Life With Paper & Pen

by alexjchurbock

A Young boy struggles to survive under his father's rules to be in complete isolation from the rest of the world. The boy in times begins to become an amazing writers and in the long run sees his tragic flaw.

Life with a Paper & Pen

By: Alex Churbock

My life began on an eye shut, a regret that lived within me. I only saw the past, that I could see. My father never talked much. He only commanded chores from me. He had a fear still embroiled in him from long ago. This fear had caused him to become alienated from the rest of the world around him. I had to follow in his footsteps. I was forced to live the life he wanted. I never saw my true self, just a shadow of him.

It's a rather sad story of my father's pain. I can only recall ever seeing him happy when he was once in love. He never talked about his wife (my mother). One day from what I remember, I found an item strewed to the floor. What I found was a picture, a picture of lost memories and lives. I looked on the back of the picture to find the words neatly inscribed, "Julie and I". It was my mother, as I knew her well. I never knew what exactly happened, but one day, she never returned.

I never knew my father to be religious until the day my mother left for the vacation called heaven. He began to call himself, "A Man of God". Ever since that day, he became a reverend. He spent day in and day out building a church with the local neighbors until one day, it was finally complete. I never recall seeing my father ever happier than he was on that day. I thought everything would be fine in the end. I was happy, because father was happy. What could I do? As long a father was happy, life seemed brighter. The sun seemed to shine brighter and the rain seemed to come less. Unfortunately, since the rain never came, we had a drought. It was the largest drought that anyone could recall.

With that drought, more people began to become interested in church as a hope for God to send rain. It was my father's duty to provide all of these people with hope. That's how my father began to grow into the person I know today. My story, the chapter of my life I am so interested in forgetting, came only on a sunny afternoon day. You would not expect it to be so, but I had grown to be a kid as everyone else has once in their life. I began to have friends and people to be with other than my father. Unfortunately, that scared my father. Having already lost my mother, he didn't want to lose me as well.

Suddenly, I became horrifically punished for no apparent reason. My father exclaimed, "You'll never see the light of day from this room again!" I did as he said, until one day it all changed. My father came in with a stack of paper and a pen. He laid them both next to me and stated, "This will be your new life. Write what you see, feel and love. As you do this, you shall give your patronage to the lord." I knew what my father wanted. He had plans for me to be his vision of a son. It seemed as if I had no choice but to follow him. Yet life, all of the sudden, would change. That's when I would become the person I am today.

I wrote day after day. I wrote about God. I wrote for the lord. With time, my father's anger seemed to settle down. His mind became less determined on his own satisfaction, but rather on others. Even though I prayed every day to be free, I never felt the satisfaction. Every evening I saw the neighborhood kids play until dark. I only sat there, alone, with a paper and pen.

Giving homage to the lord certainly did something, but it was nothing close to happiness. The thought of writing to the lord seemed only obsessive. It was not my obsession; it was my father's. I was living in his life, and it was a life spent in depression and thoughts of the past.

My father soon became the town's only reverend since almost everyone attended his church. My father became busy as a so-called "Man of God". The drought continued now more prevalent than ever before. More and more people flooded into the church hoping for an answer. Soon, I became one of these right winged believers. I started to hope for God to save me. My life became something else. I became someone else. I became a father's boy, a blink of my father's vice. I was the final product of a manipulative world where I had become no better than my father. My father began to feel that his duty to me was well maintained as long as I believed him.

As time continued on, the world had changed. I had also grown older, yet not a single bit wiser. I had become a young adult, yet still felt like a trapped child within my aging body. Every Sunday I would find myself in the hands of God. My father would read his sermon with a swift, powerful voice that echoed to the heavens. I knew God loved my father and I was sure of it. I began to realize that my father tried only his hardest as he could to one day see my mother in heaven. My father had prearranged his entire life to tailor fit his every desire for heaven. I on the other had nothing to be proud of, but a stack of papers and a pen. I felt alone like a lost child. I was a fish in unknown waters. I looked around as everyone seemed to have an answer to their lives and I was more clueless than all of them put together. I had written to the lord day in and day out and still had questions. I never knew the value of great joy. I never knew the smell of acceptance. I only had a recollection of my father's face pasted upon mine.

As church came to its end, everyone seemed to gather in the front lobby always looking so happy. I searched like an orphan for my father. I would always find my father with the same people every week with their same problems. There was Howard Buckles, the writer. He had tried his entire life to write a piece of literary art. Yet, all he had were memoirs of failed novels and plays. Behind Mr. Buckles, I would be old Ms. Fetterman. She was a single old lady longing for a lover. She had her eyes set on a distant lover in the park that she would always boast about. According to her, it was some fine gentleman that would sit in the park and play chess. She had tried numerous times to gain his hand, but had failed to ever receive it. Finally, next to her was Crock Henry. He had a wife, a daughter and a wonderful job. However, Crock had an almost obsessive dream about becoming a senator once in his lifetime. Crock had run for the senate before, but always lost. The man was a wonderful family man, but never could write a speech that would appeal to the working class. It was his only flaw.

After everyone had their share of my father, I began to approach him. I asked him nicely, "Father, can we go home now?"

"I suppose we could. Though, tomorrow, we have some big plans," my father expressed to me with great enthusiasm.

I bewilderedly glared at him and asked, "Why? You didn't happen to buy me more paper?"

My father laughed and with a great smile and answered, "No, both you and I have a dinner date with the Henry's. Mr. Henry wants me to come for dinner and approve of his plan to win the election. I guess you can say that he wants to be in the hands of god."

"Wait," I asked and then paused to think again and once more stated, "If you're going to be with Mr. Henry, then why do you want me to come?"

My father replied, "Well son, they have a daughter named Eliza. I want you to meet her. She's a wonderful girl. I know that you two will have an enjoyable time together." Now, at first I was sickened by my father's idea. I began to ask myself; was this some sick joke or was my father really wanting me to become this girl's friend or even more? It was all so awkward. I had never spoken to a girl nor had I planned to start anytime soon. It seemed so different, and it all seemed to be happening so quickly. I had no thoughts that could possibly explain my feelings. I could only breathe slowly with every breath, exhaling in sharper, wilder tones.

A day passed and that evening finally came. I was a prisoner of the circumstances. I silent as I did not engage myself in conversation with anyone. I hid my face in regret of even allowing my father to take me with him. As I stepped into Mr. Henry's house, I slightly lifted my head to glance at my surroundings. I found Mr. Henry's house to be no different than mine. The house had its flaws and perks, as it was neither too fancy nor cheap. Crock Henry then said, "Reverend Adams, I am pleased for you to meet my daughter, Eliza." Eliza walked into the room like an angry beast. She had dyed hair in the color of black. Her eyes were covered in shadows of black and her lips were the color purple. She was close to my height, but seemed so different then I.

"Well I don't believe in your crazy cult, but sup dude?" she said with a voice of attitude.

Mr. Henry laughed and explained, "My daughter has a fine sense of humor. Well, shall we adults go into the dining room as you two have some time alone?"

Eliza sighed and stated, "Whatever suits ya my idealistic dad and my preppy Stepford mom."

"Will you be alright son?" asked my father.

I answered with a blank face, "Sure dad."

For a bit, I just sat and glared at Eliza as she read and listened to some loud and awful music. Then Eliza looked at me and snobbishly asked, "What you looking at?"

I answered politely, "Just you, I never knew a girl as powerful as you, Eliza." She suddenly took off her headphones and stared at me blatantly for a while.

She then stated, "My name's Liz. I don't go by the damn birth name my preppy parents gave me. I ain't their perfect little angel. I'm my own person."

"I have a question Liz; why do you never listen to your parents? How come you never come to church? I mean, why are you so happy like this?" I asked her with so much curiosity in my mind.

She began to chuckle like a child and answered; "Bro, have you never lived? Look, I ain't like my parents, because I want to live my life as I want to. I don't want to be told how to live my life by an idealistic god. Sorry if that offends you, but my life is one for me. I don't follow cults. I make my own rules, get it?"

I softly replied, "I guess."

She grew a smirk on her face as she came down to my level. She then calmly began to wonder, "Ben, have you ever been free? Have you ever felt another human being in a way that suddenly makes you realize that you're not so different? Have you ever felt angry or even like a real man?" I shook my head in a gesture of no. She then looked around and explained, "Maybe I have been sent to teach you." She thought to herself for a brief moment and then once more looked over at me. She smiled and answered, "Well bro, here's your first lesson. I want you to shut up and pretend like you like this." She suddenly kissed me. I felt a sudden passion rush through my soul. I felt myself becoming a new man. I began to have all of these sudden emotions rush through me. Yet, I did not try to force her away. I kissed her over and over again and began to like it. I began to love her; I was now caught under Liz's love storm. I have become a man. I had become free!

Hours stormed by like the clouds in the sky. Those hours steadily turned into merciful days. It was not something I could help. Liz and her beautiful face was all that my mind could see. I felt a sudden rush of love and a sense of freedom rectify my soul. I suddenly wondered why my father was so against me seeing the world. My mind was bewildered with so much. I could not compose myself in a decent fashion. I had wild ambitions. I had become free.

The next Sunday, church seemed to have its usual taste. Only one thing, this time, seemed different. There, with Mr. and Mrs. Henry, was their daughter, Liz. I could not speak before she suddenly took me away. As I was dragged to a vacant corner, Liz kissed me so dearly and said, "Your second assignment; skip church."

"What!" I yelled and then composed myself to explain, "Are you crazy, my father will definitely notice my absence."

Liz sighed and asked, "I thought you wanted to live on the edge? I thought you were the type to never say no to opportunities? And plus, everyone has at least sinned once in their life. How about we make this sin your first, deal?"

I sighed and thought for a very long moment. Then, with a sly look I answered, "Deal." As church proceeded on, Liz and I found the wonders of the other world. It seemed life was more alive that Sunday then ever before. Of course, I was still unsure of who I actually was. I was a man, lost between my father and me. The life that I began to desire suddenly revealed itself. I was living two lives. I did not know how to blend them into one. I felt as though I was a paper written with my soul on it and then ripped in two to give away to other people. Though, somehow, I felt freedom. I felt a certain feeling that I had wanted to feel for a long time. I had now gained the rights to that feeling and I wasn't going to give it up anytime soon.

That evening at dinner, my father did not even seem to comment about my absence at church. He was very quiet. It was quite an awkward feeling. My father had dealt with this drought for some time now. People had gone from fearful to panicking. My father had firsthand experience with this entire drought crisis and I didn't blame him for being so quiet. He and I just sat and ate our dinner in silence. Our forks and knives clanged off the sides of our plates. Those utensils were the only sounds that echoed throughout the entire dinner. I quietly placed my plate in the sink as my father sat alone at the table staring off into the distance.

I did not find myself to be similar to my father anymore. I deserved freedom, even some if any. My father never seemed to trust me. That part bothered me the most. Anymore, my life started to fall into place. My father was becoming less human as I was becoming more like one. Yet, every time I felt a great passion, I never knew how to express it. It became apparent that I had grown to accompany my life with more freedom then even I was allowed to have.

I have lately snuck out to see Liz or vice-versa. I even remember reading a book that she gave to me to read a week ago. I read it more now than ever before and began to understand my world, because of that book. This book seemed to be extra special to me. It explained the American Revolution and how colonists wanted more freedom from the British. My life seemed so similar to that book. I was stunned to find that when the colonists wanted freedom, they fought for it. I knew that was my destiny too; to fight for my freedom.

As I sat alone in my room that night, I began to ponder. I started to wonder about everything around me. Suddenly, my eyes were captured by a single piece of paper and a sole pen. I walked over to pick up the pen with my sweaty warm hands. I glanced at the pen and began to write. I wrote about my feelings, my thoughts and ideas. Everything seemed so wonderful and my writings were all about Liz. I then began to write more. The second thing I recall writing was a speech; a speech of freedom and integrity. It was everything I thought about; everything I wanted in this world.

I then wrote a poem for Liz. I wrote it and meant it with every word I wrote down. It was wonderful. The poem was everything I knew and felt. It was quite touching to feel as I did. I was becoming my own person. I then finally wrote for days and days until I was finished. I had at last written a story about a main character that fought for everything he wanted in life. It was a touching story, but it was like every other. Still, my story had something more. My story seemed to be just perfect in a certain way. I had found out what I loved. I loved to write and yet I knew that I could never show my work to anyone without my father catching me. My father wanted me to write in the word of God. Though, now I was writing for the reason of freedom. I did not know how to show the world my ideas. Then suddenly it came to me. It was perfect, and I suddenly realized how I would show the world.

The next Sunday after church, the same three people stood to wait for my father. While they were all waiting, I approached each one of them, one at a time. I first came to Mr. Buckles. I came up to him and saw him displaying a sad unshaved face. He glanced at me and said, "Ben, nice to see you. Sorry, I really can't talk; your father needs to hear of my new story before I lose the idea forever."

"Well Mr. Buckles, I have a story right here that I wrote the other day. It's of no use to me and I know how much you love to write. So, I wanted you to have it. I want you to make the best out of the story," I stated to Mr. Buckles.

Mr. Buckles smiled and replied, "Well, that's nice of you. I don't know how much it will help, but I appreciate it."

I left Mr. Buckles' presence and came to Ms. Fetterman next. She waited alone, patiently, yet eagerly to have God's presence aid her suffering love life. I tapped her on the shoulder lightly as she turned to glance upon me. I smiled and said, "Ms. Fetterman, you're looking lovely today."

Ms. Fetterman blushed from being flattered and answered, "Well thank you darling. Is something the matter?"

"No nothing," I stated and paused for a brief moment and then explained, "I know this will make little if not any sense, but here, have this." I slowly removed a paper with a poem on it and presented it to her. I then added, "Make sure you read this poem to your lover in the park. I know he will love it."

Ms. Fetterman chuckled and with a smile as radiant as the sun and replied, "Oh dear, I have not spoken to him ever before. I am quite scared to tell him anything."

"I know it will be hard, but I promise you it will mean a lot to him. He may even love it enough to love you," I told her trying to persuade her to take the poem. Ms. Fetterman, seeing my smile, could not pass up my offer.

She then agreed, "Well dear, I will if you insist. You seem so sure that he will take my hand. I will try and see how it goes." She smiled as I slowly walked away.

Finally, I approached Crock Henry. He kindly saw my presence and stated, "Well, if it ain't little Ben. You know, I have been meaning to tell you that our daughter, Eliza can't stop talking about you. You really have brought our daughter happiness and given her a true friend. I have, for so long, worried that no one would ever care for Eliza. Well, I'm here to tell you that I appreciate your companionship with her."

"Well thank you Mr. Henry," I replied with a short pause as I presented him with a piece of paper and explained, "Mr. Henry, I have something I want you to have. It's a speech I wrote for someone like you to read to the public. I know your elections are coming up and I want you to have this. I want you to read this to your voters and I promise you that you will win the election." Crock Henry slowly unrolled it and began to scan down the page.

After he finished reading, he again rolled the paper up and with a smile replied, "I will surely read this speech to my voters as a debt to pay you for being so good to our daughter,"

Night fell. It was quiet. The silence of the night seemed awkwardly apparent. I felt an unchanged self-wondering. I looked around and saw the room that I had seen every day of my life. I sat at my desk as I usually did. This time, though, it was different. I sat at my desk and still my papers were stacked, untouched as white as clouds. My pen was laid on my desk without my hand to comfort it. Tonight, I did not write. I thought; I dreamt. I could not stop thinking about Liz. She was the only one I loved. I still could not comprehend why exactly. I felt the food in my stomach rise up, as my head became light. I suddenly found myself praying for help. I prayed to God, but did I even believe in God? I asked God if he loved me, why he had made me suffer so much. I began at that moment to curse God. I had no God anymore. He had betrayed me.

I knew I had been neglected my entire life. I could feel a sudden desire for a new life, but I could not explain to myself why. So many thoughts rushed through my mind. I could not even comprehend half of them. I did not know my own self. I became scared and unsure. I wanted Liz, that's all. I wanted her to hold me, and suddenly, she came.

She crawled through my window and said, "Sup, bro?"

I began to panic as I stated, "Liz, what are you doing here? If my father catches you, do you know what he'll do to me?"

"Geez, alls I want to do is stop by and say sup, but instead I'm getting bitched at by you of all people," she replied.

I sighed and answered, "Listen, I'm sorry, everything is so chaotic. I feel so insecure. It's just that I've never felt this way before and suddenly I feel so different. I don't know exactly what to say."

She signaled for me to come to her as she whispered, "Come darling." I came as she held me close with her black gloves with finger holes and pressed me against her worn leather jacket. She held me close and explained, "Ben, I know how you feel. It's a bitch, but you're becoming independent. Your father can't be your prison guard forever. Human lives have always desired freedom and life will always win. Ben, I will always be there, just know."

Time passed as life went on as usual. Sunday rolled around again as it usually did with church in the misty morning. It was early summer and the mist always covered the ground every morning. The sun shined more often these days. It was pleasing to see all the essence of nature come to life once more. As I entered church, I came in to see a massive crowd huddled around in the lobby. I weaved through the crowd to find the most unexpected picture. I saw Mr. Buckles holding a copy of a published book and in the most spectacular suit I've ever seen. Next to him was Mrs. Fisher, who used to once be Ms. Fetterman. I was astonished to find her married and happy with that man in the park. I could not believe what I saw. They were so happy. I made them happy, but how?

My father came past the crowd as Mr. Buckles approached him. He stated, "Reverend Adams, thank God you are here."

"I have no time as of now. My sermon begins soon," My father replied.

"No Reverend," Mr. Buckles stated, "Your boy is a miracle worker, and he has blessed my life!"

Suddenly, my father stopped, slowly turned and said one word very loudly, "What!"

"No joke Reverend, your son wrote me a story. I published it and look, I'm a millionaire!" explained Mr. Buckles.

Mrs. Fisher added, "He wrote a poem for me and now I am happier than ever before with my dear husband."

"Did he now?" my father asked in an angered tone. He then stormed off saying nothing more.

I felt scared, unsure of my life. I had felt, for that very second, a moment of fame and then suddenly, a moment of utter terror. My father knew I had betrayed him. My lust of freedom was gone. My manifest for the great hope of individuality had been swept away with a single second of utter praise. I felt alone. I felt some kind of uncertain destiny awaiting my weary mind. What could I do? I had not a single friend by my side. My father was no longer part of my nature. He was an exterior adversary I had longed to defeat. I knew nothing but an uncertain future. I felt alone and lost as the world now was coming into focus. I sat alone today as I watched my father conduct his sermon. This time I worried; this time I began to collapse inside. My soul was dying. My eyes were slowly drowning in rain. My father spoke with inexpressible anger as he tried to hide it in his sermon.

I had always hid from my father, but now, I just wished I were invisible. I wanted to be invisible to the mind, soul, body and heart. I had no more use in my mind on this world. I had done enough and I could not go on living. I started to feel deep pity for my existence erupt in my mind. This was my end. I had become a man with no purpose. I was only created to suffer. It was a regretful life; a life that had been hung out to dry and was never retrieved. I could not complain any longer. I had lost every other will to move through time. I had become weary and was destined to find nothing but a lost hope in my father's love.

Church ended; silence lingered throughout the entire hall. I would find no salvation from my father, just regret. Suddenly, the doors were thrust open as the wind shook my two feet stationed amongst the ground. I fell to the ground as my father approached with so much hateful lust that even Satan finds himself cowering. "You have lied to me for all these years! I give you a life and everything for you to be the best you can, and this is what I get in return, lies!" exclaimed my father with mortal frustration tapping into his spine.

I stated firmly in my rebuttal, "You have ruined my life ever since I was swept into your hands! I wanted to have a life worthy of living and I have received this one instead. I have been cheated out of my freedom and lied to about the true world. I have learned what this world truly is like by defying your measures. I am not you. I see why mother left you, because she was tired of suffering like me."

My father's eyes rose as he yelled in forceful insanity, "I loved your mother. Though, the only thing she ever prized was you. That's why I tried to protect you from a world that would harm you. God tried to protect you, because he loves you. God commands you to respect my protection. Yet, what I get in return are your lies and hatred of me after all I have tried to protect you from."

"I have no god, father! He has only one ideal and that is to make my life miserable. You listened to that liar who promised to give me a life of greatness and left me with so much misery. You're the one who has made me lose my faith in this world. You're the one who has prevented me from having a good life. I lost my will to live the moment I was forbidden to be me. I was supposed to be an outline of you and nothing more. That's the man you tried to make me, a faceless person with no purpose!" I exclaimed.

My father's eyes became heavy as he began to bite his lip. He was in a state of utter silence and nothing more. I saw his heart crumble into nothing. I saw his mind slowly fade away like a fire in the night. I felt his love for me lost; his only desire to live, gone with the anger of my words. He began to turn as he walked away from my presence slowly and silently. He began to slowly make his way to the door as his heart was crushed into nothing. I began to feel that this was the first time he had ever really showed his love. As he opened the door, he softly whispered, "Even if you don't understand, God still loves you. I still love you." He left my presence as the door shut behind him. I was then once more, alone.

Silence was the whispers that echoed throughout the grand room. I was then taken toward a certain man. I became intrigued by Jesus. I saw his pain. I felt his life become one with mine. I began to feel a certain feeling of acceptance deep down. Though, I was more lost than even a young child in a crowd. I approached Jesus as I was struck down by his gracious force. I fell to my knees as I bowed down before him. I came only wanting his loving help. I had nothing left upon this very earth. I had lost my will to live and only wanted some guidance in my life. As I kneeled before Jesus, I heard a single noise exemplify itself multiple times. I glanced to find water droplets crying down from the heaven upon the church. I began to hear thunder and found the entire world consumed by a storm. I deep down, felt a storm rise within. This storm rushed through my body, and lifted my weary mind to the heavens above. I began to beg, "Oh lord, save me now! I have lost every will to live. I see your son dying before my eyes and yet I don't understand what it is you want from me." I then paused. I thought for a brief moment and finally added, "Or is it lord that I am to have the same fate as your son. Is it that you want me to suffer his fate and have the same death your son had to cleanse my father's pain." I went quiet for a moment hoping for an answer but never received one. I then stated, "Then lord, I will do as you wish."

"You seriously think that's a good idea?" asked a voice from a far.

I turned to find Liz walking toward me. I replied, "It is my fate, and I am to die like Jesus before me."

Liz sighed and explained, "Ben, this is not the man I met. Look at yourself. You have promised to kill yourself and for what? The Ben I know doesn't think this way. He has come on this earth to do good. You have shown a lot of people what life really means, including me."

"My father has done this to me and he must pay!" I exclaimed.

Liz answered, "Even if he has, does he deserve to lose the only thing that he has left on this earth? Your father loves you. If he lost you, he would have lost the only thing he still cares about. That's why he has tried to protect you. Even if he was wrong, could you say you have never made a mistake?"

I then asked, "Why are you defending my father. You're the one who told me to go against him."

Liz with her wonderful eyes glanced at me and said, "Ben, you're an amazing man and you have a chance to do very wonderful things. I never thought this world was so wonderful until you showed me that there was so much good in this world. If you were to kill yourself now, you would be cheating yourself of having a life that no one could match. You have made me so happy. Imagine how many other people could benefit from you. I know you're the greatest guy ever and killing yourself will not show this world how many good things you can do."

"Well then, what should I do?" I inquired.

Liz sighed as she thought to herself for a moment. She finally brought her eyes upon me again as she answered, "I know what kind of man you are. I have seen you and began to grow with you. You have become a strong man with a passion to make this world better. Though, your father is still speculative over who his son has become. If you were to die, your father would not see who his son truly was. If you went to your father and stared him in the eye and showed him who his son has become, I know he would not be mad. I know your father would rejoice to know his son still loves him. I know your father loves you. I want you to show him that you really care for him too."

I took a deep breath hoping to defend my point but quickly came to my senses. I sighed softly as I came close to Liz. I wrapped my arms around her as she did the same to me. I held her close as I softly whispered, "Thank you."

"Now show your father you love him," she requested from me. I slowly moved away as I nodded turning my cheek away from her presence. I began to run. I ran faster at that moment in time than I ever recall running.

I rushed through the corridors, scanning every room in a second's notice and then darting passed. I had every memory I could remember at that moment reflect on my soul. I felt every horror; every pain and even some happiness come before my mind. I revisited every moment I could possibly remember throughout my pathetic life until finally I arrived upon my father's office.

I stopped at the doorway near his office as I placed my hand against the wall. I began to breathe heavily as I huffed and puffed multiple times. When I finally caught my breath, I slowly entered his room. As I entered, I found the office empty. The window was open, and the rain softly began to part as a light breeze blew in. I approached my father's desk to find his bible and robe laying on the desk. I looked out and I can't to this day comprehend what I saw. Three black ravens with skulls in their feet flew past as I saw my father's ascent into the stairway above. He walked side by side up every step with my mother. I never thought I could be happy anymore. I cried with every step he took. I cried as I felt pain rush upon every muscle that had bound my body together. I felt the world suddenly get dark as I agonized in so much pain.

I slowly raised my head as a picture fell to the ground. I curiously tilted my head as my fingers were slowly attracted to the side of the picture. I gently grasped the picture within my hands as I brought the picture before my eyes. It was a picture I had seen once before. It was a picture of lost memories. On the back, I still found the words inscribed upon the picture, "Julie and I". I then looked farther down upon the picture as I came to find another inscription that had not been there before from my recollection. I found the words newly written in by my father to be, "Live with passion and seek freedom". I began to cry, as I grew ever so weary. I felt my life collapse within, as time began to move slower than I could ever recall it to before.

As daylight struck my eyes, I slowly rose. I grasped my father's bible in one hand and his robe in the other. I left the room, quietly opening the door. As the door creaked to a halt, the room was quieter than I ever recall it being. Ever since that day, the room has been left quiet and not a single noise has ever disrupted the honorable silence. It still remains that way today, and will stay that way until time parts.

Time after that day has passed by so very quickly. I have aged quickly as my days have become numbered. Though, that day remains in my heart forever. I have moved from my father's shadow into his life. I walk among my father's footsteps within the church's corridors as I have yet to step into his office ever since that day. I have become like my father, a man of God.

I recall, yesterday, turning on the radio and hearing something that really made me smile for the first time in ages. The radio announcer began, "Yesterday, Senator Henry has told us he has planned to run as a candidate for the Presidency. He tells our correspondents that he has only one man to thank for all his success." As I turned the volume silent, I began to think of my father and his office I had not been in for a while. I walked down the corridors as I finally came to my father's office. I then glanced at my father's office as I began to cry. I slowly placed my sweaty hand over the doorknob as I gently began to turn it. As the door creaked open, I saw my destiny.

We have come so far and so deep to find our destinies. We look to the west and see hope. Then, we turn and glance at the east and we know our destinies. We are two alike and two apart. Our destinies combined to make us one as we now set our new course. We are like a sailboat drifting farther away from land and into uncharted waters only predicting what we cannot understand. Together we are so different. Alone, we are so much more alike. Now, and for time as it progresses on, we shall be in each other's hearts, always and forever.