Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or Xena: Warrior Princess and I'm sure as hell ain't making any money from this. Have You Met Miss Jones?' Written by Lorenz Hart and Richard Rodgers

~I~

"Have you met Miss Jones
Someone said as we shook hands
She was just Miss Jones to me..."

Balloons fell from the ceiling and the band played as she twirled mindlessly. She didn't know whose arms had hold of her and she didn't really care. The idea of disowning ones family had always appealed to her and recent events only strengthened her conviction on the subject - her cousin's wedding.

The announcement of her cousin's plans to wed in only three weeks had come as no big shock; anyone who had ears had heard the little piece of news that there was a bun in the oven. Being a good girl she had done the only 'respectable' thing; dressed as a meringue and prepared to give birth in eight months time to a 'premature' baby.

The band finished the song and the MC charged on stage drunk as a skunk to tell a bad joke and make a complete ass of himself. Someone grabbed her arm and dragged her outside before lighting up a smoke.

"You know, Xena, as bridesmaid you should smile," her brother smirked, almost dropping his smoke while eyeing her salmon coloured attire with distaste.

The orange ruffles and large amounts of lace draped over her body did nothing for her mood, and she whacked him over the head with her matching purse.

"The colour reminds me of puked up pate."

"Charming, Lyceus," Xena rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Have you seen Toris tonight?"

"Our darling brother? Well, earlier I saw him consume large amounts of alcohol and pass out on his dinner plate. That was closely followed by round two and then I believe I saw him disappear into the coat closet with the groom's sister." Lyceus paused and looked up at the sky. "Do you ever wonder why he's still the golden child and we're the black sheep?"

"He's married with children, we're not. The family image is what works for mum; let's face it, we're screw-ups. You're gay and I'm not a mini-her."

Lyceus laughed bitterly and when he stopped he adopted the mocking voice of his mother, "it is a phase, isn't it? You'll get over this 'gay' thing right?"

"Do you ever want more?" Xena rocked and back and forth on her heels while pulling at some of the lace.

"What more could I want? I have a darling sister who manages to pull off puke pate and still look elegant and who accepts me for me, and who loves me. I have Apollo and I love him. Sure I'd love mum to be all happy for me but somehow I don't see her marching in the parents section of the Mardi Gras."

"I like Apollo, he's good enough for you." Two pairs of bright blue eyes met and Lyceus had to squeeze his shut.

"We're going to have a ceremony, nothing fancy, just close friends and family. It would mean the world to me if you stood up for me. I promise no ugly salmon dress, I'm thinking more Colette Dinnighan!"

For the first time Xena no longer felt the need to disown her family; at least this family wasn't going to make her wear an ugly dress.