A/N: This is just a parody of those certain Fan Fictions That hate Lissanna and Lucy Gets kicked out and then quits. It's also making fun of those Love triangles, squares, hexagons ;) There's so many out there that It gets kinda annoying.

I sigh in deep deep deep deep deep deep deep depression. So deep it feels as if Juvia is drowning me. I hate my life and everyone else in the guild hates me too. They all have been ignoring me except, Mira, Levy, Wendy, and Gajeel. I've somehow managed to pay my rent even though I haven't been on a mission for three months. It's all because that whore Lissanna. (Even though she did nothing wrong).

"Hey Luigi!" Natsu calls out depressed.

"It's Lucy." I correct.

"Yeah yeah who cares? Hey guess what? I'm dating Lissanna now, so that means I have to kick you out of team Natsu and replace you with Lissanna. Also you're weak and pathetic even though if it wasn't for you the Guild Masters would be dead and we would too." He announces uncharacteristically.

"Sorry Lucy, but you're a whore, skank bag, bitch." Lissanna giggles, "I have to call you these names so the fans have a reason to hate me even though I'm actually one of the sweetest characters in the anime."

I cry a river of tears and Run for the Masters office. "Master I wish to quit Fairy Tail and set off to be a stronger mage and eventually I'll train and fall in love with Hibiki, Laxus, Sting, Rogue, or even Zaref. "

I notice the master crying a river of tears that nearly out does my river, but of course, I cry harder and win the river crying contest.. "We will miss you greatly! Come back to us my child!" The master cries while removing my guild mark.

I run out of the hall as fast as I can and head home to pack my bags. Loke appears and suddenly has all my bags packed. He then returns to the spirit world and I leave my apartment and head for the train station. I decide that I didn't need to tell the land lord that I left and decide that she will figure it out for herself.

After three horrible months of training with Capricorn I can feel that my magic energy is way way way stronger than before. I leave the woods that I'm living in (Wild animals don't exist just for my convenience) and head out to go shop for food with the money I somehow have. On my way out of the store, someone bumps into me and everything falls from my arms. I look up just to be greeted with the most beautiful blue eyes ever. So beautiful I feel as if I'm going to melt.

"Hey your blonde!" He gasped.

"You are too!" I relied, equally shocked.

"We should get together because our blondness! I'm Sting by the way." He winks.

"Yeah we should. I'm Lucy." I Blush.

"You should join Sabertooth." He suggests.

"But I'm not strong enough." I pout, forgetting about the groceries on the ground.

"I'll abandon my team and train you."

"Ok!"

After three more months of training Sting became annoying.

"I miss Lector!" He would whine every day.

"How about you go get him and then come back. Your team hasn't seen or questioned your disappearance either." I suggest.

"I'll go get him!" Sting zooms out of the woods.

I stroll around the city I'm in and-

"Lucy? Is that you?" Hibiki gasps.

"Yeah." I answer.

RANDOM POV CHANGE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CHAPTER!

Natsu POV

It has been six months since Lucy left and everyone in the guild hates me even though they're just as guilty. It's all Lissannas fault! She told me not to talk to Lucy and I listened for some reason. Lissanna is a bitch.

"Hey Lissanna you're a bitch!" I yell at her.

"Yeah!" Mirajane joins in.

"You are not my sister anymore." Elfman glares.

"NOOOOO! This is all Lucy's Fault! That whore!" Lissanna cries while running out the hall.

Everyone cheers and we party for three weeks straight!

LUCY POV

Two weeks has passed and Hibiki, Sting, Rogue and I are traveling around a mountain for some strange reason.

"Let's train Blondie!" Sting yells.

"Don't call me Blondie or I'll kick your ass!" I declare and beat him up easily with new magic that I had no idea I possessed until I started training.

"Woah Lucy you're so strong!" Hibiki eyes turn into hearts.

"Lucy fight me!" Laxus jumps from the top of the mountain on to the ground.

"Ok!" I then summon all my spirits which somehow doesn't drain any energy. They all attack him! Even Plue and Aquarius, because I'm so strong that she doesn't need water to fight anymore.

"I think I'm in love." All the guys say at the same time.

"Aww I love you all too!" I kiss everyone's cheeks. "Now lets go show Fairy Tail how strong I am!"

"YEAH!"

After two months of traveling, we finally make it back to Magnolia. "Lucy!" Levy yells from the train station, as she was expecting us.

"Levy-chan!"

"Lu-chan! Are you going to beat Lissanna up? I support you a hundred and sixty nine percent." She winks.

"Yeah! And Hibiki, Sting, Rogue, and Laxus are there to support and call her names in the background. Then I must choose one of them to spend the rest of my life with!" I announce.

"Okay lets go!" She drags me to the guild hall.

"OMG! Lucy's back!" Erza shrieks. "I'm so sorry for the way I have treated you! In all honesty I've always had a crush on you!"

"It's ok Erza! I'm not mad." I smile." I'm pissed." I then glare at everyone in the room. "I'm hear to fuck shit up!" I announce

"I can't let you do that Lucy!" Gray yells while summoning one of his Ice makes.

"Lucy Kick!" I yell and kick Gray through the wall. Everyone in the hall cower in fear at my newfound power and bow beneath my feat.

"Lucy I'm sorry! This whole time I thought I was in love with Lissanna, but I'm actually in love with you." Natsu confesses.

"Oh Natsu I could never be mad at you!" I run into his arms and kiss him. Then we all live happily ever after. (Except for Laxus, Hibiki, Rogue, and Sting) The end.