So Long
Over the edge. He always goes over the edge. He always pushes too far and ends up over the edge. It happens every time. He can't help it. It's the way he is. Angel was never very good at colouring in. He looked up at the clock over his desk; 15.33. 3 minutes since he last looked. The day was dragging and nothing could cure his boredom.
Angel walked over to the window of his New York basement apartment. He was careful not to let the sun beams shining through the gap in the curtains touch his skin and he observed the world above him. He saw feet. Lots of feet hurrying to wherever they were going. That's what he liked about New York; everyone needed to be somewhere and no one ever asked questions. They just passed through each other's lives, enriching or aggravating them for a brief moment or not affecting them at all, just passing by. He was lonely sometimes but he had his peace. It was a little different to looking out of the oversized windows of his previous home at Wolfram and Hart. Without the special glass there was no protection from the sun, but his new apartment protected him from the painful memories of those days that still plagued his thoughts. Memories of how he couldn't save Fred from Illyria, how Wesley never came back to the alley on that fateful night and how he had to betray his closest allies and friends and as a consequence not gaining back the trust of all of them. Those days are past now but he'll always remember them. He'll always honour the memory of his friends.
Angel turned away from his sunlit window and back in to the shadows noticing a photo album on the bookshelf by his desk that he hadn't looked at in the years since he left Wolfram and Hart. He took it off the shelf and settled back into his chair. He set the book down on his lap and carefully opened it.
The first page read: "Angels Avengers, A photo album compiled by Winnifred Burkle. 2002-2003." Angel smiled to himself. Fred was always taking photographs in her spare time. He turned to the second page and there was a picture of Angel, Wesley and Cordelia taking Fred to Starbucks for the first time. Underneath that there was one of Cordelia shopping for shoes as she often did. He turned the page and found his favourite image. He remembered it as if it were yesterday. He could still feel the wind in his hair and the warmth from the bonfire on his skin. He remembered toasting the marshmallows in the flames and then being envious when his melted off the stick and he watched everyone else enjoying theirs. He admired the truth in the picture. They were all huddled together in a line with Lorne on the end wearing a bobble hat to cover up his horns, then there was Cordelia standing next to him with a beautiful wide smile on her face, Angel was in the middle with his arm around her and his other around Fred. Angel had never seen himself looking happier. Fred was stood munching on her marshmallow and Wesley's nose had turned bright red because of the cold. It was the coldest night they had ever known. The photo was taken by a stranger but it was one he cherished and would never forget. He let his eyes linger for a moment on Cordelia and then he closed the album. He had already said goodbye to her and to everyone else in that photo. He didn't want to have to do it again. It was too painful.
As Angel closed the album, a feeling of familiarity washed over him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and a familiar scent filled the air around him. His enhanced hearing picked up on the familiar sound of a regular heartbeat and rhythmic breaths. He remembered how they made him feel and it felt wonderful. He had missed it. Angle turned his head to the source of his happiness. He allowed his eyes to look up and investigate the sounds and smells he knew so well. A smile crept onto his face and he heard the words, "I'm cookies."