A/N: So this is the third multi-chapter I've started since the end of Listless. I haven't given up on any of my others it just that my mind is mean to me and I have to write whatever comes to my mind. I'll try to keep up with all the stories as best I can, but don't be surprised if there are a few weeks in between updates.

Disclaimer: Well gee, I'd just love to say that I own this wonderful game and all of it's characters, but last time I did that people in black suits stole me and beat me with a whiffle bat (shudders). I'd rather not do that again.

His dreams had always been confusing, like there was always too much to dream about and never enough time to dream it all.

They were never about his life…at least, not the one he was living now. Being a firm believer in reincarnation, when his dreams developed a repeating pattern about himself in several different scenarios set in the same dream world, he could help but believe that he was remembering a past life. Always in the same dream world, he searched; always searching for his friends, for his life, for his salvation… light, some small insignificant voice whimpered to him sometimes.

He was looking for light, and it always seemed just so perfectly close that he at times he could simply reach out and grab it. However, the light was always just the millimeter too far away. It was always just close enough that he could feel the beginnings of warmth over his fingertips but always, just far enough away that he could take no comfort it. He couldn't touch it; couldn't keep it; couldn't find his friends.

Brief snippets flashed behind his eyelids each more lost than the one before. Cold all around him; darkness seeping in; merciless laughter no matter where he went, always in his head—nobody to go with it, only the sound of laughter. He dreamed about fighting to get out. He wanted away from the cold, out of the darkness, away from the laughter. He wanted the light and all things that came with it, but in his dreams it was all so far away.

…Always just too far away.

He took a deep breath, and suddenly—thankfully—Riku was no longer asleep. His dreams fled from him, leaving only remnants of cold and a fear that when he opened his eyes the darkness would still be swallowing him. Taking deep breaths, he forced his eyes open, panicking momentarily when he saw nothing before his gaze, so striking in its resemblance to his dreams. Slowly though it cleared and though it was still dark, it was obviously only the dark of night and he found himself staring at the shadowed side of his nightstand.

He took a deep, calming breath, moving to roll onto his side but stopping when he felt how disgustingly slick with sweat he was. Sighing, he kicked off his blankets as he sat up on his mattress, moving to take 

off his t-shirt that stuck to his torso. He threw the offending fabric away from him before throwing himself back down onto the cool sheets with a relieved sigh.

Riku stared up at his ceiling, painted bright yellow—babies cry more in yellow room than in any other color, his mind informed him randomly—and tried to calm himself enough to return to sleep. His heart was beating normally, and his breathing was fine, but his skin seemed to tremor beneath him at the very thought of returning to that land…that time.

It was so dark there, so cold. The very idea of returning sent a shiver down his spine even though the heat in his room was stifling. He rolled over to face his wall, staring at the shade of blue that coated that wall. He had a different shade of blue on the parallel wall, and his other two walls were different shades of green. It was a very colorful room—it's almost like stepping into Rainbow Bright's room, his mind deadpanned. He liked it that way though, because after his eyes adjusted to the dark, the colors would practically glow in the dark, thus he would realize he wasn't still in his dreams when he woke at the odd hours of the morning.

He switched to his other side, groaning as the heat from his skin soaked into sheets, making his bed so uncomfortable he almost couldn't stand it. In fact, he couldn't stand it, so he sat up in bed, rubbing his face to get the feeling of moisture off of him. He rubbed his hands on his pajama bottoms, feeling disgusting as if he were bathing in his own sweat. He carefully extracted himself from his bed, finding his shirt off the ground and yanking it back over his head.

He moved over to his door, peaking his head out into the hallway, his heart beating rapidly as cold darkness flooded his eyesight. Taking calming breaths he waited for it to recede—it always does, his mind told itself more than him. When finally he could see the vague outline of the furniture that decorated the hall, he rolled his eyes at his irrational fear of the darkness. He almost felt like a five-year-old, afraid to go to sleep because there was something under his bed, but he was seventeen, just barely, but still…

It wasn't even that he was afraid of the monster under the bed. The darkness, complete darkness—blind darkness, his mind supplied helpfully—scared him senseless, had for the better part of his life. He had always been plagued by these dreams—more like nightmares, his mind snarled irritably as he headed towards the backdoor. Even as a child, since he was eight at the very least, he would sleep to find the cold darkness and the evil cackling in his mind as he, in his dream, fought battle after battle against creatures that danced to disturbing music in their head, the yellow eyes glowing angrily at him as if he were the cause of them and whatever unhappiness they had known.

Riku moved his silver bangs out of his eyes as he slid, as quietly as he could, out the backdoor. He breathed as the night air hit him, still unbearably hot, but there was a slight breeze which made it so much better than being inside.

Riku took a deep breath, moving to sit in a lawn chair. Arranging himself as comfortably as he could on the flimsy chair, he tilted his head back, staring up at the stars that brought him so much comfort on these endless, sleepless nights.



He thought about nothing, doing his best to blot out the images of his dreams that haunted him. He did that a lot, throwing himself into anything he did just to escape the overwhelming feeling that he was close to following his previous life, or perhaps that his previous life was close to swallowing him. He was halfway positive that was the only reason he had the grades he had maintained all throughout his school career. He didn't feel exceptionally smart, but he needed to escape the feeling that the darkness was closing in on him; that he would wake up and the cold would not abate him, the laughter would not stay in his dreams.

The tension in him refused to leave. His muscles were coiling so tightly he felt the slightest touch would break him, sending him spiraling to a place he'd rather not think of. It nearly startled him out of his skin when he heard the door open behind him. He controlled himself from jumping, looking around the flimsy sides of his lawn chair, to see his uncle standing in the doorway.

Riku could tell he had been asleep, if only by the way his eyes were squinted against the light of the moon and stars and the streetlights that illuminated everything. Other than that, the man looked like he had simply been in his room, waiting to follow Riku and coerce him to return to bed. His hair wasn't mussed. His skin didn't have any indentations from the pillows or mattress. Everything about him was still as perfect as it had been when Riku had retired for the night.

After his brief assessment of his uncle, Riku cast his eyes down to the ground, feeling just the slightest bit of guilt, as if it were his fault that the dreams wouldn't leave him alone.

His uncle, Sephiroth, his mind reminded him, didn't sigh, or get angry—he never really does, his mind chided softly, not at you—he simply spoke, "You have school in the morning, Riku. It is imperative that you at least try to return to sleep."

Riku looked up into the other man's eyes, still feeling as if a stranger were in front of him, though he had spent the last two months in the same house with the man. It still surprised him, how…understanding, for lack of a better word, this man could be. Part of him still expected to find his father staring at him with cold amber eyes, but every time he had looked up these past few months he found sea-green eyes regarding him coolly.

He nodded a short tilt of his head before he stood from the seat, a small task in and of itself as the thing tried to eat him, but he finally made it. Padding across the grass, he looked up at the stars on last time, trying to rob them of whatever comfort they might be able to give him. He sighed, knowing the moment he was inside, where the half-darkness awaited him, whatever comfort he had with the stars would vanish.

Riku swept by his uncle, pausing briefly to glance up into his eyes one last time, as if reassuring himself that it wasn't his father for the millionth time since he had been moved here. Sea-green eyes still stared down at him, regarding him with a clinical curiosity. Knowing that, Riku slid all the way passed him, not turning around to see his uncle shut the door.



"Good night, Riku," Sephiroth said in that strong voice that seemed to run through their family. Riku simple nodded and waved his hand over his head.

He returned to his room and sat on his bed, turning the television in his room on and putting it on mute. He knew he wouldn't sleep again tonight. He was too afraid of the darkness that was on the other side of his mind, crouching, waiting to pounce on him, drag him under. He wouldn't sleep until he was just too exhausted to stay awake, which wouldn't happen until tomorrow night, and even then, he may force himself to stay up just a little longer.

KH

Sora woke none too gently from the sweet depths of sleep by the feeling that he was plummeting. His big, blue eyes snapped open and his entire body tensed. He was still on his bed though, the morning light creeping through the window and shining rudely in his eyes. He grumbled and pulled his blanket over his head, his brown spikes disappearing into the cocoon of delicious warmth. He smiled gently to himself, still in the throws of sleep, when suddenly the feeling came again, followed by the feeling of being smothered.

He yanked his blanket down and glared, meeting the quite familiar face of his twin, who was staring down at him with one of his blonde eyebrows quirked. Sora studied him for a moment, taking in all of his twin before throwing his head back onto his pillow and groaning, "Roxas…what do you want?"

Roxas huffed, shaking Sora violently in his bed. "I want, as I've only been yelling at your comatose form for ten minutes now, for you to get up! School is starting today!" he grumbled, getting off of Sora's bed and yanking his blankets away viciously.

Sora protested immediately, shooting up in his bed to grasp after the bedspread that was being hauled into the middle of the floor and dropped carelessly. Roxas crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Sora and demanding him, "Come get 'em."

Sora pouted at his twin for only a moment before he threw himself back into his bed. "I can sleep without blankets," he said petulantly. He bit his lip to keep from grinning when he heard Roxas sigh.

Footsteps were heard as his brother's sneakers stomped on their wooden flooring. The door opened, the brunette heard, but there was a pause before the inevitable slamming. He opened his eyes lazily to see Roxas regarding him with a cruel twist of his lips, saying when he was aware that he had Sora's attention, "If you're not up in ten minutes, I'm sure Leon would be only too happy to come and awaken you."

Sora shot up and out of his bed, hurling himself towards the door while yelling, "Roxas! Don't you dare!" Their door slammed shut just before Sora reached it and he ended up smacking into it with his entire body. Just on the other side Sora heard his twin laughing at him, causing him to groan and lean his head again the cool wood.

He huffed, "Well, since I'm up and all…"



He went to his dresser and pulled out some clothing, not paying any attention to what he pulled out, knowing it would somehow match by the end of the day. Then he went to bathroom, which he usually used the last since he loved sleep so much, and turned on the water, readying to take a quick shower before breakfast.

He stepped out shortly after he had jumped in and shook his hair free from as much water as possible as he dried himself off and dressed. By the time he ambled into the small kitchen, his bad mood at having to be awake had vanished; always chipper after that first ten minutes of being awake. He smiled brightly at everyone in the kitchen, saying in his almost painfully chipper voice, "Morning, everyone!"

Leon and Roxas both grumbled in return; their morning grouchiness had a tendency to stay until they retired for bed. Aerith, however, smiled at him and handed him a bowl of oatmeal, returning his greeting with a kind, "Good morning, sunshine."

He took his bowl gladly from her and went to sit over at the table, swinging his legs excitedly at the prospect of being back in school and seeing all of his friends that he hadn't seen over the summer. He had been excited to return to school—even if he hadn't been excited about having to wake up early—ever since he had received his schedule, locker number and combination. He had always been happy at the idea of something new, even simple things like a new grade, a new locker, a new combination. It made him giddy.

He looked over at his twin, who had never seemed to be excited over anything, and asked jubilantly, "Are you happy to be going back to school, Roxy?"

Roxas glared at him, daring him silently to use that nickname on him again, not that Sora noticed. He was much too happy about seeing his friends again. Roxas however… "Oh, I'm just thrilled about having school, homework, and work. Oh, boy, I just can't even express it," he said blandly, kicking away from his place at the table to put his bowl in the sink.

Sora rolled his eyes as he finished his breakfast, following his blonde twin's movements in taking his own bowl to the sink. Once he set it down, he whirled around on his heel, looking for his twin only to catch on black and red sneaker as it exited the kitchen. He looked at Aerith, who had been watching after Roxas with a small frown.

"What his problem?" Sora asked.

She shrugged, shaking her head a little. "I don't know," she said quietly, looking down at her watch. "I've got to go, though. Will one of you do the dishes when you get home?" She looked up at him again, expectantly, smiling gently when he nodded at her. "Thank you," she looked over to the only person left at the table, "Leon, when will you be home?"

"Dunno," he mumbled. "Whenever I get off."

Aerith nodded slowly. "Okay. Well, call if you're going to be too late."



Leon nodded distractedly, calling out a quiet goodbye as Aerith left the room. Sora was left with his older brother, who at best was withdrawn, at worse was just downright anti-social. Sora couldn't imagine that he would appreciate any small talk that Sora could drum up, so he left the room, pausing momentarily to brush his hand across his older brother's shoulder.

"I'll see you later, Leon," he said quietly as he moved past him.

He was a little shocked to hear the man call after him, "Have a good day at school."

He almost backtracked to look back into the kitchen, perhaps to ask if he had been hearing things, but he decided against it. It wouldn't do to press his luck, so real or not, Sora let it go and continued on his way upstairs to the room he and Roxas shared.

A/N: I don't know what do say down here. The standard please review, while standing on my knees and begging comes to mind, but I do that every story, and I'm sure you all have the gist of it. Anywho…yeah that's it! I love all of my readers and reviewers.

InnocentGuilt