Title: Guilty
Author: pteek
Pairing: Sai/Torajirou (Honinbou Shuusaku)
Rating: G
Genre: Angst, romance, hinted yaoi/slash
Summary: Torajirou is dying, and Sai has an epiphany.
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own them.
A/N: My first HnG -ficlet. Nothing special, just the basic cliché soup of the day. But comments are still much appreciated!
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Guilty
He looked down at the man beside him, lying on his back with the covers pulled tightly around him. His skin was burning with fever, his eyes closed in restless sleep, his body suffering from the last blows of the sickness. Not long, he would not last long anymore.
Sai looked at the man trashing on the bed, holding onto his life with the last remains of his strength.
The child he had met by the Go board all those years ago, how quickly had he grown up? The seasons had changed, the months, the years had gone by, and the child had become a young man, then a man, and now. Now he was dying.
This man, he had given his whole life to him. His whole life to let him play Go. Sai felt the sudden realisation hit him like a blow to his stomach, the air he did not breath anymore leaving his non-existing lungs with a loud gasp. His whole life - and what had he ever given to him, to his Torajirou?
The man moaned in his sleep, the pangs of pain making his body tense up.
Sai lowered his eyes, hid his face behind the white fan. The tears in his eyes shined like silver, trickled down the fine line of his jaw, down to the whiteness of his clothing. He had been selfish, he had let his love for Go consume this man. He had taken this life, his life, and given nothing in return.
As if hearing the guilty thoughts, the man stirred and opened his bleary eyes. Searching, as always, for the sight of his friend, the man turned to look at him.
"Sai?" his voice was faint, barely audible. He gestured him to lower the fan, to let him see his face for one more time.
"You are sad because you can't play Go anymore."
It was not a question, but a statement. But as Sai shook his head, denying this, then realised that it was true. He was not sad because of the game, but because his friend was dying, leaving him. And he did not want to leave, not now that he had finally understood what it meant to care about someone.
"No, my Torajirou, I'm sad because of you."
But the man was leaving him, taking the last steps of his life, his eyes getting unfocused, glazed.
"Sai. Gomen, Sai."
He was fading, with nothing holding him to this world anymore, and all he wanted to do was stay, stay by his friend, his beloved Torajirou. He reached to touch him, to seek out the caress that was so undeniably denied from him.
"No, my Torajirou, I'm the one who should be sorry."
"And I am."
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Author: pteek
Pairing: Sai/Torajirou (Honinbou Shuusaku)
Rating: G
Genre: Angst, romance, hinted yaoi/slash
Summary: Torajirou is dying, and Sai has an epiphany.
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own them.
A/N: My first HnG -ficlet. Nothing special, just the basic cliché soup of the day. But comments are still much appreciated!
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Guilty
He looked down at the man beside him, lying on his back with the covers pulled tightly around him. His skin was burning with fever, his eyes closed in restless sleep, his body suffering from the last blows of the sickness. Not long, he would not last long anymore.
Sai looked at the man trashing on the bed, holding onto his life with the last remains of his strength.
The child he had met by the Go board all those years ago, how quickly had he grown up? The seasons had changed, the months, the years had gone by, and the child had become a young man, then a man, and now. Now he was dying.
This man, he had given his whole life to him. His whole life to let him play Go. Sai felt the sudden realisation hit him like a blow to his stomach, the air he did not breath anymore leaving his non-existing lungs with a loud gasp. His whole life - and what had he ever given to him, to his Torajirou?
The man moaned in his sleep, the pangs of pain making his body tense up.
Sai lowered his eyes, hid his face behind the white fan. The tears in his eyes shined like silver, trickled down the fine line of his jaw, down to the whiteness of his clothing. He had been selfish, he had let his love for Go consume this man. He had taken this life, his life, and given nothing in return.
As if hearing the guilty thoughts, the man stirred and opened his bleary eyes. Searching, as always, for the sight of his friend, the man turned to look at him.
"Sai?" his voice was faint, barely audible. He gestured him to lower the fan, to let him see his face for one more time.
"You are sad because you can't play Go anymore."
It was not a question, but a statement. But as Sai shook his head, denying this, then realised that it was true. He was not sad because of the game, but because his friend was dying, leaving him. And he did not want to leave, not now that he had finally understood what it meant to care about someone.
"No, my Torajirou, I'm sad because of you."
But the man was leaving him, taking the last steps of his life, his eyes getting unfocused, glazed.
"Sai. Gomen, Sai."
He was fading, with nothing holding him to this world anymore, and all he wanted to do was stay, stay by his friend, his beloved Torajirou. He reached to touch him, to seek out the caress that was so undeniably denied from him.
"No, my Torajirou, I'm the one who should be sorry."
"And I am."
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