Love Me, Please
Summary: He would do anything for that sole purpose. He would even give up his own innocence, freedom and sanity. Absolutely anything. Anything for the thing called "Love". (Hisoka-centric but TsuHis at the end, angsty)
By: Klyukaizer
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Love. What's so special about it? What's the big deal about this one, single emotion? Could it be that there is something different about it than the others? Actually, it's an emotion added to everything around you… that's what makes it extraordinary. It's an emotion everyone longs for. An emotion everyone feels being held special for. An emotion a certain boy would do anything just to get.
"Monster! Get away from me!" A woman screamed at the top of her lungs as she pushed a young boy away, making the boy hit his head on a wall. The emerald-eyed boy raised his head to his mother and revealed that his head was bleeding now. "Mother…" The boy sobbed pathetically, shocked at the fact that his own mother was disgusted at him. "How dare you talk to me that way! Don't you dare come into my mind as if it's just a play thing!"
"Mother, I didn't mean to-"
"Stay way!" The woman slapped the boy across the boy, sending the boy to the floor.
"Nagare!" The boy's mother ran towards a man, who witnessed the whole scene, by the doorway. "Nagare, please… take him away from me. He's a demon. He called me a witch."
"Father, I didn't-" A loud slap was made yet again as the boy stayed on the floor, refusing to get up. "Don't call your mother that, you demon! You yourself should be compared to a witch. Devils like you should be locked up in cages and should be left there to rot." The powerful man said as he grabbed some parts of the boy's hair and dragged him out the room.
"No, Father! Father, please!" The boy sobbed, trying to break the grip of his father away from his hair. "Father! Father, please don't lock me up! Please!" The next thing he knew, he was being thrown to a cell and was being beaten into unconsciousness, screaming all the while for his father to stop. But before he fell into darkness, he reached out to his father who only looked back to him with eyes filled with disgust and hatred.
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3 weeks. It had almost been a month since the boy had ever seen the light of the sun. He could hear the birds singing; the light shining from the small opening above the cell he was on but everything was still dark.
So dark… and so cold.
He curled himself into a ball and hugged himself tightly with the torn kimono he had been wearing for a long time now. Tears started staining his eyes once again as he looked at his bloody hands and dirtied body. He curled his fists into balls and held it up to his cheeks, crying madly and uncontrollably. Feeling that all the hate and anger around the Kurosaki household was because of his existence.
A sudden ruffling of keys brought his attention as a careless maid entered his cell bringing a tray of food and clean clothes. "M-M-Master H-Hisoka… Th-th-the m-mistress… b-br-brought y-y-you these." The maid said terrifyingly, trying not to approach the "demon" child the whole house speaks of. The boy looked up to the stuttering lady and walked over to the middle-aged woman, only to make the woman cower and jump in surprise.
"I'm sorry if I scared you. I'm not going to hurt you." The boy said, trying to put up a smile and to sound as friendly as possible. But the woman's eyes widened "Stop reading my mind!" The woman screamed and quickly slipped out of the cell, cowering behind the bars as if the boy would lunge at her soon. The green-eyed lad's heart skipped a beat when he witnessed the maid's reaction and suddenly felt tears welling up his eyes. The boy instantly ran to the other side of the cell and cried his eyes out, not caring if the maid would hear him choking from countless sobs. The woman saw the sight and felt herself breaking, but she couldn't do anything.
"I'll be back for the tray and your old clothes, Master Hisoka." The middle-aged nanny said sadly as she quickly left the boy to cry and wallow in self-pity, making her tears fall from her eyes as well.
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The boy raised his head to the sound of the screeching bars as he looked up to the man he called, "Father". Papa… He wanted to say, but he knew his father would slap him if he said those words. "Father…" he whispered instead as the man approached him with dignity and grace. "I need you right now." His father didn't sound kind at all, the boy had a feeling that the father didn't need him… but needed his powers.
He was brought silently towards to his old room where his stuff and old toys were thrown out, he looked around the quiet room and can't help but bite back all the tears he had been holding for so long now. Only his clothes were left, although they weren't exactly his clothes… they were old clothes from when his father was still young. "I want you to change within 5 minutes, we're expecting somebody in a short while." The boy had fear etched all over his face as his father pushed him inside the empty room, leaving the sandy-blonde haired boy on the floor.
"Ah, Nagare-sama." A man not older than Nagare Kurosaki entered the solemn mansion and cast a smile as wide as anyone's towards Nagare's direction. "So glad you called, I was waiting for your call." The man smirked, "Have you thought about the deal?" The boy felt a wave of dizziness hitting him, making him back away from the man, even though he was already hiding in the corner as his father instructed him to do. "Yes, I have thought about it." Nagare nodded, taking a glance towards his son and saw that the boy was trembling madly.
Evilness. Greed. Revenge. Death.
All the emotions that went running towards the boy's mind kept on repeating over and over again as he clutched his forehead because of the pain. "Papa…" He muttered, falling to the floor and crouching in pain. "S-Stay… s-stay away… from him…" The boy stuttered, crawling towards his father's direction but Nagare couldn't see him from where he is. The next thing he knew, everything went black.
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The moment he had woken up, everything was already a mess. Nagare was glaring at him from the foot of the bed with a death glare. "F-father." The boy stuttered but received a slap right across the face instead. "Why didn't you warn me! A useless boy like you shouldn't be given that kind of demonic power if you don't know how to use it!"
"F-Father, I- I tried to tell you!"
"Shut up. You have no right to talk back!"
Everything felt like it wasn't real. Here, the boy never really expected his father to really beat him up this bad. But, the man really did. He had lost a fortune because of signing some contract that he wasn't really aware of. He knew there was something about his business partner, but he didn't really pay attention to it. Instead, he wanted his son to see if he could breach into his business partner's mind.
"It's not my fault! If you knew that he isn't to be trusted, then why did you have to bring me along!" The boy exclaimed, receiving a punch from his father. "Don't talk to me like that!" Everything went silent as the boy slid to the corner of the room as soon as his mother entered the scene, "I told you not to trust that demon." The woman spat, but only received a glare from her husband. The boy's mother walked past his son's weak body towards the couch and had accidentally droppedher small ribbon beside her son's body, not bothering to pick it up.
Everything was in silence for a while and the boy just lowered his head. "I'm sorry, Mother... Father... to have screamed at you like that."
"Punish me. Beat me up." The boy whispered with a small smile creeping upon his lips. "I am a demon and I am a nuisance in this world. If it'll bring you happiness to see me like this, then you can do as you please…" The boy looked up to his parents and smiled at them, not looking at the eyes staring down at him with anger and mockery. "Mother… Father… please." The boy closed his eyes, but nothing came. The moment he opened his tearful eyes, his father had lifted him up angrily.
"You think it is easy for us, you impudent bastard!" The man yelled, "To be cursed with a demonic son! How dare you talk to us like that!" The boy could see no hope at all in his father's eyes and tried to reach out to his parents, but he was only pushed away into the darkness again. "I'm sorry…" The boy whispered sadly and closed his eyes, letting all the tears fall.
"You. Are. Dismissed. Get out from my sight!" He was dropped into the floor and the moment the boy sat up, he proceeded limply towards the direction of his cell without being instructed to… not letting his parents see, that he had held the small ribbon his mother had dropped.
The clothes he was wearing, the ribbon he was holding, the warmth of his own body… were the only things he was looking forward to that night. He was holding the ribbon closely to his chest as if he would die if he would lose it and had tearstains coming from his eyes once more. He was close to feeling the love he wanted all along but ended up with nothing.
"Mama… Papa…" He sobbed; closing his eyes as he face the rays of the moonlight. "Why couldn't you love me? I really needed someone to comfort with… in times when people point towards me and say I'm cursed. I needed someone to cry on when people push me around. And here when I thought I have parents to run to... you were the first ones to push me away. Why? Why did it have to be this way?"
"Did I do anything wrong? If so, please tell me… I will change. I'm really sorry if I made you angry. I never meant to hurt anyone… I never meant to hurt you." The boy closed his eyes to make the tears fall and opened his eyes again.
"I love you… even though you don't love me. Even though I'm just a demon in your eyes… I still love you both and I would always remember you guys even if I would die." And as he closed his eyes with a smile, "Please love me… just this once. Love me, please?". He didn't know that a figure was creeping slowly in the background.
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Struggle. Pain. Warmth. Bitter. Blurry. Alone.
The boy couldn't help but scream in agony as he clutched the sheets of his bed, feeling immense pain running all over his body. His eyes were filled with tears once again and they all carelessly fall from his eyes. Beads of sweat fall from his face as he turned to his side and curled into a ball, crouching at the pain in his chest and stomach.
He looked at the white ceilings and had totally forgotten the fact that he was at a hospital… everything was blurry and he could hardly see the clear features of the nurses' walking back and forth in his vision.
"I heard he could read our minds and our emotions." An old nurse said, putting down some apparatus on the bedside table. "That's scary." The other nurse replied as she sadly towards the boy. "He must be an Empath."
"Yes, I heard that's what he is." Poor boy. The younger nurse thought placing a wet cloth on top pf the boy's forehead. His parents even left him here alone. The boy lay there, listening to the nurses' pitiful thoughts while he allowed himself to be injected to sleep.
Nagare felt a pang of guilt hit him the moment he stepped on the halls of the hospital that night. He knew he shouldn't have come to the place, but something was nagging inside his consciousness to go and visit his son. The moon was bright red that night, to the point where the atmosphere was as scary as being in hell itself.
He met the nurses in the hallway and had asked some information regarding his son, but all the nurses would ever react was shaking their heads or lowering their sad faces.
He casually walked over to the hallways of the hospital and went towards his son's room, but found that the door was slightly ajar. He approached carefully to the opening and peeked at his son from the outside of the room. The sight made his eyes glare and his hands to turn into a ball of fist.
The boy say still at the pit of the windows with blood at the corner of his lips; his hands grasping tightly around his chest. His legs were sprawled carelessly to the floor while his head rested peacefully on the wall.
"Boy, what are you doing?" Nagare entered the dim-lit room, staring at the lad under his feet. "I didn't pay the hospital for you to lie down on the floor."
"I'm sorry, father." The boy stood up and walked weakly back to the bed, trying not to hide the pain etched all over his face. "I trusted you that you behaved all the while." Nagare said as he caressed his son's cheek with emotionless eyes. "Yes, father." The boy answered obediently, looking up to his father with such sorrowful eyes.
A sudden wave of discomfort suddenly erupted inside his body and he instantly sat up, coughing up blood in his palms. He tried hiding it from his father, but Nagare Kurosaki had already seen the scene. "I am sorry." The boy apologized emotionlessly, wincing in pain at every bow he ever made. Nagare saw this and pushed his son back to the pillow. "Rest." Nagare stood up from his seat and turned to leave the room, the boy couldn't help but smile at his father's concern.
"Thank you, Papa." The boy whispered under his breath, unbeknownst to him that his father had stayed long enough to hear the pleading words of his child.
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"Papa! Mama!" The boy yelled, reaching out to nobody inside his room, tears of blood falling from his eyes. "Hisoka-sama!" A nurse frantically ran inside the empath's room, taking out some shots to make the boy fall asleep. "It hurts. It hurts. Make him go away! Make him go away!" The boy arched his back as strange writings appeared from his body, writings of red that seems as if they were burning him. "Papa! Mama!"
"Hisoka-sama. Please stop struggling." A doctor dressed in white came inside the room, pinning the boy by the arms. "Get the shots. He needs to be put to sleep." The man yelled. "It's of no use. We have given him his 2nd shot but it has no affect on him." A nurse sobbed, helping the doctor in pinning the boy down.
"What is the meaning of this!" The doctor exclaimed, terrified at the fact that he wasn't able to do anything to help the boy under his grasp. His eyes suddenly widened when the red writings appeared all over the boys arms. He, himself, felt the warmth and burn between his fingers as his hands dug deep around the boy's arms. "Call Kurosaki-sama!"
-
"He is a beast!" The boy's mother shrieked as she heard the whole situation by one of the nurses. "It's been 3 hours since he's been like that. We found him outside by the Sakura tree, he was already screaming and all the writings on his body had already started running over his body." The nurse cried, making Nagare bolt into a run towards his son's room. He was only a few meters away from his son's room, but he could already hear his son's screams. "Mama! Papa!"
The moment the door swung open, Nagare's eyes were filled with shock. His son was bound into the bed with his eyes being blindfolded by a piece of cloth while a nurse injected another shot on the boy. "What are you doing!" Nagare screamed at the top of his lungs as he pushed the nurse away. "Is this how you treat a boy with illness!"
"We had to calm him down. Every time he sees the injection, he freaks out. We had to blindfold him in order for us to heal him." The nurse explained terrifyingly. "And is this what you've been trying to do! I don't see any changes to my son! What have you been studying for the past 20 years!"
"Mama! Papa! Make him go away! It. It hurts. Onegai. I'll be a good boy. I-" The boys screams suddenly halted into a stop as his mouth lay open, his back still arched. The finally fell back into the bed, and the moment he did, the writings died out… leaving the unconscious boy to have a dreamless sleep.
That night had been a dreadful memory to the staff of the hospital, but no matter how much the doctors try to figure out the disease and as well as the cure, the boy made no changes to any antibiotic or pain killer. Three years had gone by and the boy grew into a beautiful teenager, but the strange illness was still there. No one knew of how he got the disease. The boy wouldn't even say anything, he was again, left alone by his parents. They would show up sometimes, only to pay the bills or bring new clothes for their son.
But none of them showed any signs of love. None of them bothered to hug their son tight and tell him that everything's going to be okay. The boy had grown bitter and cold over the past three years… he had grown lonely, sad and hopeless.
It was a normal day; a day filled with birds and the sun was shining brightly up the sky. When the boy had another attack again. "Boy!" His father had surprisingly appeared before his sight but what made his father jump was the fact that the boy was holding it in his own, closing his eyes tightly and trying not to scream in pain. The boy had hyperventilated all this while and doctors were running all around the room again.
"Papa…" The boy couldn't help but smile as he saw his father, reaching out to him. But Nagare didn't budge and just stared at his son pitifully. "Forgive me. I wouldn't be here any longer." The boy said, "I have chosen… to give you peace… to give you happiness… to grant you your deepest desire and to eliminate a burden in your life." The boy said, "Papa, I'm sorry I was never the son you hoped for. I know how it feels in your side… to be cursed with a demon for a son… it must be hard for you to be mocked around for having a son like me. I'm sorry, Papa. I've finally realized my mistakes."
"Boy." Nagare approached the teen's bed and sat beside the frail body of his son. "Please, tell them to stop wasting their energy. I was selfish all this time… I wanted you to love me. Without realizing that I was brought here because of that reason." The boy coughed uncontrollably and his father rubbed his back instantly. "Shh." Nagare laid a finger on his son's lips and wiped his son's tears away with his finger.
"Goodbye, Papa…" The boy closed his eyes one last time making all the tears fall from his eyes.
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"TSUZUKI!" Hisoka's eyes widened with tears as he sat up from a nightmare. "Eh?" Tsuzuki sat up from his bed beside Hisoka's bed as he rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes. The brunet blinked for a few times before he saw the tears running down from Hisoka's eyes. "'Soka?" Tsuzuki was fully awake by now and had walked over to Hisoka's bed, taking the blonde into his arms. But the blonde continued crying, hyperventilating and choking from his sobs at the same time.
"Hisoka… calm down." Tsuzuki pulled the blonde's head to his shoulders and hugged the boy from there, but the Empath continued crying and sobbing into the older man's shoulder. "Tell me what's wrong." Tsuzuki pulled away and tried to look at Hisoka's eyes, but Hisoka would pull away and push Tsuzuki back. "You have to tell me what's wrong, otherwise, how can I help you?" Tsuzuki whispered, leaning his forehead on Hisoka's. "Hisoka, I'll be here… I won't leave you behind." Tsuzuki didn't know why he said those. But it was the first thing that came up into his mind. Somehow, he got the feeling that it was the words his partner wanted to hear.
He felt Hisoka's grip around the fabric of his pajamas tightened as Hisoka buried his face in Tsuzuki's shoulder. "Tsuzuki…" Hisoka whispered, Tsuzuki pulled him close as he placed a hand on Hisoka's cheek and planted a kiss on Hisoka's lips. "Shh… go to sleep, Hisoka. I'll be with you all the while."
"Thank you, Tsuzuki…" Hisoka closed his eyes with a smile, making his tears fall from his eyes freely.
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"I was wrong, my son… I would have been there to comfort you… in times when people point towards you and say you are cursed. I would have been there for you to cry upon when people push you around. You didn't do anything wrong. You never meant to hurt anyone…" A man said to no one, standing in front of a tombstone and touching the cement. "Hisoka. We were wrong. We were all wrong." The man said as closed his eyes and placed his hands on his overcoat pockets.
"Even though you are dead. I still love you… my son."
KUROSAKI HISOKA
DIED AT 16
WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
Walking away from the tombstone, the man couldn't help but wipe his face of any trace of tearstains.
End.