Pairings: Axel/Roxas, Riku/Roxas, Riku/Sora
--
"So, I heard Riku is dumping you," someone says from behind him. Roxas takes a bite out of his cheese sandwich and chews, determindedly ignoring his friend. Axel who has moved to sit across him, notes Roxas' lack of reaction and tries to get his attention by attempting to steal his drink, but Roxas swats at his hand.
"Aren't you surprised? You should be moping by now."
Roxas scowls. "Stop trying to steal my drink."
Axel sighs dramatically. "And here I am, concerned about the wellbeing of my best friend, who is currently ignoring my attempts at telling him something very vital to his emotional stability. Ah, my heart, it burns!" He gasps and clutches his shirt with much exaggeration.
Roxas rolls his eyes, and dumps his entire drink on Axel's jeans.
--
Axel approaches him again two hours later in class.
"Riku's been making googly eyes at your cousin," Axel reports, "I have witnessed it with my own eyes. They sat this" – the redhead held up his hand, thumb and index finger so close they were almost touching – "close to each other. How awful is that?"
His friend continues arranging his notes, scattered haphazardly on the table, all the result of Axel slamming his hands on the table with more force than absolutely necessary.
"Roxasssssssss, listen to me," Axel whines, tugging at Roxas' hand and pouting. It looks ridiculous, Roxas thinks, that pout. Doesn't move him one bit.
So he pokes him in the forehead and pushes Axel's head back forcefully, looking back at his book with a stern "Shut up".
--
"I think we should do something about Riku," Axel announces, after barging into Roxas' room one day, holding a bright pink clipboard and a matching pen. "I personally think that the best method is to put him into a fireplace and burn him alive, but drowning him in a pool works too. Or maybe, we can bury him alive in the beach."
Roxas sits up on his bed and yawns. "Why?"
Axel stares at him for a total of 9.3 seconds, and then wails, "Roxas, how could you? I thought you listened to me, all these times I tried to tell you that Riku was a no-goodie! But they were all in vain!" He waved his clipboard.
"Mmm," Roxas replies with disinterest, "So what's up with your clipboard? Have you finally turned gay?"
The redhead's cheeks flush a little at this.
"It isn't mine, it's Kairi's. I borrowed it for the sake of this V.I.P, which stands for Very Important Project, which is killing Riku, because he is cheating on you and we know you don't like being cheated on, because who does, right? Right. And this is why I'm at your house at this very moment, though I'm a little surprised that you're already up, I was hoping I could wake you up with this fun method I got from Demyx."
"I see." Roxas nods.
"Yeah."
Roxas grabs his blanket and lifts it over his head, muttering viciously. "Goodnight, Axel. See yourself out of the door and don't talk to me for the next seven hours, unless you want to find yourself in hell."
--
Roxas finds Axel in his house seven hours later, when he wakes up. Apparently, the redhead is talking to someone on Roxas' phone. He really does not intend on eavesdropping, it's just a coincidence that he can hear him when goes to the kitchen to make himself coffee.
"Yeah, it isn't going rather well. What? What?! No! That'll make him mad!"
The blonde coughs loudly, which attracts Axel's attention. The redhead mumbles something quickly and then hides the phone behind him, smiling innocently.
"Yes? Is something wrong?"
Roxas ponders about strangling Axel for using his phone without his permission but steps down the urge to. Instead, he exhales audibly, "Want a coffee?"
--
"He's going to break your heart! This is ridiculous!"
Roxas sighs, which is becoming a fast trend now when he is anywhere near Axel, who keeps reminding him continuously that he should break up with Riku because he is totally cheating on him with Sora. "He is not, Axel. "
Axel looks a little lost. "How would you know?"
"You'd do something if he was," he replies, flipping a page of his magazine, "since you're my best friend. Right?"
The redhead grins and tackles Roxas to the ground, earning a yelp from the blonde as he falls over.
--
"Riku is going to ask Sora out, I hear."
Again with that rumour, Roxas thinks, wanting to just fall over and sleep his way through the day. Axel, who seems oblivious to Roxas' mental breakdown, chirps loudly, "I wonder if Roxas is going to break up with Riku…I think he totally should! What a jerk that Riku is, casting him aside just like that."
And then he swings his arms over Roxas' shoulders and whispers, "You'd have more people to woo you anyway."
Roxas shakes him off with a kick to the shin and a furious huff.
--
"Roxas," Axel is pouting again, "Why won't you dump Riku? Hasn't he been ill-treating you? Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnn," he whines stubbornly, pulling at his friend's shirt insistently. Roxas sighs loudly, exasperated, and extracts his shirt from the redhead's grip.
"Just what is your problem with Riku?"
Axel stammers pitifully. "He…I…I mean, I…I mean, he is cheating on you! That will break your heart and this equals to 'NO' in my brains. Because you should never get your heart broken, and I'm saying this because I'm your wonderfully nice best friend, and you should listen to me."
"Okay, great, excellent, goodbye." Roxas stands up and leaves Axel frowning unhappily.
--
Axel is still unhappy even as he walks into Roxas' room the next day, looking at the floor instead of the room's occupant. But he lifts his head when he sniffs the smell of cookies.
"Here," Roxas pushes a plate of them towards him. "I made cookies today."
Axel visibly brightened. "For me?" He brightened even more when Roxas nods, and stuffs a cookie into his mouth, crunching happily.
"I broke up with Riku," Roxas says suddenly. Axel's mind halts and tries to backtrack frantically.
"What?"
"I dumped Riku," Roxas repeats, not looking depressed or melancholy at all, "We're not even really dating, so whatever. It was just to make you jealous, really."
Axel is gaping by now. "…What?"
"I said, I tried to make you jealous. And it worked didn't it? You told me stupid rumours that you completely made up," he says again, chewing on a cookie. "And, Riku pretended he was helping you. So those phonecalls he made to you were scripted. And please close your mouth, you're drooling and that's disgusting."
"You…what? I…what? What?"
Roxas rolls his eyes and dabs a tissue paper on his chin. "I know you like me – you're not very subtle – and I like you too, okay? Now quit looking stupid and close your mouth already."
"But, Roxas! How could you! This – This was a great blow to my ego, and you just brushed it off like that? You're heartless! I should never have fancied you."
"Shut up," Roxas leans in and kisses Axel, "At least I like you back."
--
fin.
Word count: 12??
Eyes hurt. Haven't been re-read and not going to care about doing that because it's too late at night, so sorry for any stupid grammar or spelling and stupid plot. Maybe will do it tomorrow or whatever.