Okay, this is my very first fan fic. So go easy on me! Now for the disclaimer!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto, Every time we touch by Cascada , Winnie the Pooh, Girlfriend by Avril Levigne, or Jeepers Creepers. If I did I wouldn't be writing this!

Summary: A collection of Naruto one shots. Some you'll love and some you'll hate. Shika x Tema fans beware!

Are you ready for the title? Behold the Naruto-ness!

Dei x Tobi

Naru-mainia

Bad Dream

It was a stormy night at the Akatsuki hide out, and Kisame, Zetsu, Deidara, Itachi, and Tobi, were watching a horror movie. Well the first four were but Tobi was cowering in a corner.

' I don't want to get eaten by that scary Jeepers Creepers guy.' thought Tobi. He finally decided that he needed to keep his mind off of the horrific movie. He quickly ran to his room and grabbed his discman and his coloring book. He slowly walked down the stairs and sat on the floor. Music began to play out of the ear phones. It was his favorite song; Every time we touch by Cascada. Tobi opened the coloring book to a picture of Pooh and Piglett holding hands.

Deidara looked over at Tobi to make sure he wasn't too scared. He saw Tobi coloring in his book listening to the CD he burned for him. He watched Tobi color in delight. Or at least he thought it was delight. It was hard to tell since he constantly wore that orange mask.

' I wonder what his face looks like? Hmm.' He thought trying to imagine anything but that mask. Tobi looked over at him. He quickly turned away with a light blush on his face.

Tobi saw that Deidara was looking at him.

' Deidara-sempai has such long, pretty, blonde, hair. And his eyes are such a pretty, sparkling, blue color. I wonder if he'll let me play with his hair some time?' thought Tobi. ' OH! I LOVE this song!! Hey, hey! You, you! I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one!'

LATER

BOOM! Thunder crackled through the night air.

Tobi was huddled under his blanket, scared out of his wits.

FLASH!!!!! BOOM!!! CRACKLE!!!

He clutched his Ken doll in fright.

" It's okay Ken we're not going to get eaten by that spookety spook." whispered Tobi in fright. " Tobi knows! We'll go have a midnight snack!"

He ran down stairs and into the kitchen. There he saw a shadow of somebody on the wall. It looked like the character had wings. Like the Jeepers Creepers dude! There was a body shaped thing at his feet. He reached down into it and pulled out a long meaty thing and began to devour it .

Tobi watched in fear as he let out a maniacal laugh.

" AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Tobi screamed and ran out of the room.

" Tobi is that you?" asked Zetsu

( A/N: Yes it was Zetsu! Hey! I thought I put you on a low meat diet! " What!? I don't know what you're talking about!" he said as he frantically tried to hide the body bag and the raw sausage links.)

" DEIDARA-SEMPAI!!!" Tobi screamed as he ran into his friends room, and shook him vigorously.

" What I'm Up! I'm Up! Hmm." Deidara said sleepily. He looked at the stranger in his room. " Tobi is that you? Hmm."

He felt his face. His mask! He must have lost it when he saw Jeepers Creepers.

Deidara turned on his table lamp. He looked at Tobi in awe. He had black hair, dark eyes, and he wore an eye patch.

' KYAAAAA!! He is so cute! Hmm.' thought Deidara ' Wait, he is your teammate you doofus! Hmm.'

" Deidara, there was a Jeepers Creepers guy in the kitchen." whispered Tobi.

" Tobi, how many times do I have to tell you, there is no such thing as Jeepers Creepers. Hmm." said Deidara as he walked him back to his own room. He crawled into his bed, and drifted off to sleep.

30 MINUTES LATER

" Deidara-Sempai? " whispered a frightened Tobi.

" Hmm? Tobi? Is it you again? Hmm." asked a half awake Deidara.

" Yeah, um, I had a bad dream and I, uh, wet the bed." he said shamefully.

Deidara sighed " Did you change? Hmm."

" Yeah the thing about that," said Tobi who was now blushing different shades of pink.

" All of your clothes are in the laundry, hmm." Deidara finished for him. He got up and went into his closet. Tobi was still blushing. One, because he was embarrassed and two, the only thing Deidara was wearing were boxers and a white tank top.

" EEEWWW! HMM! ZETSU, GO FIND ANOTHER PLACE FOR YOUR SECRET STASH!!! HMM!" Exclaimed Deidara. He picked up a mysterious box and threw it out into the flooded streets.

Soon enough Zetsu came running through the room and jumped out of the window.

" NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MY MEAT!!!" he screamed. He held the soggy box and tried to get back inside, but it was to late because, Deidara shut the window.

" Here, hmm." said Deidara as he tossed Tobi a clean pair of boxers. " You can sleep here." he motioned to the reclining chair.

" I can't, I'm allergic to them."

" To reclining chairs?" asked an astonished Deidara. " Fine, I'll sleep in it then."

Tobi climbed into his bed and said, " Nighty-Night!"

About two minutes later Tobi got scared again.

" Deidara, are you still awake?"

" Yes, Tobi. Hmm." said an exasperated Deidara.

" Can you sleep in the bed with me?"

" Tobi, this feels awkward enough. Hmm."

" Pretty Please!" whined Tobi.

" NO! Hmm."

" Fine, I'll just go over there, but you'll be sorry when I start to blister." he warned

" Fine I'll go over there then. Hmm." said Deidara hastily.

( A/N: Tobi knows how to get what he wants. " Hee! Hee! Yes Tobi does!")

Deidara slowly walked over to Tobi, debating with himself.

' This is awkward, okay so you like him, but what if he doesn't like you that way. God I'm so gay. Hmm.' He thought. He must've took too long because Tobi came and picked him up bridal style and plopped him down on the bed. This made him blush a deep scarlet. One because he was embarrassed, two, anyone who gets carried bridal style by an uber cutie will begin to blush.

Tobi hopped in next to him.

" Tee Hee!" giggled Tobi " You're warm, and cuddly." Deidara blushed so red it would've put Sasuke's tomatoes to shame.

" I love you, hmm!" blurted Deidara

" Tee Hee! Tobi loves you too!" He said giddily and licked Deidara's cheek. "You taste good!"

And they lived happily ever after, well for the most part!

And that's how the cookie crumbles! So don't hurt me! Now push the button. It wants you to so… push it!

I love you all! ( I'm such a suck up! .)

 S-Chan