTS KIDDOS, YOU'RE GOING TO GET CAVITIES :^)
They meant well, Mamoru told himself.
He stuffed his hands further in his coat pockets, and let out a deep sigh that physically manifested into a cloud as his warm breath met the frigid air. He wasn't sure what the temperature was outside, or even quite sure what time it was. All he knew was that he had left the hospital after a long shift and he'd had such a day that he figured he deserved a walk.
It was one hell of a day. Everyone had told him that once he landed a residency position that it would get easier, and that was a lie if he ever heard one. It hadn't gotten easier at all. Not when the young girl he was assigned to had almost died today, and if he had only been smart enough to look deeper into why she was having strange seizures- maybe she would have been okay, but now she wasn't.
Her parents had told Mamoru should could light up a room just by her presence..
He had told them that he knew someone like that.
She had been on his mind all day after that, and every time he checked on the young woman in the hospital bed he imagined what he would do if it was her in the bed instead of the girl.
He had tried to stay stoic in front of his colleagues, but he must have slipped because it had been none other than Ami Mizuno who had stopped him on his way to lunch, she hadn't said anything but gave him a sympathetic smile instead. She was interning at the hospital, and even though she was younger than everyone else- she had promise. She would most likely be Mamoru's boss one day.
He wished more than anything that his day had gotten better from there, but it had simply gotten worse. His colleagues, while they meant well, thoroughly enjoyed making others the butt of their joke
Mamoru was usually exempt from this; maybe he didn't come off as the joking type.
Today he wasn't exempt.
That would have been fine. It would have been perfectly fine if they had made jokes about him, maybe about how he probably sorted his sock drawer for fun (A signature insult of Rei Hino).
He would have been okay with that.
But when they had brought Usagi into this, Mamoru had grown stiff in his seat and none of them had noticed. They just continued to laugh about how she was such a child compared to him, and how a much older- more mature girl would fit him better. It reminded him so much of the conversation that he'd had with Saori just years back; he was almost tempted check the news for any dream mirrors being stolen.
He could still remember their comments.
"What do you see in her anyway, Chiba-san?"
"She reminds me more of a little girl in a candy store than a 19-year-old.."
"You should ditch her and date a more mature girl.."
This had went on until they had pointed to one of the female doctors that Mamoru worked with. They suggested that he be with her instead, and Mamoru had grown so tired of it, that he eventually left. He hadn't said a word, he simply got up and returned to his work.
They had yelled their apologies, asking him to come back and to 'lighten-up'.
He had told himself that they meant well, he kept saying it until it became a mantra. It was the only thing that kept him from tackling one of them to the ground. It was the only thing that kept him from really dwelling on the subject. If he could tell himself that they meant well.. That they were simply joking, maybe he could keep himself from dwelling on it.
But now that he was in the park, the same one that he and Usagi had been so many times before.. He couldn't help but dwell on it.
What did he see in her? He couldn't say. He loved her, so much that he would give his very life to ensure that she lived. He couldn't say what he loved about her.. There was just too much. He couldn't explain what it was about her that he loved. He loved everything, he couldn't simply put in words how she made him feel.. And it wasn't any of their business anyway, dwelling in his personal life at work was unprofessional, so what did it matter?
He told himself that, but it didn't stop it from weighing heavy on his heart.
The girl that they had suggested was pretty- she was beautiful even. She was smart, and she had a nice smile. But Mamoru could never see himself with her, and that was another thing that he couldn't explain.
Wasn't she theoretically his type?
Mamoru kicked at the snow with a pout, promptly looking around to make sure that no one had seen his petulant outburst.
The girl..
His colleagues..
What an absolutely horrible day.
He had been so caught up in his own self-pity that he hadn't heard anyone behind him. He was not aware that someone else was in the park until he heard a loud giggle, and someone press their hands against his eyes- and this someone literally jumped on his back.
Any normal person would have been on the defensive, jumping and throwing the person off of them. But Mamoru knew this too well, and he knew exactly who this was. Her hair was in front of him now, and her cheek was pressed against his shoulders, her warm breath tickling his neck. He should have guessed that she would have been the one to come for him when he was feeling down.
"It's Usa-ko." He said before she could ask him to guess who it was. He tried to chuckle, hoping in vain that she wouldn't be able to tell that he was in a bad mood. But Usagi wasn't anything if not observant.
She lifted her hands away from his eyes and jumped off his back, grabbing his hand. He stiffened at the touch. He was always in awe of how in sync she was with his emotions, because when he looked down at her- he knew that she was fully aware that he was in a horrible mood.
"Ami-chan said you had a bad day.." She explained, she looked up at him- blue eyes full of worry. "Wanna talk about it?"
He shook his head, looking away from her. He tried his best not retreat back into his former self, it used to be so easy to become that person and keep these things bottled up inside. She had done something to him, he couldn't do that anymore.
"There was a girl at the hospital tonight.." He started, taking a deep breath. "She's having horrible seizures, and we don't know why. She's not responding to any medicine and she almost died tonight.." He looked down at Usagi, and imagined once again that she was that girl in the hospital.
"Oh.. Mamo-chan, that's not your fault." She whispered, squeezing his hand as they continued to walk through the park. "You're a really great doctor, I would trust you if I was your patient."
She smiled and he winced.
"What's wrong?"
He took another deep breath. "Her parents said she was so happy all of the time.. She just reminds me of you. She even looks like you. I just imagined for a second that what if that was-"
"Me?"
He nodded.
"But it's not me and everything is fine." Usagi said, smiling and nodding to herself. "I'm sure that she will be fine."
"How do you know?"
"Well-" Usagi pressed a gloved thumb to her chin. "You said she was a lot like me... I know that if I was that girl I would fight very hard to get better, so I could be with my loved ones and meet the really cute doctor that keeps worrying about me."
He stopped walking, and she followed his lead. He looked at her, watching as her facial expression turned from happy to confused. Then, for the first time that day.. He genuinely smiled. A large smile that spread across his face, and made his eyes crinkle in delight.
She was the only person who could do that.
That's what he loved about her, and that hit him like a brick. Usagi must have noticed because she grew even more confused, when his face became serious once more. After all of this searching, he could almost put in words how she made him feel. She was the only one who made him smile all day. Even the senior doctors, with much more experience had tried to cheer him up with no avail.
Usagi was the only one.
He let out a nervous chuckle and rubbed his gloves over his cold face, turning away from Usagi and trying to understand what this sudden giddiness was coming from. He turned around once more, in order to make sure that she hadn't ran away out of fear he was going crazy..
And his face was met with snow..
"Oh.. I didn't mean to hit you in the face!" Usagi gasped between giggles. "You were just acting so odd, I had to do something.. Mamo-chan?"
He was already turning around hunched over in fake pain, Usagi hurried over mumbling apologies. She pressed her hand on his back, and before she could turn him around he pressed a handful of snow in her face.
"You are such a meanie, Mamo-chan!" Usagi squealed, backing away and hurrying to other side of the walkway to grab more snow.
He hurried behind her, and grabbed her arms before she could get more snow to throw at him. They must have looked very silly, but Mamoru couldn't make himself care. To make everything more hilarious, he had been the one who had lost his footing, and he started sliding. He fell forward, his hands still holding onto Usagi's arms.
The two of them fell into a pile of snow with a laugh.
Usagi was laughing harder now, tears streaming down her rosy cheeks- and face covered with snow. She was practically wheezing, and he was too. Although not so hard that he could barely talk between giggles.
He fell silent soon, as her giggles grew quiet and she looked up at him once more. His hands were still holding on to her arms and he was sure she must have felt like she was being crushed by him, but he couldn't bring himself to look away from her face.
He felt so many words hitting him at once, he was sure that he could have wrote a novel about every feeling he had for her at that moment. Everything that he had been dying to tell his colleagues about her hit him, and he found himself not willing to let it go so easily.
She was so beautiful to him, and he was a damn liar if he didn't wish he would have realized this sooner.
Her golden hair was tangled around them, strands sticking onto her face due to the snow. Her eyes were bright and staring into his, shining with mirth and child-like happiness.. The same happiness that had been mocked earlier that day. Her cheeks were rosy, her lips the same color due to the frigid air.
From this distance he could count every freckle, every eyelash.. Every snowflake. He could smell the scent of strawberries and cherry blossoms. She was so alive. That's what he loved about her.
She was messy, and disheveled.. And his girlfriend. The thought hit him all at once and he almost had to grab his chest, because he suddenly felt so drunk with this feeling he was sure he might faint.
The girl they had recommended for him was pretty.. But she could never be Usagi Tsukino.
"What is it?" She said, breathless.
"I'm just.." He whispered, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face. "You are so beautiful to me."
She blushed and before she could say anything, he pressed his lips to hers, letting go of her arms and cupping her face instead. Her hand found his cheek. They stayed that way, until Usagi pulled away.
"What's gotten into you, Mamo-chan?" She whispered.
"I just love you so much." He replied, eyes not leaving her face. "I just love you so much, and I never tell you enough. I never tell you how you make me feel and I should.. I should tell you."
"I already know." Usagi giggled. "I know, did you forget that we have two lifetimes worth of memories."
"No.." He trailed off. "I love you as Mamoru, not as Endymion. I love you as you are now. I love you in this moment, just you and me. I think we should love each other now, you know?"
He wasn't making any sense.
He was rambling.
"I would like that." Usagi nodded, smiling.
"I'm going to marry you one day, I swear." He said suddenly.
"I would hope so.." She giggled once more.
"No, I mean I'm going to marry you soon and it's going to be special and you're going to be so happy."
"Mamo-chan.." She raised an eyebrow. "Are you proposing to me? Now?"
"Not formally, but lets get married." He smiled. "Let's promise each other that we're going to get married, and then I'll give you a beautiful ring and-"
"After you've asked my father of course."
"Of course." He nodded, his fear of Kenji Tsukino slipping in his voice. "I'll propose to you formally and it will be everything you- everything that we ever wanted and we'll be happy."
She smiled, pulling him into a kiss once more. He eagerly obliged and he was cloud nine, so much so that he paid no mind to the fact that they were both soaked to the bone. It didn't matter to him. She mattered.
"You are everything." He whispered, pulling away.
"Oh my, this is like something straight out of one of Minako-chan's romance novels, if she knew about this.." She laughed.
They both grew quiet.
"Uh.. Can we get up now?" She mumbled. "I'm actually really cold."