Seared in my Memory
Prologue
January 2014
"Miley you ready to get out of here? Less than an hour until show time." My assistant and best friend Cheyenne says. I take one last hit from the Joint before I put it out, inhaling the smoke and watching it slowly pour out of my mouth.
"Yes boo, at least now I am." I say smiling as I quickly head into the black SUV with my mom and makeup artist Denika all sitting in the backseat with me. We were currently headed to the biggest music awards of the year, the Grammys. And I know I shouldn't be high, but let's face it. When am I, Miley Cyrus ever sober anymore? The answer is never. Some would say that Ihave a problem. But I don't, not even in the slightest. I stare out the window watching the rain gracefully fall from the sky, Making its way onto the car, as it rolls down the window. Each drop of rain racing; the one I watch making its way in first place. I know deep down my mom hates me smoking the weed; but she would never say anything about it, at least to my face.
"Baby you ready for this?" she asks, squeezing my knee in support. I smile and nod my head.
"Mama you know I was born ready." I was going to be performing one of my biggest hits of last year 'Wrecking Ball'. People we're going to be surprised with this performance for once; nothing over the top. Just me, the piano, and my voice. I wasn't even going to have backup singers. I'm ready for a change; I want to shock the world tonight, but this time in a good way. With the talent god has given me. Truthfully I was kind of bummed I wasn't up for any kind of award for the night. I worked my ass off on Bangerz. Two years of my life went into that album; I put everything I had into it, every single fiber of my being. I sure as hell knew I deserved that shit; shit the whole world knew I deserved it. Even if they didn't necessarily agree with my "outrageous" decisions. I mean not that I wasn't grateful for being asked to perform. I was In fact very thankful to the Grammy association for even asking me. Performing at the Grammys is a great honor in itself, not that I haven't already accomplished performing at the Grammys in my career. But that's when I was sixteen; I had no idea who I was back then. Without a doubt I was a completely different person back in 2009. And this time I will have the stage to myself. No sharing with swifty; all too myself, kind of like I did with the world last year.
The car suddenly makes a stop in front of the Grammy red carpet. I could already hear the screams from outside of the SUV. I hop out once my team gives me the okay to do so. Tonight I kept it classy; wearing a long Marc Jacobs gold sparkly gown, a little bit of cleavage showing, but not too much; definitely not the typical Miley look. The hair still short of course but the color was different. I decided to go back to my natural hair color of brown. Always had to keep people talking in one way or another. As soon as one foot made its way onto the red carpet, it started.
"Miley, Miley over here!" one reporter yells. Hundreds of camera lights flashing in my face; blinding me upon impact; hundreds of voices calling my name.
"Give us an over the shoulder." another yelled.
"New hair I see. Looks fantastic! Now give us a huge smile." Never ending voices and flashes coming from all directions. "What do you think of not being nominated Miley?" a photog asks.
"Miley! Miley...Miley." I roll my eyes, trying not to look too irritated I flash them a smile as I slowly move down the red carpet. The photographers like annoying bugs that won't stop buzzing in my ear. I was honestly so annoyed; I absolutely hated red carpets! Thank The Lord I smoked that joint before I left the house or I might have gone crazy. I kept moving down the carpet barley being able to see a thing; before I know it slamming into someone beside me. Someone who was also getting her picture taken.
"Oh my god!" I gasp turning around to say sorry. Gently placing my hand on the girls arm "I'm so sorry! these damn paparazzi, I can't see a thing." she suddenly rolls her eyes and snatches her arm away from my hand, as I am slightly taken a back.
"Excuse me!?" the girl with long brown hair wearing a short red dress and heels yells at me. "Watch where you are going!" Okay. Who the fuck does this girl think she is anyways, talking to me, Miley Cyrus like that. She suddenly turns to face the man standing next to her, who happens to be holding her hand; she starts to complain to him not so obviously about me. And that's when I notice who the girl is. It's no one other than miss universe herself Olivia Culpo and her current beau; my ex, my first love Nicholas Jonas.
Nick suddenly notices me noticing him. Obviously still annoyed with his girlfriend. If I don't like you I make it known. Shit, I'm not about none of that being fake in front of the cameras bullshit. Which is what nick is definitely all about. But really who the fuck does this girl think she is? I was just about to go off on her and nick knew it. That's when he decided to make his move and say something to me.
"Miley." he says walking towards me, subtly moving us away from little miss princess over there. "Fancy seeing you here." Nick tries to give me a hug. I comply; arms crossed, body language completely closed off. "Yeah?" I question. "Long time no see. But I thought the Jonas brothers broke up? so why are you at the Grammys." I ask. "You know the place where you celebrate the released music of the year." I say with a smirk on my lips.
"Miley. What's your problem?" he whispers angrily, obviously trying to be subtle; not wanting people to hear. Yeah I know that was a pretty bitchy rude thing for me to say but if you only knew what he has put me through in these pasts months. I laugh out loud not believing he just asked me that. "Your girlfriend!" I say "You know the one standing right there is my fucking problem." I yell loud enough for not only her to hear, but everyone. Because truthfully at this point I really couldn't give two fucks about who hears me or not. She huffs crossing her arms, rolling her eyes. "Well maybe she should watch where she's walking next time." Miss bitchy says under her breath, just loud enough for nick to hear. "Bitch you want to say that too my face?" I ask Olivia moving towards her. I was about this close too punching her in the face. I could already read the headlines that night. 'BREAKING: MILEY CYRUS PUTS HER EX NICK JONAS'S CURRENT GF MISS UNIVERSE IN THE HOSPITAL AT THE 2014 GRAMMYS!' Nick quickly intervenes pulling me to the side into a private area out of sight and away from his precious angel and the flashing lights. She continues standing in front of the cameras getting her picture taken; absolutely flourishing in all of the newly found attention she's getting. She's obviously not used to it. I quickly snatch his hands off of my arm. "Don't touch me!" I yell at him, more than clearly annoyed.
"What are you doing Miley!" he yells back at me.
"Teaching miss universe over there a lesson on how to treat others with a little respect." I reply back to him.
"I don't think what you were about to do to my girlfriend was showing someone respect." he replies back to me. Of course using the words 'my girlfriend', as if I didn't already know. God he's so annoying. "Is this about me not calling you the other night?" he asks me. I'm furious now. Oh my god I can't believe he would even go there!
"No!" I say "This is not about you not calling me! And will you keep your voice down?" I whisper. " We really don't need people knowing our business Nicholas." he laughs to himself. "Oh and what's so funny now nick?" I question him, at this point beyond irritated with the twenty one year old man standing in front of me. Nick continues laughing. "What do you mean? Just a second ago you we're going to beat my girlfriend up in front of the entire world." he says. Again using the two words 'my girlfriend'. I huff to myself "Well that's different." I say knowingly. "And how exactly is that different Miles?" I roll my eyes at him. "Do not call me that! It's Miley, how many times do I have to tell you?" I say. "Fine. Miley." he says emphasizing the e and y at the end of my name, while using his hands as quotation marks. "Thank you." I say smiling feeling satisfied with his answer. "Miley, you never answered my question. How is it any different?" nick asks once again. "It just is." I state placing my arms across my chest, looking up at him, into his eyes. He suddenly changes moods and smiles down at me, his brown eyes staring into my blue orbs. "What?" I ask. "By the way you look absolutely gorgeous tonight. I love your new hair. And your eyes look beautiful as always." Nick says grabbing my hands away from my chest, intertwining our fingers together, not only making me blush uncontrollably, but making me forget about all of the turmoil and bullshit he has put me through in the past few weeks. As he slowly moves towards my lips I quickly snap out of the trance nick has put me in. Pulling my hands always from his. "What are you doing?" I angrily ask him. He looks confused. "Well I was about to kiss you, until you pulled away." he replies back to me. He leans towards my face trying to do it again, but I stop him once more. "You have a girlfriend Nick." I state. "We can't do this anymore." I say with sadness lingering in my voice, as I quickly walk away from the only man I've ever truly loved. Both of our hearts breaking with every step I take.