I do not own any of these characters. Stephenie Meyer created all of them; I just like to mess with them :)
I have to give a thank you to Sarah at IMDB for being my first reader!
All of the characters are human :)
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"Isabella Marie Swan! Get your butt in here now!"
I pulled the bedspread tighter over my head trying to ignore Alice's shrill voice calling me from the kitchen.
"Not on your life" I grumbled, knowing my petite friend wanted. Ever since she purchased "The Perfect Scrambler" from the home shopping network, Rosalie and I had been subjected to countless mad science experiments that Alice tried to pass off as breakfast. Yesterday was the "Pancake and Sausage Omelet", and I refused to try another. It had quickly become clear that the cooking should only be left to me.
When the three of us moved in together, it was easy to see the roles of the house. Behind her brilliant blonde hair, and beautiful figure that rendered countless men speechless, Rosalie Hale was a rough and tumble mechanic, with the uncanny ability to not only fix cars, but any broken sink, toilet, shower, refrigerator, toaster, microwave, or stove that came her way. The amount of money we had saved having Rosalie as a roommate would probably send an electrician or plumber into convulsions.
Alice controlled the finances and by controlled I mean, she bought whatever she wanted and we did not object. Alice's father was a predominant psychologist in Mississippi, making her one of the most financially stable college students in America. She never flaunted her wealth, but it was apparent in her clothes and constant hunger for shopping. Alice also knew how to shop smart, and her ability to monitor and predict when stores were having sales was frightening at times. She kept the apartment looking like an ad in a home decorating magazine, which was something Rosalie and I could never manage alone.
If Alice wasn't rearranging the furniture or scoping out a sale, she was trying to improve someone's fashion life….usually mine. My very casual style sent Alice off the deep end and at least once a week she attempted to enlighten me with some unnecessary piece of designer clothing.
Fashion was not my forte; however, cooking was, with the exception of Alice's recent Scrambler obsession. Unfortunately, the cleaning was also left to me, since I was the only one who knew the mechanics of a mop. Alice had grown up with a house keeper, and Rosalie…well…she was just a slob. I assumed the permanent role of maid after I found my hair brush stuck to a plate of mystery food behind the couch one day.
For three years we have survived living together, though thick and thin. Through bad days, bad dates, break ups, hook ups, mess ups, tears, and laughter, we have always stuck together. I couldn't ask for much more.
"BELLLLLAAA SWAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"
"Well, maybe a muzzle for Alice" I thought as I pulled the covers up even further.
It took me about five minutes to finally pull myself out of bed and into the hallway. I slumped into the nearest kitchen chair to find an equally tired, miserable Rosalie glaring at me from across the table.
"You just HAD to let her cook, huh Bella? You couldn't just let her down easy?"
I folded my arms on the table and put my head down as Rosalie continued to glare. It wasn't my fault that our roommate was the anti-Emeril.
Alice turned from the stove and pranced over to us "It's just a regular egg and cheese omelet today girls" she chirped. I slowly lifted my head in confusion to see a decent looking spread of omelet, toast and OJ being set on the table.
"I got the recipe from the guy I've been seeing. He's great in the kitchen."
Rose and I each took a careful helping of omelet and carefully bit into it, still cautiously eyeing Alice but to our utter surprise, it was good. Very good.
Without missing a beat Rosalie grabbed the entire plate out of Alice's tiny hands and began scarfing its contents.
"Keep him Alice. Or at least let him write you a recipe book before you dump him" I said between bites.
"How bout you just marry him now?" Rose said through a mouthful of omelet.
Alice sighed and flopped gracefully in an empty chair "I think I will…He might be perfect Rose."
I rolled my eyes and washed my bite of toast down with juice "Only him and the 12 other guys you've dated in the past year"
"Not fair." Alice pouted, "I didn't say ALL of them were perfect. This one's different though. It's like he knows how I feel, before I'm even feeling it. Last night we went to see this movie about a beautiful vampire that falls in love with a human"
"What a shocker" I said sarcastically. Alice was a sucker for romance no matter what form it came in.
"It's not funny. It was beautiful story" Alice defended. "And just as I felt like I was going to cry, he grabbed my hand, like he already knew" She said staring dreamily into her cup of orange juice.
"Maybe it wasn't your hand he was reaching for" Rosalie laughed.
Alice shot her a deadly look. "Shut it Rose. Bella, don't you think that's something?" Alice looked at me with naïve eyes.
"Alice, you know how I am, I'm not really into the whole romance, lovey dovey crap."
"Which is why you haven't had a boyfriend since we moved in two years ago" Alice chortled.
"I don't have time for a boyfriend" I said defensively, "Once school slows down for me, maybe I'll date seriously"
"You could do what I do" Rosalie chimed in.
"Rose, I wouldn't call what you do 'dating'. It's more like…seduce men to sleep with you and then never call them again"
"And what, pray tell, is wrong with having a healthy sex life?" Rosalie slammed her cup on the table.
"Nothing" I said "I just don't think it's my type of lifestyle"
Alice bit into a piece of omelet and stared at Rosalie, "Speaking of your love life Rose" she started "I set you up with one of Jaspers friends. He's supposed to be a real sweet heart but kind of lonely at the moment, very much your type"
Alice was always attempting to set people up on dates. Usually Rosalie and I fell under the radar, but apparently Rose hadn't been so lucky today.
"Alice" Rosalie glared, biting angrily into a piece of toast, "I have plans tonight"
Alice stuck out her bottom lip like a small child "Please Rose…please don't cancel. It would mean so much to Jasper, and I don't want to jeopardize anything with him"
Rosalie sighed and folded her arms over her chest "Fine. But I'm not promising anything, understand?"
Alice raised two fingers to her forehead "Scouts honor" she saluted "Just one blind date. I'm sure it will be fine"
After devouring the surprisingly great breakfast Alice prepared, washing the dishes and dispersing into our rooms, I was sitting on my bed reading "Pride and Prejudice" when Rosalie walked in and shut the door behind her.
"Bella." She smiled sweetly, walking over to my bed and stroking my hair "Bella, Bella, Bella"
I pursed my lips, knowing that she had some crazy request up her sleeve. "Yes Rosalie?"
"Bella…you know that I would do anything for you, and I don't usually ask for much. Have I mentioned how nice your hair looks lately? I love your new shoes- "
"Get to the point Rose" I hissed.
She sighed and took a deep breath in, "Will you please take my place on the date tonight? You can pretend to be me…I don't care. I don't even mind if you treat him like crap…just don't make me go. I will owe you for life….please?" Her face was fixated into a huge pleading smile.
I exhaled heavily and closed my book. I knew Rosalie would do this for me in a heart beat, and it was the least I could do after the multiple times she repaired something I had broken in my clumsy wake.
"Fine." I mumbled. Rosalie's eyes went wide and she tackled me into a hug.
"Thank you so much Bells! Oh, I can't even tell you how grateful I am. I have a gorgeous date for tonight and there is no way I can cancel." She rambled as she danced out of my room.
"Yea, yea. Well think of me sitting with your goober blind date while you're with Mr. Gorgeous!" I yelled after her. I pulled myself off the bed and headed towards the shower, "There better be drinks on this date" I thought to myself.
Edward
"PLEASE Edward?!" Emmett begged.
I inhaled deeply trying to calm myself. Emmett's begging was not something I dealt with easily. Especially at ten in the morning.
"Emmett. Why in the world would I ever go on YOUR blind date?"
"Because…I just can't. I hate blind dates. They are creepy"
"Well there's great justification" I rolled my eyes.
"Come on man. I'm begging you. She could be a serial killer."
"Doubtful Emmett. Alice told Jasper that she is beautiful and great with tools." I smirked "Sounds perfect for you"
"Great with TOOLS? What NORMAL girl that you know is GOOD with tools? She's probably a psycho." Emmett slumped further into the couch. "Please Edward. Not only that, but I'm not really ready to date after-"
"Stop" I cut him off, "If you utter the name Jessica, I just might kill you"
Emmett stared at me like a child who'd been struck. His breakup with Jessica Stanley was one of the most annoying things Jasper and I had ever endured with Emmett. He acted as if it was yesterday when it ended five months ago. To be truthful, I never liked Jessica. She was manipulative, rude, and talked more than any human I've ever met. I still question the stability of Emmett's mental state while he dated her. Even so, I could see that some of his wounds were still there. Behind Emmett's burly tough exterior, he was truly a kindred, sensitive person.
I sighed and took a long breath in before making my decision "Fine Emmett. I will go. But I am not going to be charming, or even nice for that matter, and you owe me…big time"
Emmett pulled me into a bear hug, cutting off my oxygen intake "Thanks man, I cannot thank you enough. Seriously Edward, I love ya"
"I knew it" Laughed a voice behind us. Jasper walked into the living room with a dish of pancakes and some orange juice. "It was only a matter of time before you two came out"
Emmett walked over to Jasper and smacked him in the head before grabbing the dish "Shut the hell up man. I'm not the one cooking fluffy pancakes like Betty Crocker"
"If it weren't for me, you two would starve!" Jasper retorted.
"That's bull! I have Fu-Ming's Kitchen, AND Dominos on speed dial!" Emmett yelled through a mouthful of pancake.
"Shut it, both of you." I cut in. I was not in the mood for yelling. My impending blind date doom was looming over my head.
Ever since I moved in with them, Jasper and Emmett fought like children over the stupidest of situations. I once had to break up a fight because Jasper took Armor King before Emmett in a round of Tekken. I guess living together for 23 years made them a little crazy.
Although I was sometimes tempted to bean them in the head with poles, their friendship was about the most stable thing in my life. Their relationship as brothers was eternally strong, but they always made me feel like a member of the family…the more mature one of course.
"Yea. Listen to him, Mrs. Crocker" Emmett said mockingly.
"Just sit down and eat your pancakes…animal." Jasper grumbled cutting into a stack of pancakes.
As much as the two fought, they always had each others backs. Jasper recently started dating a girl in his "Advanced History" class, who he swore was the love of his life. From what I knew she had two roommates, one of which Jasper tried to set Emmett up with in an attempt to pull him out of his post-Jessica slump. The same one I was being forced to go on a blind date with tonight.
"Should be interesting" I thought to myself. "I wonder if there will be drinks"
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This is my first attempt at Fan Fiction, so reviews would be much appreciated. I don't want to waste internet space if it sucks.